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Goodkind 53: We Don't Need No Stinking Magic!


Myshkin

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That would be very tragic. Or maybe it's about sole fishes? One day they discover that all the soles have vanished! Almost rape and very long speeches full of truthiness and moral celery ensue!


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That has potential. Evil collectivist fish, in their shoals just like commies; the ocean truly belongs to the noble sharks! Feeding frenzies (strictly non-vegetarian) for all!

Sharks? Psht, buncha wussies. The ocean belongs to the squids and their raptor-like beaks!

And I think Terry's real problem with sole isn't that it's a fish; no, it's that after heartily enjoying one for lunch he went home and looked up where Dover was, and became enraged when he found out he was tricked into eating an English fish. Those shifty restaurant people owe their lives to the fact that they didn't serve Terry any dijon mustard.

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  • 3 months later...

Sword of Truth would be as successful as Game of Thrones and more if those bloody-commie-death-choosing screenwriters wouldn't cut out of glories of Tairy philosophy, wisdom and moral celery. Sword of Truth without noble goats and brain-washing statues is like Game of Thrones without boobs and Tyrion Lanister crack jokes.



EDIT: Also you reminded me that I stopped reading old Tairy threads around Goodkind 27. Bad you, now I had to read rest of them!


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This is still going, huh? I picked up The Omen Machine for a dollar a while back but I still haven't worked up the courage to start it. But I suppose I have better books to read first.


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  • 1 month later...

Ok. This has been dragged out long enough. Tormund is dead. He had his magic stolen and was raped by a black sister with a barbed penis and then sacrificed by a pseudo-vegetarian via the thing method. No one can hope to match his bravery or snarkicisms, but someone must carry his burden and it is I. I shall pick up a copy of The Fifteenth (or twelfth, or whichever ) Kingdom tomorrow and carry on this great legacy.

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Seeing as I used to read these threads long before I actually bothered to make an account just a few days ago (that's right, I've been lurking for years, muwahahahahaha!), I must say I was rather disappointed when the midget-slayer vanished. May he rest in peace.


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Tormund is alive and well, but I doubt he'll be back to finish this thing off, so DaN's heroic sacrifice is most welcome! Choosing death that others might be mildly entertained, it's the true Lemming spirit. :thumbsup:

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Was he gagged by Tairy's Lawyers of Truth, or is he just holed up in the woods somewhere leaving rambling voicemails and ranting about 'the horror' while a noble goat is symbolically slaughtered?

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Ok folks, I have book in my possession. The used book store paid me 5 bucks to take it off their hands. This will be slow going, because life. I'm not going to start at the beginning. I'll read through Torumund's previous entries and pick up where he left off.



The bourbon is full and the bullets are locked away out of my reach... and thus I descend...



"The old doctor felt my pulse, evidently thinking of something else the while. "Good, good for there," he mumbled, and then with a certain eagerness asked me whether I would let him measure my head. Rather surprised, I said Yes, when he produced a thing like calipers and got the dimensions back and front and every way, talking notes carefully. He was an unshaven little man in a threadbare coat like a gaberdine, with his feet in slippers, and I thought him a harmless fool. "I always ask leave, in the interests of science, to measure the crania of those going out there," he said. "And when they come back too?" I asked. "Oh, I never see them, " he remarked; "and, moreover, the changes take place inside, you know." He smiled, as if at some quiet joke. "So you are going out there. Famous. Interesting too." He gave me a searching glance and made another note. "Ever any madness in your family?" he asked, in a matter-of-fact tone. I felt very annoyed. "Is that question in the interests of science too?" "It would be," he said, without taking notice of my irritation, "interesting for science to watch the mental changes of individuals..."


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