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Werthead

GOODKIND V

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As for Kirsten, well guess what! Terry helped her write her first two books. Like it or not, Kirsten and Terry are friends and have been for a good long time.

Ah! THAT'S why I found it so hard to pick up her second book...

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Maybe we should point out one of the several Jordan-threads to MyStar, to show what we think of Jordan. I mean, a "discussion" between MyStar and Os (if he were still around) would truly be something to behold. :D

And from what I've seen of Mystar on the boards he posts on (other than his own), he seldom tries to adress the more serious posts and instead focuses on the more non-serious posts (for lack of a better word).

As I've noted before, I'm not convinced that they aren't one and the same for their basic lack of spelling and the insistence on debating with the same form of not being able to accept anyone else's statements and to simply call an opinion, any opinion, baseless if it doesn't have fact.

But that would be mean to Os.

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I know by now most of you are thinking “Wow, Richard is the greatest hero ever! But I still cry myself to sleep at night over how he and Gratch last parted ways.†Well, dry your eyes and prepare for Gratch’s triumphant and heart-wrenching return in today’s Terry Goodkind Quote of the Day! (Oops, just spoiled the ending, sorry)

In todays episode, Richard and Kahlan return to the city of Aydindril in the middle of a big battle. On one side there is the Blood of the Fold, some kind of fanatical militia that’s been duped by Jagang into fighting for him. And the Mriswith. For you poor ignorant bastards out there, the mriswith are really powerful wizards who gave up their power thousands of years ago to turn into lizards that could become invisible (shut up, it makes perfect sense, really). On the other side are Richard’s D’haran forces and some other midland groups, who are losing until Richard shows up.

Richard brought the Sword of Truth up, touching the crimson blade to his forehead. He gave the whole of himself over.

“Blade,†he whispered in supplication, “be true this day.â€

Bringer of death.

“Dance with me, Death,†he murmured. “I am ready.â€

The Seeker’s boots thumped onto the street. Somehow, the instincts of all those who had used the blade before had fused with his own. He wore their knowledge, experience, and skill like a second skin.

He let the magic guide him, but it was driven before the storms of anger, and his will. He turned loose the hunger to kill, and slipped through the lines of men.

Deft as death, his blade found its first mark, and a mriswith went down.

Don’t squander your strength killing those others can kill, the spirit voices told him. Kill only those they can’t.

Richard heeded the voices, and let his inner sense feel the mriswith around him, some concealed in their capes. He danced with death, and death occasionally found them before they saw him coming. He killed without wasted effort or extra thrusts. Each commitment of his blade found flesh.

Richard stalked along the lines, seeking the scaled creatures that led the Blood of the Fold. He felt the heat of the fires as he moved through the streets, hunting. He heard the hisses of surprise as he spun into them. His nostrils filled with the stink of their blood. It became on long blur of fighting. <and reading, snip>

Something brown flashed in his side vision. He heard a howl from a mriswith, but it wasn’t one he killed. He wondered if confusion was what you felt when you died. He was dizzy from spinning, from swinging his sword, form the bone-jarring impacts.

Something huge dropped from above. Then another. Richard tried to wipe mriswith blood out of his eyes in an effort to tell what was happening. All around, mriswith howled.

Richard saw wings. Brown wings. Furry arms were flashing in his vision, twisting off heads. Claws rent scales apart. Fangs ripped into necks.

Richard stumbled back as a huge gar thumped to the ground right in front of him, tumbling the mriswith back.

It was Gratch.

Richard blinked as he glanced around. There were gars everywhere. More were coming, up in the air – that was the spots he had seen.

Gratch heaved a ripped mriswith into the Blood of the Fold, and lunged at another. The gars all around tore into them. More dropped from the darkening sky atop mriswith all along the lines. There were glowing green eyes everywhere. The mriswith shrouded themselves in their capes, becoming invisible, but it did them no good; the gars could still find them. They had nowhere to run.

