Rant and Rave without Repercussion [Book Spoilers]

[SerMixalot]

So where do they go from here?

the wall Jon is dead, probably some dead raising by melisansbra, davos off to find rickon?

mereen Tyrion and Varys interacting with missanworm? another bro trip?

Dorne and KL at war I suppose, LF what betraying Boltons? boring

trial for Marrg and Cersei might be decent

Kevan and Pycelle killed by LF I suppose

Euron and Riverlands showing up? Not sure where they can go with this stuff

the show seems left without strong plot to build on

[Bosfan]

Saddest thing is when Boltons finally get their comeuppance it will not be very satisfying proportionally to damage they have done. I half expect now for Ramsay to somehow defeat Randyll Tarly.

[kissdbyfire]

Isn't one of Ramsay's bitches in the books expecting? I hope GRRM names two of the dogs in the litter David and Dan in the books.

Oi! Leave the dogs out of this, ok? :)

[Ben H'gahr]

My goodness some of the critics are raving about this Ep and this season. I guess the terms logical, continuity, consistency, cohesive narrative, etc. is not in their vocabulary. Now my fear is that once this stupid show is done and GRRM releases ADOS, there'll be many who claim that the show was superior to the books. Again, GRRM is partly to blame for giving these two bozos the rights to make this show before completing the books.

That's pretty much how I feel.

The whole Stannis-storyline was complete and utter crap - srlsy, I cannot make sense out of this.

Kit Harrington said in an EW-Interview that Jon Snow is gone for good. I can't make sense of this either. Whose story is left to tell then?

[JonCon's Red Beard]

omg, I forgot...

Kevan and Pycelle are alive... :lol:

What the fuck is Varys doing in Meereen?????

Does anybody else kinda feel the show NEEDS Aegon to make some sense?

(also, some JonCon because I say so)

[Cas Stark]

I used to feel that even despite their butchery, the show offering legitimate clues to the outcome and the future of the books, but after this Stannis debacle, I'm not so sure.

I can't see how he loses the battle of Winterfell. Why send the IB to his camp? He's got Theon, he's found out about the Karstark treachery so Boltons plan B is out as well, and they're going out to meet him. How can lose this fight?

[Trickrs]

Hey, when Maester Aemon said "kill the boy" was he referring to Olly?

WOW, IT'S POETRY!

[JonCon's Red Beard]

I used to feel that even despite their butchery, the show offering legitimate clues to the outcome and the future of the books, but after this Stannis debacle, I'm not so sure.

I can't see how he loses the battle of Winterfell. Why send the IB to his camp? He's got Theon, he's found out about the Karstark treachery so Boltons plan B is out as well, and they're going out to meet him. How can lose this fight?

I think he wins but people in the Wall believes him dead so they burn Shireen. He finds out too late.

I also think that Melisandre deserts him at some point. Here in the show is like she has realised R'hllor doesn't work. That's nonsense. R'hllor doesn't but the magic does.

[Dire Dawg]

Oh man. I'm not even sure where to begin. This wasn't a uniformly terrible episode, but it's probably one of the worst episodes I've ever seen. Let's go place by place:

Stannis' Camp

OK, so nearly HALF of Stannis' men deserted in the night with all the horses and nobody is telling him until the middle of the morning? I guess they didn't want to interrupt his beauty rest. Also, the King's wife was able to slip out of the tent and hang herself by her fallopian tubes for being such a woman and nobody saw her or tried to stop her. Then Mel rides out of camp and nobody tries to bring her back. Sure. I guess it makes sense to walk to WF, seeing as it was only about a half a mile down the road. Then came the battle that wasn't. How awkward was that. Show the beginning of the battle and just cut to the aftermath and hope that no one notices? Oh Brienne, if you had only kept up your 87 hour vigil another of couple of minutes you...probably would have never seen that tiny ass candle from a mile away. It's OK though, because you got to play Brienne the Executioner. OR DID YOU? DUN DUN DUN

Braavos

So it's not enough to have Meryn Trant into little girls. He also has beat them with sticks? I guess the audience can't be trusted to fully hate him based on his ephebophilia alone. Then Arya has to go completely horror movie killer on him and give this clumsy list speech because they already blew the Lommy Greenhands scenario a while ago. It's cool though, because apparently you can just take one of those faceless men masks and slip it on no problem. Nobody even locks that room or checks them or anything, and there certainly doesn't have to be an elaborate surgical ritual surrounding it. Then Arya had a full blown LSD trip and I'm not sure what happened.

