If George RR Martin wrote Lord of the Rings (Didn't know where to put this)

[Ser Pounce FTW]

1. Saruman would have had a POV where we discover how Gandalf deceived him to take his position;

2. Legola's relatives would've had killed Gimli in front of him as a note not to mix with lesser folks;

3. Faramir would've searched for vengeance on the death of his brother and lover Boromir;

4. Aragorn, a secret Targaryen.

I'm not sure how to respond to this. It's brilliant or insane. I'm leaning toward brilliant.

The Wier-Ents would attack and destroy the Wall.

I love this and it could still happen although I think the weirs are on the same side as the Wall.

[A Bastard Snow]

Bilbo and Frodo would not simply be related, but have an incestuous relationship built on lies and hatred. Eventually Frodo would find out the truth about the death of his sister-mother, and murder Bilbo with a crossbow. When he leaves, there is no Fellowship, because Merry and Pippin and Sam are too young and naive, and Frodo, with his heavy drinking and the sin of kinslaying under his belt, alienates them and leaves them behind.

After Frodo leaves for Rivendell, orcs come to Hobbitton and burn it to the ground, slaughtering most and taking a few as slaves to sell to Isengard. Frodo rendezvous with Aragorn in the tavern, and that night are attacked by the Ring Wraiths. Aragorn escapes with the ring, but Frodo is captured, taken to Moria, where he spends four novels being tortured.

Aragorn, deciding that now's the time to reveal himself as the King of Gondor Reborn, rallies men to fight Sauron's forces. Denethor agrees to help, promising his lovely daughter as a bride in exchange, but Aragorn falls in love with Faramir instead, breaking his oath. Aragorn tries to make amends by having Gandalf - a drunk charlatan - marry Boromir, but at the wedding ceremony is betrayed and murdered by Denethor, Gandalf is taken hostage, and the Ring is taken by Denethor.

Meanwhile, Arwen is sold into slavery by Elrond, who hopes to recapture the lost power of elvenkind using the armies of Isengard. Arwen, however, falls in love with her bride Saruman, and the two have an off-beat cross-cultural romance, the highlight of which is when Saruman murders Elrond by throwing him off his tower. Unfortunately, Saruman catches influenza shortly afterwards and dies. Arwen tries to lead the Uruk-Hai and slave soldiers herself, but most won't follow an elven slave girl. Among the few that do are the slaves Merry, Pippin, and Sam, who Arwen names her Bloodriders once she gets them some ponies to ride. She marches back north, gathering her forces; she razes Bree, conquers Lothlorien, and finally captures Rivendell where she decides to rule as its queen. She is accompanied by Boromir, who left Denethor after one too many whimsical executions in Gondor.

Bravo. :bowdown:

[Squab]

It would have been 10 books long and still going

[Hos the Hostage]

1. Saruman would have had a POV where we discover how Gandalf deceived him to take his position;

2. Legola's relatives would've had killed Gimli in front of him as a note not to mix with lesser folks;

3. Faramir would've searched for vengeance on the death of his brother and lover Boromir;

4. Aragorn, a secret Targaryen.

:D

Even if the world and characters were all from Tolkien, Aragorn would still have been a secret Targaryen

[Kyoshi]

Arwen would get a compelling POV.

If Tolkien wrote ASOIAF, most of the female characters wouldn't be there.

[HexMachina]

Arwen would get a compelling POV.

If Tolkien wrote ASOIAF, most of the female characters wouldn't be there.

Luthien, I mean Brienne, would save the day by rescuing Beren, I mean Jaime, from Morgoth, I mean the Great Other...

[Kyoshi]

Luthien, I mean Brienne, would save the day by rescuing Beren, I mean Jaime, from the Great Other...

You forgot a magic sword somewhere in there.

[HexMachina]

You forgot a magic sword somewhere in there.

Who needs a magic sword when you have a Silmaril? And there is even a hound, um, erm, direwolf too....

[BrienneofQarth]

We would have a Sauron POV where we found out that he was really motivated by his traumatic childhood/felt bad for the hobbits he persecuted/really loved his orc buddies.

Also he was a secret Targaryen.

[Kyoshi]

We would have a Sauron POV where we found out that he was really motivated by his traumatic childhood/felt bad for the hobbits he persecuted/really loved his orc buddies.

Also he was a secret Targaryen.

Some of the orcs might be secret Targs as well. And some of them would be really nice orcs, one might even get a POV in book 4.

[The Marquis de Leech]

Ned Stark would come back to life and tell Jon he is the chosen one. Then lead him to victory against the Others then Jon and Daenerys end up married and have babies named Rhaenys, Lyanna and Aegon. The realm prospers and everyone lives happily ever after.

You're thinking Harry Potter, not Tolkien.

[HexMachina]

Some of the orcs might be secret Targs as well. And some of them would be really nice orcs, one might even get a POV in book 4.

