Rockroi

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  1. So, another week down and I could discuss a lot but I want to explain something that happened in the Pats game and then compare it to a near identical situation in another game. And it’s a perfect encapsulation as to why the Pats could have every player on an HGH cocktail powered by jet fuel and alligator sperm while its QB threw underinflated footballs while its head coach used CIA drones to tape every other team and that WOULD STILL not be NEARLY the competitive advantage the Pats have in shear competency. In the Pats game, NE was driving on the Saints after the two-minute warning, up 27-13. This was a big lead but not an insurmountable one. With 21 seconds left, 3rd and 9, no time outs, the Pats were on the Saints 17 and called for a pass play. Brady was flushed from the pocket and was tackled at the Saints 10. Now 4th down, the clock at THIRTEEN SECONDS, the Pats could not clock the ball with a spike and could not call TO. Immediately Brady starts running for the side lines as the coaches and some players start yelling “MAY DAY!!!” This is the code word for a rushed FG. Immediately, as the clock ticks down, the offense rushed OFF the field while the FG unit rushes ON the field. Some players stay, but most switch. Miraculously, the Pats line-up 11 players, get them set, avoid any illegal shifts or off-sides or illegal procedures while they simultaneously get off the remaining offensive players and successfully kick a quick 28-yard field goal. With no time left. Was that the difference maker in the game? No- Pats dominated from back to front. But it DID get the Pats a quick score to break up the half, keep the momentum etc. But the real lesson was that the Pats have their collective shit together; that they can execute fast, on the fly and do it with precision, on the road, and do it flawlessly. Now, most teams can do this, right? WELL… in a game played on the other side of the country but might as well have been played on another planet, two teams managed to hate-fuck the game of football for nearly 60 minutes. The criminally incompetent LA Chargers were still in the game because the Miami Dolphins employed something called “Jay Cutler.” Anyway, in a game that was played with moderate competency enough to not want to make every fan of both teams jump into a respective ocean near their homes, the Chargers were driving with less than a minute to go, down by two with Miami barely hanging onto a lead. The Chargers had already blown through 2 of their timeouts when they, inexplicably, blew their last TO when they EASILY could have clocked the ball. Whatever. The next play Rivers runs a meaningless dive into the center of the line to try to line up the FG. But here is the problem- the Chargers have NO time outs. So LA starts running their FG unit ON the field as … NOBODY starts running off it. So you have 12… 13… fuck it 28 Chargers were on that fucking field. And the clock is ticking ticking ticking and ticking because NOBODY BOTHERED TO EVER PRACTICE THIS! And nobody bothered to MENTION DURING THE PRIOR TIMEOUT THAT RIVERS MAY DIVE INTO THE CENTER OF THE LINE AND MAYBE - JUST FUCKING MAYBE - THE FG AND OFFENSE MAY NEED TO SWITCH PLACES!!! So the clock runs mercilessly down and down and down and nobody on the Chargers has any fucking idea how to kick a field goal or evacuate the offense. So, end of game due to severe incompetency, right? WRONG! Because as this monstrosity is going on somebody must have said “There is no team more incompetent than the Chargers.” And in fucking unison the Miami Dolphins asked all NFL fans “Hold my beer.” Because the Dolphins called Time Out. Why? FUCK IF I KNOW!!! The Dolphins bailed out the Chargers because the Dolphins needed to win the battle of “Who Can Fuck Up a Last Second Field Goal” pool! Because Miami called a TO that meant the Chargers could carefully and EASILY line up to kick a long FG. No rushing, no fast substitutions, nothing but a simple normal FG because the other team fucked up and SAVED YOU FROM YOUR AMAZING FUCK UP! The Chargers then immediately miss the FG. Because of course they did. How many teams in the NFL do you think can run that sort of fast drill to kick a quick, half-ending FG? The Pats are one. Is there another team you trust to do that? Anyway a few other quick thoughts: - Just quickly on the Pats: dominated a team that could have given them problems but the Pats are ahead of most teams. The Saints D is poop and Brady destroys those teams. The Saints O played okay but I think they should have done better against a depleted Pats D. Also, the Pats are rapidly approaching “snake bit” territory with injuries. At one point, they LITERALLY had no WRs to put on the field. - Dallas and GB just got destroyed by two teams they should have hung with. - Atlanta looks desperately for real and that’s frightening. Also, surprise that the best division so far is the AFC West as Oakland, Denver and KC are all 2-0 and all look fearsome. - Somebody fire Marvin Lewis, - I feel bad for Jacoby Brisett who started the game, played okay and then fucked his team in OT with a game-killing INT. Sorry about all that, Indy but it all sucks. - I am fairly certain Seattle sucks. That line sucks, Wilson looks hapless and the D may be at the end of their rope. They are frustrated for having to cover for a wilting Offense. And their discipline is leaving a lot to be desired. And they won, but they BARELY beat SF. So that’s almost like losing. I think for the first time in 4 seasons, I am not afraid of the Seahawks. - The Bears blow. - Fuck the Jets. Pats need to put a few together to get the taste of KC out of their mouths.
