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BranTheBuilder

G--DK-ND(BBHN)XI

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Also, I don't know if this is acutally a good quote, but, I read WFR many many years ago, and I'd like to see a quote as to why the Mud People call him "Richard with the Temper"

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I just read through the 'talk' on the Goodkind page... ... ... and then the archive. Lordy, I'm stunned that a 'certain someone' has recieved such courteous treatment overall, given his actions and attitude. Kudos to Wert and others for attempting civility in the face of such willful propagandizing and overt bs.

The irony of the Badkind's philosophy in regards to the fervent actions of his avid readers... says a lot.

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from the wikipedia war:

It has recently come to my attention that Mystar has been soliciting other Goodkind fans to participate in the discussion here. It is an official policy of Wikipedia that such advertising is considered highly inappropriate, and that participation only to further an individual agenda (rather than to improve the whole encyclopedia) is strongly discouraged. For more information on the topic, please see this page, which details the nature of and reasons for the relevant policy. This warning applies equally to anyone who comes here from Westeros.org or any other message board containing anti-Goodkind sentiment. This dispute has gotten large enough as it is, and the best way to resolve it is through participation from more experienced Wikipedians. Thank you for your understanding. Brendan Moody 03:36, 30 August 2006 (UTC)

I doubt anyone here would get the urge to expand this war, but better safe than sorry.

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As someone who hasn't, would you care to elaborate?

Wert's summary is pretty good. Basically its a comedy program very carefully set up so it appears to be a series filmed by "legendary" horror writer Garth Marenghi. He thinks he is a genius despite all evidence to the contrary. He is filled with a sense of his own self importance, thinks he is an expert on subjects he is actually woefully ignorant about, and includes a great deal of sexism and xenophobia in his works.The series was supposedly filmed in the 80's but the television company buried because "it was too damn subversive for them to handle". However on watching it the real reason would appear to be because it is absolutely atrocious. Terrible acting, mind boggling edit and continuity problems, special effects that would make classic era Doctor Who look like Lord of the Rings and retarded story lines.

Some of his supposed novels include these stellar works;

Afterbirth

It's the year 2050 and everyone can choose the perfect baby. Blue eyes, blond hair, and calcium-rich blood. Everyone, that is, who can pay. (Many people can't pay). The West Country's most beautiful woman, Silvie Mink, is certain her newborn will be as drop dead gorgeous as her. But when her baby drops dead, knifed by her own placenta, she knows her DNA modification program has gone too far.

Possessed of a fearsome intelligence and hatred of good bone structure, the mutated placenta escapes the hospital, rounds up of a group of ugly, bummed-off 'assymetricals' and, together, they attack the Beautiful People of Bristol.

A staggering indictment of what Garth terms 'lookism'.

Juggers

With this tale of a monstrous juggernaut assuming a life of its own and terrorising a small travelling band of East End prostitutes out on a working weekend to Manchester, Marenghi taps into our dread of mechanical and scientific experimentation with uncanny accuracy.

Marenghi: 'Look, you've got a group of uneducated working whores having fun together in a Bedford Van-come-brothel, boozing and banging their way up the M60, and then suddenly they're confronted by an 18-wheeler with a mind of its own. […] I wanted to write a book about the triumph of the female spirit over a gigantic lorry. Of course, looking back, I realise the truck actually represents AIDS.'

The runaway juggernaut is revealed to be controlled by a scientifically-mutated Atari games programmer, previously abducted by alien entities and sent back to earth in the form of a bio-organic mechanism secured to the truck's steering wheel.

Crab!!

Quote: 'No way! No way on God's Green Land can a crab be bigger than a Renault Estate! Can it…!?!'

Written in two days, this was later made into a short film for 4Later's 1987 animation season, though Garth has since disowned this 'infantile' adaptation of his work. It remains a robust rebuff to those who would tamper with genetics.

Buck Tyson, a Canadian-born fish restauranteur based in Clacton, has a string of ex-wives and 'alimony coming out of [his] ass'.

One day, after lunch with his old school friend, a Yale-educated bio-chemist, Skip Anderson, they start scientifically developing bigger and bigger crabs to yield ever growing profits from their exclusive clientele. But, one fateful day, a certain crab wises up and turns on its maker and all the people in Clacton who regularly enjoy shellfish...

Marenghi: 'I believe that, if she were around today, Mary Shelley would have been jealous of this book.'

'…Indeed, the passage in which Count Crab tearfully (as if seeing a crab cry isn't heart-breaking enough) admonishes his creator for messing with Nature's Plan is as elegiac a declamation of individual freedom as anything in Shelley's greatly over-rated Frankenstein, and, for me, ranks along side the civil rights statements of Luther King and Malcolm X in terms of its sheer lyricism.' - John Henry (from the article 'A Crab Hand at Horror', published in the internet fanzine Peeping John. See also his instructive, if over-zealous, articles 'Why Harry Potter Must Be Destroyed' and 'Don't You People EVEN CARE About Good Horror Fiction/Fantasy Literature Anymore?')

