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About Toth

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  1. Mmh... the one I'd bring forward certainly doesn't (clearly) fall into the category of utterly unlikeable, given that I worship the ground she walks on, but she is still the most despicable character I ever got the blessing of reading of: Erika Furudo from Umineko When they Cry. What do you guys think a true Self Insert Mary Sue looks like? In that she's a young girl in a frilly dress with improbable hair-colour violently inserted into an already existing detective story to literally steal away the protagonist status (including the first person narration!) from the actual protagonist, only to then prance around like an insufferable bitch smacktalking all the characters and treat them like shit and to still be praised for her cleverness and good manners. Of course she's regarded as a brilliant detective far superior to everyone else, and she knows is it and revels in the attention. Everywhere she goes, like Jessica Fletcher, murders just so happen for her to solve, causing her to treat everyone around her as possible suspects even before any murder happen, going around gleefully awaiting the case to start and thus creeping everyone out. And then there's the fact that the Fourth Wall doesn't exist for her. She knows she is in a detective story and she knows all the tropes associated with them, and doesn't shy away to abuse them to her heart's content, even before she starts to make it a point to derail the story in order to screw with the writer. And the lengths she is going in order to win... holy fucking hell! My favourite scene was still this one in the sixth novel: Like... goddamn it... It's one hell of a twisted character when in a story about a mass murder, the killer ends up more sympathetic than this psychopath of a detective. And she's so gloriously over-the-top that at least I can't help but find her amazing, especially in the ways she just merges all Mary Sue tropes and twists them to their logical conclusion.
  2. Bloody hells. For the first time in ages I got a tangible dream and it was an odd one at that: I was beginning a lesson in class and when I was checking the attendance, I noticed that there was one more student in the classroom than scheduled. So I went through my list and checked every single face until I found the one that didn't belong to the class, but the moment I opened my mouth to ask where he came from, the kid just vanished as if he was a ghost and everyone else wondered with whom I was talking with. Confused I checked the number of students again. And again something was off. So I went through the rows of seats once again and this time I found a girl not belonging to the class. Once again I asked what she's doing here and once again she vanished, with everyone else mumbling whether I have gone crazy. Slightly freaked out I checked the attendance a third time and this whole ghost student thing happened a third time again and then I woke up. I'm slightly puzzled what my subconscious is trying to tell me. After the dream I noticed that this was essentially a far less murderous version of the plot of 'Another'. So shall I watch that show now or will it become doubly creepy now?
  3. For a change I'm not gonna complain about my own issues, well outside of a certain sense of helplessness in how to be of the most use. Here's what happened: Yesterday I sat down and made up plans how to address the issues of my most difficult students. It is my last month before I quit my job as a study lab tutor and yet I had gotten quite a number of new students at the moment. And as if to mirror the current global climate, I noticed that among them were as many cases of children with depression symptoms as I had never had before. In fact, before that in nearly 5 years of work there I only once dealt with a boy who was struck with depression, but now among only 26 students there are four cases. One of them deals with it the same way I usually do when life takes a shit on me: By throwing herself relentlessly into work until she collapses. At least there I can relate to with my own experiences and give some encouragement. It's the other three cases where I am extremely worried about. Thing is, they just freeze up most of the time, are totally lethargic and not responsive at all. When I take my time to talk with them alone, I get barely anything out of them when it comes to what their issues are and how to build up their confidence. Okay, in one case I am fairly certain it's related to bullying, but since I am not a teacher at her school, I can't tackle the problem at its root. The two other cases however... I am at a total loss at what to do and end up fearing for their health. Except those attempts at talking about this with them themselves, I only informed the studio administration and hope it can be brought to the attention of the parents this way. I'm also thinking about asking the little sister of one of those cases to be a bit more attentive to her, but given how hostile they are to each other most of the time and how she herself has to deal a lot with her own attention disorder, I'm not sure that can't backfire. Bloody hells... and here I thought the attention disorder cases are the worst challenges, but through stupporn try-and-error attempts I now have a set of personal agreements and self-study schedules I can use to reach out to those. It's certainly not enough to replace medication, but at least I don't have any trouble with them being uncooperative anymore at the moment. But now students that are trapped in a vicious cycle of total lethargy... there I feel totally unprepared. I'm not a therapist, but as a teacher I have to help in every way I can, and here I am a little iffed that during my studies this wasn't talked about AT ALL. There was endless preparation for how to work with students of migration background and one single hour in which attention disorders were mentioned as an issue (without giving any tips of how to deal with it whatsoever, only that it is troublesome -.-). Depression and other psychological problems were never even mentioned, now that I think about it. And it vexes me to no end...
