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Moosicus

GOODKIND X: Lemmings of Discord

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The more I read of him the more convinced I am that Terry Goodkind is the Jim Hacker of Fantasy writers. Sadly there are no sir Humphrey Appleby, and even more sadly, no Bernard Wooley to point out at his nonsensical style.

A Goodkind/Yes Minister crossover does have a certain appeal. Hm....

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I bet Richard could make one sentence last for 20 pages, using some Yogic circular breathing technique that he learnt through the sword. I'm not going to even attempt that one!

Lions - Truth or Discord? Yes, the females do all the hunting, but the male lion is still king of the pack, even though he sits on his arse all day (waiting for his pack to prove themselves worthy, no doubt). Male lions also kill the cubs of rivals. Looking pretty truthy to me.

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Good morning and welcome to the Terry Goodkind Quote of the Day, which today is entitled “Lightsnake is going to pay for this request†or “Drefan visits a hooker.†There isn’t really any intro necessary, this is a real stand-alone chapter. I can already taste the bile at the top of my throat. Warning: Level 4 vomit alert!

It was late. It would be several hours yet before the sun was up. With the walls painted red, the candles set before silvered reflectors at either end of the narrow hall were able to provide precious little useful light. He liked it that way – the way the comforting cloak of shadows in the pit of the night lent its mood to such nefarious needs.

Debauchery was best indulged in the night. In the darkness. <Here we go.>

He stood awhile in the quiet obscurity of the hall, savoring his desire. It had been too long. He let his lust have rein, and felt its glorious, wanton ache fill him.

<Snip, goes into one of the whores rooms>

Behind the door, the woman was just pulling her panties up her legs. She spread her knees and squatted a bit, drawing them up tight against herself. When her sky-blue eyes finally turned up to look at him, her only reaction was to toss the sides of her robe together over the rest of her bare body and casually flip the silk belt together into a loose knot.

<Snip>

“I thought I was finished for the night,†she said. Her words came out silky smooth, with a pleasant, pert lilt, but bore no real interest at the prospect of another man this late.

“I think I’m the last,†he said, trying to sound apologetic so as not to anger her. It wasn’t as satisfying if they were angry. He like nothing more than when they were eager to please.

She sighed. “All right, then.â€

<Snip>

Her body was shapely and firm, with long legs and wonderfully formed breasts, at least what he had seen of her body before she had thrown closed her robe. He would see it again, and could wait.

The anticipation added to his excitement. Unlike her other men, he was in no rush to have it over. Once it began, it would be over all too quickly. He could never stop himself, once it began. For the moment, he would relish all the little details, so that he could capture them in his memory for all time.

She was more than simply pretty, he decided. She was a creature possessed of features that would fire men’s minds with obsessive memories of her, and make them return time and time again to try, if only for fleeting moments, to possess her.

<snip>

She tilted her head toward the bed. “You going to take off your clothes, or what?â€

He said nothing, but gestured to her robe. He watched her slip loose the knot from the satin belt.

“Have it your way,’ she said, as she shrugged the robe open just enough to tempt him into getting on with it.

“I’d like…I’d like you to enjoy it, too.â€

She lifted an eyebrow. “Darling, don’t you worry about me. I’ll enjoy it just fine. You’ll no doubt thrill me. But you’re the one who paid for it. Let’s just worry about your pleasure.â€

He liked to hear the tempered thread of sarcasm in her voice. She cloaked it well with a breathy tone, and others might have missed it, but he had been listening for it.

<Snip. He puts some gold coins down for her.>

“I’d like you to enjoy yourself. I’m willing to pay to see you enjoying yourself.â€

“Darling, for that much, you’ll remember my screams until you’re an old man.â€

Of that, he was sure.

She smiled her best smile, and slipped off the robe. Gazing at him with her big, sky-blue eyes, she blindly hung the robe on a peg in the back of the door.

She stroked his chest and then circled her arms around his waist. Gently but deliberately, she squashed her firm breasts against him.

“So what is it you want, darling? Some nice clawmarks down your back to make your young lady jealous?â€

“No,†he said. “No, I just want to see you enjoying it. You’re so fair of face and figure. I think that if you’re paid well enough, you’ll enjoy your part, that’s all. I want to know that you’re enjoying yourself.â€

She eyed the coins and then smiled up at him. “Oh, I will, darling. I promise. I’m a very talented whore.â€

“That was what I was hoping.â€

“I want you to be so pleased with my charms that you will want to return to my bed.â€

“You seem to be reading my mind.’

“My name is Rose,†she whispered in her breathy voice.

“A name as beautiful as you are.†And as unoriginal.

