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About Toth

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  1. But you do have noticed that these are 'cuts', not 'changes', have you? I'd understand this kind of reasoning if this money would get redistributed into, for example, hiring more teachers or fund better equipment in schools that don't get the funding from the state side. Instead they just choke these after-school programs to save money in the GOP's grand scheme of 'make the rich more rich by screwing over the poor' which really could be the title of everything they propose.
  2. I know. I guess I should have stated that this is the situation I'm seeing in Berlin/Brandenburg right now. Though since from what I know US education is a states issue as well, I still thought the situation is comparable. And my main point was how much the effects of negligent funding affect the teachers through increasingly excessive demands and them being overworked and disillusioned negatively affects the quality of the education. Federal subsidies to make the job more attractive/release pressure from them should really do wonders in this regard.
  3. Since there seem to be still doubters that defunding schools is something bad (which baffles my mind, actually), let me paint you a picture on how defunding schools have affected the German school system over the past decades. I don't think that the situation is comparable in all departments, especially since those federal cuts seem to get rid of patches that try to soften up the US system's integral deficies, but the idea should be generally the same. Well... the idea in Germany is that you throw young people out into the job market as soon as possible, which is the reason why High School education was shortened from 7 to 6 years, but the curriculum contains the same amount of stuff that needs to be pressed into longer school days. Meanwhile budget cuts affect mostly the employment of teachers. With fewer teachers, whenever someone gets ill or gives birth, there is no one there to replace him/her, which means cancellation of valuable lessons, trouble to make up for the missed lessons and therefore worse marks for those who needed them. With less teachers and packed schools because no new ones are being built the class size rises, which mean less opportunities for the teaches to give individual help to those who are drowned out by the masses. Throw in a few troublemakers, foreign pupils with special needs in regards to learning the language,as well as mentally ill pupils because special schools were closed down under the pretense of 'inclusion', but barely any support or extra training offored to regular teachers to handle them. Under these conditions, you throw entire classes under the bus. The most comitted teachers then flee to the schools in the most elite surroundings, abandoning 'problem schools' which need them the most, simply because the conditions there become intolerable and when comitted people hit a wall, they tend to break (burnout statistics make that clear as a day). In fact, more and more teachers don't have an educational training at all, because they employ more and more 'Quereinsteiger', which means, people with a business background thrown into a haphazard express training who can be thrown into any subject that needs to be tought without the need of an education in it. They work for lower wages and are supposed to fill in for multiple specialized teachers, only the pupils suffer in many cases because it takes time until they themselves learn what they are supposed to teach, if they do at all. An interesting side effect is that Germany has developed a whole fucking industry of private tutoring to allow those whose parents have the money to pay for it, to make up the lost lessons through the failing school system. This is utterly ridiculous and of course enforces the gap between the wealthy and poor, the government programs to pay those extra lessons for few of the really poor does little to patch it. More money would solve all of these problems at the core and you don't need to have a crystal ball to see where you have to invest it: More teachers and smaller classes, especially in those schools in low income problem areas. These schools are in fact the most important. If we want to have any chances in the market of the future, we need to raise social mobility and not shut it down. And education is the key to it!
  4. Okay then. @Kelli: I know my anxieties well enough, I know where they come from and try to tackle them one step at the time. I'm just currently in a hole due to being overworked and having all these annoying aches that get on to my nerves. I dare to say that this isn't a depression, my buried self-loathing and trust issues just surface when I'm in a low. It is already getting better since I've reduced the pressure on me and soon enough I can try to work on myself again, I think. Thanks regardless for the suggestion. And with this, I'm dropping out of this thread. Have a good day, y'all.
