Lily Valley

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About Lily Valley

  • Rank
    Yes, I'm Nasty
  • Birthday 01/12/1975

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  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    New Orleans
  • Interests
    Science
    SFF both YA and adult
    Friends
    Family
    My City
    Live Music

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  1. I have been advised to avoid sexual activity, alcohol, caffeine and my bicycle. It's Mardi Gras. I'm afraid I must ignore this good advice.
  2. LBGTQ - 4 out of 5 cats prefer lesbians

    Trampoline gym! WOW! Interesting that you are noting the physical changes. I'm glad to hear you had fun. I've been thinking a lot about sexuality and identity lately. Stuff is brewing and I'm putting my thoughts together. In the meantime, I stumbled across this article and wanted to post it for my bi / queer pals here. This is a phenomenon I have definitely noticed about my own body image. I wondered if anyone else felt more body conscious when dating men than when dating women. https:[email protected][email protected]rj
  3. Hugo time! Hugo time! Roundup for 2017 Awards

    Free access to the stuff on the Nebula list! http://www.bogireadstheworld.com/nebula-nominations-with-free-reads/
  4. It feels like an overly dramatic pause after "and". When I read it, I feel like Frank 'n' Furter is reading the sentence. Thank you ma'am. I will be buying in bulk and adding to my regular diet. Ibuprofen and water have been my very best friends. THE PAIN! In addition, the UTI is the real modern reason for "NO SEX UNTIL MARRIAGE!" That health insurance makes getting antibiotics a hell of a lot cheaper.
  5. I am here to discuss female complaints, ball problems and all other non-boring topics. I would like to include the Oxford comma in this discussion as I hate it. Based on reading my own writing, this is probably my fault. I am 42 years old and I STILL screw up after periods of abstinence by forgetting to pee twice. The resulting horror show is awful. Doin' it now. I honestly can't say I missed this. In the book of my life when they weigh the UTI's against the scale of the sex I had, right now I would say "Tell peen to go eff itself". '
  6. George's other stuff

    I can tell you it does. I see old boyfriends and always want to scream "I WAS NEVER THAT GIRL!" That girl was a woman shaped hole in their lives that I could never have filled because I didn't fit. The elusive "Jenny" was one of the most real characters I have ever read about written by a male author. "Jenny" is the girl Dirk was in love with. She isn't a real girl. I love Jenny even though she's not even a character in this book.
  7. George's other stuff

    Ooooh. You're in for a treat. Thing is, we only have Dirk's point of view. Gwen's relationships to all of the others don't look the same to her as they do to Dirk. Going to shut my pie hole now and be secretly jealous you're reading it for the first time. I think my copy is at work or I'd read along side you.
  8. George's other stuff

    I LOVE this book. I got thwarted at the last con I was at in the question line. I have been waiting for a couple of years to ask George about the themes, relationships and back history portrayed here. There's nothing in the SSM database about Dying of the Light. It is such a beautiful world, romantic story and a great piece to discuss in feminist terms. Please post your write up when it's finished. Interesting that people find it nihilistic, I found it extremely hopeful and romantic. The survivors essentially had to turn their whole world on it's ear and remake their lives into something new. Breathtaking. It's been a year or two since I read it, I'd be up for a reread if anyone else wants to play.
  9. US Politics - Trump - Making America Grate!

    I don't like it.
  10. Eye Contact - how long is too long? 2 seconds? 2 minutes!?

    You will become that long beaked bird that is GOING to eat someone's face. Like in Watership Down before they realize the gull is harmless. Better yet, put the eye patch on a pal and have them stare at you with it and you will TOTALLY understand what us non-eye-contact people feel. Like....YIKES!
  11. Eye Contact - how long is too long? 2 seconds? 2 minutes!?

    Had to wear one for pinkeye. It frightens people even more than eyes-contact.
  12. Eye Contact - how long is too long? 2 seconds? 2 minutes!?