We would have the young daughter of a Haradrim chief embark on a quest to wed Aragorn, a marriage contract having been signed in secret some 15 years prior. The Haradrim chief did this after his niece and nephew were slain by orcs sent by Sauron. The poor daughter would be plagued by self doubt and given only 5 companions, 3 of whom die en route. When the girl at last reaches Aragorn, Sauron has been defeated already and Aragorn has married Arwen. She would bravely try to tame the wandering Oliphaunt that Sam and Frodi saw, in an effort to win Aragorn's heart and impress her father. Unfortunately, she lacks the Blood of the Oliphaunt and is crushed underfoot, laying waste to 15 or so years of carefully laid plans

[Kyoshi]

We would have the young daughter of a Haradrim chief embark on a quest to wed Aragorn, a marriage contract having been signed in secret some 15 years prior. The Haradrim chief did this after his niece and nephew were slain by orcs sent by Sauron. The poor daughter would be plagued by self doubt and given only 5 companions, 3 of whom die en route. When the girl at last reaches Aragorn, Sauron has been defeated already and Aragorn has married Arwen. She would bravely try to tame the wandering Oliphaunt that Sam and Frodi saw, in an effort to win Aragorn's heart and impress her father. Unfortunately, she lacks the Blood of the Oliphaunt and is crushed underfoot, laying waste to 15 or so years of carefully laid plans

:bowdown: I love the details most of all.

And there would only be 3 Oliphaunts in the entire series. Everyone is trying to get to them and use them is some way. I'm not as gifted in filling in details as you are. Imagination, imagination...

[George48]

If George wrote LOTR:

• The orcs are actually elves who have practiced hardcore incest for several generations
  
• Denethor is king of Gondor and he dies of a stroke after hearing that Boromir is dead. Civil war begins: Faramir claims that the throne is his by right but has the smallest army and no one likes him. Imrahil declares that he's the king because... "I've got the largest army so fuck you all!" An other pretender comes from Umbar claiming to descend from Castamir... everyone calls it BS but he's got a large army. Andrast declares independence after the Lord is executed for treason by Imrahil. Aragorn appears from nowhere with an army and takes Blackroot Vale. Them his origins are revealed: he's the heir of Isildur... but his father was a bastard....
  
• Fans speculate about Frodo/Sam/Legolas/Boromir being actually heirs of Isildur. Everyone is a secret heir of Isildur... except Aragorn: he's a pretender.
  
• Gandalf stays dead but everyone thinks he is alive disguised as Denethor
  

[Kyoshi]

If George wrote LOTR:

• The orcs are actually elves who have practiced hardcore incest for several generations

Denethor is king of Gondor and he dies of a stroke after hearing that Boromir is dead. Civil war begins: Faramir claims that the throne is his by right but has the smallest army and no one likes him. Imrahil declares that he's the king because... "I've got the largest army so fuck you all!" An other pretender comes from Umbar claiming to descend from Castamir... everyone calls it BS but he's got a large army. Andrast declares independence after the Lord is executed for treason by Imrahil. Aragorn appears from nowhere with an army and takes Blackroot Vale. Them his origins are revealed: he's the heir of Isildur... but his father was a bastard....

Fans speculate about Frodo/Sam/Legolas/Boromir being actually heirs of Isildur. Everyone is a secret heir of Isildur... except Aragorn: he's a pretender.

Gandalf stays dead but everyone thinks he is alive disguised as Denethor

:lmao:

[Genghis Khal]

Late King Theoden turned his Rohirrim back during the Battle of Minas Tirith, seeing that there is no hope, turned his "khalasar" around and ravaged the Wilderlands crushing the elven force of Lady Galadriel. Until this point elves were indistinguishable from men, only more incestuous , but from this moment on their ears are being sharpened as a mark of their slave status.

Legends say that some escaped to the west, but having a weak gene pool thanks to eons of inbreeding they could not support themselves so with time they grew short and hairy, adapting to the harsh conditions of western Eriador.

[Christian Walters]

We would have the young daughter of a Haradrim chief embark on a quest to wed Aragorn, a marriage contract having been signed in secret some 15 years prior. The Haradrim chief did this after his niece and nephew were slain by orcs sent by Sauron. The poor daughter would be plagued by self doubt and given only 5 companions, 3 of whom die en route. When the girl at last reaches Aragorn, Sauron has been defeated already and Aragorn has married Arwen. She would bravely try to tame the wandering Oliphaunt that Sam and Frodi saw, in an effort to win Aragorn's heart and impress her father. Unfortunately, she lacks the Blood of the Oliphaunt and is crushed underfoot, laying waste to 15 or so years of carefully laid plans

This is one of my favorite posts on this thread thus far.

[Le Cygne]

UnGandalf.

[Christian Walters]

UnGandalf.

Instead of helping out with the Fellowship, he just wanders around killing anything that has relation to Saruman/Sauron.

[CharlesW]

Hobbits would've been butchered through repeated sackings of the Shire, and the majority of the Fellowship would've had gruesome deaths.