Richard held the sword in both hands, gawking. Gars roared. Mriswith howled. Richard laughed. <all the men laughed>

Kahlan’s arms clamped around him from behind. “I love you,’ she said in his ear. “I thought I was going to die, and I hadn’t told you.â€

He turned and looked into her wet green eyes. “I love you.â€

<snip, at this point one of the mord sith pops up and explains what the mriswith are, and that Richard’s ancestor, Alric Rahl, had created gars to fight them.>

“Gars…?â€

Berdine nodded. “He gave them the ability to sense mriswith, even when they were invisible. That’s what give the gars’ eyes that green glow. Because of this interrelationship of magic all the gars share, those who dealt directly with the wizards accrued dominance over the others, becoming something like the wizards’ generals among the gar nation. These intermediary gars were greatly respected by the other gars, and got them to fight alongside the people of the New World against the enemy mriswith, driving them back to the Old World.†<blah blah blah>

Glowing green eyes gathered in the square. Richard’s black mood brightened when he saw Gratch’s gruesome grin. He and Kahlan hopped down and hurried to the gar.

It had never felt so good to be enfolded by those furry arms. Richard laughed with tears in his eyes as he was lifted from the ground.

“I love you, Gratch. I love you so much.â€

“Grrratch luuug Raaaach aaarg.†<tee hee hee>

Kahlan joined the hug, and then received her own, separate embrace. “I love you, too, Gratch. You saved Richard’s life. I owe you everything.â€

Gratch gurgled with satisfaction as he stroked a claw down her hair. <yadda yadda yadda>

Richard hugged his friend again. Gratch held him in a long embrace, and then backed away, looking for the other gars.

Richard felt a lump rising in his throat. “Gratch, can you stay?â€

Gratch pointed one claw at Richard, another at Kahlan, and then brought them together. He thumped his chest and then pointed behind at another gar. When it came forward to stand beside him, Richard realized it was a female. <the big gar boobs were a dead give away>

“Gratch, you have a love? Like I have Kahlan?â€

Gratch grinned and thumped at his chest with both claws.

“And you want to be with the gars†Richard said.

Gratch nooded reluctantly, his smile faltering.

Richard put on his best smile. “I think that’s wonderful, my friend. You deserve to be with your love, and your new friends. But you can still visit us. We would love to have you and your friend any time. All of you, in fact. You’re all welcome here.â€

<The Mad Moose vomits violently all over his computer>

~Terry Goodkind, Blood of the fold

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If simplicity of prose can be considered an art form then Terry Goodkind is a master.

Another great QotD Mad Moose be careful not to slip up on that vomit puddle you've created.

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:rofl: Beautiful! Just beautiful! I'd be hard pressed to find my favourite bit, but this sentence stands out:

that was the spots he had seen.

Please tell me that was just a transcription error! Surely TG wouldn't mess up such a simple subject-verb agreement!

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:rofl: Beautiful! Just beautiful! I'd be hard pressed to find my favourite bit, but this sentence stands out:

Please tell me that was just a transcription error! Surely TG wouldn't mess up such a simple subject-verb agreement!

That one jumped out at me when I typed it, so I checked twice, and thats the way its written. I guess this is what he was thanking his editor for.

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:o:o:o:o

Why do so many of these quotes sound like a really bad Saturday morning cartoon?

I read Blood of the Fold a long time ago, actuallly, and I don't remember it being quite that stupid. I guess time has dulled the pain. The thing that really makes me laugh, though, is that after all this wonderful worldbuilding about gars and mriswith... they never appeared again. At least not as of book 6, which was when I finally gave up. As far as I know, they were never even mentioned again.

ETA: Something just occurred to me: Where the hell did the Mord-Sith learn all that obscure history anyway? I mean, I don't think even Zedd was aware of that gar stuff.

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Gratch’s gruesome grin

:lmao: Alliterative oxymoron? I love this part.

The rest of the gar deus ex machina seems a little sloppy though. I always feel like that when someone wins because of that kickass ability everyone knew he had, even if he never used and never spoke about it before.

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Is there a <snip> or two missing from that quote? Richard is dancing with death, and conserving his life bar for the boss battle, then all of a sudden Gars are all around him, and then Kahlan is hugging him. It seems rather abrupt, even for Goodkind.

