Madame deVenoge

I literally need my phone, computer, chargers for both, sun hat, SPF 50, a bra, and my medication. I can buy pretty much anything else on the streets of Naples (Italy). And, in fact, this has happened. I can tell you that nowhere in Italy can one find a decent lingerie shop or even an indecent one with a size 30E brassiere, though I’m pretty sure that one could find such in Brazil. Or perhaps Germany. The Germans are generally….well. MY MOTHER said, “Germans. It’s either two twin beds or an orgy.” MY MOTHER.

I am an innocent young lady who would be smoking a cigarette if I smoked. He just left the house, but we are planning Wednesday at his place and then Thursday is an overnight here. He would have invited me to Seder, tomorrow, if it were just him and his dad, but there’s the kids. So sweet of him to even think about inviting me!!!! He also asked how I stay looking like I’m 25, as he said, with his eyes roaming up and down my naked body. I told him there is a painting in the attic. He got it. @Mlle. Zabzie - James also said that The Doctor was not that smart. Anyways - I’m going to go for a walk and then read a book

I wouldn’t know, lol. This is the longest it’s ever taken, and certainly don’t plan on letting this wait any longer The third date would have been difficult, because it would have had to have involved conveniently placed shrubbery.

Well - anyways, after SEXTING last night, oh myyyy, Law Professor is coming over to my place, tomorrow, and he is bringing the sourdough. He truly is hilariously funny, smart as hell, and ridiculously cute, and I am so attracted to him. I have RESTRAINED myself, people!!! This will be the FOURTH DATE!!! I once married a man and stayed married to him for twelve years after random work sex that wasn’t even a date!!!

100% agreed. I mean, you, Toth, kind of remind me of Werther - probably because you’re German, and I think “echtromantishe” is a word, one that I haven’t spelled correctly, I’m sure, but like, Very Romantic on the Romantic Age sense. But, if you haven’t read “The Sorrows of Young Werther” it is about a young man who falls very much in love with lovely Lotte, and there’s a lot of sighing and words and zero physical interaction, but then I think she is somehow unavailable and he kills himself, and while the moral of the story is “is it better to have loved and lost or never to love at all” (which is So Very Toth, the whole philosophizing of love part) but also I think the book might have been banned because young men were literally harming themselves after reading it.

Well, good people! Since I do not have a ring on my finger, I, while at lunch, attracted the attention of Forestry PE Guy. We chatted about his junior investment banker days at SunTrust. We are going to call him “Trey” because if his name does not have III after it, I would eat my Blahniks. He knew my former CEO at Big Tree, who was his boss at SunTrust back in the day. Trey is off to play padel, the latest in racquet sports, while I am off to have a glass of wine at the wine bar while my housekeeper finishes up. I do think that Law Professor is the much better bet, because he is freaking brilliant, has an amazing sense of humor, and Sunday is Date 4, at which I shall finally rip off his clothes…. But since I have not yet ripped off his clothes, nor have we had the exclusivity discussion, I must keep my options open.

I would absolutely nottt go anywhere near climbing on the roof of my house to clean the gutters. I could do most of it standing in a ladder, but there was just one part where my son had to get it because I just couldn’t do it. However, I stood on that 10 foot ladder, so I don’t think it was a fear of heights per se, more like a fear of falling off that roof? So, I’m right there with you.

Cockroaches. Oh, dear god. Aaaaaugh!!!

Apologies. I did not intend to sound hostile. I get a little exasperated probably because I just assume that everyone has read the same depressing stuff that is constantly in the news about dating, starting from the book by the OK Cupid founder and the massive troves of data regarding the dating preferences of men vs women to…..(basically, men pay more attention to women the younger they are, with age 18 being prime age for women, to age 51 being the prime age of contact for men on the same dating apps) all the articles in various magazines on those same massive troves of data, which are all of the exact same thing. (Let’s not forget that the more educated a woman is, the more difficult it is for her to find a partner, because men actually prefer non-educated women, while educated men are preferred by women). And let’s not forget the book by Nancy Jo Sales, which I believe was titled “My Life in the Dating Inferno”. Basically, any single woman over the age of 40 is often hit over the head with “you are more likely to get struck by lightning than to marry a man after age 35” and then once one starts to approach the age of 50, well….might as well get three cats, and good thing you’ve got a great career? We all get told to “lower our standards” when that is the last thing we need to be doing.

As to your last paragraph, you might consider or examine the unexamined stereotypes of which you might be unaware? Men have no societal repercussions to what might be seen as “marrying down”. (Assuming the goal of serious relationship similar to marriage). Have you not possibly noticed any graduate students or administrative assistants throwing themselves at you? And, yes, exceptions happen all the time, but where there’s smoke, there’s often fire. Speaking of fire, as in the FIRES OF PASSION, ahem, Law Professor and I had a delightful walk at the Botanical Garden, or, rather, a bit of a make-out session with some plants involved from 9 am until noon. I have already turned my Match to “private” as I am not shopping and it leaves me cold to get all the random messages.

Wow, you killed my hopes for marriage, right there. Naaaaw, I’m pretty sure I’d still want it most nights

Please don’t focus on “annual trip to Europe” because that’s achievable in the situation in which you describe. But that’s not what I’m aiming for. Going to NYC and wine country a couple times a year, Europe a couple times a year…it’s lifestyle we are discussing, here, not “can he afford a one-week vacation to Europe once a year.” This also ties in with level of socio-economic status / cultural sophistication - someone who doesn’t need to be dragged through a museum. Most guys age 35 (or in your example, 40) who are making $100k / year are not that. I think we have sufficiently established that I am using “income” as a proxy for SES, which, yes, is not always correct. And, no, I do NOT have to lower my standards; I seem to get enough men who meet my standards, and I don’t expect anything of anyone as a partner that is not currently achieved by me. Although if he can cook, that’s a plus

Anyone who behaves badly to service people of any sort shows absolutely no class and is immediately of no interest. It’s a HUGE red flag. It is also on par with “don’t you know who I am?” Which, if that question needs to be asked, no, they don’t know who you are, and it also doesn’t matter, and also, that person asking the question isn’t as important as they think they are. ETA - on the topic of men who make significantly less money - most of them SAY it’s ok, but they can get really defensive about it. Example: my ex husband was initially tooootally cool when my salary surpassed his, but then my career really took off, and his….didn’t. It was very subtle, but he had some very real “issues” about it. Jealousy, almost. There are a number of heterosexual men for whom this is a problem.

Hahahaha!!!! Found that Onion article, where she is also relieved that he is of the same race Statistically, a successful relationship is also within 5 years of one’s age. The Doctor was 7 years older, which wasn’t a huge issue, for me, and we had both had a lot of the same experiences growing up, but he often got a little tetchy that I was in better shape that he was. That kind of bothered him. I’ve noticed anything beyond 10 years in either direction can be difficult. Having gone 15 years in both directions….doomed to failure, for me.

I’ll admit it’s not super hard and fast of a rule - I think only Mr. MBA probably made significantly less. My other men have generally made a lot more, but the whole point is, if I want to go to Europe, or something, I want someone who can reasonably afford to come with me. I also want someone who has a career where if I take them to dinner with a tax or audit partner, or an executive, knows how to behave and can carry on a conversation.