  4. I appreciate the effort, but I think my year was far too shitty that I could answer any of these questions in a way that isn't depressing. Stephen Colbert, Seth Meyers and Trevor Noah. For giving me at least a few chuckles when my instincts tell me to just be terrified and done with the human race. Never. I actually learned just how hard it is to appreciate any of my accomplishments. The university library? Good times, good times... Can't remember any moment in the entire fucking year. Well... Some of the pupils I'm tutoring made decisive progress when it comes to their marks. That's something, I guess. I also hope that some of my political rants made people reconsider voting for right-wing populists with shitty answers for made-up problems and even shittier core values they hide beneath all the shouting. ... ... News don't make me feel, except when that feeling is being terrified. .... Had to look up what 'expletive' means. I guess my English isn't as good as I thought it is. I don't drink, but I'd say Bourbon. Because it makes every Colbert reaction shot even funnier. ... ... I think there must be something... but I can't for the life of me come up with something. 2016 at least had that whole Pokémon craze, but this year I just kinda survived. I am ashamed to say that I didn't, but honestly that has more to do with the fact that I'm not on that good terms with people in general. I'd like to say that I try to say comforting things to my mother whenever she's close to a nervous breakdown, but usually I'm not getting anything accomplished with that. Nah, for the same reason as above. ... maybe the ending of the Umineko episode 8 manga while Queen's "Teo Torriate" was blaring into my ears. Left me a sobbing wreck, in a good way of course.
  5. That's exactly it. So much! Even without politics the year was beginning with a slump. My practice semester ended and going back to university courses made me depressed because I had somewhat settled in my teacher lifestyle and didn't want to leave at all. And then while everyone keeps telling me that graduating with my Master's degree is some kind of achievement that I should celebrate, I couldn't do that at all because I kept thinking that I now left just another step of my life behind me without accomplishing much in regards to repairing my social anxieties. In general, the entire year was just a repeated sequence of me working myself to death and my mood doing dive jumps of self-loathing and regrets. The more I think about it, I may now be less socially adjusted than I was 5 years ago and this irritates the hell out of me.
  6. The attitudes of most characters clearly was like that, true. But I was thinking about that fancy cyberfuture woman who clearly held a speech about how religion is not a mistake and would have found a way into their culture with or without Kelly and that it was important for them. I was just thinking that the way she framed it was likely intended as a crowd-pleaser. Something "Who watches the watchers" didn't do, it had Picards "darkness and superstition" rant and left it at that.
  7. I must admit, I was incredibly glad that they seem to have finally buried that "my ex is my first officer storyline". A tedious repetition of them getting back together and breaking up again surely would have ruined the series. I also find it kinda odd, didn't the zoo episode already establish that they drive each other mad when living together? Pheromone or not, that should have already been reason enough to abandon that silly idea of Mercer's. To the episode itself... well, it felt an awful lot like a fusion of TNG's "Who Watches the Watchers" and Voyager's "Blink of an Eye". Both are among my favourites and amazing episodes in itself. Seeing them mashed together however... somewhat fell flat. The major strength of "Who Watches the Watchers" was that the medieval Mintakans weren't portrayed as dumb as dirt idiots who blindly worship whatever they see, but that the breach of the Prime Directive was resolved by Picard... just talking to them on equal grounds. Knowing that people in the past are just as much people as we are today, it was just nice to see the episode ending with the Enterprise crew and the medieval townspeople just sitting together and chatting about the future. Here this fell flat, mostly due to the severe time constraints thanks to the phase shift, but also because this little meeting just had ridiculously overblown consequences that felt out of place. The child barely caught a glimpse upon Kelly and yet 700 years later there are exact statues getting all the details on her uniform straight that make them capable of recognizing Kelly on sight? The hell? In a lot of ways, these people acted less like a real civilization and more like strawmen of superstition, something the TNG episode refrained from. Even though the Orville episode forced itself to a "religion isn't a bad thing, despite all the murder and shit" message while TNG was infamously just sneering at it. I did however like how the pope was murdered and him having gotten convinced didn't change shit, that was at least a good realistic counter to the naiviety of the crew. The Voyager episode was mostly so amazing because I really, really want the data the Voyager collected. Seriously, I would kill for that chance! Watching this planet's civilizations grow in real time with snippets of each era looking up into the sky was just incredibly humbling. Here the Orville was barely able to observe anything other than those short glimpses, only Isaac (whose mission was clearly inspired by the Doctor's adventures) was granted the ability to do so and we didn't hear of any of his marvels. What a bloody shame... It was not a bad episode per se, but the previous ones which were obviously inspired by Star Trek episodes were always capable to bring something new to the table. Here it was just... pure copy-pase that ended up in a somewhat disappointing collage.
  8. But... that was the point! He's a drama queen! That's his thing! Everytime something goes wrong for him he drowns in self-pity and blows every little thing out of proportion. Haven't you listened to the silly messages he left on Hernando's recorder in the same scene? He lost his slipper for crying out loud! XD This whole suicide scene was just him playing up the drama. If he'd truly thought he was killing himself, his unconsciousness surely would have called the other Sensates like in Riley's case later on. But since he was alone, it was clear that it was just more or less him playacting to reinforce how miserable he felt.
