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About Chaldanya

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    Demon Feminist or Feminist Demon. You decide!

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    London: South of God's own city

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  1. US Politics: Opening Pandora's Box

    Unfortunately Republicans want The White House and power too much to do anything substantive about this. There'll be a congressional hearing or two and a couple more resignations but that's it. Game over and he'll probably get in for another four years. If he can keep his small orange hands off the nuclear weapons.
  2. Feminism - Post-apocalypse version

    'tis done! @brook Feeling is mutual <3
  3. Feminism - Post-apocalypse version

    I dunno sometimes I'm a demon feminist and other times a feminist demon. I feel a title change coming on.
  4. Feminism - Post-apocalypse version

    But this isn't a problem with the tenets of feminism or what feminism looks like. There are other factors at play here the major one being that the people who don't want to move to egalitarian society for whatever reason have done a bang up job of painting all feminists as unnatural man hating/child hating humourless hairy beasts.
  5. Feminism - Post-apocalypse version

    I know you don't mean to, Maithanet but if we can not judge women on if they managed to escape a DV situation no matter their reasons. And to always be sensitive when discussing these issues there are victims of domestic violence on the board who may read and/or contribute to the thread. We don't need to be judging them...
  6. Feminism - Post-apocalypse version

    Honest to god, Lily, this gives me life.
  7. Feminism - Post-apocalypse version

    This is the feminist thread, buster. There will be no joy here!
  8. Feminism - Post-apocalypse version

    You'll get no disagreement from me at all. It's the extra work on top of a full time job that still disproportionately falls to the woman. And even given the partnership model of a SAHM/out to work husband* the SAHM is on call 24/7 and the husband tends to come home and thinks he goes to work all day he doesn't have to do anything around the home (am on a message board for moms and this is a feature of many conversations). *so, I'm aware I'm being hideously heteronormative here mainly because I don't have the knowledge of other partnerships/relationships. if anyone has info/anecdotes etc they'd like to bust out to help me, all gratefully received.
  9. Feminism - Post-apocalypse version

    So in the UK, you get mandatory 6 weeks at 90% ( you HAVE to take that it's ilegal for you to go back to work less than 6 weeks after birth - happy to be corrected if I'm wrong), thereafter you get statutory pay for then next 7.5 months which comes in at about £500 per month. And then you're entitled to 3 months without pay. The company must keep a position open for you on your return. Now, some companies are a lot more generous for instance my work gives 6 months full pay, 3 months statutory. Men get a rougher deal by far. They are guaranteed 2 weeks paternity leave and whilst you can split the parental leave the man isn't as likely to be paid for it. This needs to be addressed. If we can help sort out the disparity in who looks after the children then I think a lot of good will come of that. And from a personal point of view, I would have loved it if we could have afforded to switch primary care giving - I think my post natal depression wouldn't have been as brutal or as long if I could have gone back to work earlier. Mlle Zabzie: to your point re: working in the home not being seen as work. I didn't want to touch that with a barge pole but it's something that C4JS has hinted at previously in this thread i.e. he seems to not consider the work within a house to not be work because it's not paid for. And tbf, it's a pervasive attitude, I think. That if a woman is a SAHM she's sitting on the settee watching Jeremy Kyle and eating jam doughnuts and nothing goes into looking after children and running a house...
  10. Use of the term "Triggered"

    Ooh, forgot to reply to this To clarify a bit, the usage I'm noticing is mostly self-referential, as in "when you said _____, that triggered me", or something to that effect. There's almost never any explanation beyond that about what the result of said triggering is, but presumably it isn't suicide as these people seem to live on to whatever event triggers them next. Surely if someone said "speaking about war/rape/domestic violence, triggered me" it's plainly obvious what the problem is, no? And speaking from experience I could not have discussed with anyone anything about my experience that triggered me. So asking for an explanation even if you feel it's not a genuine reaction to trauma is probably not a nice thing to do.
  11. Use of the term "Triggered"

    Maybe so, but I tell ya, if someone has said that something upsets them I think it's OK to be considerate of that.
  12. Use of the term "Triggered"

    Triggering is quite a bit different from "something upset me". It can be a visceral reaction to something that takes you back to relieve a traumatic time in your life. Mostly it was around content warnings for rape or issues with veterans and PTSD. As an aside, I don't think it's up to anyone to diagnose someone else's cause of trauma.
  13. Feminism - Post-apocalypse version

    I agree with all of this. Especially around greater support from governments to assist in childcare. I'm not sure where you are from the but charges in the UK are just insane. Full time childcare from after maternity leave ends was approximately £1200 per month - now that's in London maybe it's cheaper elsewhere but fates alive it's eyewatering. But I think that maybe a tangent that doesn't belong here...
  14. Feminism - Post-apocalypse version

    conversely, I had my first and that's when my career kicked up a notch after maternity leave. And a few of my friends have gone back to work after the child has gone to full time school because they missed their career. so, y'know, different strokes. You called me out (not very nicely, it must be said) for using an anecdote before and now you're doing the same. Just an observation. (Aside: Also, not for nothing sometimes the cost of childcare is often prohibitive enough that going back to work just clear nursery fees by a couple hundred pounds per month can see a waste of time for some and because in hetero partnerships the man earns more (typically), it's the woman that drops the job or goes part time.)
  15. Feminism - Post-apocalypse version

    I'm not sure why its such a sore point to simply state that there are generalised differences between the sexes. Anyone who has lived more than 5 years on this planet will have noticed it anyway. Really? You can't understand it? Women have been told for a very long time that they couldn't do certain things because they were women. "You're just better at being nurturing because you're a woman", "Women just aren't as good as men at thinking logically, it's just the way they're wired". I guarantee you all women will have heard those at some point in their life and it's then backed up by the entirety of society saying it as well. So yeah, it's a sore point...