Myshkin

Goodkind 54: How to Revive a Dead Dick

369 posts in this topic

Funny, Nerdanel pretty much predicted exactly this thing back in 2007...

 

Gods, Nerdanel was not shown the respect that she deserved in her time here. 

 

I pledge to smack people down appropriately from this point on to make up in whatever small way that i can. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

And now I know what and who Goodkind is. Like I actually Googled it and shit. Screw y'all. First Stanek ,then that fedora wearing dude , now this ? This board is clogging my brain with knowledge of existence of 'authors' like these.

All I can say is, now more than ever, we need technology to turn paper back to trees

 

We already do.  It's called composting.     Although if you do compost Tairy books it will probably produce strange looking vines.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I love that the Goodkind threads have outlasted all the actual Tairy fansites :lol:

 

Haha indeed!  The Lemmings are eternal. 

 

 

Inevitably, curious people wander in here who have never read Tairy, so here is another boarder's review upon reading their first Goodkind book, if you're wondering what to expect.  It's not a review of a SoT book, but equally applies to any book Tairy has every written, will ever write, or will ever consider writing.

Edited by Ded As Ned

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 
Inevitably, curious people wander in here who have never read Tairy, so here is another boarder's review upon reading their first Goodkind book, if you're wondering what to expect.

First sentence: "This is my first foray into the frightful and bewildering world of Terry Goodkind."

The amount of in-jokes in the rest of the review make that hard to believe.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
well, look at it this way: i make namble cock jokes even though i haven't read that volume

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

First sentence: "This is my first foray into the frightful and bewildering world of Terry Goodkind."

The amount of in-jokes in the rest of the review make that hard to believe.

 

I didn't really catch any "in-jokes" that a board regular who has read these threads and Tairy's interviews wouldn't have picked up on, but I'm naive.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yeah the amount of in-jokes suggest to me that review was written by an ex fan/reader.

 

I mean I admit it I got to like book 6 or something before I realized.. No it doesn't get any better and there really is no point. I should have fallen off the wagon with the statue book but I just kept on sticking needles in my eyes.

 

Anyway thought this might give you all a chuckle: 

 

http://forums.penny-arcade.com/discussion/98263/the-law-of-nines-or-what-the-fuck-is-wrong-with-terry-goodkind 

 

and for anyone wanting a good foray into why Goodkind is so bad then the first 5 chapters of Law of Nines are here:

 

http://www.sword-of-truth.com/sot/the_law_of_nines/Goodkind_excerpt._V218459233_.pdf

 

Some excerpts though:

 

  • "When he spoke to her she met his gaze with a focused involvement that was respectful and interested. He couldn't imagine this woman ever sending him a text message."

 

So, so bad...

Edited by SilentRoamer

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Goodkind's sword of truth is the biggest trash I ever read (first 3 books anyway). But curiously enough he was quite popular in Germany 15 years back because he wrote "grown up" fantasy not "childish" fantasy like Tolkien....

God those people were fucking annoying.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Oh that PA forum mentions yeards. My cup runneth over. I miss those pirate plumbers! But I was mostly tickled this time by this phrase:

He couldn't imagine this woman ever sending him a text message.


A sure sign of class!

Now get off my lawn!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Let's try something interesting. We should fix the tvtropes page of "The Sword of Truth" series. There is just one major threat to this endeavor, a troper named "Mr Death". Convincing him with logic won't work since as this page demonstrates, he has a bad case of selective obliviousness regarding the series.

 

However, I have a plan for getting him perma-banned, whenever someone posts the example of Kahlan crossing the Moral Event Horizon (when she vowed to destroy Galea) on the YMMV page, he reverts it under the "logic" that Kahlan can't cross the MEH because she isn't a villain. Someone should start a discussion on the MEH page asking whether a stories "Hero" can cross the MEH when everyone else says yes, put the example back on the YMMV page and tell Mr. Death about the discussion section. When he reverts it, report him and get him banned. If he comes back, do something similar like call the series a torture porn or point out its problems with Hollywood Tactics which will anger him again and get him banned again. Repeat until he is perma-banned.

 

Unfortunately, I can't do it myself since I was perma-banned by a moderator who is also a fan of the series. The moderator claimed that I'll never get my editing privileges back due to, and I quote "twisted idea of truth."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
TVTropes had its heyday about 6-7 years ago and has been filling up with crap ever since. Besides which, planning raids on other sites is a big no-no round here.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
yeah, not a useful site. kinda void ab initio anyway for amateurish use of the term 'trope.'

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Goodkind made his "I don't write fantasy" statement years ago and I've been wondering if he still stands by that statement. I figure that the best way to find out is to ask him on either Facebook or Twitter. What's a good way to word my question so that he doesn't know that I'm a member of the hatedom?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Seriously don't be a Troll.

 

 

We don't mess with other sites.  This includes other peoples Blogs and social media.  

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Seriously don't be a Troll.

 

 

We don't mess with other sites.  This includes other peoples Blogs and social media.  

  :agree:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
and for anyone wanting a good foray into why Goodkind is so bad then the first 5 chapters of Law of Nines are here:

 

http://www.sword-of-truth.com/sot/the_law_of_nines/Goodkind_excerpt._V218459233_.pdf

 

Some excerpts though:

 

  •  

    "When he spoke to her she met his gaze with a focused involvement that was respectful and interested. He couldn't imagine this woman ever sending him a text message."

 

What the fuck? Did he even read this out loud to himself before plowing on? How did it even fly past the editor?

 

It's... so... awkwardly worded.

 

Let's try something interesting. We should fix the tvtropes page of "The Sword of Truth" series. There is just one major threat to this endeavor, a troper named "Mr Death". Convincing him with logic won't work since as this page demonstrates, he has a bad case of selective obliviousness regarding the series.

 

However, I have a plan for getting him perma-banned, whenever someone posts the example of Kahlan crossing the Moral Event Horizon (when she vowed to destroy Galea) on the YMMV page, he reverts it under the "logic" that Kahlan can't cross the MEH because she isn't a villain. Someone should start a discussion on the MEH page asking whether a stories "Hero" can cross the MEH when everyone else says yes, put the example back on the YMMV page and tell Mr. Death about the discussion section. When he reverts it, report him and get him banned. If he comes back, do something similar like call the series a torture porn or point out its problems with Hollywood Tactics which will anger him again and get him banned again. Repeat until he is perma-banned.

 

Unfortunately, I can't do it myself since I was perma-banned by a moderator who is also a fan of the series. The moderator claimed that I'll never get my editing privileges back due to, and I quote "twisted idea of truth."

 

I know this refers to another, more infamous site, generally, but it should pretty much apply here as well: "Anonymous is not your personal army."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Goodkind refuses to use editors. True story.

 

They would only corrupt the purity of His vision.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now