LordToo-Fat-to-Sit-a-Horse

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  1. i seem to have missed a couple of essays. like finding a wrapped christmas gift. quality stuff for the weekend, Ill come back later.
  2. I like this. I wonder if Jons integration policy will bring more weddings between Wildings and Northmen. Like Tormund and a Mormont seems likely. but there are other female heirs in the north that could follow Alys Karsktar lead in this. Jonelle Cerywn (house with axe sigil) for instance, marrying Soren Shieldbreker (big axe guy) Eddara tallhart Beth Cassel.
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  4. Taena is ten years younger than cersei. That means she was born in 276. She married in Myr while Orton was in exile (after 283). Taena was 7 years old during roberts rebellion. Conventional age for marriage would be somewhat 16 years i seem to recall from a SSM. Russel Merryweather was born in 293, that means Orton should have married her at least 9 months earlier. say 292 (Taena would be 16 in 292) That could very well mean Russel was conceived at the very start of their Marriage. Yet, interestingly enough, the have no other sons or daughters. We are told Orton Merryweather is gay: Taena is arguebly the sexiest woman that we know off in the entire planetos. Therefore Orton must have choosen her for prestige to impress other men,, or to use her to influence other men... Orton is associeted with Horns (his sigil) and a couple of times in the text BTW, how did Orton recover his lands? Robert was a generous guy it is true. And he won enemies over by being generous., but it doesn´t make sense he would keep them for years 9 years just in case his former enemies returned to ask them back. he would rather distribute them among friends or former enemies as soon as possible right? especially if his rule was new and controversial... yet it would seem Orton returned 9 years later, with a gorgeous wife, he went to his knees and Robert delivered. Im sensing a possibility here. Orton choose Taena to seduce robert.. he pimped his wife to win his lands back. Which takes us to the mysterious scarred black hair lover, taena told cersei about: Wouln´t it be really smart writting if the man was in fact robert? And later to the myrish swamp scene: Cersei mirroring Robert with Taena. 9 months later after Lord Orton and Lady Taenar arrive to westeros newlywed, little Russel Merryweather is born.. . the one who likes playing with swords (bttw where does he get that from? certainly not from Lord Orton), and Taena refuses to bring to court (fear of Cersei murdering him like she did with all the other bastards?) I don´t think Orton Merryweather is a player. His interventions in AFFC don´t strike me as consistent pattern of manipulations in favor of some other player of the game of thrones..He is just a amiable lickspittle, like his grandfather, whose contributions are just to praise Cerseis "intelligence". But taena is. All her actions help destroy the lannister-tyrell alliance. She is clearly doing Varys´ bidding. Why? i wonder if VArys knows who the real father of russel is and blackmails taena..
  5. maybe he never did and thats the whole point about LF. What if he always thought he did spend that night with Catelyn, and that she had feelings for him... So he goes on and challenges Brandon to a duel, gets wounded. Cat saves his life by pleading Brandon to spare him. and he gets banished from Riverrun... LF writes her a letter.. she never answers. we readers know she never actually read it, but he doesnt... all he knows is that she goes on and marries to the Starks of winterfell, choosing to become lady of the North rather than marrying him.. a lowborn baelish from nowhere... so he grows bitter and motivated to ascend socially to get a title that might have won the hand of catelyn back then.. and now tries to remake history with Cat 2.0.. sansa.
  6. This could imply she left before he woke up. Theres also the letter Petyr sent Cat before, that she never opened. I think LF always thought he had that one night with Catelyn..
  7. I think he actually thought Lysa was Catelyn. He was drunk and called her Cat aftewards if we can believe lysa.
  8. Important enough. One tends to forget that more likely than not, many nobles are in fact quite religious. Also there is the fear of being cuckolded, not only because the bride would be pregnant before the marriage, but because the prejudice that a woman who enjoys her sexuality could be unfaithful. Even for great houses it seems that a sexually active daughter seems to bring considerable shame. Not least important is the fact that even if you yourself dont care much about your future bride "innocence", her reputation is pretty important. power bring enemies, and enemies create tales of illegictimacy pretty easily. "we all know the mother was a whore..." kind of story that would endanger succession. So open sexuality i would say would a huge deal.
  9. Euron has been having sex with his brother, while skinchanging a woman, while secretly plotting his death. Abomination x 1000
  10. I like the theory of Euron skinchanging the Dusky woman to spy on Victarion first hand. His plan to give up the dragonhorn seems pretty careless for an evil genius like Euron. If Euron is in fact a skinchanger, it explains why the dusky woman reacts like she does to Moqorro, and also what could possible go wrong for Victarion, as well as who was the poisoner.
  11. foreshadowing of the great tragedy that will be Dorne entering the war for Aegon. i think Dany will destroy the water gardens, Dorans favorite place and the constant reminder of his duty to protect the children.
  12. 1) on the contrary. IMHO its pretty clear she is manipulating cersei, the Gardener Coin issue makes it almost certain she is teaming up with whomever planted said coin (varys most likely) If that is so, for what purpose? that remains unknown. but its certainly something George will have to develop further. 2) we know he was an landless exile, and at some point Robert gave him back part of his lands? why? benevolence? I think Orton-Taena is actually a lavender marriage, taena seduced robert, and robert gave orton back some lands, because russel would eventually inherit them.
  13. BryndenBfish made a good argument that Taena works for Varys she is kind of a doble agent https://warsandpoliticsoficeandfire.wordpress.com/2014/11/21/the-agents-of-chaos-spies-spymasters-and-their-tradecraft-in-westeros-part-1-the-myrish-femme-fatale/ I doubt the reason is that she has targaryen blood. No need to complicate matters further. I think she just wants to recover her husbands family lands. There is also the theory that her son is one of roberts bastards (i like that one though the evidence is a bit lacking)
  14. by now it seems really unlikely that the DoD2 will happen in TWOW. If we are lucky Dany will arrive westeros by the end of the next book. She needs to become the Stmtw, close the SB plots, take Volantis, take Pentos, and cross the narrow sea... seems too much.. That means either the DOD and the War for Dawn happen simultaneously or we will need more books.
  15. Very Nice. Its been i while since i read a theory that actually makes sense. I have to admit ive never even considered marwyn as the culprit. But you are right technically it never says All archmaesters have a key. A number of possibilites open up. Is Marwyn trying to steal the book to avoid the grey sheep of using that knowledge to kill the dragons or rather he is the one to kill the dragons? Looking forward to the next essay.