“And yours? What should I call you when you call on me regularly, as I’m already aching for you to do?â€

“I like the name you’ve already given me. I like the sound of it on your lips.â€

She licked her lips for him. “Glad to meet you, darling.â€

He slipped a finger under the waist of her panties.

“Can I have these?â€

She ran her fingers down his belly, performing a moan at the feel of him.

“It’s the end of a long day. These aren’t exactly…clean. I have some clean ones in my trunk. For what you’ve paid, you can have as many of them as you wish. Darling, you can have them all, if you wish." <Barf>

“These will do fine. I only need these.â€

She smirked up at him. “I see. Like that, is it?â€

He didn’t answer.

“Why don’t you take them off me,†she teased. “Take you prize.â€

“I’d like to watch you do it.â€

Without hesitation, she slipped them down her legs as dramatically as she could. She pressed herself up against him again and, looking into his eyes, stroked his cheek with her panties. She smiled wickedly and then pushed them into his hand.

“Here you go. Just for you, darling. Just the way you like them – with the scent of Rose.†<Vomit>

He worked them in his fingers, feeling the warmth of her still in them. She stretched up to kiss him. If he hadn’t known better, known what she was, he might have thought she wanted him more than anything else in life. But he would please her.

“What do you want me to do for you?†she whispered. “Name it, and it’s yours – and I don’t make that offer to my other men. But I want you so badly. Anything. Just tell me.â€

He could smell the sweat of the other men on her. He could smell the stink of their lust on her.

“Let’s just see how things work out, shall we, Rose?â€

“Anything you say, darling.†She smiled dreamily. “Anything.â€

<Snip>

“Your hands are trembling.â€

They always did, until he started. Then, they were rock steady. Once he started, he would be steady. It was just the anticipation.

“I’m sorry.â€

A throaty, lusty laugh came from deep in her throat. “Don’t be. It excites me that you would be nervous.â€

He wasn’t nervous. Not in the least, but he was excited.

Her hands found that he was. “I want to taste you.†She licked his ear. “I have no one else tonight. We have all the time we want to enjoy this.â€

“I know,†he whispered back. “That’s why I wanted to be last.â€

“Yes,†she teased, “I want it to last, too. Can you make it last, darling?â€

“I can, and I will,†he promised. “a long time.â€

She let out a purr of satisfaction at his promise, and turned in his arms, pressing her bottom against him. She arched her back and rocked her heads against his chest as she moaned again. He kept the smirk from his face as he looked down into her sky-blue eyes.

Yes, she was a talented whore.

He slid his hand down her lower spine, counting her vertebrae, fingering the spaces between them. She moaned urgently at his touch.

Because of the way she swayed her bottom, he missed the spot he wanted.

She staggered.

The second time he slammed the knife into her lower back, he hit the right spot, between the vertebrae, severing her spinal cord.

He swept an arm around her middle to hold her up. The shocked, grunting moan was real, this time. Anyone in the other rooms wouldn’t think it any different from the sounds she regularly made for men. Others didn’t notice such details.

He did, and savored the difference.

As her mouth widened to scream, he stuffed it full with the wadded ball of her dirty underpants. He timed it just right, so only the cry of the gasp sounded, before the pitch rose. He yanked the silk tie form her robe on the peg beside him and whirled it round her head four times to hold the gag in her mouth. With one hand, and the aid of his teeth, he drew it tight and knotted it.

He would have liked to have listened to her heartfelt screams, but that would bring a premature end to their pleasure. He loved the screams, the cries. They were always sincere.

He pressed his mouth against the side of her head. He could smell the sweat of men in her hair.

“Oh, Rosa, you are going to please me so. You are going to give me more pleasure than you’ve ever given any man before. I want you to enjoy it, too. I know this is what you always wanted. I’m the man you’ve been waiting for. I’ve come at last."

He let her slip to the floor. Her legs were useless, now. She wasn’t going anywhere.

She tried to punch him between his legs. He caught her dainty little fist in his hand. He watched her wide, sky-blue eyes as he pressed open her fist. He held her palm between his thumb and a finger, and bent it down until the bones in her wrist snapped.

He used the arms of her robe to bind her hands, so that she couldn’t pull the gag from her mouth. His heart hammered as he listened to her muffled wails. He couldn’t understand the words against the gag, but they heightened his excitement because he could feel their pain.

A storm of emotion rampaged through his mind. At least the voices were silent, for now, leaving him to his lust. He wasn’t sure what the voices were, but he was sure that he was only able to hear them because of his singular intellect; he was able to seine such evanescent messages from the ethers because of his incomparable perception, and because he minded the details.

Tears flooded down her face. Her perfectly plucked brows bunched together, lifting in the middle, furrowing the skin on her forehead into neat rows. He counted them, because he was special.

