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Everything posted by Orphalesion

  1. Best ASOIAF YouTube videos?

    OMG and it's a whole series...well I didn't need to sleep tonight anyway....
  2. I challenge you to justify supporting the Others winning

    There isn't one. GRRM can say they "aren't evil" as much and as loud as he wants, he has yet to even hint at that in the books. And it would be very hard to justify wholesale genocide and turning their victims into zombies. If there is something worse they are running from or some cosmic balance reason why they have to go South they could still at least TRY to communicate that...or at least not defile the dead of their victims by animating them to battle their former friends and loved ones. So, yes there can be a lot of justification for why the Others need to go south, but none for the way they go about it. Still wouldn't be their position to decide that for the humans and exterminate the good along with the bad.
  3. Be as unhelpful as possible 2.to

    I thought The World Of Warcraft was a MMO... Why can't we have nice Kings?
  4. The Others: Why now?

    I'm still saying they have noticed that the Night's Watch has dwindled to practically nothing. So they have decided that now would be a good time to attack. Of the reasons you named I only see 6 happening. 4 is only slightly less stupid than the "theory" that they come because "nasty awful" Catelyn despoiled the "pure purity pureness" of the "Perfect Northerners(tm)" with her "awful nasty Southron" Sept in Winterfell. I still say those words amount to nothing more than "someone has to hold down the fort"
  5. Why women don't take black

    Let's not argue about which inhumane cult with lifetime membership is the worse one. I know this comes down to personal preference, but if my only choice was between either death or joining the NW/SS, I'd rather be a Silent Sister in the Reach or the Crownlands than a NW member on the fracking Wall.
  6. Three word story (game)

    on the back
  7. King without Cock

    It would be nothing like the Norman Invasion and it would be something incredibly random and incredibly pointless. The Vikings had at least the intelligence to become sessile and farm their lands with the wealth they accured. The Ironborn are too stupid for even that, as history shows. Plus Theon doesn't possess very good leadership qualities. You don't even explain how this is supposed to go down. Does Theon just sit on down on the Throne say "it's my spot" and everybody shrugs and goes "okay"?
  8. Why Tywin doesn't use Faceless men to kill Stannis

    Yeop pretty much, they'd ask for Joffrey, Tommen and Myrcella. Tywin's legacy for Stannis' legacy. Tywin is many horrible things, but he's no so blinded by hate that he would destroy himself just to destroy his enemy. It's Cersei who would be so dumb, but even with her a LOT more would have to happen before she gives up her kids just to kill a single enemy of hers.
  9. What would be the point of breaking the Seven Kingdoms up? They aren't separated by any language barrier, their cultural barriers are in most cases either non-existant (everything between the Neck and Dorne) or negligible. A unified land offers greater mobility and safety for trade. The Dornish were already making plans to restore the Targaryen dynasty and the Ironborn don't deserve to be independent. They need to be kept under the heel so they don't start raping and plundering the entire western coast again. Also what trouble would be "solved"? First you have the Ironborn on the loose again, and look at Euron to see what a "good" idea that is by itself, then you'll have several parties fight over the Crownlands, then the old border disputes between Dorne and the Stormlands/the reach flare up again. Tywin might move into the Riverlands, maybe into the Reach, because he most definitely would not be "fine" with having his power base ruined. The Tyrell's meanwhile are interested in safety not power, and without any sort of Crown authority backing those upjumped Stewards I can see several of the Reach houses rebelling in a heartbeat, plunging the whole region in civil war and making it easy fodder for the surrounding kingdoms. Congratulations! You have just started six mayor flashpoints. What trouble was "solved"? I really don't get where people get this nonsense idea that the Westeros would be better off being split up... Well...I suppose the only trouble that would be "solved" would be that the Dornish would have an easier time with their Targaryen restoration. They might be able to host Viserys, Daenerys and Rhaegar (if he is genuine) and start their reconquest sooner. Which of course means no Dragons for the War for the Dawn. Congratulations, you might have just doomed humanity.
  10. Why women don't take black

    Westeros is a extremely primitive, extremely patriarchal society with strong gender roles. In general Westerosi women are barred from martial carriers. The only female fighters we meet during the story are fighters either because of circumstance or because their fathers indulged their whims. Also PFFFFFFFT! Joining the cultist border patrol in the worst place in all of Westeros is not a "right"...in most cases it's a sentence! Most of the members of the Night's Watch are at the Wall because they were either pressured to take the black (usually at the PAIN OF DEATH) or outright forced. Where is there any "right" in there? Why force more innocents to suffer that fate?
  11. Are you also going to ask why Martin made so many blond characters? Or female ones? Does that mean he must be blonde/a woman or part of some Aryan organization/the feminist movement? Wait...how many characters are Lefties? There must be some leftie over rightie campaign in the book! Martin has gay characters because gay people exist in real life and always have existed, even in the real life middle ages and some of them were badass. Martin has busloads of characters, it would be weirder if none of them was gay/bi.
  12. Be as unhelpful as possible 2.to

    Ned used to hold themed dinners on Friday nights to boost the morale of Winterfell's staff. But he stopped after the Old Nan incident on Rocky Horror Night. "Your luck! He's lucky! We are all luuuuuuuucky!" In the TV series why do the Tyrell's wear that washed-out teal/turquoise instead of proper green?
  13. Les Miserables

    Are you being serious? This is a legitimate question. I can't tell whether you are serious or joking.
  14. Jon was born a bastard and remains a bastard.