  5. Did I sound... so bad? I haven't intended it as an accusation or something I would hold against her. It might also have been skwered through the translation. All I observed was her trying to say something nice in a very awkward manner that I took as just that: Something nice she tried to come up with. She... kinda did scream though. With some flailing arm gestures even. If it wasn't looking so weird and sudden, I wouldn't have been so irritated in the first place. It really wasn't like the normal statement you do after work well done, more like a sudden attack before she dashed away. I'm also a little confused. I know it is bad that I've put thought into it long afterwards, but I thought the key to interpersonal relationships is reading situations while they happen? That has nothing to do with arrogance or the attempt to read someone's mind, more that I always thought that you need to know what people expect you to say or do to avoid pitfalls that get you yelled at. I know it's a vicious cycle. But I still say no thank you to your statement of what is supposed to be better. I used to have at least one very bipolar 'friend' whose constant mood shifts made it unpredictable to say whether they cared about me or not at any given moment. I do prefer no friends to that. I still have acquintances to fulfill my basic needs of human contacts, it's just that I don't keep in touch so that they won't get into the awkward situation to call me 'friend'. That's honestly not the way I learned things work. You need to be really, really, really lucky to make any friends who care enough about you that they won't drop you the moment your world stops being all sunshine. I am kinda burned in that regard. I used to call people 'friends' and expected them to, well, I don't know, not to turn against me the moment it seemed to be the slightly more beneficial thing to do? The majority of people simply don't want to be friends with people who have troubles, especially when they let them catch on. That's too much of a bother. Now that's amusing, given my interest in character-driven drama. I never realized that the way I phrase my self-reflections may be biased by my writing. Though I may point out that I don't see myself as a villain, more like an unintentionally insensitive being who is full of conflicting and messed up anxieties which both restrain me socially, but still somehow drive me professionally.
  6. I'm hard on her as well? I'm... not exactly sure how. But that might show just how out of my depth I am. As I said, I'm fairly sure she just wanted to say something nice and it came out awkwardly due to how far-fetched it was. What I want... at the moment I would be fine just getting back out of my shell and not avoiding people because I'm tired and frozen by my self-loathing. Part of why I am so irritated as well is also because I managed to get into a severe fight with my mother on mother's day. Long story short, she had expressed her loosing her trust into my support to her through a series of unrelated and increasingly petty reproaches over the course of several weeks. I saw what she was actually getting at, but was unable to express my love in a way that she expected me to do. It ended with her telling me that I should not get her anything for mother's day, expecting me to ignore her and buy something regardless, and then flying into a rage that I haven't even brought her flowers when I ended up taking her by her words. I learned two things from that: First: I can trust my readings of such situations, I saw it coming but was too selfish and focused on my own problems to act upon them. Second: Well, exactly this, I am too socially incompetent to be relied upon in any way. I hurt people through negligence, especially when I'm feeling miserable myself. I guess that's one of the major reasons why I try to avoid building up relationships to anyone. I fear that deep down I'm a narcissistic asshat just like my father. The only difference between us in our wallowing in self-pity is that I tend to blame myself and my lone-wolf tendencies, while he blames everyone but himself. Though I guess my complaining to the internet kinda blurs the lines, given that my choice of words is pure rationalization for my erratic social behavior. I guess that's the end of it. I need to drag myself out of my current hole before I can stop seeing myself as a bother to people. Really, that's how it always was. I can only attempt to make progress and build up relationships when I'm not troubled by anything, simply because I know that then I fall back into my selfish instincts and hurt those I have built up relationships with. And since I'm always troubled by something in my trainwreck of a personal life, I prefer to keep my distance in the first place so that I don't even get the chance to hurt anybody accidentally. And that's where I still am...
  7. Me neither. I thought just by rambling it off my mind I would feel better. And regarding that, the thread sure did serve its purpose for me.^^ To me too. And I usually tend to not read to much into stuff like this, rare as it is anyway. It was just the pure awkward fake outburst of appreciation that struck me as odd. Especially since, well, I was pretty sick and lethargic this day and there certainly was no fun with me involved. She was also absent for half of the meeting... I am certainly just going to continue as always and see if the weirdness changes. But I am sure as hell not embarrassing myself by assuming anything other than an interest in a healthy working climate. Heck, I'm still struggling with getting myself What's App to join the project group and keep in touch with the others, simply because I never needed to 'keep in touch' with anyone for that matter. I'm that kind of a recluse.