    Do it dude. I'll buy all the listerine so we can weep freshness at Karaoke. While YOU STOP LOOKING AT ME!
  13. Eye Contact - how long is too long? 2 seconds? 2 minutes!?

    GAH!!! This is the OPPOSITE of a good conversation down here! The SPEAKER watches the LISTENER!!! THE LISTENER IS TALKING BACK WITH BODY LANGUAGE! Eye contact is reserved for when the listener wants to make a point! Oh wait, you're talking about when someone is telling a campfire story or on a tindr date. Carry on. Larry, when are you coming down to lick eyeballs?
  14. LBGTQ - 4 out of 5 cats prefer lesbians

    I am crying laughing. I had no idea about Panera, but one of my students gave me a gift card to Panera last semester. I think she was trying to give me a head's up. I am lucky enough to live in New Orleans. We have a great queer community here and I am seriously whining over a non-problem. I wish to GOD I had known this when I was visiting my son in Jesus-Church Louisiana. There was a Panera right by the bus stop. I'm 42 and have been bi-invisible most of my life. The first partner I lived with was a woman and she Broke. My. Heart. I've been out as much as a cis-bi-woman can without people just dismissing every single heartbreak I've ever had as a "phase" or "what did you expect would happen, you're not gay?". For me, getting married and being able to put a foot in my own ass to come out has been really more of a big deal than I thought it would be. I'm understanding that a lot of the downplay about my relationships with girls is deep homophobia with people I thought I knew. I know this makes me pretty late to the party. In my defense, I have kept my public and private lives very separate until this last job. It's just not really possible anymore. I'm used to backlash from the general public, I'm used to my family being...themselves. I'm just not used to people I think of as friends behaving like my family or the general public. It sucks. Anyway, I'm going on and on about silliness. I will say this to you: I have NEVER been sorry to fight for who I am. I have never been sorry to try and be myself. It has cost me a lot in things that many people care about. It has cost me money, it has cost me friends, it has cost me jobs, it has cost me personal safety, it has cost me family. I am a happier and better person than I would have been if I had shoved myself down an oubliette. This shit is still hard. It's worth it. Every battle is a LOT easier than the last one. I got arrogant and thought the fight was over. I was wrong, that's OK. I have learned how to protect myself. WF, I want you to have that armor too. I regard every shitty little setback I get on this new journey through the eyes of how much worse it was. It doesn't really hurt that much anymore. I remember how much more it used to hurt. Now I reduce people I respect, and I hate it. I especially hate thinking about what they are teaching young people. Reach out if you need us. Thanks for checking in on me. I really appreciate it. I was out sick most of the week. Next week I am bringing in cake for everyone. They can either EAT MY FUCKING CAKE OF HAPPINESS OR ELSE I WILL.
  15. Eye Contact - how long is too long? 2 seconds? 2 minutes!?

    I always FACE the interviewer because I want to intimidate them. These days, I usually interview with teams and that makes the eye contact thing a lot easier as I can skip around the room. Dealing with my shrink is the worst. I stare at the carpet the whole time and I only look up when she asks a question. I don't have aspergers. I am just very uncomfortable with sustained eye contact in charged conversations. It feels really inappropriately intimate to me. I encouraged Theda to start this thread because "level of eye contact" has been a weird thing here in New Orleans with the influx of new blood. A lot of people from the rest of the US subscribe to the "don't make eye contact with strangers" nonsense. That makes them seem both unfriendly and also look frightened. Both are unpleasant things to respond to in a new neighbor. With our school system, we've been employing a lot of teachers from other parts of the country, they have COMPLETELY different styles of body language that often confuse the students. Eye contact is one of the biggest issues. In my completely anecdotal observations, eye contact is reserved for friendly and intimate conversations. In business, I agree that DISTANCE increases eye contact by an inverse square law. The most intimate conversations I've had have been either in touching proximity with ZERO eye contact or across the room with 1-3 seconds of eye contact. It's powerful and invasive. When forced, it feels like a weapon.