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Goodkind 53: We Don't Need No Stinking Magic!


349 replies to this topic

#1 Myshkin

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Posted 05 September 2013 - 05:01 PM

So we have a big wall in the north, designed to keep the creepy undead locked away from decent folk. I wonder if Scarlet will give birth to some more baby dragons, which instantly bond with Kahlan.

Remember the rules my rodent brethren:

1) DO NOT FEED THE YEARD

2) Don't troll other Tairy related places on teh interwebs

3) Have fun and play nice

And always remember, if you stare too long into the Yeard, the Yeard might just stare back into you!

#2 Ded As Ned

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Posted 05 September 2013 - 09:58 PM

Oh lord help me, I have stared into the Yeard and drinketh of the blood of innocent Death Choosers! And the Yeard stareth back at me and infusedeth me with Truth!


And alas, I became the penultimate of all unedited Tairy creations from the sheer force of will in a first draft... the Lemming that was not a Lemming. BEHOLD!

#3 Francis Buck

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Posted 05 September 2013 - 10:02 PM

Though I tremble to ask, just what is the yeard?

#4 Serious Callers Only

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Posted 05 September 2013 - 10:11 PM

His ponytail. It also has some noble goat beard associations to me for some reason.

edit: apparently a common question

Edited by Serious Callers Only, 05 September 2013 - 10:12 PM.


#5 Ded As Ned

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Posted 05 September 2013 - 10:12 PM

Though I tremble to ask, just what is the yeard?


Consider yourself warned. Don't click this unless you really want to know.

Edited by Ded As Ned, 05 September 2013 - 10:15 PM.


#6 SkynJay

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Posted 05 September 2013 - 10:16 PM

For somereason I thought it started with a typo of beard that gained a life of its own. Am I wrong?

#7 Jon AS

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Posted 06 September 2013 - 02:02 AM

For somereason I thought it started with a typo of beard that gained a life of its own. Am I wrong?


I think it started as a typo of "yard", actually.
Where are the church elders when you need them? These are important questions.

#8 Lightning Lord

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Posted 06 September 2013 - 02:09 AM

I thought it was a mash-up of TairY beard?

#9 Alytha

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Posted 06 September 2013 - 02:17 AM

So, has Tairy ever been nominated for a Hugo?

#10 MinDonner

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Posted 06 September 2013 - 03:39 AM

Yes, it began as a typo of "yard", from the erratic keyboard of former Tairy ambassador/troll Mystar; he mentioned having something (I forget what) in his yeard, which prompted much speculation as to what a "yeard" really was. By popular acclaim, the word's True Meaning was settled upon as the beard/ponytail combo sported by The Man Himself, and thus a legend was born.

#11 SeanF

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Posted 06 September 2013 - 06:02 AM

So we have a big wall in the north, designed to keep the creepy undead locked away from decent folk.

I wonder where I've read that idea before?

#12 SeanF

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Posted 06 September 2013 - 11:46 PM

Is there nipple magic in the new book?

#13 WrathOfTinyKittens

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Posted 07 September 2013 - 08:43 PM

We can only hope!

He may have upgraded to foreskin magic by now. I wonder how the Yeard feels about circumcision?

#14 Myshkin

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Posted 07 September 2013 - 09:26 PM

We can only hope!

He may have upgraded to foreskin magic by now. I wonder how the Yeard feels about circumcision?


He loves it! In America everyone is properly circumcised, it's only dirty Euro-commies who don't get the snip!

#15 Larry.

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Posted 08 September 2013 - 04:20 AM

Eh, I finished reading it. Didn't pay anything for it (Tor sent me an unsolicited review copy) and it managed to surpass even my expectations for its suckitude. The last few chapters was an almost pornographic description of bodies being cut apart by Dick's magic...umm...sword. Page after page of it, all in the name of "reason." The fallacy of such arguments regarding "reason being one's ruler" was made even more clear in this book than in the previous ones, as Goodkind somehow managed to make everything (plot, characterizations, prose, theme) even worse than his normal dreck. It can be summed up in this sentence:

It was much worse than Stanek.

Think on that and weep.

#16 Gabriele

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Posted 08 September 2013 - 07:47 AM

The poor squirrel. Give him some extra big nuts.

#17 Larry.

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Posted 08 September 2013 - 02:15 PM

The squirrel is planning on feasting on writers' nuts /wink.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=';)' />

#18 Jukka Sorasti

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Posted 13 September 2013 - 01:41 AM

Terry Goodkind has taught me to believe in Fate!

For the longest time I thought there was no logical reason to own four of Tairy's books. I bought them years ago at a garage sale for $2.00 (total), and after finishing them, I had no desire to read the next one in the series. So they have sat on my bookshelf collecting dust (well, to be totally accurate they've been sitting in one of the piles of books near my bookshelf. I have limited shelf space and have to prioritize...I swear I'm not a hoarder. Well...except for books). Until tonight I thought the only reason I still owned them was that I don't like to throw away books. But no, it was Fate!

My shitty old futon broke and they were the perfect size to prop it up. Now I can honestly say that my guests will sleep better because of Richard Rahl. Bless you Tairy, you old windbag!

#19 Ded As Ned

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Posted 17 September 2013 - 05:01 PM

Has Tormund actually tapped out??? This cannot be. I will take one for the team here if I must.

#20 Young Falcon

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Posted 17 September 2013 - 05:49 PM

Loved the Third Kingdom, just amazing. One of his best.