Moosicus Posted October 12, 2006 Share Posted October 12, 2006 I'm somewhat late to this thread, but in keeping with the theme about Kahlan's issues, could one not make a case for the term "Pillars of Creation" as being something else that might want to rape her? "Pillars of Creation" being an obvious cock metaphor, I think you may be on to something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stego Posted October 12, 2006 Share Posted October 12, 2006 I kinda wanted my own Gratch. I liked the first few. I am tainted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VigoTheCarpathian Posted October 12, 2006 Share Posted October 12, 2006 Stego - is that some sort of Zen koan-style lament for time and money wasted? Cuz I think that it might be time for: SUPER FANTASTIC YEARDI POEM FEST! I'll start us off with a few choice haikus: I. Richard has no more Powers, Kahlan nearly raped A Sword of Truth book II. A little girl's jaw Like delicate porcelain So easy to break III. Objectivism Is much like gonorrhea It burns when you pee Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowbeat Posted October 12, 2006 Share Posted October 12, 2006 Is it wrong that when I saw this thread's subtitle, I immediately thought of Jean's Wicked Sisters? Should I get help? Suicide? People, please. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kuenjato Posted October 13, 2006 Share Posted October 13, 2006 Sorry mod, won't do it again *ducks head* Anyway, I just want to take a moment to thank all the good folks who have contributed to these threads. As someone who read the first book back in '98 and felt as if I'd profoundly wasted several hours of my life by the end, it's been very enjoyable to read the parodies, the goodnatured banter, the "debates" ten or so threads back, the QotD, the formation of the hilariously apt GioG ... ah, goodkind times! Someone should really archive these threads for posterity. I think this quote says it all: "Terry Goodkind and quantum physics in the same thread? Woah!" [Werthead] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AverageGuy Posted October 13, 2006 Share Posted October 13, 2006 I can't remember why TG doesn't allow himself to be connected to the Interweb, though. Does he not wish to be soiled by contact with the outside world? If I recall correctly, he says it's to make sure people who send him story ideas can't sue him if similar ideas pop up in his books. ::cough::RobertJordanAynRand::cough:: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MinDonner Posted October 13, 2006 Share Posted October 13, 2006 Hehehe, I like that, cos his books are so original and everything... is someone going to sue him for sending him the idea of "simple woodsman gains super magic powers and becomes Lord of Everything"? Or "Woman with big boobs and long hair gets almost-raped a lot"? We could probably make a list of things that are guaranteed to happen in the final book, send them to him by snail-mail and cash in when it gets published... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MinDonner Posted October 13, 2006 Share Posted October 13, 2006 By the way, I thought you'd all like to see this very funny review of Pillars of Creation that someone called "hero" posted on Pat's blog: Shit! I bought this Goodkind kid's book. I think it was called Pillars of Creation. Anyways, it's all about this girl and a goat and some dude that grabs random rats and bites their heads off. OK, it's about that and then it's suddenly about communism as well at the end. lol. Oh, and of course the evil commies are on the same plane of stupidness as the three stooges. At least I don't remember any egotistical, hammer-to-brain twenty page speeches in which the author possesses the main character and babbles over and over the same extremist political agenda that could be condensed to a few sentences or a paragraph. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrainFireBob Posted October 13, 2006 Share Posted October 13, 2006 By the way, I thought you'd all like to see this very funny review of Pillars of Creation that someone called "hero" posted on Pat's blog: Shit! I bought this Goodkind kid's book. I think it was called Pillars of Creation. Anyways, it's all about this girl and a goat and some dude that grabs random rats and bites their heads off. OK, it's about that and then it's suddenly about communism as well at the end. lol. Oh, and of course the evil commies are on the same plane of stupidness as the three stooges. At least I don't remember any egotistical, hammer-to-brain twenty page speeches in which the author possesses the main character and babbles over and over the same extremist political agenda that could be condensed to a few sentences or a paragraph. He missed the speech where Richard was arguing with the Bandakar/translating the statue, was speaking with the Wise One, and was originally arguing with whats-his-name who poisoned him were actually one extended speech? Seriously, I do have an issue with the Goodkind hate. I have four reasons for it: 1) I thought Stone of Tears was a good fantasy book. 2) I thought Faith of the Fallen was a good fantasy book. 3) I lug Gratch. 4) Insane prophets who know almost everything and may or may not be insane are awesome. Hence, Nathan is awesome- in concept, at least. Mind, I'm not saying they were the greatest, but those two in particular I've no problem saying I enjoyed- sexual aspects not withstanding (although on ASOIAF, I think I could perhaps ignore adding the disclaimer). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moosicus Posted October 13, 2006 Share Posted October 13, 2006 BrainFireBob, We all lug gratch. Nathan may be the least annoying character in SoT. Otherwise, get help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrainFireBob Posted October 13, 2006 Share Posted October 13, 2006 BrainFireBob, We all lug gratch. Nathan may be the least annoying character in SoT. Otherwise, get help. Well, they are still preachy. But there's enough fantasy story it's not central. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oneeye Posted October 13, 2006 Share Posted October 13, 2006 I'm reading phantom right now... Nicci in a pink night gown sprouting philosophy.... woohoo! And Barracus left Richard a guide "How to be a War Wizard" 3k years ago... about damn time! One wonders that disease hasn't wiped out the shaggy, greasy imperial order army long ago. but rachel is back, and she kicks butt arya style so all is good in the middle kingdom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fanatic-Templar Posted October 13, 2006 Share Posted October 13, 2006 If I recall correctly, he says it's to make sure people who send him story ideas can't sue him if similar ideas pop up in his books. Is it just me or does he sound slightly very paranoid? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oneeye Posted October 13, 2006 Share Posted October 13, 2006 I miss gratch too, stupid chimes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Errant Bard Posted October 13, 2006 Share Posted October 13, 2006 He missed the speech where Richard was arguing with the Bandakar/translating the statue, was speaking with the Wise One, and was originally arguing with whats-his-name who poisoned him were actually one extended speech?I suspect a mental block. Notice he said that like he was relieved he didn't remember, yet described the thing perfectly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moosicus Posted October 14, 2006 Share Posted October 14, 2006 I'm reading phantom right now... Oh for the love of God please stop!!!!!!!! You don't know what you're getting into!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ser Brendan the Voyager Posted October 14, 2006 Share Posted October 14, 2006 Oh for the love of God please stop!!!!!!!! You don't know what you're getting into!!!! Trust me I knwo exactly what you are saying. I Red WFR when i first came out and thought this is a good fantasy (granted teh whole plot line is stolen from lijek 4 other series). then the next book came out and i figured well you better read it you read the last one, then the next one and again had to read it cause i had invest so much time. Now it is like umpteen books later of this sorry commy drivel and I dont knwo what to do. Should i burn all the books in efigy of the hopless life i have lead of buy the last book when it comes out? It is a horrible cycle you can get yourself caught in with these books. SOT books summarized: Richard has his sword Richard looses his sword Richard has his magic Richard looses his magic Richard has Kahlan Richard looses kahlan Richard preaches about the evils of the world... Richard preaches about the evils of the world... Richard preaches about the evils of the world... Richard preaches about the evils of the world..... and then Richard preaches some more. and about 5 times between all that Kahlan almost gets raped. Then the end. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moosicus Posted October 14, 2006 Share Posted October 14, 2006 Ser Brendan, that's exactly where I've found myself. I decided to keep going with the series, and it was a big mistake. I cannot stop myself, I have to read all the books, I've come this far and I can't stop. Don't make my mistake, give up now, before its too late. It's really not worth the pain and misery. At the end you'll find yourself a broken man, lingering on some message board quoting Terry's crap, listening to other people bitch about how awful he is, and at the end thinking..... if only I'd just stopped reading the stupid yutz, if only.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ser Brendan the Voyager Posted October 14, 2006 Share Posted October 14, 2006 Aye Madly Mousekins (drunk dont mind me) I agree why prolong the torture of this torturous series. But i have read 11 books now. and there is only one more. If richard doesnt master his magic by half way through the book then i am going to take me M249 SAW and reak havok on the streets of Bagdad (I am in Bagdad right now so no mean threat). Seriously it will be true civil war!!! That bastard Goodkind better make a great finish to this story that has done nothing but stroke his own ego about what a great philosopher he is. Darn it i am so close to the finish i have to finish it!!! AND I HATE THAT.!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moosicus Posted October 14, 2006 Share Posted October 14, 2006 Ser Brendan, [stop calling me Mouse, I'm a Moose] You're in the same boat I'm in, you've gone too far to stop, so I feel your pain. The only advice I can give is to read the last book, and join me and my cohorts here in mocking it. As for being in Baghdad, I guess that kinda sucks. But as the brother of an American soldier I gotta say, you rock! I know you're in a hard situation right now, but know that my thoughts and prayers are with you (and in this I think I can speak for all of us on this TG (BBNC) thread). As one of us I'm sure you know your duty, that you have a choice. You can be a true soldier, always defending yourself and your brothers, as well as the defenseless people you see every day. And you must kill when that is the only choice that confronts you (a hard choice, but one that must be made, and one that I respect). Keep in mind that the Terry Goodkind way is to kill everybody who might be an enemy, to torture people for no practicle goal, and to slaughter innocent people. Don't ever fall into that trap. Take care of yourself. It is my dearest hope that we will see you posting here for many years to come. SEMPER FI!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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