    First of all the only reasonable scenario by this point is Rhaegar and Lyanna. Unless we are talking theoretical thought experiments. On topic: Yes Jon is a bastard (unless the theory about the secret marriage is true, but I dunno about that) What people suggest by saying he might, possibly, perhaps become a Targaryen and/or King of something is simply considering the three factors 1) that the Targaryens are as good as extinct 2) that it's likely that the throne will pass from the Baratheons to somebody else by right of conquest, in which rules are not as important 3) that Westeros is going to face world altering cataclysms, something that tends to negate rules of succession as well. Also consider that whoever sits at the IT might decide to legitimize Jon in some way. Just look at the execution of the Romanov family. The Russian monarchy at that point was very strict and very clear that the throne cannot be passed down through the female line or be inherited by a woman. Theoretically this would have meant they only have to execute the zar and his son and be done with it. However since this was a period of social upheaval the danger of royalists gathering around one of the daughters or a hypothetical son of said daughters was very real. There's always succession laws and what reality makes of it.
  15. There are no religions in the story?

    Oh no I was talking about the author, not you. And well, he also has more Elves than he admits to.
  16. Not nearly hot enough. Not nearly. And way too old. Plus if they did that they'd probably make Duncan more like the Hound, which would be a crime beyond imagination. Besides I'm not the biggest fan of recycling actors. I mean while where at it why not cast Kathy Bates as Rohanne Webbers?
  17. Best ASOIAF YouTube videos?

    Ohhhhh YES! I don't like listening to some youtubers spouting their half-backen nonsense theories, but I LOOOOOOOOOVE those parody videos. There's also these medleys: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FY5oBI76sig https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cH66oTVashY Tywin coming out of the privy to rap always cracks me up X-D And this music video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PjJf0WqKK1w This Jon Snow isn't the best singer imho (not horrible though), but their Joffrey is MARVELOUS hahahaha. And this animation: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Elwj8ZFAznE And the Game of Thrones 16-bit RPGs: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=63lE2ns_vUY
  18. Be as unhelpful as possible 2.to

    I will patch you through to our billing department for alternate payment plans. *puts you on a waiting line that's nothing but Miley Cyrus singing a pop cover of 'The Rains of Castamere' for 14 hours straight* How did baby Jon survive the journey back to Winterfell?
  19. Crownlands Noble House Scenario

    To only reason I would pick up a sword and leading troops is when it's about protecting my smallfolk,because that's my duty and they generally lack the means to protect themselves. Going to Dorne to kill innocent Rhoynar doesn't sound like protecting my smallfolk. In fact it sounds like jeopardizing them since my family line is not secure. So I won't answer the King's call to arms personally, so much is clear. And truth be told I don't know whether I'd want to sacrifice my half-brother to t Daeron's meat grinder either, particularly if I'm close to him. If I'm not completely mistaken all the king can really ask of me when he calls his banners is to provide a token fighting force for him. So that's all that white haired incest spawn gets for his stupid conquest, maybe with some fake apology about our lands have suffered da wave of disease and how much I regret about not "being able" to send more men. As to who gets to lead it.... Well as I said I wouldn't want to sacrifice a family member because the King wants his damn Dornish lemon cakes. However it depends on why and how much the half-brother wants to fight (does he just want some "action", does he hope to win land in Dorne?). So the first thing would be to have a talk with him, find out his motivation for wanting to go to war and try to dissuade him from doing so. If he thinks it's glory and adventure, I'll remind him of what that "glory and adventure" made of our father and uncle.If he thinks it's his duty I'd argue that his first duty is to help protect and manage our home and our people, not to go fighting on some stretch of sun-backed rock. If he hopes to win his own stretch of Dorne, well then there would be little I could offer to dissuade him from that, expect maybe some sort of position within my domain, which might or might not be enough. Hopefully that will persuade him to stay, in which case Belwar gets to lead the troops. He sounds competent and has a good relationship to the smallfolk, so I can have confidence that he won't sacrifice the lives of my man to win any "glory". If not I'd send both him and Belwar. The last thing to consider would be how fast I can set aside that paranoid harpy who has just suggested to murder my last remaining brother and who apparently cares more about what the seven kingdoms think than what i think, for a better wife. Enjoy being a Silent Sister, honey! Then get a new wife and make babbehs with her while Daeron gets murdered by the Dornish. Which allows me to manage my lands and actually be there as my sons grow up to teach them.
  20. Bumping for TWOW V4