Dorne

This was by far the worst scene of the episode. Did anyone else pick up on poisoned lipstick right after that long goodbye kiss on the mouth? I'm actually glad Myrcella was poisoned and died, because if I had to go through more of that "Myrcella knows Jaime is her dad and doesn't give a shit" I was going to legit poison myself. Jaime "I sound like an idiot." Pretty much. Who knew that Tyene's "bad pussy" line to Bronn wouldn't be the most absurd thing about this scene? Also, apparently all antidotes in Dorne must be worn on a tiny chain around the neck. It is law. It's going to be pretty weird for Ellaria when they turn that boat right around and bring it back to Dorne and say, "Hey, Myrcella was poisoned. You wouldn't by any chance know anyone who is really good at poisoning people and might have had motive and opportunity, would you?"

Meereen

Hey guys, Greyworm is back! And apparently the Meereenese will listen to him...for some reason. And the Unsullied are the only thing keeping this city from tearing itself apart, even though all they do is constantly get stabbed over and over again. Don't worry though, because High Valyrian speaking St. Tyrion is going to fix everything while Daario and Jorah go on a buddy trip to find Dany. Also, Varys is back! It's like one big family reunion...in that it makes me want to drink heavily. Elsewhere, Dany has to deal with a sleepy Drogon until she's surrounded by a khalasar riding all of the horses stolen from Stannis' camp. Don't worry though, because she totally left a ring clue for them. This was completely better than them finding her eating meat in the shadow of her dragon like a badass.

King's Landing

I actually have to give credit here and say that I thought that the Walk of Shame was pretty well done. Lena Headey acted her fucking ass off. I found it as upsetting as its book's counterpart. My only minor nitpicks have to do with the FM beating people out of the way and the fact that Qyburn can apparently appoint a new member of the Kingsguard even though none of them have died. Also, I like Carol's fun summer haircut.

Winterfell

Who knew that a giant corkscrew was the perfect way to pick a lock. And Sansa can just wander through the middle of WF without anyone questioning what she's doing or why she's not locked in her room. Everyone except for awkward bow wielding Myranda, though. Just...fuck this whole scene. I don't even want to talk about it. It was as absurd as the yelp Myranda gives as she hits the ground. As absurd as Theon's sudden change of character. As absurd as jumping 100 feet down into a drift of snow that somehow exists despite the fact that we saw maybe an inch on the ground during the battle.

The Wall

Poor dumb Jon. He doesn't understand why Sam needs to go all the way down to Oldtown to become a maester for some reason. I mean, it certainly couldn't be his idea or anything. Then they have to have a bonding moment over Sam totes tapping that. Seriously, this is full on half of the Wall scene and it's so fucking stupid. Oh, and apparently Mel can totally ride a horse from just outside of WF to the wall in less than a day. That's not fucking ridiculous at all. Luckily Olly is there to take Jon to the Benjen trap. Then all we need is a revolving door of people stabbing Jon in the stomach while he doesn't do anything. The place of honor of course being reserved for Olly, the most important character and probably Lord Commander elect. I wish I couldn't believe that they took Jon's epic last scene from ADWD and turned it into this below mediocre shit. They fucking made Jon's last word OLLY instead of Ghost? ARTHSETORGD

Ugggghhh. I'm done. There's so much more to write but I seriously can't even right now. I'm so glad that this season is over. I need a break.

Fantastic, Summed up my feelings perfectly. Ugh...this season

[A Ghost of Someone]

Saddest thing is when Boltons finally get their comeuppance it will not be very satisfying proportionally to damage they have done. I half expect now for Ramsay to somehow defeat Randyll Tarly.

The Boltons have perverbally rubbed they victory after victory and treachery in the face of the Starks time and time again. Sansa's experience put it so over the top that it is gratuitous in and of itself. They are like the new Lannisters and Dany, no matter how it appears, they have so much plot armour there is no need for them to worry.