  8. This is odd and irritates me to no end. Excuse me the digressing introduction, but you have to understand my current state of mind to see why I'm so confused. You see, I've reached rock bottom at the moment. After a hellish school time that effectively destroyed any shred of social competence I might have, I went to university to rush through my studies while bearing the constant onslaught of my parents' messy and neverending divorce. Now I'm writing my master-thesis on a great topic that is a lot of fun to delve into its research, which should be awesome, if not for a multitude of annoying last semester courses and insane (as in: bafflingly impossible) time-limits to finish them all. This all after my 'practice semester' in which I worked as a teacher and grew really comfortable with my profession, effectively erasing the last doubts seeded by, well, plain everyone who doesn't happen to be another student who has seen 'professional' me in action. Returning to university, I fell into something of a black hole caused by the dreading feeling that everything I still have to do there is just a bothersome waste of time that I could spent doing my fucking job instead. The end of my practice semester also coincides with certain political insanities in the US that threaten the very future I worked so hard for, which may be a reason why I threw myself so desperately into my work in an attempt to get it all off the table to at least get a fear years in service before the world goes fully apocalyptic wasteland. The end of that song is obvious: A minor physical breakdown, something of a burnout. I'm still shuffling onwards, but currently trying to not put so much pressure on myself. And even though I'm improving, I'm still exhausted, moody and plagued by constant aches and illnesses. In the middle of all this, I happen to have ended up in a semester-encompassing group project with a few acquintances and a girl I... well, it would be too much of a stretch to claim any more than that I kinda noticed her before. We never talked much with each other, I just once before accompanied her to the bus and that's about it. It also isn't helpful that she is just as introverted as I am, which, objectively, really isn't a good combination. And it is really silly to think anything into her words when I barely know her at all. Now I happen to have ended up sharing her trip home once again, which ended up in us bonding over our mutual post-practice blackholes and her suddenly livening up quite a lot, which ended in an awkward overly cheerful declaration of how much fun working with me (yes, specifically me, despite the fact that we both barely contributed that day) had been. I was a little stumped at such a blatant (if considerate) lie and still think that I'm projecting way too much into it. I'm likely just unfamiliar that people can try to be nice when you feel miserable instead of kicking you further down. Hell this is the same reason I once developed an ill-begotten high-school crush that made the theatre courses quite awkward and shows that I haven't learned anything at all. Thankfully it hasn't become so bad this time, right now it's just confusion about my own social incompetence and how someone can still be appreciative of me when I have made quite a few steps backwards in my attempt to step out of my shell. Might be the wrong thread for this rant. Just another hint that my unfamiliarity with human interactions is the one big point for why I shouldn't bother people with me.
  9. In regards to how to deal with monuments like this and the dipshits who still worship them, I guess the German perspective could be quite beneficial. It think completely demolishing anything connected with the darkest parts of your history might not be the most sensible thing to do in the long run. You want to educate your citizens, you want to confront them with the reality of what had actually happened. Leave the monuments of an inhuman regime standing around with no comment? Sure as hell not! You can be assured that they become gathering places for the dregs of your society who seek them for validation. So instead you better build a reminder around them that teaches about the history of the places and the crimes comitted by the people connected with them. You won't see Neonazis gathering at a KZ for the same reason. They want to white-wash history, cherry-pick the parts that validate their own views and avoid the ones that could remind them that what they're constructing is a stupid fantasy. I am strongly against dismantling all monuments that convey undemocratic messages. Because that is white-washing as well, it is erasure and just as toxic. I am however strongly in favor to make use of them for educational purposes, to invoke questioning their motives and rhetoric to train the critical thinking skills of the next generation so that they won't fall prey to similar, modern glorifications. Neo-Nazis will never disappear, sadly. Their appearance is tightly connected with economic misfortune and people trying to claw themselves to a sense of superiority that they think is slipping away from them. Old monuments of actual Nazis or White Supremacists and Confederates won't make them magically appear when there are no other conditions met. Take current German Neonazis. I'm not talking about the confused isolationist neoliberal idiots of the AfD, but the few NPD and DVU crawling around in underdeveloped rural countrysides. You find them in more troubling numbers in former GDR territory, which is passing odd given the strict Denazification policy of the Soviets compared to the approach of the Western Allies. This is because they aren't necessarily direct descendants of the NSDAP, just a couple of miserable assholes who picked up an old Nazi party program and thought it sounds like cool shit. This is reflected in their poor economic position that makes these parties barely able to exist. They are still lurking around, but completely unrelated to actual Nazi strongholds, but among the angry, disillusioned and most of all the uneducated. And that last one is their major weakness. You can fight them with better education, effectively ridding them of future torch-bearers. Why else do you think your American Christian fundamentalists are such advocates for homeschooling? Why else do White Supremacists crop up far away from the economically successful coastal areas, but instead in the rural middle with its defunct school systems? Sorry for the rambling. Just a bit food for thought. Right next to the dismantling of EPA, I think having someone who can't spell correctly in charge of your schools is one of the most severe blows the US is taking under this administration.