  2. Not my boldest prediction, but Marv Lewis will be the first NFL coach fired and it will be during the season. The Bengals are terrible. They had a home game against a rookie QB with a relatively healthy team. And the Bengals sucked. Out loud. 4-15 on 3rd down (same as the Texans, though); punted 7 times, had no dangerous drives; Dalton played... fine, I guess but he never was in danger of taking over the game or putting the Benagls on his proverbial shoulders. Lewis looks cooked. I can't imagine that he can do anything to fix this team. Maybe I'm being too harsh; after all almost every team in the NFL looks bad right now. Maybe the biggest story out of this week has been how poor the play has seemed (though that could be an appearance and not a reality). But watching the Bengals just look like everything was so hard while the D played with earnest futility was no real fun.
  3. That's my understanding; I thought that since that Rams loss during the regular season, no team was playing better football. I believe that was giving that D time to gel. I don't know how "idiotic" the penalties were. I think the Chiefs were doing whatever it took to win and, basically, were committing all those penalties under the assumption that the refs could not keep up (ie the "Ravens" strategy). I am not complaining, mind you- Pats got dinged with a few penalties as well and it was deserved. I just think the Chiefs were out there doing what they had to.
  4. I thought I had but I must have missed that part. But I also wanted to bring up the 2001 team which - although it improved down the stretch- was by-in-large not a great defensive team.
  5. I'm not sure how you get to be CALLED a "Rocket Scientist, but Patricia has a Bachelor of Science degree in aeronautical engineering from Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute and was an Application Engineer for two years, Hoffman Air & Filtration Systems, East Syracuse, N.Y. while I think calling him a "rocket scientist" is an exaggeration, he is a pretty smart guy. This is not always true. I have done this discussion many times, but there have been historically awful Pats defenses, most notably 2011 where the Pats finished last in DVOA Defense and still made it to the Superbowl; 2013 they were 21st (not the worst, but not above average either) and made it to the AFC Championship. Even in years where the Pats won it all - 2001 and 2014 - the Pats had INCREDIBLY MEDIOCRE defenses; in 2001 they were ranked 19th in DVOA and in 2014 ranked 16th. I'm not saying the Pats always had terrible D's, but they have had about as many bad defenses as most other teams.
