ElizabethB. Posted June 21, 2015 Share Posted June 21, 2015 Double. But a convenient double because all I have to do is edit to say that that is the weirdest cartoon ever, lol.I watched the episode and I thought that it was adorable. All the girls should have a friend like him :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zoë Sumra Posted June 21, 2015 Share Posted June 21, 2015 I'm the same, and I said that before transition - if my partner has a better surname I'm happy taking it, but my surname is pretty uncommon and I like it for the most part. If Lena Headey married me, then she's probably getting me to change my name. I'd say the same for Natalie Dormer, but then we'd both be Natalie Dormer and that would just get confusing. Brook's last name is not superior, so no change :p :D I haven't changed my passport to MCGeek's name yet, as it had 8 years on it when we got married, but I use his name in almost all circumstances. My first plus surname combination is quite common in my age group (I've never liked my original surname as it strikes me as very dull), whereas my first name plus his last name is, I think, unique, and I like it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karaddin Posted June 21, 2015 Share Posted June 21, 2015 Exactly the way to do it, by our powers combined, we can get better names Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted June 21, 2015 Share Posted June 21, 2015 I wasn't that attached to my surname. I have a lot of names because my parents originally hyphenated their name and then decided it was too pretentious, so I just have my mother's surname as a second middle name. I'm not married, but at this point I think I would keep my name just because a) too long to add to the pile and b ) for the last several years, I've noticed that students at my school don't even bother with Ms. Surname. They just call me Surname like I'm in the military or something. (At least they finally figured out how to pronounce it right.) It's rubbed off on my colleagues as well, so we often just call each other by surnames as well. If I'm going to have to be referred to by my surname all day, it might as well be the one I was born with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Athias Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 I found it weird that when I once told my Sociology teacher that my mother kept her maiden name, my teacher referred to her as a strong woman. I then questionned this by bringing up the notion of women bearing their father's last names. Needless to say that she was stumped when I pressed on. I think it's moot. If you're female and you want to take your husband's name, take it. If you don't want to take his name, then don't. If you want your children to bear your last name, then give them your last name. If you want a name entirely free from "male influence" then make one up. My daughter bears her father's last name, and neither I, my daughter, nor her father seems to take issue with that. I, myself, bear my father's last name as a token of affection for him, my uncle--of whom I was very fond--and all other members of my family who also bear that name. Besides, I really do like the name Athias. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seventh Pup Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 I kept my name for all kinds of complicated reasons. I have to say, it's now kind of a pain in the butt - it's hard for me to do things for the family (that all have the same last name). So, in theory I see all the arguments for keeping ones own name. In practice. . . meh. I'm actually in this place. When we got married a few years ago I decided to keep my name, because I love my name. But now we have a kid, and suddenly it's kind of a pain in the arse. I am seriously thinking about changing my name, but I also have a lot of complicated feelings about it. One is that I totally don't buy the "it's your father's name" argument. My father gave me my last name, just like my mother gave me my first and middle name, but both of them gave those names to ME. I own them, they have been mine since birth. When my son was born I gave my husband the choice of last names, he choose to give our son the same last name as him. I got total say on the middle name, and named him after my step father, and we had to agree on the first name. Now that I am doing things like enrolling our son in daycare, taking him to appointments, etc it's become kind of a hassle. At one point we got a huge bill from his doctor's office because they billed our insurance using my last name for our son instead of his actual last name. Our daycare almost gave away our spot because of confusion, etc. More then that emotionally I've found I want to have the same last name as my child. I grew up not having the same last name as my mother or my sister, and while it was fine, I kind of wish we'd all had one family name. I find that longing has intensified now with my son. But I still love my name, and am proud of my heritage. I don't dislike my husband's name, but I don't love it either, it definitely feels like his name. (I've tried to get him to agree to a separate last name, but that's a no go. He actually loves that I kept my last name, does not really want me to change it, but he loves his name too and doesn't want to changes his). I keep going back and forth, should I change, should stay the same. First world problems I know, but one that I've been feeling lately! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quorra Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 I'm actually in this place. When we got married a few years ago I decided to keep my name, because I love my name. But now we have a kid, and suddenly it's kind of a pain in the arse. I am seriously thinking about changing my name, but I also have a lot of complicated feelings about it. One is that I totally don't buy the "it's your father's name" argument. My father gave me my last name, just like my mother gave me my first and middle name, but both of them gave those names to ME. I own them, they have been mine since birth. When my son was born I gave my husband the choice of last names, he choose to give our son the same last name as him. I got total say on the middle name, and named him after my step father, and we had to agree on the first name. Now that I am doing things like enrolling our son in daycare, taking him to appointments, etc it's become kind of a hassle. At one point we got a huge bill from his doctor's office because they billed our insurance using my last name for our son instead of his actual last name. Our daycare almost gave away our spot because of confusion, etc. More then that emotionally I've found I want to have the same last name as my child. I grew up not having the same last name as my mother or my sister, and while it was fine, I kind of wish we'd all had one family name. I find that longing has intensified now with my son. But I still love my name, and am proud of my heritage. I don't dislike my husband's name, but I don't love it either, it definitely feels like his name. (I've tried to get him to agree to a separate last name, but that's a no go. He actually loves that I kept my last name, does not really want me to change it, but he loves his name too and doesn't want to changes his). I keep going back and forth, should I change, should stay the same. First world problems I know, but one that I've been feeling lately! Why can't you use both? Either hyphenate or just add it on? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seventh Pup Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 Personally I don't see myself hyphenating. Personal choice, but I feel like for me it would just make me have a weird long last name that was still different from my family's. ( It's not that our last names clash, but they don't flow either. Also both of our last names sound like men's first names. So then I would sound like I had two ladies' first names and two men's first names)I have been thinking about adding my last name as a second middle name. But I'm not sure yet. I'm also weirdly afraid of what message it will send my son if he grows up with me having the same last name as his dad. If he knows that I took his dad's name. On the other hand I know what it's like to grow up with your mother having a different last name and that doesn't feel great either. Or at least I didn't like it. It's just a weird thing that I never thought I'd face. I didn't think it would bother me having a different last name than my child. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maithanet Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 I'm also weirdly afraid of what message it will send my son if he grows up with me having the same last name as his dad. If he knows that I took his dad's name. On the other hand I know what it's like to grow up with your mother having a different last name and that doesn't feel great either. Or at least I didn't like it. It's just a weird thing that I never thought I'd face. I didn't think it would bother me having a different last name than my child. It never bothered me in the least that my mother had a different last name. It was her choice and it was a fine one. Although I do remember her mentioning (in my adulthood) that the hassle of having a different last name was annoying, and if she had it to do over again she might change for convenience alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quorra Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 Personally I don't see myself hyphenating. Personal choice, but I feel like for me it would just make me have a weird long last name that was still different from my family's. ( It's not that our last names clash, but they don't flow either. Also both of our last names sound like men's first names. So then I would sound like I had two ladies' first names and two men's first names)I have been thinking about adding my last name as a second middle name. But I'm not sure yet.I'm also weirdly afraid of what message it will send my son if he grows up with me having the same last name as his dad. If he knows that I took his dad's name. On the other hand I know what it's like to grow up with your mother having a different last name and that doesn't feel great either. Or at least I didn't like it. It's just a weird thing that I never thought I'd face. I didn't think it would bother me having a different last name than my child.Your son is going to grow up in such a different world than the one you grew up in, I wonder if this will even matter. Not to diminish the significance of the name but, you know, it might not send a very big message at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Summah Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 My parents have different names and that we all didn't have the same last name didn't bother any of us afaik. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Pepper Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 Seventh Pup, you are the first person I've heard say that having a different name than their child has been a hassle. I almost always hear this from women who decide to change their name as the reason they change it - that it would be a hassle otherwise. But everyone I know who has a different last name as their child for whatever reason (not changing, remarriage, etc) have never had an issue, adult and child. I'm just sort of surprised to hear that it's been a legitimate problem for someone. From personal experience, as long as I could remember I had a different last name from my mom, stepdad, and two siblings. I can't ever remember a time it was remarked upon, I never felt strange about it, my parents never worried about it, and the biggest issues they faced was them being address by my last name when a person didn't know. I am sort of curious what I'll end up doing. It never dawned on me that I'd give my child a name other than my own, even though I'm not all that attached to the family name. My co-parent/sperm donor has vaguely questioned me about whether or not I'd be interested in hyphenating or something. That's out because our surnames rhyme and sound stupid together, but I might be interested in making one up. On another note, John Oliver discussed harassment on the internet last night, focusing specifically on the way women are treated. I'm not involved in gaming or social media so I was very unfamiliar with how much vitriol women receive on those platforms. