Count Balerion

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About Count Balerion

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    Hedge Knight

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    GRRM, languages, history, opera, Tolkien, parodies, being weird.

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  1. Be as unhelpful as possible

    Ah, the what ifs of history .... Why can't I alter the past? It's not fair! Everyone else gets to!
  2. Am I The Only One Around Here Who V.2

    She wasn't my favourite, but it seems they did try to make her more sympathetic. It's sort of weird because she acted less nutters than BookCersei (until last season), but did nuttier things (the arming of the Church Militant is better motivated in the books). (Re Peter Jackson: Kind of OT; but while almost everything did look nice, as it does in GOT, I thought the distortions of characters and of the themes in Tolkien's books were far more distorted.) I'm pretty sure I'm not; but anyway: am I ... who wishes there were only one more book in the series? Because when GRRM finally finishes WOW, we'll still have a whole other book to wait for. (Not that I'm sick of reading; after one more book he could move on to more D&E.)
  3. Be as unhelpful as possible

    Cuz they're arty and like fancy-schmancy colours. Does the Night's Watch have a 1-800 number, and is it as annoying as all the others and does a canned message say "A Night's Watch representative is working hard to take your call. We appreciate your patience while he hang out at Mole T... I mean, defend the realm"?
  4. Am I The Only One Around Here Who V.2

    Possibly; but probably not. I only like that idea when I feel evil and satirical. I wouldn't put it past GRRM to do something like that, and that goes trebly for D&D. One advantage (and this is really evil) is that then several theories turn out false! Part of me, though, still wants Dany to usher in a Golden Age. Not blooming likely! Am I .... who thinks Peter Jackson's LOTR was worse than D&D's GOT? In terms of mangling themes to the point of flat-out contradicting them.
  5. Be as unhelpful as possible

    I don't know much about Pokemon, so I don't even have to try that hard to be unhelpful! All I gotta do is act naturally! Yay! Why are the Ghiscari so gross? Like eeeew.
  6. Am I The Only One Around Here Who V.2

    I don't know ... She was queen and belonged to one of the richest families ... I suppose what might make it difficult to swallow is her incompetence in FFC and the fact that neither Tywin nor Kevan seems to have thought much of her. ("Cleganebowl": can take or leave; not something I'm very big about.) Am I ... who both looks forward to the upcoming seasons and suspects they won't be very good (in terms of plot and characterization and that)?
  7. Oh, yes. And the North remembering!
  8. Be as unhelpful as possible

    Because it's an underdeveloped Third-World economy cruelly exploited by Braavosi capitalists. How many gold dragons is the Iron Throne worth? I want to redecorate my apartment.
  9. Am I The Only One Around Here Who V.2

    I don't know about lying; but certainly over-optimistic. Am I ... who wonders at the paucity of cities in Westeros, given that it's modelled on Europe of the high Middle Ages, which had globs of cities? Did I already ask this?
  10. Am I The Only One Around Here Who V.2

    Oh no; I do that all the time. I probably come back more out of curiosity to see what's goingv on. Am I ... who wonders whether there are other planets in Universos? I think Earthos has a moon, but don't definitely remember. But thing like the morning star, etc.? Not that it's a big screaming deal.
  11. Outrageous Lies bout TP above, Ver. 24 (I like it better than 23)

    RB is the head of government in Andorra. To be fair, discussing a proposal to ban the QM is on the agenda--number 17 on the list, right after revision of the chewing gum law.
  12. Am I The Only One Around Here Who V.2

    No, I haven't either. But I don't really do audio books, not yet anyway. Am I ... who likes the Quentyn chapters? Although how I'll feel if GRRM never finishes is another matter. But in themselves I find them more enjoyable than, say, Tyrion in boats.
  13. Mellow drama, unleash insane megalomaniac, v. 2

    OK; the Count, not knowing that TJ's sword had been blessed in the Seven Heavens, laughed and laughed, because he knew that, glamour aside, he was still the Drowned God! So he took a copy of AGOT, stuck it into a deadly compound of wildfire and basilisk venom, and hurled it at TJ, screaming "DIE! DIE!!!!!! DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Oh, and he had a sea cucumber attack from behind, because that was the kind of treacherous thing he did. Although ... perhaps the Count *was* afraid, deep down inside. Or perhaps he was cooking up a new and even more dastardly plan for world conquest, now that being a Drowned God was getting messy ... **^^^&*(((( Weird things seemed to be happening in Daenerys's scenes lately. Joey lunged at her with a dagger; but the dagger wasn't a prop, it was real! A CGI dragon was replaced with a robot one ... which started breathing real fire at her! And what was with these trap doors that suddenly opened at her feet, or these weights that narrowly missed landing on her head and crushing her to death? Or when she had a nude bathing scene, and suddenly a school of piranhas turned up? Then there was the feast where she suddenly felt ill ... It was a good thing she'd had such a tough life hanging out in Somali refugee camps and whatnot. Emilia Clarke: "If I didn't know better, I'd think someone wanted me dead." Narrator: "It's weird. I don't recall the machine gun scene coming up at all."
  14. Outrageous Lies bout TP above, Ver. 24 (I like it better than 23)

    PF was the psychoanalyst at the psychic ward. His preferred approach is called "the Qyburn method", and is banned in 187 countries.
  15. Be as unhelpful as possible

    I get lots of spam promising deals with glasses, but I just delete them. If Stannis turned up in a commercial selling something, what would it be?