  6. I honestly think that the silver-lining to all this is that I will not have to put up the the 19-0 talk which is insufferable. The fact that nimrods were talking like that since March is a sign of how much that relief was necessary. Quick aside: its been a long while since I hosted a Pats season opener at my home. I was excited. Got the wings, the salsa, the beer. Super happy my friends showed with more beer. Lots of fun. And then the Pats shit the bed. And I recalled- for not the first time this evening - when was the LAST time I hosted a Patriots season opener... okay, maybe like 10-ish years ago... at home.... against the Chiefs... wait... The last game I hosted a Pats game- OF ANY KIND - was the 2008 season opener... the one where Brady was KO'd for the season by the Chiefs. So... yeah... we ... we won't be doing that again... So... I watched the game and I have some theories. Yeah, sure injuries were a factor, but I think the larger issue on that was not JUST injuries but the fact that so many of the current Pats roster were not Pats last season. So many vets are gone and the guys that are here are not 100% certain what their job is. When you add in the losses of Edleman (3rd pre-season game), Amendola and especially Hightower you can see why so many players could seem so lost so quickly. But I don't buy that injuries were the deciding factor. If there was one thing that I saw in this game - more than ANYTHING else - was that nobody on the Ptas side of the ball "stepped up" and tried to make the impact needed to take control of the game. The first culprit of this was Brady- he kept throwing- one could say "OVERthrowing - down field to covered receivers. He was not doing anything underneath, not hitting anyone consistently. The next was Gronk. He seemed like he was running in pudding; he got NO separation from Berry and never pushed through to the second level. Ever. Even when Brady got him the ball, Berry was usually all over him. After that was Gilmore and Butler- the two DBs. Gilmore generally played okay, but he gave up a HUGE play; Butler got lost on a TD that capped a 90+ yard drive and had a back-breaking PI call. The D-line seemed listless; the LBs lost after Hightower went down; the O-line could not push forward on two critical 4th downs. None of the Pats RBs ever got enough momentum to take control of the game. Cooks was used in limited situations and never got into a groove. And things looked good, after Hunt fumbled his first NFL carry (NOTE: One of the mitigating factors in on this day is that I have Hunt on my fantasy team) I HAD to think that the Pats had this thing locked up. Only to discover that Hunt had 239 yards from scrimmage, 3 TDs and Alex Smith- yes THAT Alex Smith - hung 350+ yards on the Pats and FOUR TDs. Smith only had 5 300 yard passing games before this ... in his entire career. The Pats fell apart in the face of - not a great team - but a perfectly good but not great team. Just a team that knew how to play and avoided major mistakes. Is that really the team that has the Pats' number? The one that players ... adequately? And the injuries are not something you like to see pile up ... especially the first game of the season. Hightower is one of 3 players on D the Pats cannot afford to lose and they lost him in the 3rd. Amendola was the Pats leading receiver- lost him by the 4th. Losing Edleman was bad enough, but now the team seems patched together and its week 1. I hope whenever Gronk finally comes back the team can come back together. With all that said the Pats have one silver lining - they have time to fix this. The Pats are likely going to get the AFC East no matter what. They have time to bring players into the fold- Cooks and Brady can get together on the same page; Gillisslee showed flashes of talent; Gilmore had a handful of good plays; Branch got good push up the middle. The Pats will likely bounce back and if they do it well, the season could still go great places. Or it could mean just how close to the end we all are...
  7. So, the season finales are never really that great; the "real" season ending episode is usually the penultimate season's episode and this week was sort of similar. A lot to like, some things to love but, let's be honest, not much has changed. I mean, look at it this way- if this had been the FOURTH episode of a regular ten-episode season, I don't think we lose much. I mean, the first few episodes do The Jaime thing at Highgarden; do Jon at Dragonstone; then somehow get a dragon wight and BOOM- you have the same experience. Anyway I liked... The Lannisters: Tyrion, Jaime and Cersei, as Usual: As a general rule, I like most scenes with a Lannisters because they have to be interesting; Starks get to be Nice and Dany gets to have Dragons, but Lannisters have to actually be interesting without either fan-fav status or ... again, Dragons. And while Dany + Jon is about as compelling as watching two mannequins in a Macy's window, Cersei and Jaime has energy and style. The two love and hate each other with so much dedication and desire. Nikolai is incredible- he is both this dynamic leader but also this war-weary veteran. I AM STUNNED he was not killed by Cersei. How did he know she was bluffing? What a complete character and the actor to boot. I think Tyrion