  9. Wow, you must have a heart of ice. I mean... yeah, at least the black-white-morality, the melodrama and the somewhat preachy monologues are objectively true. But the (main) characters having no depth is decidedly untrue and the 'montages' you are loathing so much are a big part of why the show actually makes the best from its premise when it comes to stunning cinematography and sheer optimistic fun. It has a certain feel to it that just oozes optimism and restores your faith in mankind. That's why I love it so much. But apparently you have already made up your mind that you hate it, so... I can only say that I'm sorry for you.
  10. I'm just going to focus on one issue I actually want to talk about, because this whole 'wanking off' thing is just a ridiculous subject to debate about. I'm also fairly certain that when you can't concentrate because you want to hump your co-workers, masturbating while imagining your co-workers won't help at all. It will just reinforce your goddamn fantasies about your co-workers because you are fooling your body. Heck, if I'd ever catch myself wanking off while imagining any of my acquintances, I would just feel like a miserable creep, nothing else. Mmh... statistically, I cannot help but agree, but could also easily present some of my female students as clear counter-examples. Hormones do influence attention, but then again, when comparing boys with attention disorders and girls with attention disorders, I have come to see the exact same symptoms, the same wandering eye movement, the same inability to stay focused no matter how hard they try. Completely unrelated to whether I was dealing with a girl or a boy. The only (definitely not representative) difference I could observe, was that the boys had the additional barrier of not wanting to concentrate while girls were failing despite their best efforts. ... all I'm saying is, that there is a strong individual factor involved here. Everyone is different when it comes to their work morale. There certainly are statistical differences (especially when we turn back to the subject of why boys 'fail' at school) and testosterone may be an issue to some degree, but I usually approach from the assumption that society always has a far stronger effect. There are a lot of factors working against boys when it comes to internalizing a stronger working morale (which is kind of a precondition for focusing on stuff): Lack of role models, pressure from peers and family to value sports over education, a dismissive 'boys are just like that' attitude in vast contrast to the corrective attitude people have towards girls failing in school. All of this creates an atmosphere in which boys easily come to the conclusion that they don't need to be good in school to feel valued and accepted, thoroughly skewering their priorities. This cliché of boys being too jumpy for classroom situations due to testerone isn't something that I've been able to observe in practice at all and I've been in this business for quite a few years by now.
  11. I may haven't had dreams for years now, but this one came up quite frequently when I was a kid. That was some 'Final Destination'-like shit I went through in my nightmares, because even though I could always 'replay' the same situations and avoid one death, I got flattened by something else immediately thereafter. Car crashes, rolled over by a train, stuff like that happened no matter where I went. And it was pretty frustrating, because even though I usually had quite a lot of control over my dreams, this was still a recurring theme I had to keep fighting against.
  12. litechick. In the post you thanked. He may have talked about 'some' men, but expanded it quickly to cultures and society and that we need to accept it as normal, making it clearly sound like an integral problem to men instead of just a minority of people with an odd disorder who need real help.
  13. Kalbear already said everything I wanted to say. I just add this: If a grown ass man (I specifically exclude a boy in puberty, even though my own puberty experience obviously wasn't influencing my train of thought when it comes to girls either) is not able to concentrate in workplace situations because he can't stop thinking about humping his co-workers, then he has a psychological problem! A problem that won't go away by giving in to the desire and 'wanking off' in some dark corner. He needs professional help! Not insane attempts to normalize his problems and project them onto all men. I phrased my question to all 'man'-kind as a question because I was just stumped that you think all men are like this. Because even though I am likely asexual and don't care much about the subject, I still get irritated and offended when people go under the assumption that all men are rabid beasts who can't control their base urges. No matter my own background, I deny that concept! Because I just find it toxic and utterly unhelpful to improving society as a whole. It's just giving in to an utterly ridiculous stereotype!
  14. ... What? ... I've read your post several times to ensure that you were really saying what I think you are saying and I'm still quite confused. I... I can't be the only one who doesn't consider this a 'personal need' at all, can I? I'm serious here, everything you've been describing strikes me as genuinely alien. Especially when it comes to workplace situations. Due to the gender-imbalance of one of my subjects and pure chance in the other one I tend to work quite a lot with women, women of my age, not exactly unattractive women, and I never, ever felt the urge to 'relieve myself' or something. Sure, it could be me that is wrong in the head, after all my utter lack of interest in sexual activities leads me to the conclusion that I'm asexual, but if being heterosexual means such a ludicrous lack of control just by being around the other sex, then I sure as hell don't want to be heterosexual!
  15. One thing is clear, if we survive this and if there are still history books and history lessons in the far future, students reading about this time will wonder how the fuck it could come to this.