  10. Okay, thanks. That makes a lot of sense now if I regard that statement in regards to their economic policy only. Damn, I should have known better than to be surprised by this, but it shows just how much I am on the wrong lane right now... -.- Given AfD's history as a protest party out of FDP survivors who fled the sinking ship after it was sunk during the last elections, they still remain extreme neoliberal in their economic view. Which is kinda baffling why a German neoliberal would be against EU, but I guess that's part of the problem of why they keep tearing themselves apart before the election. That and the question of with how much Nazi they can allow themselves to get away with...
  11. Just stumbled about an article quoting the current AfD main candidate calling the Front Nationale 'ultrasocialistic' with a wording that excluded the national part and called it too far left to her liking. What? Just... what? If that is any indicator for where on the political spectrum those suckers are, they don't even deserve to be ridiculed, they deserve to be totally ignored.
  12. But... but... Mike Pence's E-Mails!
  13. Not wanna rub salt into the wound, but... I've spent my sparse leisure time playing Tropico 4 recently and I couldn't help but notice that Tropico, a banana republic that is presented as a Fourth World country in the introduction lines... has free healthcare... Sure enough, it also hurts to see that they don't have privatized the housing sector and therefore rents are always affordable. At least if there is no immigration spike causing living space to run out and force people to live in shacks in the woods. But nothing is perfect.^^
  14. Yeah, regarding the population issue I'm not thinking quite as apocalyptic as I do in regards to global warming. Highly urbanized areas in Europe, Japan and civilized North America are a good indicator how a high living standard, access to methods of planned parenthood and economic situations which make not having children more favourable than having them leads straight towards a negative population growth. I'm also thinking that the statistics are somewhat skewered that it is less that not only more children are born and survive infancy (they do since the early 19th century anyway, it's just that the same medical standards are now spreading across the globe), but that old people simply stubbornly refuse to die. But since we have already reached pretty much the tip of what is doable with modern medicine, the age of death will start to stagnate soon enough, giving us time to adjust to the demographic change. Sure, it's just speculation, but I am fairly confident that when the standard of living raises globally, urban centres become population drains in every country. China for example, after having propped up its economy over the last decades with cheap manufacturing under insane working conditions, already shows the first signs of that actually changing and with the bettering of wages and living standards, they'll get less problems with their insane population growth (which was mostly due to the usual rural mentality anyway). If India does the same change, even though it means higher prices for all of us, we are fairly safe. That is, if we haven't already crossed the point of no return in regards to global warming, with the sun-deflecting arctic ice melting and with the retreating permafrost releasing more and more greenhouse gases which accelerate the whole process until we are thrown into a real life Mad Max movie. When we are starving en masse, population growth will be the least of our troubles.
  15. Wait? The fuck happened? I was just one bloody day away and when I come back you guys lost healthcare? Okay, less panic. Stupid clickbait titles. Just skimmed the first articles I stumbled upon and they say the bill is unlikely to pass the Senate, so... just mild panic?