spoils us; Dinklige is perfect and the writing for Tyrion ranges from "good" to "legendary." This week was "very good" with that great line "You may try lying..." So when he merely sticks at "very good" we, somehow, feel cheated. Tyrion's dialog with Cersei was raw, emotional and very true to rights. Further, I think Tyrion IS playing both sides to all of this. I THINK he promised Cersei that if she backed Dany, Cersei's child would inherit the crown after Dany as Dany cannot have any heirs. That's why he was so weird when he heard Dany and Jon doing the nasty (in probably the most boring orgasm yelps you ever heard). And at the center of all that is Cersei, the best horrible person in Westeros. What a fucking awesome bitch. I fucking love hating her. She is 100000000% right - she has ABSOLUTELY NO INCENTIVE to assist Dany and Jon and she was PERFECTLY JUSTIFIED in requiring the King in the North stay out of any further fighting. It was a deft move. The fact that Jon Snow was not having it does not diminish her smart work on this. Then - like I said - I think Tyrion promised the future throne to Cersei's offspring. But who knows. Regardless I think Cersei is doing a lot more than anyone expected. Also, even if it was an act, I thought her reaction to the Zombie was completely realistic and justified. I actually think she THOUGHT about doing the right thing given this ... thing. The Tone: I thought that the overall pace and focus of the episode was great. I genuinely felt the weight of these decisions and I thought that everything these folks was doing was very important and extremely thought-provoking. I WILL say that much of it felt all too easy and maybe just a bit of a chore to move through. But overall, I thought it worked as a great finish to a monstrously uneven season. A Dragon of Fire-Ice: Fuck it- I liked that last scene. It was fucking great. Enjoyed it all. On the Fence: They Call Me Theon the Cockless: That whole scene... meh... just punch him someplace else. Also, pretty sure you still have nerve endings down there. I just thought that this scene which was supposed to be incredibly important and character defining felt hollow and lame. The Wooden Royalty: I feel ABSOLUTELY no chemistry between Dany and Jon. NONE. I can't believe that these two character favorites inspire ABSOLUTELY NOTHING in the fan-base. Part of me think its the writing - the writers have pushed the speed to 11 so the quality is hovering right around 4, so they could not lay the foundation of the two main characters' attraction, but another part of me thinks... maybe... just MAYBE ... Harrington and Emilia Clark... just ... aren't very good actors. They are bringing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to the table. Now, Harrington was GREAT with Rose Leslie (Ygritte), but she was a legit actress. There is a greater-than-zero-percent chance Clark is a bad actress. Oh, and that so is Harington. Now, I will say that there is still a chance they prove me wrong but ... they feel so wooden I half expect Stannis to try to burn them. The Ease of the Surveillance State: So... Bran is just basically the Office of Homeland Security, right? He's NIS and the CIA combined into some ungodly vision machine? He sees everything, right? So... is that somehow interesting? Because it feels SUPER boring, uninspired and lame (no... no pun intended). Now, I will say I LIKED that he brought us back to Lyanna and Rhaegar's wedding to state once-and-for-all that Robert was a jerkface and Rhaegar was not a horrible rapist. But I hope in the books (tentative release date: 201never) its handled better with Howland Reed and not some strange super-computer. What I Did Not Like: The Most Cunning Plan EVERYONE SAW COMING 1000 MILES AWAY!!!: God the writing sucks. Sansa and Arya hatched a plan- literally - everyone saw coming. I said two weeks ago that we will come to know that Arya knew about the letter Littlefinger planted the whole time and that was - essentially - confirmed as Arya and Sansa were somehow able to lay a trap anyone could see coming... anyone except the master of traps who we have all come to respect for 7 seasons... no.. that guy- suddenly oblivious. The only way that scene could have been any more obvious would have been if Dany tried to hatch it. I DID sort of like how the two came toigether... but come on? That was the ONLY way that scene could have played out. Also... remember when Arya used to be fun? Why is it every time she talks now, its like reading the casualty reports from Nam? There is no joy to her anymore. And the scenes she has are taken wayyyyyy too seriously. Loosen the fuck up! Even for a minute! Tell a joke! Smile! Make me not want to slit my wrists! ANYTHING! So, overall, a solid episode that did the yeoman work the season lacked to this point. This episode made up for what the other ones lacked. But the season was woefully uneven. It went too slow and then too fast. Hated the laziness and haphazard way of story-telling and disliked how the show seemed to stumble on where it needed to be- that it got there regardless of how unrealistic GETTING THERE was. Can't say it was as bad as season 5, but nowhere near season 3 or 4 and not even as good as 6, which was pretty mediocre. Overall season: C+ and I am being generous.