With wide, anguished, sky-blue eyes, she watched as he removed his clothes and set them aside. It would do to have them soaked in blood.

The knife was rock steady in his hand now. He stood above her, naked and erect, to show her what a good job she was doing for him, so far.

And then he began.

<And then, I vomited once again.>

~Terry Goodkind, Temple of the Winds

Sorry guys. I hope nobody had breakfast yet.

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Eek. No, that's certainly not Fantasy. Most porn writers would be ashamed of that...

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:sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick:

Any more arguments needed for TG enjoying rape scenes?

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QOTD: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick:

It's not so much the unpleasant content - we've all read worse I'm sure, but rahter the poor writing (well, it is TG) and hte way he seems to relish writing such a scene.

also:

casually flip the silk belt together into a loose knot.

slip loose the knot from the satin belt.

make up your mind mate, is it silk or satin? doesn't he reread his stuff before sending it off for printing?

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:sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick:

Well, at least she wasn't able to stand up and swing a sword at him after he'd severed her spinal cord.

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Are gerbils good or evil in Yeardism?

Yeah I know it's random. Sorry.

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Why did he stab her in the back to sever her spine, but only then took off his clothes to avoid getting blood on them? Surely the front of his clothes would have been soaked already, considering she was pressed up against him at the time.

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Why did he stab her in the back to sever her spine, but only then took off his clothes to avoid getting blood on them? Surely the front of his clothes would have been soaked already, considering she was pressed up against him at the time.

You're applying logic to TG (BBNC)'s work. Shame on you.

make up your mind mate, is it silk or satin? doesn't he reread his stuff before sending it off for printing?

You should know better as well.

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Did anyone notice what color the girl's eyes were? I must've missed it.

And what's with the voices thing? Didn't the serial killer in the other book hear voices and think he was some kind of genius too? These are different characters right?

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Did anyone notice what color the girl's eyes were? I must've missed it.

And what's with the voices thing? Didn't the serial killer in the other book hear voices and think he was some kind of genius too? These are different characters right?

I think the eye color might have been mentioned, but I'm too lazy to check.

Different characters, but I think it might be the same voice. Not too sure. Some of Darken Rahl's kids are pretty fucked up. That is to say, all of his kids are pretty fucked up.

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Ha, good spot on the sky-blueness, cos we really needed to have that pointed out... HOW many times?

Regarding gerbils, I'm not sure. They are social animals, which speaks of discord, but on the other hand if a gerbil's original set of friends (or family) die, then it will attack any other gerbil that comes near it... sounds rather like a certain Mr Rahl to me... I say gerbils go for Truth, and then we can have hamsters for Discord (because I wouldn't want to think I had an enemy agent living in a cage in my living room...)

ETA - just counted the sky-blues. That's FIVE times he had to mention it...

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I saw an Orbit gum commercial on TV last night. Snoop Dog went to hell for his dirty mouth. The lovely Vanessa shows up to rescue him - the gum was supposed to clean his mouth I guess. What caught my attention was that Vanessa was accompanied by a goat on this noble rescue mission. It only had one horn, making it a unigoat or something.

So has TG influenced the makers of Orbit commercials or is the nobility of the goat a universal truth that I missed out on until these TG threads? Is a unigoat more noble than a normal goat? I guess it would depend on whether unicorns are good or evil. From what I recall unicorns are solitary creatures, letting no man touch them much less ride (control) them. The only exception they made was for virgin girls I believe. Seems like this would qualify the unicorn as good in TG's world. Would that make the unigoat more noble than either a goat or a unicorn? Thoughts?

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nd then we can have hamsters for Discord

nah, Hamsters are antisocial wee buggers (well, towards each other anyway) so I'd say they batted for the side of Right and Reason... unklike those Communist-Hippy-Comune living Gerbils...

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Mindonner vomited, Mad Moose vomited, everyone vomited...

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Can we have Gerbils of Undecisiveness?

Any special reason for that Drefan guy going and maiming prostitutes? In the plot I mean?

(Oops. I used the bad P word in a Goodkind thread)

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I was really worried about what direction the gerbil comments were going to take. Let's hope we never find out what side the gerbils and hamsters are on. TG (BBNC) just might show us.

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I'm gonna go whip myself in penance. But, one must admit, TG's true colors shine through.

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I was really worried about what direction the gerbil comments were going to take.

so what you are saying is that if they wrap themselves in Duck Tape and sodomise themselves on Richard's mighty Sword of Truth then they are creatures of Right...

Whereas if they crawl up cardboard tubes and attempt to anally Rape Kahlan then they are Evil and must be destroyed.

or am I getting confused duel to my lack of moral celery?

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