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Are Terry Goodkind books of the So Bad its Good type?


Ser Rodrigo Belmonte

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My memories of this series from years and years ago:

It starts out as generic fantasy with some self-righteous violencing (that, along with some of the other story choices, seems more disturbing as an older person thinking back on it), some "deep thinking" parts and a ton of titillating sexual violence.

As the series progress, the "fun fantasy with violence" parts become smaller and smaller and the "deep thinking" parts take up more and more of the series. The titillating sexual violence seemed to die away too.

I mean, as a teenager, I stopped reading eventually not because I noticed it was bad, but because it just gets really fucking boring around whatever book it is where the Evil Chicken shows up an totally-not-Bill-Clinton gets syphilis cause he's evil. It also becomes alot less coherent. Earlier books seemed to end on some sort of interesting twist or something whereas by the end they were more interested in IMPORTANT HUMAN THEMES then crafting an even half-assed narrative.

Quite simply, don't bother cause they aren't even stupid fun. They are just boring and the diminishing amounts of titillating sex and rape isn't worth slogging through that shit for.

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Ya, the sex stuff never goes away, it only gets creepier. Stuff like mind linking girls so they can feel each others assaults, once to make Kahlan think Richard was cheating. It went from 'slightly tittilating if your into S&M' to 'wow you would have to be a real sick #$#@er.'

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As you wish...

Why can't someone write about a righteous wolf that hunts evil chickens?

I hunted in the dark green night of forest. The sun had let it last rays die, but the moon shone brightly through the leaves, making dappled path of hunter's green. An unfamiliar scent caught in my snort. It smelled at first like fowl, perhaps a pheasant, or a farmer's chicken that had wandered off.

I remembered a time when I had chickens, before I hunted the night's forest. When I was man. Before the unjust accusation, that left me as I am now, that beast of shepherds' dread.

Caught in my musing of my time as a human, I had not yet registered that there was something was wrong with the scent, there was decay and bitterness that tinged the other otherwise alluring trail.

I began to realize that what ever strange creature was making this trail it was moving farther into the wood, closer to my own den where my mate and our young rested. My pace had quickened before I realized.

Suddenly I heard my mate's cry. I was running now.

Then a sound sent a quiver laced with dread straight to my heart. It was not the sound of pheasant, nor any fowl one could imagine. It was cackle of evil, mixed with the song of a roaster. The voice that greets the dawn, but dressed in darkness and despair.

I bust upon the clearing the housed my den, and heard a mighty battle. Then I heard not only mate, but my youngs' voices mixed with that of the unholy creature. I could see feathers and fur strewn across the glen, my legs could carry me no faster.

Suddenly there was silence.

I burst upon my cave with fang exposed ready to avenge my family... when I saw it...

My mate trotted over to me with a wing in her mouth, and drop it in front of me. I was astounded, " What happened?" I panted.

"Oh" My mate said with a toothy grin. "The young and I where just trying to sleep, when this weird chicken appeared at the mouth of the cave. It's eyes where shining red, and it was making this weird kind of eerie noise." She had started to lick her bloody maw. "Then it rushes at us, and I don't mean to alarm you, but it tries to get a bit fresh with me."

I look at her incredulously.

"Well after the initial shock of it, the thing keeps pecking at us, is way to interested in my mating bits, and doing this weird laughing thing. So I says to the children, 'Have at it'"

I look over to my young as they are playing tug of war with it's entrails.

"After that we make pretty short work of it. After all it's was only a chicken."

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The sexual stuff never really goes away. So many almost-rapes, and on two separate occasions female characters use their boobs to distract guards. At least two.

Maybe it just got surrounded by too much boring shit to bother with then.

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As said above, there is no context. It just happens out of thin air with little forewarning (I think Goodkind's established that there are shape-changing evil creatures called chimes, but this is the first time one shows up).