  8. So, I don’t have a general breakdown of this episode because it was a very narrow episode overall. So only so much to talk about: The Battle Beyond the Wall: The Journey and the Battle This is broken down into two parts- the trip up to find the Zombie and the battle on the frozen lake. I really liked both parts to a degree, but overall felt that this was such a sloppy and stale story-line overall. I loved the journey; the characters talking back and forth; their sort of “band of brothers” fusing. I liked all that and I liked that the characters each stayed true to themselves AND interesting. Its natural for Jorah to want t talk about his father and Jon about his. I thought that while Gendry was- predictably – underutilized, I liked his interplay with the Hound etc. And Tormond is fucking gold. And I liked the detailing heading to the final battle. The final battle itself was intense. Great fighting, exceptional back and forth; good sense of dread; that anyone would die at any time. But … again, how long did it take the group to make it to the battle cite? How long did it take Gendry to run backl to the Wall? Then, how long did it take the MW to get a message out to Dany? Then how long did it take Dany to FLY from Dragonstone to the Wall? Then how long did it take Dany to FIND where they were in the vast North? Apparently something like 8 hours. To me, that’s just sloppy. Its convenient. Again, think about Baelor. Imagine if in that scene, just as Ned was being lowered to the block, a horn called out and somebody yelled, “There is Stark Army at our gates!!!!” That’s almost exactly what happened here with Dany and her Dragons. They showed up at the exact time to make maximum impact, to deliver the most fan service as possible. Now, to be fair, I LIKED seeing all three dragons unleashing holy hell on the Walkers, but the Space-time PHYSICS involved are HIGHLY questionable. Oh, and the entire plan itself was fucking stupid. Have Dany fly and see the Zombies. Done. The Aftermath So, a dragon died. Which one? Who knows! The show never developed either dragon after Drogon. But a dragon was killed. Quickly. Again, I see the sloppiness – the show has a guy throw a javelin and it instantly kills a dragon. Why? Because they need to. Regardless, Dany is now one dragon. And Dany seems FAR MORE broken up by almost losing Jon Snow than losing her dragon. Its REALLY fucking weird. But it’s a minor quibble. Love Zombie Dragon. But … really… how does a blacksmith who has never been to the North make it back to the Wall so quickly? Dany and Tyrion: Great. Loved it. Dany continues to seem both focused and DANGEROUSLY UNHINGED! Tyrion gave excellent advice, showed her why she was not working with him properly, and then he decided to challenge him, which is her MO. I think the show has done well in making it that Dany has SERIOUS trust issues. And the later scene- where Dany decides to go to the Wall – Tyrion is making perfect sense, but Dany has EXCELLET reasons to go there. I like watching them interact and work with each other, even when they disagree. Arya and Sansa: What. The. Fuck. Is. Going. On?: What a waste. What a wasteful, garbage story-line. The conflict is forced; it makes no sense and both characters take the narrowest and least reasonable view of the situation. Arya is acting like a psychopath; she talks like one, she feels like one and she is super creepy. Why? Well, somebody would say, “Its because she is loyal to Jon?” Really? Why? Okay, YEARS ago she loved Jon but she has since been reunited with Sansa and Bran and she has NO feelings for them. Also, for somebody that wants the Lannisters dead, Arya does not seem to see how VALUABLE Sansa is right now. Sansa is doing a great job of running the North and she is keeping the Eerie loyal. She is doing exceptional work and keeping the North Strong… something Starks have been fucking up for close to 30 years. So, to Arya, is it more important to her to kill/bother Sansa and potentially imperil the entire North. Including, Mr. Perfect, Jon Snow. Basically, she seems like she is just taking her actions because she hates Sansa. And that is boring. But it gets worse. Why did Sansa send Brienne away? Brienne is the ONLY person in the seven kingdoms who can sword fight with a 12-year-old. I CAN’T BELIEVE THAT IS WHERE WE ARE! But why would Sansa send Brienne away? Why not go herself to get away from Creepy McGuillicutty? But you don’t send the person YOUW ERE JUST TOLD WOULD ALWAYS PROTECT YOU away from the person who will likely murder you. I DID have a special theory- namely that when Sansa sent Brienne away… because she wasn’t Sansa; but that Arya had “taken her face” and done it after she learned that LF and Sansa had decided to keep Brienne so close. But I THINK you must KILL somebody before you can take their face. But not certain on that. Anyway, while I liked parts of the episode and the final fight was Dragon-tacular… its so obviously being rushed, it may be immediately pleasurable, but in hind-sight its not a good use of our energies. In a way, Game of Thrones is McDonalds fast food; its quick, its cheap, it gives immediately satisfaction, but when you break it all down you know what you just had wasn't actually good.
