Nihlus

1/10. Utter shit for every character and actor involved.

Ramsay's commando raid alone gets it a 1/10 from me. So fucking stupid. Stannis's character assassination, Jon landing on the wrong side of the Wall for no reason, Doran being an idiot, the pit scene being laughable and robbed of any context and meaning, and the whole Dorne story being completely pointless are just icing on the cake.

Everything about that episode was bad. Aside from Tyene's rack. Still though, it was probably the best one so far. Which is sad. Hey, did anyone else notice how NO ONE remembers Balon? While trying to get the Stannimal to burn Shireen, Mel brings up how her magic killed Robb and Joffrey. Why didn't Stannis say "actually, I just remembered, didn't you say Balon would die too? Like, two years ago? What happened to that guy?"? Show Melisandre wouldn't be able to respond with anything other than "Uh...".

-Dornish fight scene was terrible. Though I liked how Jaime had less trouble with Obara(?) than he did with a random guard. Nice bit of realism. -Dornish talking scenes were terrible. Seriously wtf. -I liked when Bronn punched that One Direction reject in the face. -Arya's scenes were boring. -LF's scene was fucking awful. His plan makes even less sense now. -What is up with Roose? Why are they making him such a pansy? He's not questioning Batfinger (and it seems the show is trying to have Batfinger play him... barf), he's not making any plans to defeat Stannis [despite Stannis having a larger army in this version... half the time], he's not calling additional soldiers to Winterfell... he's not really doing anything. -No North lords. Bleh. -The ending was... bad, though I already saw it coming. -Meh on the Jorah/Tyrion scene. I just recall getting really annoyed when the slaver trash-talked jousting, when that's the most dangerous and useful skill a medieval soldier could possibly have. I'm giving it a 1/10, though I think the episode itself was more like a 3/10.

5/10. We got more Roose and Stannis, there was no King's Landing or Dorne, and it was generally inoffensive. I liked that Roose actually talked about Ramsay's mother, and that Theon FINALLY TALKED. Alfie, Iwan, and Michael can act. Though several scenes in this episode were just stupid and bizarre. In particular the focus on Ramsay's show-only girlfriend. Just... why? Though, like all the other season 5 episodes, I rated it 1/10. Because the average is too high. Anyone who rated any episode of this season a 9 or a 10 needs to get their brain checked, because a 10 is supposed to be a perfect product.

5/10. Not good at all, but not as offensive as the last three episodes. I liked the Unsullied getting slaughtered.

Should there be a battle page for Victarion's reaving in Essos? He DID capture 17 ships, including several war galleys, and put hundreds of slaver soldiers and sailors to the sword.