The Bard of Banefort

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  1. I thought of another one: Daemon Targaryen had a Valyrian fetish, which was likely tied to his own narcissism. In the short-term, it didn't seem to matter much to him (such as during his affair with Nettles), but if you look at Daemon's four long-lasting relationships (three wives and a mistress), all of them at least started out well, with the exception of Rhea Royce, the only woman who, as far as we know, did not have a traditional Valyrian appearance.
  2. I've been re-reading some of Cersei's AFFC chapters, and there are some small details that help convey just how erratic she is. In Cersei VII, Qyburn informs Cersei and the others about Euron's pillage of the Shield Islands: On the next page, Cersei mentions the possibility of an alliance between Stannis and the Ironborn: Despite having just been told that Euron is Balon's brother, Cersei has already forgotten and refer's to him as Balon's son. The lack of knowledge regarding the Greyjoys was also noted earlier in the book, in Cersei IV: Assuming that Euron pulls off whatever he has planned out west, I suspect this dismissal with come back to haunt Cersei. Later on in Cersei VII, we see her speak with a man who claims to have brought her Tyrion's head: Then after seeing the severed head, she says:
  3. Since I don't think Sansa's going insane, I'm inclined to believe that the Unkiss was a premonition of sorts. I doubt GRRM would keep having Sansa bring it up if it didn't have some sort of greater significance.
  4. Sansa and Tyrion kiss during their wedding ceremony, and then Joffrey forces a kiss on her when they're dancing during the reception.
  5. The show accents faded pretty quickly for me. Because I'm from the US, the characters sound American to me, but with a very theatrical dialect, like an actor would use when performing in a stage play.
  6. Oh, wow, this will be fun! Maekar will eventually knight Dunk. I think that Dunk with eventually come clean to Egg about him not being knighted, but that after proving himself as a worthy fighter and protector for all these years, Maekar will (possibly begrudgingly) take it upon himself to knight him. It would be a nice moment for the long-suffering prince and the man he had gotten off to such a bad start with. Jaime will be the one to find Tysha again, not Tyrion. Part of his arc is repenting for his past sins, so much like how I think he'll meet Bran again, I think he'll have to face Tysha as well. Jaime did not know that Tywin was going to hurt her like he did, but he still feels guilty for it, and he needs to address that. If Jaime is the valonqar, he won't kill Cersei over her attempting to burn down King's Landing, but rather because of something more personal. My headcanon is that he and Brienne will have a child, and Cersei, in her jealousy, will arrange to have that child killed. Speaking of children, Asha's definitely having one. If it's a boy, it will be named Quellon. Aegon will try to take two wives, Arianne and Sansa. Arya will kill Lady Stoneheart. Daenerys will intersect with Edric Storm. SanSan isn't endgame, but they will have a sexual relationship. Septa Lemore and Haldon Halfmaester are Melora and Leyton Hightower. Bran will warg a dragon. Jaime is Joanna's true son the same way Tyrion is Tywin's true son. Daemon Blackfyre was never in love with his half-sister, Daenerys. That was just a story invented by the singers. The Ironborn descend from voyagers from Ashaii. Marei the Whore is Tywin's bastard.
  7. Thank you. I really don't understand what it is about this topic that enrages people so much. I think it may be because it became popular after Preston Jacobs made a video about it, and the bloggers all hate him, which shows just how ridiculous the backlash is. I don't agree with any of Preston's theories, but the fact that people get personally offended by hypothetical theories about a fictional book series is mind-boggling.
  8. I'm not the biggest fan of Barristan, but he grew up in the Dornish Marches, and spent several decades in King's Landing. Brandon and Ashara having sex probably wasn't dishonorable to him, even if he was jealous. This does leave open the possibility that there was some degree of foul play involved. On the other hand, I think another way of interpreting this is that Ashara may well have fallen in love with Brandon, and hoped or expected him to end his betrothal to Cat to be with her instead. We saw essentially the same thing happen with Barbrey -- she clearly thought that Brandon was going to marry her (and still thinks he wanted to, by the looks of it), but is there any reason to really think that he was genuine in this? Brandon's described as being the "wild wolf" who "was never shy about taking what he wanted." If anything, he sounds quite a bit like Robert, who would, according to Ned, "swear undying love and forget them before evenfall." So my guess as to how Ashara was dishonored was likely not because she had sex, but rather because Brandon abandoned her afterwards. Now she was alone and pregnant, her child would be a bastard and have to face challenges unique to bastards, even in Dorne, and any promises Brandon may have made her had already been broken. That probably garnered a great deal of sympathy from Barristan, and aside from wanting to be with her on a personal level, he also likely wished he could have spared her that experience. Ned's bitterness over Cat hearing rumors about Ashara likely stemmed from the fact that, much like with Lyanna, Ned's honor was being tainted by the actions of his siblings. If Ned told Cat that Brandon had been Ashara's lover, that may have hurt her even more -- she was already furious about Jon being raised at Winterfell, and now she'd be learning that Brandon, whose wilder reputation she seems to have been unaware of, was a womanizer who probably wouldn't have been faithful to her either. And besides, by allowing others to believe that he had been Ashara's lover, Ned was further protecting Jon's identity. If people already believed they knew who Jon's mother was, there'd be less gossip about other possibilities regarding his parentage.
  9. I've always found it a little weird that the lemon tree theories stir up so much controversy among ASOIAF fans (especially among bloggers, who are delirirously opposed to all of them). This is the same fandom that came up with Varys the Merman and Tyrion the Time-Traveling Fetus. Is the possibility that the house in Braavos was actually in Lys or Tyrosh really all that absurd in comparison? While I doubt that Dany has been to Dorne, I think the lemon tree likely signifies that there are parts of her childhood that she's been lied to or misled about. It adds an additional level of mystery to the story.
  10. I think Jaime respects what the White Cloak stood for when Arthur Dayne and Gerold Hightower were the ones wearing IT, and I think he longs to restore the Kingsguard--and himself--to that honor. At the same time, I think there's a part of Jaime that desperately wants a family, to have a wife and children away from King's Landing: If Jaime does end up killing Cersei, I think it will be connected in some way to this. Strangling someone to death is an act of extreme, personal rage. If he was stopping Cersei from burning down King's Landing, he would just put a sword through her the way he did Aerys. As far as Cersei having an affair, he already turned his back on her in that respect; in ADWD, Jaime is still resentful, but he's also more at peace in than in AFFC. If Cersei were to do something to jeopardize his new life, however--such as by doing something to Brienne or, if Jaime ever does have another child with someone else, arranging to have that child killed like she did Robert's--that could be something that pushes him over the edge.
  11. Haha I meant when you're reading the dialogue, do you hear it in any particular accent? Not what accent they'd actually have in-universe.
  12. When you're reading the books, what accents do you imagine the characters speaking with? I'm guessing that for most of us, we probably hear whichever accent we're most familiar with on a day-to-day basis. Personally, I find it amusing to contemplate if, in George's mind, all of the characters sound like they're from New Jersey ;-)
  13. One thing about Jaime is that he's always loved Tyrion, and probably would have believed him if Tyrion swore that he hadn't poisoned Joffrey. The question would be if a Kingsguard could defend someone against the queen. If so, it is possible that Jaime would have been his champion against the Mountain. He would, after all, still have his sword hand.
  14. Thank you. I'm very curious to see if Tyrion becomes Westeros' Walter White.
  15. I've seen a number of people claim that George has gone on record saying that he wants to write a character more villainous than Walter White. Do we know if he actually said this though, or is it more of an ASOIAF urban legend?