  9. I think I need to be clear that you can only take somebody's face if they are dead. Has there been an example of Arya - or anyone else - talking somebody's face BEFORE they are dead? If NOT then my theory is DOA. Thank you for clearing that up.
  10. Ah... I got a COMPLETELY different vibe from those scenes... MY theory is that in the scene with Sansa and LF, ARYA was LF. And in the scene with Sansa and Brienne, Arya was SANSA. So, Arya has doubts about this whole thing. In the scene between Arya and Sansa when Arya first reads the letter she gets some insight into Sansa but she needs to get more. So she knows that Sansa will call for LF. So, she gets a face and BECOMES LF. During that scene, "LF" mentions anything specific, even stating he does not know where Arya got the letter. The reason I think Arya took LF's face was so that she could get some insight into Sansa. She also knows that if she WERE to kill Sansa, Brienne may intervene. So "LF" mentions sending Brienne away to see how Sansa would react. Sansa seems to mull it over. So, at this point, Arya decides to take action, she takes SANSA's face, gets a message (that she immediately burns... how convenient) and tells Brienne to leave. In that scene, I think THAT was Arya taking Sansa's face, getting rid of the only person Arya believes could PHYSICALLY protect Sansa. So, yeah, it was all Arya.
  11. I think I would have liked the episode better had Dondarion said “The reason e are all here is because of the Red God’s desire for convenient plot devices!” In fact, the show should just change its name to “Game of Plot Devices.” It would make a lot more sense. Anyway… What I liked: Jaime of the Kingsguard: Jaime Lannister was the most raw and honest character this week; he shed his pretentious skin and relied on obvious honesty. The dragons make it impossible for Cersei to win or for Dany to lose. He expresses his frustration with what is going on with Cersei and what he is saying is 100% true. Also, he has every right to be mad at Tyrion for killing their father and he expressed that too. I think Nikolai is killing it as Jaime and the weight of Jaime’s struggle is weighing on him. It shows. I think that of all the characters, Jaime has suffered the most since Dany’s landing. Tyrion v. Dany: The Struggle is Real. What I mean by this is the show has done (and I cannot believe I am saying this) a fantastic job of keeping Dany’s sanity up in the air. She is wise, yet inconsistent; she is understanding, yet supremely arrogant; she listens… then she doesn’t to her wise counselors; and she is really making it hard on those around her o trust or mistrust her. Also, she is burning people alive. With good reason? Ah… m-maybe? So enter Tyrion Lannister who is now suffering from the same trials that other King’s Hands have had in the past when serving Targaryen monarchs- he has to balance what is best with what the queen may do. He also- justifiably – must either explain away her behavior or be left with the uncomfortable realization that she’s, you know, nuts. Tyrion is desperately uncertain on what he is doing, but the show has hammered out Tyrion’s humanity so well that we feel and see his struggle- we relate to him. And because Tyrion is smart, he can give good advice. This is compelling and important part of the story. And dare I say it, it’s being done well. Davos, Bronn, Mormont: Second-Level Characters of the Show UNITE!: When the show does not take itself too seriously, it pays off HUGE. Davos is a clear example of this; his relationship now with Gendry, his reluctance to do certain things, his honesty. Bronn, meanwhile is a subtle mix of decency and viciousness; a man out for his own best interests and protecting those who he serves. And then there is Prince Charming, Mormont who constantly makes me think that he may be James Bond. Great characters, great actors. Davos, Bronn and Mormont are what GoT used to be all about. What I am on the Fence About: Samwell Tarley, Breaker of Spoliers: I get that Sam is a bit preoccupied now, but there was an annulment between Rahegar and his Wife so he could marry Lyanna Stark…and we find out about it in the same way we would a telegram about