Lockjaw of House Boltagon

Members
  • Content count

    501
  • Joined

  • Last visited

About Lockjaw of House Boltagon

  • Rank
    Landed Knight

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Male

Recent Profile Visitors

888 profile views
  1. Someone probably mentioned this already, but when Arya Leatherface was all up on her high horse about how she'd never serve the Lannisters, it would've been a good moment for Professor Branxavier to chime in and say, "Didn't you and Tywin Lannister become BFFs back when you were being his personal cupbearer at Harrenhall? You didn't even try to kill him once, despite having a Three Free Deaths coupon for The House of Black and White. Don't you remember?"
  2. She was totally drooling over those ravaged, bloody abs.
  3. The northern lords are legit like an angry mob in The Simpsons. I can't get over Gendry's "I'm gonna go run across this vast tundra crawling with zombies! Here, hold my weapon, bro!" It's like Scary Movie in here.
  4. You mean this is fictional? No way, I thought this was just a very intense episode of "Alaskan Bush People" :/
  5. Plot twist: "Westeros" is actually a lego set in the table at Dragonstone like in the Lego movie. Whenever they say "send a raven" my brain changes it to "send a text", and it makes SO much more sense.
  6. I lol'd at Sansa going through Arya's things thinking she's gonna find something slightly suspicious and immediately coming across a collection of ACTUAL faces in a messenger bag. That should be the climax of at least 2 Japanese horror movies. Sansa keeps proving she's a better leader than Jon because she thought to send an emissary to meet with a potentially dangerous queen instead of going herself.
  7. "Raven" is code for DM. That's why Dany got there so fast after Jon hit "send", she couldn't wait to hit that. The dumbest moment for me was Gendry leaving his weapon behind before setting out to run across a giant tundra crawling with zombies.
  8. I don't think Braavos would be cool with the dragons, given their history. Sure, unlike the old Valyrians, Dany's using her dragons to free slaves instead of making them, but what about her descendants, or her dragon-riders? What if she changes her mind or surrounds herself with pro-slavery advisors? There's too many variables to consider, so I would imagine Braavos would rather get rid of the dragons as an easier solution.
  9. I know this has been argued to death and back, but Septa Lemore doesn't have purple/violet eyes, and not even Tyrion at his horniest describes her as breathtakingly beautiful as Ashara was. As others have said, Ashara is one of the most mysterious characters in the series, precisely because I don't know what role she's supposed to play in the story, if any. The thing about the stillborn girl in particular throws me off because it seems so specific. I think I lean towards the Ashara = Jyana Reed crackpot, but I don't know what implications it would have for the rest of the story.
  10. My crackpot guess is Asha. Tristifer Botley and Qarl the Maid spent some time off page with Tycho Nestoris, and we know the important conversations in the story often happen off page. I imagine Tris and Qarl sang the praises of Asha to Tycho, how she was *this* close to become Queen of the Iron Islands, how Euron is planning to bring back dragons and slavery (the 2 things Braavos hates and fears the most), how Asha could use Theon to undo the Kingsmoot, and how, with enough resources, the Ironborn could attack Casterly Rock and pay off the Bank's debts. I mean, it's not ideal, but it's not like the Bank has a whole lot of options if Stannis and Shireen fail. Dany is anti-slavery but very much pro-dragons. Aegon is backed by Illyrio, who's in the slave business. Euron is a psycho and Cersei doesn't wanna play ball. I guess a dark horse candidate could be Littlefinger and whatever puppet ruler he conjures.
  11. It's up to Mace Tyrell and Paxter Redwyne. They're keeping the king of the realm and his heir trapped at Storm's End. They can bend the knee and hope to suffer no repercussions from Stannis, or...they can squeeze harder and make sure the castle falls. A very ambitious and very reckless Mace would then march to KL with his fresh troops and besiege the city, at the same time that the Redwynes send people to Dragonstone to fetch Viserys.
  12. She does, and that's a problem. Tyrion's plans have been garbage, and if she really were like her father, she would've given him the Qarlton Chelsted treatment a long time ago. Everyone who keeps telling her not to fly and burn down the Red Keep has no business advising a queen.
  13. Agree 100%. What should've been a scene of horrific abuse is told like a romantic, erotic fantasy. And to make matters even more incongruous and disturbing, after that unrealistic display of misguided erotica, Drogo continues to rape Dany every day to the point that she wishes she was dead, and THIS time the situation is described as a violent rape. So what gives? You can't have both ways. GRRM seemed unable to make up his mind as to how he wanted to portray Drogo. He's either a rapist or a tender lover, but he can't be both.
  14. What's Gendry's story on the show, thought? Getting dangerously close to Daenerys "I will kill the Usurper's descendants" Targaryen and then inexplicably signing up for a suicide mission north of the Wall? I don't see Edric doing any of that in the books, to be honest.
  15. Quality post. Stole the words out of my, er, keyboard. Anyway, when it comes to fan service I'm usually chill. I thought Davos telling Gendry "I thought you were still rowing" while looking straight at the camera and winking was fine, but the meme font that appeared on the screen and the canned laughter was a bit much.