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BranTheBuilder

G--DK-ND(BBHN)XI

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Well, I think it's fair to say that there are some moderate fans of Goodkind. It seems unfair to gang all the poor souls Goodkind has tainted in the same group ( despite whatever I may insinuate on the GioG forums ;). )

Of course there are "moderate" fans of TG. Power to them. They undoubtly enjoy the books for the sword and sorcery fantasy fiction that they are. But that poses the question, if that's what the "moderate" fans enjoy about the works of Mr. Terry Goodkind, are they truly fans based on comments made by the author himself...?

It's a riddle wrapped in an enigma surrounded by a conumdrum... :P

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Many of the people who read Goodkind don't pick up on the ridiculous philosophy, gloss over the glaring plot errors and weak characterization, and read them as light fantasy books.

I did, for a while, til I happened to read a Goodkind interview and saw the man's unbounded ego.

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Many of the people who read Goodkind don't pick up on the ridiculous philosophy, gloss over the glaring plot errors and weak characterization, and read them as light fantasy books.

I did, for a while, til I happened to read a Goodkind interview and saw the man's unbounded ego.

There in lies the problem though. These folks read the books because they profess to like them (I reference my friend up thread) aren't even considered true fans by the author because they don't pick up on the ridiculous philosophy! :lol:

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"The magic in my world is incidental to the story"

"By showing idealised forms of heroes, you're giving people a template of how to think about life... when you read a story about someone who's doing the right thing, doing the noble thing [again with the things!] ... you understand what a noble person is, what a hero is..."

"Richard... acts in the way I would act"

Also, you can tell Richard is a good person because he "looks into people's eyes when he talks to them"

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Oh, my ears!

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Too bad that true heroes in real life all die seconds after they try to draw on their thing for magical assistance, leaving all of us non-heroes to deal with reality and compromise, heh?

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sorry, I had to turn that video off after 2 minutes... I felt ILL :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick:

has he read his books??

'cos what he was saying bears no relationship to what we have seen!

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Richard acts the way he would act?

Please, nobody ever give that man a sword. Or leave him in the company of a woman, for that matter.

Now, anybody got a suggestion for today's song parody?

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Considering the topic of Terry Goodkind's promotional interview I think that it would be interesting a parody of Bonnie Tyler's "Holding out for a Hero". :P

Here you have the original lyrics, don't tell me they do not fit our favourite war wizards:

Where have all the good men gone

And where are all the gods?

Where's the street-wise Hercules

To fight the rising odds?

Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?

Late at night I toss and turn and dream

of what I need

[Chorus]

I need a hero

I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night

He's gotta be strong

And he's gotta be fast

And he's gotta be fresh from the fight

I need a hero

I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light

He's gotta be sure

And it's gotta be soon

And he's gotta be larger than life

Somewhere after midnight

In my wildest fantasy

Somewhere just beyond my reach

There's someone reaching back for me

Racing on the thunder end rising with the heat

It's gonna take a superman to sweep me off my feet

[Chorus]

Up where the mountains meet the heavens above

Out where the lightning splits the sea

I would swear that there's someone somewhere

Watching me

Through the wind end the chill and the rain

And the storm and the flood

I can feel his approach

Like the fire in my blood

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Nicci’s a crazy bitch. Today’s Terry Goodkind Quote of the Day gives another example of her crazy bitchiness. In this scene, the Imperial Order has taken control of Anderith and is bringing its usual crap to the people; rape, murder, torture etc. Nicci is at one town with commander Kadar Kardeef and a bunch of soldiers interrogating a little family in front of the rest of the townspeople, but Nicci decides the family’s little girl has lice and needs a wash and a haircut.

“Where is there a washtub?â€

Surprised by the question, the woman pointed a trembling finger toward a two-story building not far off. ‘There, Mistress. In the yard behind the pottery shop are laundry tubs where we were washing clothes.â€

Nicci seized the woman by her throat. “Get me a pair of scissors. Bring them to me there.†The woman stared in wide-eyed fright. Nicci shoved her. “Now! Or would you prefer to die on the spot?â€

Nicci yanked free a well-worn, reserve studded strap bunched with several others and secured over Commander Kardeef’s shoulder. He made no effort to stop her, but as she gathered up the strap, he seized her upper arm in his powerful grip.

