NestorMakhnosLovechild Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 If a person knows they have a temper and are prone to outbursts of the name-calling nature, do you think it fair for them to say "I'm really mad right now and if you keep pressing me to talk, I'm going to say things I don't mean and I might even throw things and grab you. So step away." - ? On one hand they are saying I need space, respect that, but on the other hand it is like a threat. Should threats be tolerated? Or should the person be accepted as they are, for acknowledging their temper and trying to control it? Well first of all, we need to distinguish between different types of behavior. Name-calling, disparagement and things that might be classified as verbal abuse are one thing. Throwing things around the house or physically grabbing you. These are other things. Candidly, I don't care what kind of temper a person has, or how much they're trying to control it, physical intimidation, the destruction of your things, or physical violence of any kind is completely unacceptable, and you shouldn't be tolerating that under any circumstances. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Glaurung Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 Do you realy want to be "that kind of cool", though? You want kids and family. Are you prepared to have an ex-con as part of your circle of friends. I guess it depends on the facts and circumstances surround his conviction but... Yeah...each con is different. It depends on what they were convicted of, and even then, of what kind of person they are. I've a buddy who spent 3 years in prison. He did some stupid shit...theft and he repeated it a few times. Yet I know what kind of person he is. He may not be the most responsible person, but he IS a kind person. He's a very sensitive person. If a building was burning down and there were kids, pets, or just people in general in that building, he would push people out of the way rushing into that building to help them out. He would never hurt a fly. Now....other people don't know this about him, so they would only see an ex-con. So I wouldn't ask somebody I just met to hang out with me and my ex con buddy. That would be ridiculous...I would need to get to know that person very well first. It is a bit odd that this guy thought it was a reasonable request of somebody he barely knows. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MinDonner Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 Lol wrong topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelli Fury Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 The things described don't sound like "having a temper" they sound like being an abusive asshole who could use counseling Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larry of the Lawn Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 This may be the first election I can't be bothered to stay up and watch since 1992 (I couldn't vote in a General till '97 but '92 I gave enough of a shit about to pull an almost-all-nighter). Just can't muster any enthusiasm for doing a late night tomorrow. Speaking of which, I hope you all voted Larry for "Best All-round Lover and Partner" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elder Sister Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 Speaking of which, I hope you all voted Larry for "Best All-round Lover and Partner" I voted you "Best Goober Joke Teller". I hope that counts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larry of the Lawn Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 I voted you "Best Goober Joke Teller". I hope that counts. Thanks! That's more accurate anyway. Especially the goober part. (provided RRL, you, and Gillio weren't on the ballot). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MinDonner Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 *actual shamefaced blushing right now*N00b error, apologies! :blushing: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brook Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 Kay and Nestor are spot on Also it's reasonable to say 'I'm going to need some time to calm down or I might say something I regret' but that doesn't absolve responsibility for anything you say past that point if the conversation continues anyway. It might make saying something hurtful more forgivable but that still requires actually accepting where you did wrong and asking forgiveness not blaming the other person for making you talk or brushing it off with 'I was just blowing off steam'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
all swedes are racist Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 Thanks! That's more accurate anyway. Especially the goober part. (provided RRL, you, and Gillio weren't on the ballot).Well I was hoping to be on both, but as to the former; though I had a great organization and ran a strong campaign, apparently my Nixonian good looks just don't test well with middle America.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elder Sister Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 Thanks! That's more accurate anyway. Especially the goober part. (provided RRL, you, and Gillio weren't on the ballot). I'm an incumbent; I can't run again, although I would like to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karaddin Posted May 7, 2015 Share Posted May 7, 2015 With brook, Nestor and Kay. That stuff is crossing into abusive, controlling and threatening, not just communicating. Also agree it doesn't absolve you of responsibility for what you say, and if you truly love the person you should be pro actively wanting to apologise after you've hurt them, not shrug it off and avoid it.On the con thing, I think this specific situation sounds bizarre and alarm bells for trying a relationship there but in general with the amount of people that go through the criminal justice system in the US I'd want more details of what they did before being comfortable dismissing them as just an ex con. As a general rule I believe in do your time then get another chance (unless the time is pathetically low for what you did). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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