the kids making the tee-ball team. I mean this was a moment that should have SOME context. Instead, nothing. Also, nobody before read this ancient script... from like 17 years ago? I mean, nobody else was interested in the final days of a destroyed monarchy and may have stumbled upon the last acts of a gloriously loved Crown Prince? No? Well, at least we know Rhaegar wasn't a filthy rapist. Right? What I Didn’t Like The Nearly Satisfactory Seven: Okay so you wanted to get some of the cool kids together so you could make a semi-decent end-of-season adventure beyond the wall. O…o-kay? I guess. But … HOLY SHIT WHY?!?!?! I mean, it seems cool, but … WHY? For starters, you RAM ROD DOWN OUR THROATS the most egregious examples of plot devices ever in a show. Fifteen minutes ago, Gendry is a blacksmith in KL- NOW He’s …. beyond the Wall? What? And he’s going with the Hound? And the Brotherhood Without Banners? Why are they all doing this? Why did they all agree? We are all cool with this… why? It seems so disparate; so crazy; and out of whack. Whya re they all going to agree to do… wait what are they doing again? Okay, so, in the STUPIDEST THING I HAVE EVER HEARD, Jon, Gendry, Bedric, that Red Priest Who I Don’t Give a Shit About, the Hound, Mormont and Tormur, are going beyond the Wall to (sweet merciful Mother of Christ) get a right/White Walker/dead thing to… bring back to Cersei to convince her that they are real? WHY????!?!?!? Cersei is done! She has no army; no political houses supporting her; no supplies. She has money and a Navy. Both burn with Dragon Fire. SERIOSULY! Why are we trying to win over Cersei Lannister? She cannot do anything? There is nobody in Highgarden; nobody in Dorne, Nobody in Casterly Rock, Nobody in the Riverlands, Nobody at Storm’s End. LITERALLY, 5 opf the Seven Kingdoms are empty! She has no army to field and no political favors to call in; no households to win over. Meanwhile, Jon has the Errie, the North and the Free Folk; Dany has Three Dragons and, apparently, the greatest army ever assembled ever in the Dothrakai (because … reasons???). WHY.ARE.YOU.DOING.THIS? Why not just stay home and starve her out? Or, why not defeat the Army in the North with the Dragon Glass, the Wall and … wait for it … three dragons? This makes sense… none of this makes any sense… And again, the fact that all these characters JUST HAPPENED to get here, now, at this point to go over the Wall is … so…so…silly. So forced. Much like this season suddenly, can we just get this over with? Grand Master Arya Stark of the Jedi Order: So, Arya is a Jedi now. She is a better sword fighter than Brienne; a better schemer than Littlefinger and a better player in the Game of Thrones then her sister, a woman who trained under the truest masters for like 5 years. But no… no, now Arya knows it all. Again, her training seems vague on specifics- sure I can understand how she’s a slightly better fighter as she had to do some of it blind, and yeah, I GUESS she can read people because taking people’s faces requires some understanding of them (ie: magic). But she’s insufferable at this point. She is talking down to Sansa because Sansa is … holding the North together? Because she is keeping her shaky alliance of Errie and Winterfell in-tact? Because she is staying in her parent’s old room? Could she not like the other room so much because that’s where the rapes happened? I don’t even know anymore. Arya is grating on me with every episode. She is unstoppable, always right and good at everything. Why is she in Sansa’s grill? You think that leading Northern rebellion is easy? Here, Nobody- YOU TRY IT! Let’s see how you do with LF whispering at you, the Eerie needling you and the North yelling at you! No… really- show me your wiles at this game. The writes, knowing them, would let her. Prediction: Arya knows LF planted the note for her to find and will, masterfully, turn the tables on him. Because that’s what we want. Apparently. Everything At the Citadel: Why Do You Suck? For starters, they are just annoying. But really, it’s because they don’t make a lick of sense. Why NOT tell Sam his Father is dead? But worse, why is the Citadel being so purposely obtuse? Sam is