Erik of Hazelfield

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About Erik of Hazelfield

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  1. I was referring to the Swedish case. I guess the midwife job description in Swedish public hospitals might be a bit broader than elsewhere, including many tasks related to sexual and reproductive health, like contraception, STD testing, infertility and so on. Abortions are part of it. I’m not sure exactly which role they play there - I think at least later stage abortions are performed by surgeons - but they do handle early stage abortions where only abortive pills are used. It should be noted that the title of midwife is considered a master’s degree in Sweden and they have studied for at least 5.5 years including practice.
  2. Thanks. I was in a similar situation with a previous girlfriend and only mustered the courage to break up when we almost bought an apartment together. Needless to say, that hurt her way more than if I had done it earlier.
  3. This has been a hot topic here in Sweden as well. One politician was forced to resign because he refused to shake hands with women, and one teacher was fired because she refused to shake hands with men. I’m not so sure what to think. On one hand it’s clearly motivated by at least some amount of xenophobia. As you say, other excuses for not shaking hands would probably go down just fine. On the other hand, you have to conform at least to some degree to the culture you live in and the line has to be drawn somewhere. The usual case for this isn’t citizenship but jobs. How much can I expect an employer to make exceptions to allow for my religious practices (like daily praying, wearing a turban etc)? The answer for me is pretty clear: you can deny someone a job when he or she refuses to do certain parts of the job or their religious practices get seriously in the way of performing their job. One example is the midwife who was denied an employment because she refused to take part in abortions. On the other hand, I do think it’s reasonable that employers must allow for prayer breaks given that the job isn’t time-critical (like, I don’t know, some guard duty?) and that the number of worked hours is the same. Otherwise it becomes too easy to justify firings on religious or cultural grounds on practical pretexts (in this company we eat pork on Thursdays! Otherwise you can’t work here!). I think handshakes fall somewhere in between those cases though. I can absolutely see how for instance customers could react badly to someone who refuses handshakes - especially if they only do it to one sex only. Apart from that, I personally think it’s a dubious practice. Surely no religion is that puritanical? I get that French-style cheek kisses are awkward for a lot of people, and I fully understand if people feel uncomfortable with our Swedish practice of hugging everyone all the time, but if a handshake is too intimate for you... maybe it’s time to loosen up a little?
  4. I think it’s sort of a balance. On one hand, I agree completely - it feels wrong to have love reduced to answering ads in a job-searching manner. On the other hand, in my experience the strategy of just waiting for love to walk into your life all by itself is pretty damn inefficient and will likely keep you waiting for a really long time. Hooking up in bars seems at best marginally better than online dating. So what do you do?
  5. Thanks. Makes me feel a bit better.
  6. I’ve never posted in here but seeing the excellent advice everyone else is given, I’ve decided to try my luck. So I’m single again after a 4-year relationship of which the last 4 months was as husband and wife. Not a perfect relationship but I really loved her and we were very cute to each other (lots of cuddling, laughs and just generally being silly together). The thing that broke it was the issue of having children - I wanted it, she didn’t. We had discussed it in the past of course and she wasn’t sure and I promised I’d be ok with whatever she decided, but when she finally did say she really didn’t want kids I broke down and was devastated for days and after that there just wasn’t any saving the relationship. Not only did I feel like shit, I also felt shitty for not be able to keep my promise. Even if I’m mostly over her and am kind of relieved, I’m still haunted by a terribly bad conscience over that. Fast-forward 4 months, one sold house, one new apartment and one new job later (all of which are good, so my life is actually great apart from the fact that I’m 34 and single which isn’t what I want). Now I’ve gotten myself a Tinder profile to see if I can find someone to hook up with. Now to my actual question: there’s this girl I’ve seen on two dates now. She’s nice, sort of interesting and I really like her choice of hobbies (skiing and trekking). But I just don’t feel that into her, mostly because I just don’t think she’s that good looking. I feel like a horrible person both because I know I have to turn her down and because I feel like a shallow asshat who turns people down because of their looks. (She’s not even ugly, just not my type.) Now it’s been two weeks since our last date and neither of us has texted each other again. I’m kind of thinking it’s a test on her side to see how interested I am. Or maybe she feels the same way and just doesn’t want to see me. In any case: how the hell do you do this? I can barely say no to people stopping me and trying to sell me stuff in malls because I feel sorry for them. How do you turn down someone who actually likes you and might want to get into a relationship? You’re rejecting their very person! At least with the sales people I can always tell them I don’t need a new cellphone right now. This thing is crushing me. How am I supposed to date if I can’t say no to people? That seems like a sure recipe for disaster. Is it a complete dick move to just do nothing? Is it even worse to send a message after two weeks saying you’re not interested, like twisting the knife when it was already obvious? More generally: at what point do you cut things off when you don’t hit it off that great and how do you do it?
  7. SC, can you please comment on Elon’s last tweets? Is he seriously suggesting they recover the second stage with a giant balloon or is it some late April’s fool joke?
  8. But what about if the people of said country wishes to be more free, but they have a dictator preventing it? What if half the population (say, women) wants to, say, have the right to drive a car, but the other half doesn't want them to? Do we still respect their right to self-determination or is it legit to exert pressure on that country to not discriminate against their own citizens? (And do we have any examples of when that sort of thing ever worked? This is not a rethorical question, I'm genuinely curious.) I'm a bit torn on this. On one hand it's derogatory to assume that the people of other countries cannot rise up against tyranny without our help. On the other hand it seems cynical to just say "well it has to come from themselves so let's do nothing". I generally accept the idea that we in the Western world might not be all-wise and rigtheous all the time, and that our version of democracy is usually pretty flawed too, but when it comes to stuff like equality and LGBTQ+ rights, you just won't get any concessions from me. Anyone who opposes those things is wrong, end of story. And I think it feels right to try to help the people in other countries who are not as fortunate as us. At least we can do our best not to encourage it (for example by not selling weapons or surveillance tech to oppressive states).
  9. My list of priorities goes something like this: 1) Prevent genocide 2) Avoid war 3) Export democracy That is, to stop an ongoing genocide, we can invade all we want. However, living in a country ruled by a dictator is often a lot better than in a country at war. I think we are right in promoting democracy and freedom by diplomatic means, but not by military means.
  10. So I take it this is the half of the fairing that they didn’t try to salvage? But it’s ruined anyway due to the salt water?
  11. Informative link. That looks like one complicated mission for sure! Any idea on their plan for stage recovery for that one? Everything, nothing or something in between?
  12. Is Bremain still a viable scenario somehow? Because that sure seems like the easiest solution to me.
  13. Regarding “added sugar in everything”: I’m not saying you’re wrong, but this study seems to show that most of the sugar we eat come from completely predictable sources: 1 (full text pg 29, fig 3.6). It’s soda, sports drinks, sugary cereal, juice, ice cream, candy... less than 15% of the added sugar comes from regular food. We get fat from eating stuff that we know are bad.
  14. I worked as a teacher for about a year and I think it was awesome. Besides all the other good stuff already mentioned, I remember liking the fact that I felt connected to stuff I had long since forgotten was important. We celebrated Christmas. We went ice skating in the winter. I had to teach about biology, which I had never previously been interested in but now was utterly fascinated with. The start of summer break was a magical mix of joy, anticipation and a hint of wistfulness. I saw young people with problems so deep that my own seemed silly by comparison. In short, teaching made me feel alive. Unfortunately I cannot go back (wrong education and nowadays teaching requires a special exam).
  15. Funny. If the US would follow that slippery slope, then in 40 years they’d still not have as tight regulations as countries like Sweden or the UK have today.