Dealing with an overly attached cat?

[Fez]

So I got a cat a few weeks ago. He's awesome, incredibly friendly and playful. But he has one behavior that I'm a bit worried about. See, he's indoor-only, I live in a studio apartment, and I work from home. So he's gotten used to pretty much always being in close proximity to me. And so when I need to go out, he follows me to the front door. That part's fine, he doesn't try bolting out, he doesn't start meowing.

The issue is, that he's still sitting there, waiting for me by the front door, whenever I get back. It doesn't matter if it was a couple minutes while I took out the trash, or if it was five or six hours while I'm out with friends. I don't know for sure that he doesn't move from the spot he's in when I leave, but he's always in the same spot when I get back, and there's never any evidence of food eaten or litter used in the time I'm gone. And he's never asleep, he's always starring directly at the door (although it could be that the door opening is waking him up).

Its getting me concerned that he doesn't know how to cope with me not being in the apartment. Just now, he was being really active. I had to go take out the trash, and as soon as he saw me leaving, he just lay down by the door. When I came back, maybe 90 seconds later, he was still laying there. And a couple minutes after he saw I wasn't going out again, he became active again. It was the same last Sunday. He was looking out the window. He came over to the front door when I left to go over to a friend's for the Super Bowl. He was at the same spot by the front door when I came back 6 hours later.

Maybe its not a big deal. I've never been gone long enough where its worrisome that he didn't eat or litter, and maybe he'd rather spend his time when I'm gone just waiting for me to come back rather than doing things on his own (although that doesn't sound psychologically healthy). But there will be times that I do need to be away for longer times, it just a coincidence that there haven't been any in the 3+ weeks since I got him. And I'm concerned that he won't be able to deal with that.

He has food and water and toys. And I've tried leaving the TV on to put an extra stimulate in the environment. He seemingly ignores all of it when I'm out.

Any thoughts o' board? Should I be concerned? And if so, how do I fix this?

[Fragile Bird]

A second cat.

[Pebble thats Stubby]

Mr Broccalli?

[lacuna]

Start going out the window, to throw him off his game.

[Ixodes]

I wouldn't be too worried. Your best bet is to make the apartment as feline friendly as possible. The more comfortable he is, the less stress he will feel. This is a good place to start:

indoorpet.osu.edu/home

I wouldn't get another cat, at least not yet. Sometimes with cats that become real attached to a single owner, another cat introduced can lead to miserable non-stop conflict if the current cat decides he doesn't want to share his favorite resource. Make sure you have plenty of play time and mimic as much hunting behavior as you can -- this will help.

[Disturber of Peace]

Set up a camera to prove/disprove your theory.

[Kelli Fury]

Your cat probably knows the sound of your footsteps coming to the door. My cat knows mine, and is always waiting on the other side by the time I reach the door. He's not waiting all day, he's just really excited and knows you're coming

[Fragile Bird]

I wouldn't get another cat, at least not yet. Sometimes with cats that become real attached to a single owner, another cat introduced can lead to miserable non-stop conflict if the current cat decides he doesn't want to share his favorite resource. Make sure you have plenty of play time and mimic as much hunting behavior as you can -- this will help.

Hmmmmm...I guess that's true. About the second cat.

Question - mimic as much hunting behaviour as you can? :eek: Let mice loose in the apartment and stalk them?

My mom told me my dog would go to the door at about 6:00 pm and lie down and wait. I found out when she lectured me once for coming home late a few times in a row.

[mashiara]

Mr Broccalli?

No. Just no.

Your cat probably knows the sound of your footsteps coming to the door. My cat knows mine, and is always waiting on the other side by the time I reach the door. He's not waiting all day, he's just really excited and knows you're coming

That's what happens with us too, we always have at least one cat waiting for us at the door when we get home, most often two.

[Fez]

Thanks for the ideas. I have been thinking of getting some more stuff for the cat to do. We play twice a day for about 10-15 minutes and he really likes that and wears himself out. But I think a couple automated toys, or maybe those puzzle toys that have food inside, would help him better able to have fun on his own.

Definitely not getting a second cat. My place isn't big enough and I can't afford it. On top of that, I think the whole "cats need another one to keep them company" thing is false. I had two cats when I was growing up. They got along fine, and did in fact keep each other company. Sadly, one of them died rather young (he was a runt and always had health problems), and the other was mopey for a little while, but she got over and lived another 6 years; perfectly content as the only cat. Cats can enjoy other cats (although, as pointed out, jealousy can be an issue), but I don't think its a requirement.

Your cat probably knows the sound of your footsteps coming to the door. My cat knows mine, and is always waiting on the other side by the time I reach the door. He's not waiting all day, he's just really excited and knows you're coming

There's a thought, and not one that I'd considered. I've never thought as having a distinctive gait, but maybe he does recognize it. Or maybe he comes to the door whenever he hears footsteps come down the hallway, and is disappointed when its one of my neighbors instead. Or maybe its the sound of fumbling keys outside the door (although I don't lock the door when I'm just going to the trash chute or laundry room). There's still the question of why he's in the same spot coming and going. Because its not the always same spot each day. But that could be a coincidence (and maybe there's been a time or two that he wasn't in the exact same spot, just that he was at the door as always, and I don't remember properly).