talking sense- he cured greyscale; he was correct about the Dragonglass, and he has proof of what he saw beyond the wall. So what does Broadbent do? Why he floats a TOTALLY UNSUBSTANTIATED CONSPIRACY THEORY! Why? FUCK IF WE KNOW?? I hate this scene for a bunch of reasons, and one major one is that next week would could all just discover that it was all, somehow, a clever ruse by Broadbent to keep this all under wraps… yadda… yadda… yadda. But the major reason? It makes smart, learned people look like fucking nitwit assholes. It takes the ONLY bookish intelligent people on the face of Westeroes and makes them look as dumb as ignorant peasants. Why do this to intelligent people? The Citadel are the stand-ins for the scientists of Westeroes; and a major component of scientists is intellectual curiosity. Aren’t ANY of these assholes curious about the Wall? The Dragons? The issues that they, through intellect, could resolve or at the very least clarify for the leaders willing to listen? Why is the Citadel as backwards as if they were as religion? The answer: to advance the plot through stupidity instead of intelligent story-telling. Overall, a disappointing episode that was filled with plot holes and contrived developments. Ho-hum.
  12. Ohhhhh... good point. In all seriousness, that's a legitimately good point.
  13. I have always believed that Kaep not being signed to a NFL roster was probably a mixture of "Don't need the attention" with "He's not that good." Two days ago the Miami Dolphins signed Jay Cutler as their starting QB. So, yeah, the NFL owners are just racist scumbags. They changed me on this issue completely. Good job, fucktards.
  14. I think Jaime was incredible this episode; excellent military acumen combined with true emotional turmoil watching men burned by Targaryen flames; something Jaime had spent his life trying to prevent. But I have a question: Does Jaime owe a duty to the realm to surrender? Or more accurately, does he owe a duty to Cersei to advise surrender? There can be little doubt that the Westeros armies are completely incapable of resisting one dragon, let alone three. If Dragons simply flew- and did nothing else - they would be an invaluable scouting and recon tool which would give any army a decisive advantage. However, as a weapon, a dragon is several factors of power greater than even the most powerful armaments in Westeroes. Dragons are heavily armored to the point where they can absorb an accurate scorpion strike and not fall out of the sky; they are extremely fast and mobile and ... yes, there is the dispositive ability to shoot fire, thus having an exceptional "spread kill zone" for any enemy. To wit, a dragon is a flying, heavily armored, reusable, nuclear weapon. And the Lannisters have guys with shields. Even if they only moderately coordinate with ground troops, they render nearly every opposing army obsolete. Therefore, every time an army takes the field against the Dragons those men are, in effect, already dead. I think Jaime- who has now been the first Westerosi Lord in 150+ years to face a dragon in battle - has now seen how ludicrously powerful these things are- the last Lannister army was just eradicated by one -- not three, but ONE dragon. How can House Lannister stand against three dragons when their greatest victories are Blackwater, the Red Wedding and Highgarden - each victory of the "OHMYGODLOOKOUTBEHINDYOU" sucker-punch variety? Cersei's war-footing is now entirely untenable. While its great that she has vanquished her enemies, she has not engendered any available allies. Therefore, every man she sends into the field, alone, has almost no chance of surviving the war. That means every life lost is a life utterly wasted. I think Jaime would advise surrender; because he has already advised surrender in the past- only it was to Aerys to surrender to Tywin. Jaime has seen the awesome power that no Westeros Army has a chance against. If Jaime is truly there to protect Cersei, isn't he obligated to advise her to surrender?
  15. You are not being judgmental; you are merely explaining factual observations in a cogent and simple manner. You will likely be banned from the boards within the hour.