Darth Visenya Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 I'm not sure this qualifies as 'dating' in any way whatsoever but me and my partner had someone else 'join' us this weekend and it did me the World of good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larry of the Lawn Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 I'm not sure this qualifies as 'dating' in any way whatsoever but me and my partner had someone else 'join' us this weekend and it did me the World of good. Boooooyah!!!! Good on you and your close ones! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brook Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 Dating or not I'm glad it worked for you :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karaddin Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 I find myself wondering if it was the coffee girl :p Glad it's helped things! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Visenya Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 I find myself wondering if it was the coffee girl :P Glad it's helped things! No it wasn't the coffee girl :(, on the other hand she was great fun and exactly what I needed, we will be keeping in touch :blush:. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karaddin Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 No it wasn't the coffee girl :(, on the other hand she was great fun and exactly what I needed, we will be keeping in touch :blush:. Like :p Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KatieG Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 I've been watching this thread with interest. I've never dated in my life. I've had three long term relationships (1.5 years in college, 17 year marriage, just got dumped by my boyfriend of almost 2 years). Each one never really involved "dating" and I'd like to try this mysterious thing. I am most definitely not looking for any kind of relationship right now, just some fun. Not interested in anything involving the internet (Met my ex-husband that way and never again!). Things in my way include: 1. I don't know where to go or what to do. What few female friends I have are married, so don't have a group I could hang out with in a bar or whatever. 2. I'm 40 years old and, well, only marginally attractive is how I would put it. Unfortunately I tend to be fairly picky about who I am attracted to also, making it even harder to find someone I am attracted to that is also attracted to me. 3. I'm very shy when it comes to meeting new people. I need some kind of icebreaker. In the past it was gaming (started two of my three relationships that way), but because my ex-bf and I were in the same gaming circles I can't use that as an icebreaker anymore. And to be honest no one in our gaming circles interests me at all. I've been looking for new hobbies where I could get out and meet people using something like meetup I just so far haven't had the time to make too many of them yet. Thoughts, suggestions, etc.? I'm seeing people that are talking about multiple dates in a week, I've never had the opportunity to date more than one person at a time! And how do I keep it casual? I'm not ready for another relationship yet, but I could probably use the distraction of maybe flirting and dating to help me forget my ex. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prince Alexander Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 I've been watching this thread with interest. I've never dated in my life. I've had three long term relationships (1.5 years in college, 17 year marriage, just got dumped by my boyfriend of almost 2 years). Each one never really involved "dating" and I'd like to try this mysterious thing. I am most definitely not looking for any kind of relationship right now, just some fun. Not interested in anything involving the internet (Met my ex-husband that way and never again!). Things in my way include: 1. I don't know where to go or what to do. What few female friends I have are married, so don't have a group I could hang out with in a bar or whatever. 2. I'm 40 years old and, well, only marginally attractive is how I would put it. Unfortunately I tend to be fairly picky about who I am attracted to also, making it even harder to find someone I am attracted to that is also attracted to me. 3. I'm very shy when it comes to meeting new people. I need some kind of icebreaker. In the past it was gaming (started two of my three relationships that way), but because my ex-bf and I were in the same gaming circles I can't use that as an icebreaker anymore. And to be honest no one in our gaming circles interests me at all. I've been looking for new hobbies where I could get out and meet people using something like meetup I just so far haven't had the time to make too many of them yet. Thoughts, suggestions, etc.? I'm seeing people that are talking about multiple dates in a week, I've never had the opportunity to date more than one person at a time! And how do I keep it casual? I'm not ready for another relationship yet, but I could probably use the distraction of maybe flirting and dating to help me forget my ex. Casual as in friend with benefits type deal, or one night stands? I'd say take some latin dancing classes, and go out social dancing, there is a variety of men of all ethnicities/ages/preferences who will be happy to accomodate, they are typically not pushy at all, anyone doing social dancing knows not to be too agressive because that's a quick way to ruin your reputation. If you like someone, you can indicate that you do, and take it from there. The physical contact will also help with your being shy. Go to the gym, start doing sports, if you feel not too attractive, work on that, it will give you confidence. Dating for women in their 40s gets pretty difficult depending on the area, but at the same time if you're not looking for LTR you should have lots of fun and easy time having casual relationships. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prince Alexander Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 Unsurprisingly I disagree with PA, or at least I argue against that advice applying to everyone. Brook and I broke pretty much every rule he listed and it worked for us, which you could argue he allowed for with the "getting lucky" bit, however if either of us had tried any of that and followed his rules there wouldn't have been a second date so I don't think it is. I'll admit the person I want is atypical of who you normally run into on the dating scene, but if you want someone who doesn't play into that it's best not to use that behaviour yourself.I also think saying women face no pressures in dating is just a little simplistic and self absorbed. I don't think you fully read my post, I address all of those points. Straight women who date straight men do have an easier time of it, IMO. I could probably find someone in 10 minutes of walking into a bar if I *just* wanted sex. I used to play a game with myself of picking out the hottest guy at the party or bar (subjective, I know) and seeing if I could take him home. I had a 100% success rate. If he had a girlfriend, as happened once, I took her home, too! You will be hard pressed to find a guy who is not dtf a highly desirable woman. Even if they are monogomous in a relationship, a high quality woman will have an easy time seducing them. A ryan gosling type man will also have a pretty easy time dating but not nearly as easy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lily Valley Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 I'm not sure this qualifies as 'dating' in any way whatsoever but me and my partner had someone else 'join' us this weekend and it did me the World of good. All Hail the All-Healing Three-Way! Congrats! Glad your third wasn't a dud! :cheers: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Disturber of Peace Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 Ini,I think it is worthy to note that with a more direct text or phone call you are not only combating against a "polite" person who does not like you so much to refuse you. That way you are also fighting against psychological mechanisms which lead people to do the foolproof thing, the one that will most surely be comfortable, and not make a change taking a risk.The person who you ask out again could be feeling a bit insecure and prefering to rather stay at home to watch their favourite TV show and pet mr. Cuddles. But if they ended up on a date with you they could be glad within the first minutes of it and your slight push could just make that happen.In all fairness, i would be the one who stays at home and browses the webs/studies/does miss Pillow/goes out for a walk. But i do not really want to date atm so i would not be in such a contradiction Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Visenya Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 All Hail the All-Healing Three-Way! Congrats! Glad your third wasn't a dud! :cheers: She was far from it, if only my partner was THAT assertive, she would be perfect :love:. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karaddin Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 Oh now that is a telling comment! I get where that's coming from :p Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Visenya Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 Oh now that is a telling comment! I get where that's coming from :P Fortunately she doesn't have an account here :P. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karaddin Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 Fortunately she doesn't have an account here :P. My gf does though! :leaving: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Visenya Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 My gf does though! :leaving: You shouldn't have told her about the place :P, although my gf is actually a fan of ASoIaF and a huge Stark fangirl so I may still get caught out :P. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brook Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 I see through your attempts to fire me up :p Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karaddin Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 I merely thought you would agree! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Visenya Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 I see through your attempts to fire me up :P I merely thought you would agree! If you two are having issues I can recommend someone who can help you out :P. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brook Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 That depends, who pays for the flight? :p Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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