'One of the three best horror books about crabs I've ever read.' Neil Nichols, Hard Gore Magazine

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I have to say I thought Garth Merenghi's Darkplace was one of the funniest shows I have ever seen. Such an underground classic I am very surprised anybody knows it at all. And just so everybody is clear on this - it is a complete work of fiction intended as comedy. It is purposely bad and stupid for comic effect and is therefore not comparable to the work of TG because that is unintentionally hilarious.

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MM;

Concentration camps are bound to show up in the next book. It an inevitable result of Dick's philosophy.

That would be a massive waste of time and resources. And considering that such constraints as reality becomes too boring for Goodkind to allow room for in his books, there will be no need for concentration camps. Just dispatch a couple of soldiers to take care of prisoners and wounded enemy soldiers. I'm sure that a rate of ca. 100 000 executions per hour by one executioner could be achieved easily. If they are allowed morale-boosting fun like cutting of ears, I'm sure 200 000 per hour can be had!

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Since the Wiki War has been brought up, I figure I might link you to the Wiki War Wank Report. The Wiki War summed up neatly with all the crazyness in one tidy report!

:rofl:

Now I'm curious if there will be Chicken/Not Chicken icons floating around on the different livejournals, pretty soon.

ETA: Here are two of them.

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Mystar always makes me chuckle. His attempts at glorifying TG and defending him are so overzealous but yet so incompetently done one can't help but laugh. His repeated, purposeful misspelling of Werthead and ASOIAF, as well as his unintentional repeated errors like manor instead of manner, as well as his most original, 'yeard' always draw a chuckle from me. One thing though, on the wiki goodkind site, the statement "All of G--dk-nd's novels have been bestsellers." is *rediculous*. I've checked through every old bestseller list I could find, every archive, and I couldn't find any such evidence. Each one may have made a weekly bestseller list, but that's pretty much impossible to verify.

The sites below list previous bestsellers and G--dk-nd's WFR, for example, appears in neither 1994 nor 1995's best seller list(all I felt like looking through), and as its published in 1994, it is highly unlikely it ever appeared as a NYT bestseller. Of course, this doesn't eliminate the possibility that it was a bestseller for say, www.moralcelerybooksales.com ...

http://www.caderbooks.com/bestintro.html

http://www.hawes.com/pastlist.htm

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Hey, can we have the QOTD be the scene where Richard kills the little princess? I've heard that that's where Goodkind supposedly reaches the depths of disgusting-ness.

It's been done already, but you can check it out here

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:rofl:

Now I'm curious if there will be Chicken/Not Chicken icons floating around on the different livejournals, pretty soon.

ETA: Here are two of them.

that 2nd one is too good to pass up

Frankly I'm a little suprised that mystar would even lower himself to being part of the editing centipede over at wikipedia.

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Frankly I'm a little suprised that mystar would even lower himself to being part of the editing centipede over at wikipedia.

If mystar does the editing, it is a noble and honorable act - if anyone else touches the Scripture that is TG's wikipedia page, it is slander, vandalism, rape,...

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I had a look at the wiki page a couple of days ago, and it seemed to me that it was at least in part written by peope who don't adore the ground beneath His Yeardinesses' feet.

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Fantasy usually takes conventional values as a given. For example, the evil being battled is commonly a dark force that wishes to do evil- without any reason beyond that it is evil.

So is any reason ever given for the Imperial Order being evil, aside from the fact that they're dirty fundamentalist commies? And what makes Richard good, aside from him being the mothafuckin Seaker?

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The Wiki page on Goodkind looks about right to me. I've seen at least one earlier version that was basically fannish squeeing about his extreme greatness, and another earlier version that looked like the article writer was making fun of Goodkind in a very straight-faced, deadpan sort of way (which I found really funny, but which probably wasn't right for a serious article. :) ). The only thing off about it that I can see is the description of some of Goodkind's claims as "a little extreme." They are a little extreme, in fact they're fucking demented, but the personal opinion jarrs with the objective-sounding tone of the rest of the article.

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I was prowling around in some of the older threads and found this from Ran:

Finishing this thread on a palindromic number seems right. Onwards and upwards to Goodkind V, folks, if there's still some life in that horse.

Seems there was a bit of life left after all. :lol:

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Fess up, which of you did that?

:rofl:

Just a matter of time until the Yeardists find it, I'm afraid...

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Wasn't it agreed before to not use the wikipedia as a battleground, even more when the author of the mocking article can be traced back to Westeros and damage the board's reputation with the Wiki community?

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Terry Goodkind Quote of the Day time! It took me a while to find this one, that’s why it’s coming so late. It seems that in the world of Terry (BBNC) it’s okay to be a leather-clad dominatrix, but it’s not okay to be a lesbian. This part comes a while after Richard heals Berdine’s nipple back on.

