Lany Freelove Cassandra

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About Lany Freelove Cassandra

  • Rank
    Ridiculously Nasty
  • Birthday 12/28/1964

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    Moat Cailin

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  1. I really want to do this too, when I retire (5-10 acres). I also want solar and wind power While I don't think I could be totally self-sufficient (couldn't kill my own meat/poultry) I think I could get over 50% there, and that would be my goal.
  2. Thank you both very much! And thanks everyone else for being patient with me. I have one address still outstanding, but all others are out. I'll send a PM to the person without an address yet, then if you haven't gotten and address from me, let me know.
  3. I don't see that as a problem But I do understand what you mean. I honestly think the standard needs to be "at this place of employment" (not saying it has to happen AT work, just be relevant to the current job, not for something that may have happened at a past job) when it comes to regular people, but our government officials should be held to a higher ethical standard. We just had our top guy of the department that Capital Markets falls under (reports directly to the CEO) fired for "acting in a manner that was contrary to the company’s policies and its expectations of senior leaders during a communication he had with a former team member" we were all pretty shocked, but this kind of thing needs to happen more often
  4. It might not be, but many people assume that they are just interchangeable, which started the whole thing
  5. To quote myself: an expectation carries an implied threat if the expectation is not met, and in the case of power imbalances can be seen as a command. Always within my life time. Rape jokes have been a part of comedy for a very long time. I mentioned National Lampoon’s Animal House, you can google the “angel/devil dilemma scene” – it’s NSFW (1978) I can’t look up too many examples at work, but do have a few: 2012: Sam Morril: “My ex-girlfriend never made me wear a condom. That’s huge. She was on the pill.” Pause. “Ambien.” and Al Franken took that picture of him groping a sleeping woman AS A JOKE! There are 34 years between my examples, and I have no doubts that these things are isolated incidents. I have too many blocked sites at work though to list more That’s not a bad thing, though No, it is stupid ass people and judges who say things like “she never told him to stop” that require these rules. Having explicit verbal consent is not arbitrary. It goes back to the sex with an unconscious or incapacitated person. The law is designed to protect them. Having affirmative consent removes ambiguity and protect both parties. Since the law was the result of a massive study that showed more than 1 in 4 women on college campuses had been the victim of some kind of sexual assault, often occurring when they were very drunk or passed out, the law is not arbitrary, it is a direct response to horrifying situation
  6. I didn’t want to bog the other thread down (further) with a purely pedantic exercise, so I started this one. Needless to say, I am greatly bothered by the idea that a “hope” and an “expectation” can be used interchangeably. While the words might be listed as synonyms, they are such, in only the very broadest definition of the word: they have a “similar” meaning, at least as far as their definitions are concerned. Hope – a wish for the future Expectation – a belief about the future However, they fail the other requirements for synonyms – 1) they cannot be used interchangeably without changing the meaning and/or the tone of the sentence ; 2) switching them can cause syntax errors in some instances. I’ll start with some simple ones, book/movie titles: Star Wars: A New Expectation Great Hopes (which made me think of the next one) The Great White Expectation – seems rather appropriate Consider these two scenarios and tell me if the two sentences after them have the same meaning. I am of the belief that they most definitely do not. #1) A guy and a gal, who are just friends, are going to travel together and share a hotel room. The guys says to a male friend: “I hope she has sex with me.” or “I expect her to have sex with me.” (this is what I meant by a syntax error “I expect she has sex with me” is not correct grammar, but with “will have” instead of “has” can be found in colloquial usage for “believe” as in “Do you think it will rain tomorrow?” “I expect it will” - even here, just because he expects it will, doesn't mean he hopes that it will) #2) Kid enters middle school and mom lays out a new set of rules: 1. Do not bring any illegal drugs into this house. 2. Blah blah blah and so on. At the end she says: “I hope you follow these rules.” or “I expect you to follow these rules.” The difference in these examples should be quite obvious: the expectations carry with them an implied threat. I know I might over think things a bit sometimes, so I asked my 15 yr old son** first thing this morning while he was still in the mono-syllable grunting mode what he thought the difference was between the two sentences of the second scenario was and he said something that surprised me at first as I hadn’t actually thought of: “The second one is a command” then he added “and a threat.” I hadn’t actually thought of the “command” aspect of expectations (I think mainly because I was thinking in terms of equals, not in terms of power imbalances) but he is absolutely correct: an expectation of a person who has some sort of power over you, is a command. To sum it up in simple terms: a hope is a wish, light and airy like a dandelion puff; an expectation carries an implied threat if the expectation is not met, and in the case of power imbalances can be seen as a command. Discuss. (lol, I always hated that) **my son, much to my great disappointment, is not very intellectually inclined (not dumb, just not interested in learning for its own sake) – so it’s not like he’s one of those kids taking college courses in high school or something, he's not even in college prep courses, a B/C student when he tries a little He does have a lot of common sense---when I explained the nature of the discussion, he felt the idea of having an expectation of sex because you found someone attractive "stupid" and "likely to get [one's] ass kicked" for it. He also thought the "men's rights movement" was the stupidest thing he had ever heard. I love that kid.
