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Balon was a joke!


Joseph Stark

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The Balon that we meet through Theon is angry bitter pathetic old man. He hates Theon because he is a reminder of his own failure since it was his defeat and his disgrace that his son and heir was taken from him and raised by his enemy. Just look at his master plan....he waits until the men resoponsible for his defeat are dead and then waits for the right time and invades the North with his whole force against a lightly held wooden castle in the middle of nowhere and a ruin. Thats it....it was Theons later action that brought about the fall of winterfell and the occupation of Torrhens square. This was no more then a pathetic f*** you to Ned from a bitter vengeful spiteful old coward.

The ironborn are so much better off and stronger without him and look how much they have already accomplished more then Balon did and thats without use of the Iron Fleet.

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I never got Balon's hate for Theon. He was sexist ,live everyday like it was your last, gold before values kind of kid. Is not exactly what the Ironborn are about?

In short, Balon was a dick.

Here's Balon's rational for why he hated Theon: Theon, as far as he could tell, was soft. Maybe there was some truth to that, but it's not like Balon was an exceptionally hard man. He thought this because Theon had basically grown up on the mainland. Balon believes in the old Ironborn tenant of taking what is yours, i.e. a plundering, Viking-like existence. In his eyes, Theon had become some pampered softy. For example, he saw Theon wearing some fancy clothes and was livid when he discovered Theon had been given them as opposed to taking them from some vanquished foe. According to Balon, Theon was everything an Ironborn man shouldn't be.

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I always saw the Greyjoys as the most unlikeable great house in the series. They waited until the North was at their weakest and attacked with their full force. This is a smart move but it screams coward. Balon was one of my most hated characters, and I, like many others, didn't care when he died in ASOS.


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Balon does come off as Walder lite in some ways. More ambitious though. Walder wanted to raise his family's staus through arranged marriages, at least Balon DREAMED of doing it through conquest.



My big sticking point with Balon is that he TALKS a big talk about how, they do not sow, they take what they want, pay the iron price, yadda yadda yadda...but when it comes right down to it? He's JUST as quick to bend the knee as anybody else. Sure, they'll steal what they want from others who are better at creating wealth, and they'll brag about it to anybody who will listen, but only until they get their asses kicked. Bent the knee for Robert. Did it again when his rebellion failed. Only wanted to try again when he thought everyone was too busy to stop him. Classic bullies.



If he had lived, Balon would have surely bent the knee again for Tommen and bitched to his buddies the whole way home how he had the Lannisters quaking in their boots the entire time.


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The part that gets me is that Theon proves himself to all the Ironborn by taking the capital of the north with a rag tag army. Balon should of sucked up his pride and forgave Theon. All he had to do is send 500 archers to Winterfell and his war was won. I mean Theon payed the iron price for Winterfell and then gets made fun of by his sister(who took a wooden fort with 5x the men) and his father (who did nothing except come up with a shitty plan).


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The part that gets me is that Theon proves himself to all the Ironborn by taking the capital of the north with a rag tag army. Balon should of sucked up his pride and forgave Theon. All he had to do is send 500 archers to Winterfell and his war was won. I mean Theon payed the iron price for Winterfell and then gets made fun of by his sister(who took a wooden fort with 5x the men) and his father (who did nothing except come up with a shitty plan).

In fairness though I doubt there was anywhere near enough time for Balon to send reinforcements to Theon

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The part that gets me is that Theon proves himself to all the Ironborn by taking the capital of the north with a rag tag army. Balon should of sucked up his pride and forgave Theon. All he had to do is send 500 archers to Winterfell and his war was won. I mean Theon payed the iron price for Winterfell and then gets made fun of by his sister(who took a wooden fort with 5x the men) and his father (who did nothing except come up with a shitty plan).

This... i was scratching my head at Asha's taunting. Theon took the capital. How is that not a win for every IB ever?

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Did Balon himself *actually* steal his wardrobe off corpses he'd made? I doubt it.



I am an ironborn hater and agree that Balon was a caricature. I get all the reasons why he hated Theon and the North etc but he was nothing but an embittered wannabe Viking.



I will give him credit for two things:



  1. Favoring Asha. That is really progressive, all considered. I get she was his only living child aside from Theon, but most "green land" lords would have favored a bastard or a ward and used Asha to pass power to his chosen candidate.
  2. Putting Theon in the room where the River King's young sons were killed (presumably in violation of guest right, which echoes the Frey comparison). I thought it was great, just like the most disturbing part of The Princess and the Queen. Perhaps I am just a proponent of mental torture.

I hope the Iron Islands blow up. Like, volcanic eruption, Hardhome 2.0. Which I guess could happen since the Doom of Value Valyria is linked thematically with magic and I'm sure those dreadful deadlocks are up to something. But probably not. :(



Edit: Auto correct fail.


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No surprise there we all know he was a joke. The moment i read about him sending tywin a letter for an alliance it was just confirmed to me that this man is a complete idiot. All that crap about taking his throne and paying the iron price,when he was even more sacred of tywin than he may have been of robert and ned. He tries the conquer the north and his son gives him the captial, what does he do? He says the boy is a fool and asha basically complains about leaving her conquest the same way theon did.



He had moat colin he had winterfell and what does he do, He does nothing at all. Seriously as much as i hate Euron he was a vast improvement from Balon and don't let me get started on Vic the stump.


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The part that gets me is that Theon proves himself to all the Ironborn by taking the capital of the north with a rag tag army. Balon should of sucked up his pride and forgave Theon. All he had to do is send 500 archers to Winterfell and his war was won. I mean Theon payed the iron price for Winterfell and then gets made fun of by his sister(who took a wooden fort with 5x the men) and his father (who did nothing except come up with a shitty plan).

I think he'll be remembered in songs. It was clever and brave. But so, so wrong.

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