She pulled her wavy brown braid over her shoulder and held on to it. <But doesn’t tug it.> “When you marry your queen, you will still have other women, won’t you?â€

Richard frowned down at her. “I don’t have other women now. I love Kahlan. I’m loyal in my love to her.â€

“But you are the lord Rahl. You can have any you wish. Even me. That is what the Lord Rahl does; he has many women. You have but to snap your fingers.â€

Richard got the distinct impression that she was definitely not making an offer. “Is this about when I put my hand on you, on your breast?†She glanced away and nodded. “Berdine, I did that to help you, not because…well, not because of anything else. I hoped you would know that.â€

She quickly laid a concerned hand on his arm. “I do know. That’s not what I mean. You’ve never touched me in the other way. What I mean is that you never make those requirements of me.†She chewed her lower lip. “The way you put your hand on me has me feeling very ashamed.â€

“Why?â€

“Because you risked your life to help me. You are my Lord Rahl, and I have not been honest with you.â€

Richard gestured, guiding them on the path around a column twenty men couldn’t have held hands around. “You’re getting me confused, Berdine.â€

“Well, I say that I am your favorite so that you will not think I don’t like you.â€

“You are trying to say you don’t like me?â€

She clutched his arm again. “Oh no. I love you.â€

“Berdine, I told you I have-“

“Not like that. I mean I love you as my Lord Rahl. You have freed me. You have seen that I am more than simply Mord-Sith, and you have trusted me. You saved my life and returned me to whole. I love you for the kind of Lord Rahl you are.â€

Richard shook his head as if to clear it. “You’re not making any sense. What does this have to do with you always saying that you’re my favorite.â€

“I say that so you won’t think I wouldn’t willingly go to your bed if asked. I feared that if you knew that I didn’t want to, then you would force me, to be perverse.â€

Richard held the light out as they reached the passageway leading from the room. It looked a simple block hall. “Stop fretting about it.†He motioned her onward. “I’ve told you I wouldn’t.â€

“I know. And after what you did—“ She touched her left breast. “—I believe you. But I didn’t before. I’m beginning to see that your really are different in more ways than a few.â€

“Different from who?â€

“Darken Rahl.â€

“Well, you’re right about that.†As they walked on down the long hall, again he suddenly looked at her. “Are you trying to tell me that you’re in love with someone, and you have only been saying those things to me so that I wouldn’t think you were trying to avoid my affections, and therefore wouldn’t be provoked to force you?â€

Her fist tightened on her braid as her blue eyes closed for a moment. <Go on, tug it, you know you want to.> “Yes.â€

“Really? I think that’s wonderful, Berdine.†<Blah blah blah>

Richard looked over as he started out again and grinned. “Who is it?†He waved he hand, feeling a sudden flush of embarrassment that, considering her odd mood at the moment, he might be overstepping his bounds. “Unless you don’t want to tell me. You don’t have to tell me. I don’t want you to feel you have to. It’s your business, if you choose.â€

Berdine swallowed. “Because of the things you have done for us, for me, I wish to confess.â€

Richard made a face. “Confess? Telling me who you’re in love with isn’t a confession, it’s—“

“Raina.â€

<Richard for once is speechless.>

He looked back to her as she walked with her eyes on the floor. “Berdine, I love Raina, too. And Cara, and you, and Ulic and Egan. Kind of like a family. Is that what you mean?†She shook her head without looking up. “But Raina is a woman.†<Can’t put anything past the Seeker.>

Berdine shot him a cool scowl.

“Berdine,†he said after a long silence, “you had better not tell Raina this or—“

“Raina loves me too.â€

Richard straightened, not knowing quite what to say. “But how can…you can’t…I don’t see…Berdine, why are you telling me this?†<So far he doesn’t realize how hot this could be.>

“Because you have always been honest with us. At first, when you told us things, we thought you would not do as you said. Well, not all of us. Cara has always believed you, but I did not.â€

Her expression slipped back to the distant countenance of a Mord-Sith. “When Darken Rahl was our Lord Rahl, he found out, and he ordered me to his bed. He laughed at me. He…liked to take me to his bed because he knew. It was his way of humiliating me. I thought that if you knew, too, you would do the same, so I tried to hide it from you by making you think I fancied you.â€

Richard shook his head. “Berdine, I wouldn’t do that to you.â€

“I know that, now. That is why I had to confess to you, because you’ve always been honest with me, but I was not honest with you.’

Richard shrugged. “Well, then I’m glad you feel better.†He thought as he turned her down a winding hall of plastered walls. “Did Darken Rahl make you this way, by choosing you to become a Mord-Sith? Is that what made you hate men?â€

She frowned up at him. “I do not hate men. I just, I don’t know, I just always looked at girls from the time I was young. Boys didn’t interest me in that way.†She drew her hand down her braid. <Last chance...damn.> “Now you hate me?â€

“No. No, I don’t hate you, Berdine. You are my protector, the same as always. But can’t you try to not think about her or something? It just isn’t right.â€

<It gets pretty sappy after this and Richard eventually becomes the very model of tolerance and acceptance.>

~Terry Goodkind, Blood of the Fold

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Considering how much dirty beast-sex there is in the books, it always amazes me how prissy Richard & Kahlan are about the whole thing. I remember a bit in the Mud People village where Kahlan gets all embarrassed when one of the women is talking about boobs, or something. If Richard is supposed to be Goodkind's avatar, then surely he should be getting all sweaty at the thought of lesbians, rape, nambles etc...

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