Count Balerion

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About Count Balerion

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    Hedge Knight

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    GRRM, languages, history, opera, Tolkien, parodies, being weird.

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  1. Be as unhelpful as possible

    New Orleans is off topic. Is there a house in Westeros they call the Rising Sun?
  2. Be as unhelpful as possible

    Holdiays have become horribly commercialised. What would Jeopardy be like if it were hosted by Quaithe?
  3. Be as unhelpful as possible

    You could try selling it on e-bay. Would you rather be eaten by a dragon, or have Verizon as your ISP?
  4. Mellow drama, unleash insane megalomaniac, v. 2

    "Ooooooh, God of Death! I *like* it! Why iddn't *I* think of that?" mused the Count. "I AM THE GOD OF DEATH!!!!!!!!!! I AM DEATH!!!!!!!!!!!! TREMBLE BEFORE ME, MINION!!!!!!!!!!!!!" And the sword sprouted fangs and bat wings and antennae and grew to be ten feet long and had grabbing tentacles and oozed poison and had a Trump hairdo. It struck TJ's blade and began to wrap its tentacles around it and it stank. "Sword, I name thee Death!" cried the Count. The Count wasn't very imaginative. "WITH THEE I SHALL BLOT OUT BEING!!!@@!!!!!!!!!" But was even Death a match for a sword bestowed by the Seven in person? And indeed, the more terrifying the Count became, the brighter TJ's sword seemed to shine. And just then, a flashlight landed on his head, labelled "from Weyrde". $#@@#$$ Meanwhile, Ramsay was closing in on Mya Stone, panting with lust!!! ##$$%%$## The radioactive spider bite had been meant to kill Emilia Clarke, but instead it gave her superpowers! So the showrunners were thwarted AGAIN in their evil designs.
  5. Be as unhelpful as possible

    Ghis? Does dragon taste like chicken?
  6. Am I The Only One Around Here Who V.2

    Elisabeth Bennett is a secret Targ. It is known. Which I guess means it isn't really secret.
  7. Be as unhelpful as possible

    Ah, the what ifs of history .... Why can't I alter the past? It's not fair! Everyone else gets to!
  8. Am I The Only One Around Here Who V.2

    She wasn't my favourite, but it seems they did try to make her more sympathetic. It's sort of weird because she acted less nutters than BookCersei (until last season), but did nuttier things (the arming of the Church Militant is better motivated in the books). (Re Peter Jackson: Kind of OT; but while almost everything did look nice, as it does in GOT, I thought the distortions of characters and of the themes in Tolkien's books were far more distorted.) I'm pretty sure I'm not; but anyway: am I ... who wishes there were only one more book in the series? Because when GRRM finally finishes WOW, we'll still have a whole other book to wait for. (Not that I'm sick of reading; after one more book he could move on to more D&E.)
  9. Be as unhelpful as possible

    Cuz they're arty and like fancy-schmancy colours. Does the Night's Watch have a 1-800 number, and is it as annoying as all the others and does a canned message say "A Night's Watch representative is working hard to take your call. We appreciate your patience while he hang out at Mole T... I mean, defend the realm"?
  10. Am I The Only One Around Here Who V.2

    Possibly; but probably not. I only like that idea when I feel evil and satirical. I wouldn't put it past GRRM to do something like that, and that goes trebly for D&D. One advantage (and this is really evil) is that then several theories turn out false! Part of me, though, still wants Dany to usher in a Golden Age. Not blooming likely! Am I .... who thinks Peter Jackson's LOTR was worse than D&D's GOT? In terms of mangling themes to the point of flat-out contradicting them.
  11. Be as unhelpful as possible

    I don't know much about Pokemon, so I don't even have to try that hard to be unhelpful! All I gotta do is act naturally! Yay! Why are the Ghiscari so gross? Like eeeew.
  12. Am I The Only One Around Here Who V.2

    I don't know ... She was queen and belonged to one of the richest families ... I suppose what might make it difficult to swallow is her incompetence in FFC and the fact that neither Tywin nor Kevan seems to have thought much of her. ("Cleganebowl": can take or leave; not something I'm very big about.) Am I ... who both looks forward to the upcoming seasons and suspects they won't be very good (in terms of plot and characterization and that)?
  13. Oh, yes. And the North remembering!
  14. Be as unhelpful as possible

    Because it's an underdeveloped Third-World economy cruelly exploited by Braavosi capitalists. How many gold dragons is the Iron Throne worth? I want to redecorate my apartment.
  15. Am I The Only One Around Here Who V.2

    I don't know about lying; but certainly over-optimistic. Am I ... who wonders at the paucity of cities in Westeros, given that it's modelled on Europe of the high Middle Ages, which had globs of cities? Did I already ask this?