  7. Why is it so hard to understand that EXPECTING sex is not the same thing as finding someone attractive? It is that EXPECTATION that is the betrayal, that perpetuates the rape culture, that makes it hard to trust. the concepts of violation are not being arbitrarily expanded. A woman passed out used to be thought of as fair game...and many comics and jokes were made about it (Lampoons Animal House just one more example). We were ignorant then. Society grows, it realizes it faults and it makes adjustments. We stop VICTIM BLAMING. We look at what consent means, and we understand what really is required to consent. These are not arbitrarily. Tell me one example of an arbitrarily expansion.
  8. I guess I just disagree with that. Actually, I disagree with both parts. A thought is "X looks hot in his tighty-whities" an expectation is "we're sharing bed, so she is going to have sex with me" the second doesn't leave room for a difference of opinion.
  9. Thank you all for your well thought out answers. eta: I got 14/15 on the quiz...didn't know what the 1st great awakening was so I guessed wrong
  10. So much this! Once I even shared a room with 3 guys - all platonic (which means I was sharing a bed with one of them). There's this thing called respect. I trusted all 3 of them implicitly. My most frequent roommate is someone who once was even a little attracted to me, but I have never once worried about so much as a creepy stare with him. Having desires and thoughts is NORMAL, acting like an ass because of them is simply a lack of control/caring/respect whichever you want to call it
  11. I apologize for not getting all the addresses out this weekend. My cat died Saturday and I really just couldn't face being on-line. I will work on it tonight
  12. The problem was it was just a bit of rocky outcrop, off a rocky shore, in the middle of no where. No place to store a boat, to launch from, to land it, no one close enough to borrow one from. The ship and little boat with a crew is an option, but then you have to tell people why you want to visit that little bit of rock and the secret is out. btw
  13. I'm sorry, but you say her story is true, but you are not going to feel as sorry for her because of what you believe to be her motives? As long as the story told is the truth, I don't give a fig about the motives behind telling. They do not take away from the facts at hand. Lots of people never told their story before, and some of the people telling now likely do have political motives, or maybe other motives we aren't aware of. Do you really think that not one of Moore's accusers had a political motive?
  14. I have often thought about this on a personal level. I know what emotional issues led to the decisions I made, and how wrong those decisions were for me in the long run. I would pick a different job when I joined the army. I would go into intelligence from the start, not transfer later in my career. the biggest thing that would be different is I would not have met my 1st husband, and that is ok. I picked a man (men really, as #2 is the same) that held the values I thought I was supposed to have, not one who understood me and my values. I didn't learn acceptance of myself until so much later in life. I don't think there would be anything more than minor ripples in the world at large. Other than the husbands, the 2 other people who would be greatly affected by this decision are my nephews, as I would have kept them.
  15. I’m glad this thread has been necromanced. I was thinking about religion the other day (and politics) and with all the different sects of Christianity, is there a core list of beliefs/values that they share? While I wasn’t raised in any one church I had a lot of exposure to several different ones including Catholic, Mormon, and several various Protestants, so I have an idea of what I believe the core beliefs/values are, I just don’t know if practicing Christians agree with me. 1) Jesus Christ is the literal son of God 2) That Jesus died for our sins, and made it possible for man to enter heaven (Easter story) 3) The followers of Jesus should live their lives as he did It’s the 3rd one I am wondering about. Is this a belief among all Christians? Am I mis-remembering it? I admit 90% of the time I went to church was just to accompany friends, so I can’t say I was paying all that much attention, but somehow this has always been in my mind. To me it was first and foremost what made a person a Christian. This view has been reinforced by incidents like people hugging me and telling me I was a good Christian for doing a good deed. You hear stuff like “this is a Christian Nation” all the time, and I can’t help but wonder what it means to be a Christian, and is it something different for those of different sects. I’m also aware that there is a lot more to it than these 3 simple things, but if there are others that everyone agrees with, I’d like to add them to my list. If #3 is agreed as part of the core belief, what are the things Jesus did that should be emulated? When I think of Jesus, what comes to mind are things like kindness, sympathy, mercy, forgiveness, non-judgmental, teaching (the word of God) and helping those in need (whether it’s food or healing or whatever). There are probably more, but like I said, I’ve never really studied it, these are just my outsider’s observations. (full disclosure: with this as my view of what it means to be a Christian, what I was actually thinking about was how those views were or were not compatible with certain political views. I'm not going to use this against anyone I just like knowing things and thinking about them (total daily commute is nearly 1.5 hrs). (ok, I will totally call people hypocrites in my mind, I'm rather judgmental like that)