“You had better be planning on drowning this little brat – or maybe cutting off hunks of her hide and then stabbing out her eyes.†His breath smelled of onion and ale. <Not moral celery, that’s for sure.> He smirked. “In fact, you start in on her, and while she’s screaming and begging for her life, I’ll begin separating out some young men, or perhaps I’ll select some women to be an example. Which would you prefer, this time?â€

<Snip, let the shampoo begin!!>

Nicci pulled the girl’s head up out of the water, and while she sputtered and gasped for air, began clipping her dark, soaking wet hair close to the scalp. When Nicci had finished cutting it off in sodden clumps, she dunked the girl again while leaning over and scooping up a cake of pale yellow soap from the washboard on the ground beside the tub. Nicci hauled the girl’s head up and then began scrubbing. The girl screeched, flailing her spindly arms and clawing at the strap around her neck by which Nicci controlled her. Nicci realized she was probably hurting her, but from within the grip of rage, it was only a dim realization. <Grip of rage? That must be why her and Richard eventually get along so well.>

“What’s the matter with you!†Nicci shook the gasping girl. “Don’t you know you’re crawling with lice?â€

“But, but—“

The soap was harsh and as rough as a rasp. The girl squealed as Nicci bent her over and put more muscle into the scouring.

“do you like having a head full of lie?â€

“No—“

“Well, you must! Why else would you have them?â€

“Please! I’ll try to do better. I’ll wash. I promise!â€

<Blah blah blah, Nicci rants about lice for a while. She then spends some time thinking about Richard.>

The girl ran for her mother when Nicci released her grip on the studded strap around her neck.

“Well?†Commander Kardeef shrieked. He planted his fists on his hips. <There’s nothing more macho than a man shrieking with his fists on his hips. Terrifying.> “Are you through with your games? It’s time these people learned the true meaning of ruthless!â€

Nicci stared into the depths of his dark eyes. They were defiant, angry, and determined – yet they were noting at all like Richard’s eyes. <ie, not raptor-like.>

Nicci turned to the soldiers.

She gestured. “You two. Seize the commander.â€

The men blinked dumbly. Commander Kardeef’s face went red with rage. “That’s it! You’ve finally gone too far!†He wheeled to his men, a whole field of them – two thousand of them. He pointed a thumb back over his shoulder at Nicci. “Grab this lunatic witch!â€

Half a dozen men nearest to her drew weapons as they rushed her. Like all Order field troops, they were big, strong, and quick. They were also experienced.

Nicci thrust a fist out in the direction of the closest as he lifted his whip to lash out and entangle her. With the speed of thought, both Additive Magic and Subtractive twined together in a lethal mix as she unleashed a focused bolt of power. It produced a burst of light so hot and so white that for an instant it made the sunlight seem dim and cold by comparison. <For some unknown reason she doesn’t whip out her boobs.>

The blast blew a mellon-sized hole <What is it with melons all the time?> through the center of the soldier’s chest. For an instant, before the internal pressure forced his organs to fill the sudden void, she could see men behind through the gaping hole in his chest. <Peekaboo, I see you!>

The afterimage of the flare lingered in her mind’s eye like lightning’s arc. The acrid smell of scorched air stung her eyes. The clap of her power’s thunder rumbled out across the surrounding green fields of wheat.

Before the soldier hit the ground, Nicci unleased her power on three more of the charging men, taking off one’s entire shoulder, the wallop <Wallop?!?!> whirling him around lie a ghastly fountain, the dangling limb flinging off into the crowd. <Nice image.> A third man was cut almost in two. She felt the concussion of the following bolt deep in her chest and, amid a blinding flash, the fourth man’s head came apart in a cloud of red mist and bony debris.

Her warning gaze met the eyes of two men with knives gripped in white-knuckled fists. They halted. Many more took a step back as the four reports, to her so separate yet so close atop one another that they almost merged into one ripping blast, still echoed off the buildings.

“Now,†she said in a quiet, calm, composed voice that by its very gentleness betrayed how deadly earnest was the threat, “if you man do not follow my orders, and seize Commander Kardeef, I will seize him myself. But, of course, not until after I’ve killed every last one of you.â€

The only sound was the moan of wind between the buildings.

“Do as I say, or die. I will not wait.â€

The big men, knowing her, made their decision in the instant they knew was all she would grant them, and leaped to seize the commander. He managed to draw his sword. Kadar Kardeef was no stranger to pitched battle. He screamed orders as he fought them off. More than one man fell dead in the melee. Others cried out as they took wounds. From behind, men finally caught the deadly sword arm. Additional men piled on the commander until they had him disarmed, down on the ground, and finally under control.

“What do you think you’re doing?†Kadar Kardeef roared at her as the men pulled him to his feet.