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zoë Sumra Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 Seventh Pup, you are the first person I've heard say that having a different name than their child has been a hassle. I almost always hear this from women who decide to change their name as the reason they change it - that it would be a hassle otherwise. But everyone I know who has a different last name as their child for whatever reason (not changing, remarriage, etc) have never had an issue, adult and child. I'm just sort of surprised to hear that it's been a legitimate problem for someone. This is why I now intend to change my passport even if still has three years or so left on it. I mentioned up-page that I use my husband's name out of preference anyway, but making it fully official is a lot less trouble for all sorts of admin reasons but especially when travelling. It's far from unheard of for children to be detained when travelling with a parent with a different name, or for the parent to be detained on suspicion of abduction. ETA: I've been trying and failing to find the blog post written by a male gaming commentator about what happened when he logged on to Mass Effect multiplayer under his wife's account. It's an example of how sexism in a particular arena, in this case online gaming, is suddenly made more obvious to the mass of readers when it happens to a man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kalbear Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 Having my stepchildren have a different last name is a total hassle at times. Having to prove that I'm their guardian, assumptions about their name, inability to get emails from the school - it all sucks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Pepper Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 That might have less to do with having a different last name and more to do with being a stepparent. My stepmom's last name is the same as mine and there was paperwork that needed to be filled out by my parents for relevant stuff in order for either of my stepparents to be given private information. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seventh Pup Posted June 23, 2015 Share Posted June 23, 2015 I do think my son would probably be fine with me having a different last name. I think most of my issues with my mom having a different last name come from divorce stuff. No I think what bugs me more is that I don't have the same name as my child. It also freaked me out when we almost lost our spot in daycare because of this. We've been trying to get our son in daycare since he was born. Then last month a spot became available in Sept, I made the deposit and filled out the paperwork. The next day I called to check on what I need to bring to prove vaccinatations and the lady was like " you didn't contact us about the spot we've started calling other families". Everything from the previous day has been misfiled under my last name. Thankfully it worked out, but it really scared me, is this what the rest of his schooling is going to be like? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shryke Posted June 23, 2015 Share Posted June 23, 2015 I thought y'all would find this fascinating and topical:http://link.springer.com/article/10.1007%2Fs10508-013-0081-5Previous studies of men’s breast size preferences have yielded equivocal findings, with studies variously indicating a preference for small, medium, or large breasts. Here, we examined the impact of men’s oppressive beliefs in shaping their female breast size ideals. British White men from the community in London, England (N = 361) viewed figures of women that rotated in 360° and varied in breast size along five levels. They then rated the figure that they found most physically attractive and also completed measures assessing their sexist attitudes and tendency to objectify women. Results showed that medium breasts were rated most frequent as attractive (32.7 %), followed by large (24.4 %) and very large (19.1 %) breasts. Further analyses showed that men’s preferences for larger female breasts were significantly associated with a greater tendency to be benevolently sexist, to objectify women, and to be hostile towards women. These results were discussed in relation to feminist theories, which postulate that beauty ideals and practices in contemporary societies serve to maintain the domination of one sex over the other. Kinda interesting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arkhangel Posted June 23, 2015 Share Posted June 23, 2015 Add me to the pile of people whose mothers had a different surname and it never caused a problem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emberling Posted June 23, 2015 Share Posted June 23, 2015 I bet my article access logs are so weird It seems like it's basically just stating the obvious (well, and providing peer-reviewed empirical support for the obvious, so that's nice). Respondents self-reported attraction, so any cultural/social norms are going to be in full effect. Cultural norms say that men are supposed to want arm-candy Barbie, and that means big boobs, so that's where dudes gonna skew. I'm surprised the mode was in the middle tbh anyway, I'm torn between very small (1/5) and large (4/5). they're all pretty unattractive though. uncanny barbies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElizabethB. Posted June 23, 2015 Share Posted June 23, 2015 I wonder if there is a study about what sort of penises women prefer, and how that correlates with their moral nature.Now, that would be an interesting study. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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