The chicken scene is also notable as a scene in a fantasy novel tha is sometimes parodied in others. Steven Erikson's Reaper's Gale rips the piss out of it (when Tehol screams his house is infested with evil chickens and goes into a rant about them for no apparent reason). Abercrombie also drops an evil chicken reference in one of his novels (can't remember which one now though)

:cheers:

The problem is that chickens are inherently comical. A demon-possessed chicken comes over similarly to the vicious rabbit that defends the Holy Grail. And, the author doesn't seem familiar with chickens, either. Geese hiss, and magpies cackle. Chickens don't do either. Not even chickens that are possessed by demons.

A demon-possessed dog, or horse, or pack of rats, OTOH, could be genuinely frightening.

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The problem is that chickens are inherently comical. A demon-possessed chicken comes over similarly to the vicious rabbit that defends the Holy Grail. And, the author doesn't seem familiar with chickens, either. Geese hiss, and magpies cackle. Chickens don't do either. Not even chickens that are possessed by demons.

A demon-possessed dog, or horse, or pack of rats, OTOH, could be genuinely frightening.

A disciple of the church of yeard once told us a story about the unworldly observation skills of his messiah. Poultry are descendants of the great beasts of lore, now called Jesus horses.

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Seventh Pup - That's brilliant. Are there really that many typos in Goodkind's work? It's amazing how bad proofreaders are these days. I honestly think some authors refuse people trying to correct their work.

Has anyone seen Night of the Lepus? The attack of the giant cute fluffy bunny rabbits. That's what the chicken reminded me of the first time I heard about the thing.

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Seventh Pup - That's brilliant. Are there really that many typos in Goodkind's work? It's amazing how bad proofreaders are these days. I honestly think some authors refuse people trying to correct their work.

By "roaster" does he mean a chicken that's good for roasting, or was it a typo for "rooster"?

It must have been a real bird-brain to attack a wolf pack.

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Don't forget in book 2 he goes to Robert Jordan land, and yet somehow doesn't get sued.

Same publisher, so it's all gravy to them.

Reading interviews with Robert Jordan, it is very, very clear that Jordan absolutely hated the man and his books. Jordan's last public statement before his death was him finally snapping and ripping into Goodkind for being such a twat by making comments that seemed to be taking the piss out of Jordan's heart condition.

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Same publisher, so it's all gravy to them.

Reading interviews with Robert Jordan, it is very, very clear that Jordan absolutely hated the man and his books. Jordan's last public statement before his death was him finally snapping and ripping into Goodkind for being such a twat by making comments that seemed to be taking the piss out of Jordan's heart condition.

The thing is, you've whetted my appetite to at least read the first book, to see if it really can be as bad as everyone says.

I just have to read about a "hero" who thinks the way to deal with a brattish 8 year old is to kick her in the face so hard that her Tongue is severed and jaw shattered.

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By "roaster" does he mean a chicken that's good for roasting, or was it a typo for "rooster"?

It must have been a real bird-brain to attack a wolf pack.

Seventh Pup - That's brilliant. Are there really that many typos in Goodkind's work? It's amazing how bad proofreaders are these days. I honestly think some authors refuse people trying to correct their work.

Probably not that many; honest I just sat down, wrote it, had the computer look for spelling errors, and called it good. There was no proof reading. Which means my writing process and the Yeards are probably very similar. :)

On the disturbing side I think this means I just wrote a yeard fan fiction. :bawl:

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The thing is, you've whetted my appetite to at least read the first book, to see if it really can be as bad as everyone says.

I just have to read about a "hero" who thinks the way to deal with a brattish 8 year old is to kick her in the face so hard that her Tongue is severed and jaw shattered.

I don't think you could get it just from one book. It is cliché for sure, and heavy on conscience and other traps, but actually kinda readable. After that though, pure namble cock.

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I don't think you could get it just from one book. It is cliché for sure, and heavy on conscience and other traps, but actually kinda readable. After that though, pure namble cock.

Yeah I'd have to agree. The first book is actually (sort of) readable. The second book I had to keep lifting my jaw off the ground for the obvious WoT rip-offs. From there the sermons speeches get longer and you are beat over the head with near-rape, kidnappings, magic that can't be used, and IHT's.

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