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:sick: :sick: :sick: :sick:

That was some poorly written fighting - very obvious that TG has done next to no research on the use of weapons on large scale combat... (for further info, check the fantasy pet peeves thread - there are 3 or 4 posts on this type of issue)

just the sort of thing you'd expect from a D&D game run by a 14 year old...

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:o:o:o:o

Why do so many of these quotes sound like a really bad Saturday morning cartoon?

I read Blood of the Fold a long time ago, actuallly, and I don't remember it being quite that stupid. I guess time has dulled the pain. The thing that really makes me laugh, though, is that after all this wonderful worldbuilding about gars and mriswith... they never appeared again. At least not as of book 6, which was when I finally gave up. As far as I know, they were never even mentioned again.

Saturday morning cartoons are generally much better written than this crap.

You're right, the gars and the mriswith vanish after this. Maybe later the gars will show up in the last book to destroy the Imperial Order just before Jagang succeeds in taking over the world or something. Wouldn't shock me.

Is there a <snip> or two missing from that quote? Richard is dancing with death, and conserving his life bar for the boss battle, then all of a sudden Gars are all around him, and then Kahlan is hugging him. It seems rather abrupt, even for Goodkind.

The "snip" comes after the "long blur of fighting", its a big snip, and a lot of unnecessary crap was removed, lots of Richards fighting, during which time he's simultaneously worrying about Kahlan's safety and bemoaning the fact that he didn't tell her how much he loved her twenty more times before they were separated. Somehow he is able to daydream about her while killing invisible lizard-men. Go Seeker!

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It had never felt so good to be enfolded by those furry arms. Richard laughed with tears in his eyes as he was lifted from the ground.

“I love you, Gratch. I love you so much.â€

“Grrratch luuug Raaaach aaarg.†<tee hee hee>

Kahlan joined the hug, and then received her own, separate embrace. “I love you, too, Gratch. You saved Richard’s life. I owe you everything.â€

Gratch gurgled with satisfaction as he stroked a claw down her hair.

It's not just Kahlan! See! They're all sluts.

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It's not just Kahlan! See! They're all sluts.

If I had written this book, Gratch's lady love's name would be Snatch. "Snatch luuugg Raaach aarg!"

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That last quote of the day was one of the funniest things I have ever read. I literally am crying with laughter as I write this. Where does he get this stuff?

Gar love?

That's kinda like Sam meeting up with Bill the pony at the end of Lord of the Rings and finding out that Bill has a pony wife.

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Richard put on his best smile. “I think that’s wonderful, my friend. You deserve to be with your love, and your new friends. But you can still visit us. We would love to have you and your friend any time. All of you, in fact. You’re all welcome here.â€

TG writes what is true and real. I can't tell you how many times I've invited my giant, winged, invisible lizard-wizard killing, dim-witted friend and his wife over for bar-b-que. :rofl:

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Richard put on his best smile. “I think that’s wonderful, my friend. You deserve to be with your love, and your new friends. But you can still visit us. We would love to have you and your friend any time. All of you, in fact. You’re all welcome here.â€

<The Mad Moose vomits violently all over his computer>

~Terry Goodkind, Blood of the fold

I'm glad to see that Richard has evidently found time to grade the quality of his various smiles.

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I'm glad to see that Richard has evidently found time to grade the quality of his various smiles.

As does Kahlan. She frequently gives Richard her "special smile".

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I have a picture in my head of it being more of a fancy reception:

ANNOUNCER: 'Lord and Lady Blah Blah from the Midlands.'

They enter smiling looking very smart in the finest atire money can buy.

ANNOUNCER: 'Gratch the Gar and his lady wife Snatch.'

The pair of giant winged, furry monsters with gore dripping from their long sharp teeth and claws enter the ballroom.

GRATCH: 'Graaatch luuug Raaaach aaarg!'

ANNOUNCER: 'Errr, yes indeed.'

SNATCH: 'Raaach aaaarg, widddh dhis Ferrier Roche, oog rhhaaallly sssspoilllin usssss.'

Richard laughed, the Gars laughed, everybody laughed - even Lord and Lady Blah Blah laughed. Except the Announcer, he just shook his head and thought 'think of the money man, think of the money.'

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