I suppose the only way to be sure is to set up a camera while I'm gone. He's definitely not eating while I'm gone, but like I said, I've never been gone so long that that's necessarily concerning. At least he's not doing anything like pooping in my bed or being anti-social when I come back.

Honestly, I'm probably overthinking all this. But he's my first pet in five years, and I want to make sure everything's fine with him. Particularly since he did have a legitimate health scare his first week with me (unknown pain/tenderness in his front, Vet had no idea what wrong, x-rays were negative, but he didn't eat or act very cat-like until he was put on pain meds; and whatever it was cleared up by the time I ran out of meds (four-day supply) and he's been fine ever since). It just makes me nervous regularly about him.

[Summah]

Everyone has a distinctive gait, but most people are unaware because we don't generally use the sound of someone's walk to identify them. I think Kay is probably right about the cat listening.

[dog-days]

Set up a camera to prove/disprove your theory.

:agree:

I remember that my old family cat used to appear at the door whenever we came in. More worryingly, she also did a mad suicidal dash in front of my dad's car when it pulled up in the drive. But she was fine with us not being there. She wasn't an affectionate cat (until we got a dog, and then she suddenly she became madly jealous and possessive of her collection of humans). She mostly just thought we were useful for chasing the neighborhood cats away, so she could roll in the cat-mint undisturbed.

My landlord's dog, however, will often just slump in front of the door when his boss is out. It doesn't seem to bother him (the dog, that is).

[aceluby]

I seriously doubt it's waiting for you the entire time. Put up a camera one day to find out, shouldn't be too hard to set up.

[deleted01]

One of my cats has similar behaviours, which I never thought of as a cause for concern. The same cat has developed a rather odd habit of chasing, biting, and even hissing at his own tail, on a regular basis. Cats are weird.

My partner's dog gets grumpy whenever someone's leaving, and waits by the door around the time he should be getting back from work. You could try setting up a camera, to see if your cat actually is waiting there the whole time.

[Aemon Stark]

My cat is quite similar, and she frequently comes to the door when I arrive home. In the first few weeks that I had her, she'd follow me to the door too. But this really happens a lot less now. Usually when I get home she likes to hang out and do the head bump thing for a little while. Then she disappears or returns later to sleep in one of her preferred spots.

Likewise sometimes she sleeps in my bed and other times she's off doing something else the whole night.

Certainly your cat sounds like mine inasmuch as he's very social. That does NOT mean your cat would benefit from having another one around - mine previously lived with another cat (one older by several years) and she abused him, and would prevent him from getting to this food and chase him out of certain rooms. They needed to be separated and hence she came to me. Great on her own, but not with other cats - and if there's any generalization here it's simply that cats are much more solitary and territorial in nature, and for those that seem to "get along" it's still not necessarily ideal for them.

Generally speaking I don't think your cat is sitting in the same spot when you're gone, even if it may appear so. I can't really say what goes on in their little brains, but I don't think there's anything to be worried about here.

[dog-days]

In answer to the thread title...

...use pliers?

[DemiNymph]

I don't think your cat will need the TV. Mine don't like it much. I think your cat can smell you. My cats always know when anyone passes outside the door, and as far back as 80m away, that's where the lift is. If your cat is not showing stress like having sweat marks, then don't be unduely worried. Mine was terrorised by my other cat and didn't move for 2 hours. When I came home and rescued her, she left sweat paw prints on the floor.

You can also get the feliway diffuser to calm him if you think he's stressed.

You could also set up a routine and train him to know what to expect. Always use the same words and keep it short so he can understand. For example, if you say "Bye bye" for work time, then after a while he will understand that you will take many hours to return when you say that. If you need to go out for a short trip, say "Wait for me".

[Lily Valley]

Kay is right. Every cat I have ever had was sitting on the front porch waiting for me when I got home. My neighbors would report their many adventures throughout the day. At my current house I can see my kitty galloping down the street whether I am on foot, bike or in any of 6 cars I can be found riding in.

I don't have a car of my own and he knows all the pals I've got who are willing to help out with errands.

Your kitty will chill out. Mine was super affectionate as a kitten. Now he will permit petting at bedtime, but otherwise he'll swat you one if you try to touch him.

[all swedes are racist]

I'll testify to cats somehow recognizing gait or whatever. We live in the first floor of a two-family house on the corner of a block in a residential urban neighborhood. There are a lot of people walking by and into the house at any time. Even I can hear the people on the sidewalk or coming in the front door. But if I'm home alone with Turtle, without fail she reacts only to my wife coming in. Ears perk up, her head slowly tracking progress through the walls even before my wife is on the property. It's not the door, not the keys... She can hear and recognize mrs Red walking down the sidewalk.

So I think it's no stretch to think your little buddy can tell your approaching, and the fact cats are furry murder machines animated solely by neuroses and bizarre compulsive ritual, waiting at the same spot for you should t be cause for worry.

May I ask how old he is, and where you got him?

[Tammy]

My cat behaved in a very similar way when I first got him. For the first few months he would literally only eat if I was in the same room with him. He'd not eat the entire time I was gone.

Over time he's gotten used to me being gone during the day, but he's still a rather attached cat and I sometimes wonder if I should get another cat to keep him company while I'm gone.

I think they get used to it though, but it just takes some cats more time than others. My cat pretty much defies most of the stereotypes about cats though.