Nicci closed the distance between them. The soldiers held his arms twisted behind his back. She stared into his wild eyes.

“why, Commander, I am merely following you orders.â€

“What are you talking about!â€

She smiled without humor just because she knew it would further madden him.

One of the men glanced back over his shoulder. “What do you want done with him?â€

“Don’t hurt him – I want him fully conscious. Strip him and bind him to the pole.â€

“Pole? What pole?â€

“The pole that held the pigs you men ate.â€

Nicci snapped her fingers, and they began pulling off their commander’s clothes. She watched without emotion as he was finally stripped. His gear and prized weapons became plunder, quickly disappearing into the hands of men he had commanded. They grunted with effort as they fought to bind the struggling, naked, hairy commander to the pole at his back.

Nicci turned to the stunned crowd. “Commander Kardeef wishes you to know how ruthless we can be. I am going to carry out those orders, and demonstrate it for you.†She turned back to the soldiers. “Put him over the fire to roast like a pig.†<And so they do. And there’s a lot of screaming as he burns up.>

~Terry Goodkind, Faith of the Fallen

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With the speed of thought, both Additive Magic and Subtractive twined together in a lethal mix as she unleashed a focused bolt of power

What, additive and substractive magic?

Can she do "Substract Wizard" too? :lol:

If there wasn't quite as much bad sex in these books, you could think they were written for 10-year olds.

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The blast blew a mellon-sized hole <What is it with melons all the time?> through the center of the soldier’s chest. For an instant, before the internal pressure forced his organs to fill the sudden void, she could see men behind through the gaping hole in his chest.

Wasn't this exact same description in another QOTD?

Additive Magic and Subtractive twined together in a lethal mix as she unleashed a focused bolt of power. It produced a burst of light so hot and so white that for an instant it made the sunlight seem dim and cold by comparison.

The afterimage of the flare lingered in her mind’s eye like lightning’s arc. The acrid smell of scorched air stung her eyes.

Balefire rocks!! Oh wait, that's right, he's never read WOT..... :rolleyes:

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Balefire rocks!! Oh wait, that's right, he's never read WOT.....
Well I never read WoT either, but the concept of a lightning/fire/magic bolt is certainly not a new one. Roll for initiative!

“do you like having a head full of lie?â€

Huho, very revelating typo, that :D

Joking aside, what did Nicci do with the imperial order if she joined with Richard? Wouldn't that make her some sort of traitor? What have lices do with anything? why the hell does she need to wash one girl's head before blasting the commander apart? Why do the fanatical legions that forgot their individuality hesitate to seize her when a few of them died, but still seized the commander even though the same number died doing it? If Nicci is there to spy, why does she blow her cover for something the legions did and will still do thousand of times? If she's there to take control of the army, why is the commander still alive at the beginning of this attack? If she's there to stop them, why do they even attack the village?

Questions, questions.... :huh:

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Allright... so Nicci washes a little girl (which of coure she cannot do in a gentle way) and that leads to a lot of violence... did I get that right?

Does any of you know the board game Junta? In that game you essentially play the government of a banana republic. Among a lot of things you can start a revolt for which you have to have a reason though. These reasons are on little cards you draw and some are really pointless or absurd (such as a festival).

Somehow the QOTD often reminds me of this:

little girl is washed... reason for lots of pointless violence

peace protestors...reason for lots of pointless violence

Richard is having a bad day...reason for lots of pointless violence

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She's facing a legion of two thousand men and not one of them has the brains to put an arrow or two in the air? Or spears? Axes? Surround her? The sheer amount of holes in this stuff is amazing.

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Yes, the melon-sized hole, coupled with the "peekaboo" second that you can see through it into the astonished faces of others, IIRC has been done. Leading one to wonder: can you plagiarize yourself? Or does it just make you a bad writer?

As well, I would vote to add lice to the anti-Truth animal list, along with every other blood-sucking, parasitic, hippie-like creature. Collectively, they feed off of other people. So leeches, mosquitos, vampire bats, politicians need all be found on the list. A notable exception would be the gar's blood-flies, because they only feed off of blood to help the greater good (i.e., Gratch gets some lunch).

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Nicci was one of the servants of the Keeper (aka dark one). When she dies she'd be tormented for serving someone else than Him. However, since she has turned away from the evilness of Jagangbang and the Keeper, she'll probably find absolution. Or something stupid like that...

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The phrase has been used a few times. "Melon-sized hole" is to Nicci as "Bringer of death" is to Richard. Only now that I've said it, it sounds perverse.

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Damm it wish I had a working microphone, so I could redub that interview..

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