    Aha really nice etymology. I myself am spring born (April) and its my favourite season (and pretty much the only thing I miss whenever I live in a place that doesn't feature seasons) Which might go a long while to explain why I'm such a Tyrell fanboy, ha. Anybody ever thought which Houses of Westeros would symbolize the seasons? Winter - Starks (duh) Spring - Tyrells (roses, growing strong yadda yadda) Autumn - Baratheons (autumn storms and stags) Summer - Martells (duh)
  21. Yep Olenna and Margaery. I'd gladly trade all the Greyhoys, all the Dornish POVs, Barristan Selmy and half of Arya's chapters for that.
  22. Songs that Make Us Think of A Song of Ice and Fire

    I like that interpretation. The Night's Watch and their ridiculous oath are just another brick in the wall. another brick in the wall of fanaticism and oppression and Westeros' ridiculous, primitive idea of justice and "honour". I'm afraid that my song association aren't nearly as original. "Little Lion Man" by Mumford and sons reminds me of Jaime Lannister once his character development kicks in, particularly after he has lost his hand. Many people just think of Tyrion with this one, solely because of the title I assume, because the lyrics fit Jaime better imho. Weep for yourself, my man, You'll never be what is in your heart (" That boy had wanted to be Ser Arthur, but someplace along the way he had become the Smiling Knight instead") Weep little lion man, You're not as brave as you were at the start (if I may interpret this particular use of brave as fearless) and of course: Now learn from your mother or else spend your days biting your own neck (the scene where he has the dream/vision of Joanna's ghost, Jaime better realize what she, or his subconscious, was saying here and act accordingly, it's not too late for redemption) "Shallot" and "What If" by Emily Autumn fit my interpretation of Lyanna. "Shallot" is her in relation to Rhaegar and why she might have gone with him, while "What if"describes her relationship (or lack thereof) with Robert. You don't know me Never will, never will I'm outside your picture frame And the glass is breaking now You can't see me Never will, never will If you're never gonna see What if I'm a crowded desert, Too much pain with little pleasure? What if I'm the nicest place you never want to go? (Robert loved the idea of Lyanna, not Lyanna herself imho and they would not have been happy together) "King and Lionheart" by Monsters and Men kind of reminds me of the relationship between Tyrion and Jaime and of different parts in their respective journeys. It mostly reminds me of Tyrion during the Blackwater and Jaime during his imprisonment, but also of their current situations and of Tyrion's ordeal at the Eyrie ("Howling Ghosts they reappear, in mountains that are stacked with fear") "As the world comes to an end, I'll be there to hold your hand" that's basically what I hope their fate will be, though I think only Jaime will die.
  23. There are no religions in the story?

    Just want to point our that this statement is basically wrong. Not that GRRM hasn't said it, but to me it's about as ridiculous as his pathological need to see details about the taxation laws, trade agreements and spelling reforms during Aragorn's reign ("because otherwise, ruled good and wise for many years, what does that even mean?") I mean: The Narnia Books (though well it's technically furry Jesus, not furry God) and the Space Trilogy also by Lewis (though technically angels there, not gods, but they do take the shape of the Greek Gods), American Gods, more Discworld Novels than you can shake a stick at, works based on pagan legends...also pretty sure that some gods creep up somewhere int he Elric of Melnibone novels (iirc). Do all those stories not exist according to GRRM? Or are they doing it "wrong"? Who is he to decide that for everyone and absolute? I would also list Tolkien's works, thing is God only shows up in one little part of the Silmarillion and there is no form of organized religion in the LoTR or the Hobbit itself. I will say that I have the feeling that GRRM doesn't really understand faith. He understands the vestiges of organized religion and how it was and is used in societies, but not faith. Two very different things, faith and religion. And all the religions he has made up for Planetos seem very hollow, they have all the trimmings but little/no "meat". If we were to compare the "faith and religion" situation in Planetos and Middle Earth I'd say Planetos has religion without faith (which fits the story) Middle Earth has faith without religion (which fits the story) well...and Narnia has faith and religion (which fits the furry Jesus fanfiction the story, because its basically allegory and philosophical discussion disguised as a story). Of course I stand by the statement that I have never had the feeling that the story of ASoIaF itself tries to push any sort of religious philosophy, not any more or any less than with Tolkien. I have the impression he leaves it up to the reader how much they want/need/wish to buy into the (non-) existence of Gods in ASoIaF. The only condition I can accept and even agree with such a statement like that is if we put forward the idea that God/a God(dess)/the Powers that Be would be so much beyond a human and thus so alien that it would be impossible to have them as characters in a story. That is correct imho, it would be impossible to do that justice. That's basically why my DnD settings never have gods.
  24. N+A=D?

    Not this bull**** theory again. *bangs head against wall in hopes that the pain will stop* Also if you are too lazy to type a theory out then I don't feel like discussing it, I don't want to watch a slur of bad youtube videos.
  25. Remark by Jaime's aunt Genna about Tyrion

    At most I will concede to tendencies and some mental illnesses being genetic, but not to bullcrap like "Cersei and Jaime started their incest because they are secret Targaryens" or "The Boltons are genetically evil".