[Visenya Stark]

The North:
Hated the Winterhell arc. Apparently Theon can snap out of Reek status all on his own. Good for him. Sansa's able to wander around Winterhell without anybody noticing. You'd think the guards would be curious why their Lord's wife is wandering around suspiciously. Myranda is the only one who even notices. Then she actually tries to kill Sansa? She must have a death wish from Ramsay. The only good thing that can be said about this arc is that Sansa isn't pregnant with Ramsay's child.

Stannis burned his daughter for what exactly? I think a big sacrifice like King's blood should have given him something more than nice weather. Many of his men abandon him, his wife kills herself and Mel leaves for unknown reasons. And then he goes and loses. D&D couldn't pass up any opportunity to destroy Stannis's character before his big defeat. And Brienne just walks through a battlefield unharmed. Good for her.

Meereen:
Fear not good people of Meereen. Saint Tyrion is here to save the day. And he has his trusty sidekick Varys with him. I'm amazed that the Sons of the Harpy decided to stop killing people. I would have thought that they would have tried to kill Dany's advisors, but I guess I was wrong.

D&D love trying to "improve" on GRRM, don't they? Dany facing off against a Khalasar with Drogon by her side isn't good enough. She has to be completely alone and scared.

Minor nitpick: How does Jorah know Dany is in the wilderness? How does he know she didn't fly to someplace like Volantis?

Braavos:

Meryn Trant doesn't just rape little girls. He hits them too. As if we didn't have enough reason to hate him.

Okay, I'll admit, I liked the way Arya killed him. And since she gouged out his eyes, the Faceless Men decided to blind her. I get that, but how exactly did they blind her??

Dorne:

I think I'm starting to see a pattern. Anytime Cersei or Jaime tell someone about their incest, that person ends up dying. The High Septon got lucky! The Sand Snakes don't seem to care that Myrcella dying of mysterious circumstances will lead to them falling under suspicion. Not to mention, the heir to Dorne is going to be in even greater danger now that Myrcella is dead. Crackpot: the Sand Snakes want Trystane to die so that one of them can be named heir to Dorne.

King's Landing:

The Walk of Shame Atonement happened really suddenly. There was no buildup to it. Other than that, this part of the episode was fine. Lena`s acting was brilliant.

The Wall:

Jon Snow knows nothing. He got such a clueless look on his face when Sam talked about going to the Citadel. It`s not like Jon could have suggested this idea. Poor Jon Snow gets tricked into a trap. And his last word was Olly? D&D sure do love their original characters. Next thing you know, Olly will be sitting on the Iron Throne.

[Good Guy Garlan]

Oi! Leave the dogs out of this, ok? :)

Yeah, I love dogs, they don't deserve that. Surely GRRM can come up with a couple of Frey redshirts called Benyoff and Weyss

So where do they go from here?

the wall Jon is dead, probably some dead raising by melisansbra, davos off to find rickon?

mereen Tyrion and Varys interacting with missanworm? another bro trip?

Dorne and KL at war I suppose, LF what betraying Boltons? boring

trial for Marrg and Cersei might be decent

Kevan and Pycelle killed by LF I suppose

Euron and Riverlands showing up? Not sure where they can go with this stuff

the show seems left without strong plot to build on

What even is Meereen anymore? No Hizdahr, no Yunkaii, no Quentyn, no nothing

[JonCon's Red Beard]

Yeah, I love dogs, they don't deserve that. Surely GRRM can come up with a couple of Frey redshirts called Benyoff and Weyss

LOL; I've been thinking the same since the ep. finished.

There is NO WAY we won't see some D&Ds in the next book.

[Florina Laufeyson]

omg, I forgot...

Kevan and Pycelle are alive... :lol:

What the fuck is Varys doing in Meereen?????

Does anybody else kinda feel the show NEEDS Aegon to make some sense?

(also, some JonCon because I say so)

I feel like Aegon might actually happen tbh. I just have this feeling we may still get him....

[SerMixalot]

Am I the only one who wished it was D&D instead of Cersei on the WoS with the Septa yelling Shame SHame SHame

[R4W13Y]

That's because retards pulling shit out of their asses is better writing than the show has had all season

Haha and these people think of the arc along the entire season, and see what would make sense from what we've seen so far rather than "what would be cool?!?!"

I would have liked the Arya stuff if they hadn't felt the need to go over the top again with 3 girls and he's beating them? WTF. Why couldn't they start the scene with Arya and Trant alone? So much better.

Agreed. I also would have liked her to kill him a little more calmly. Like, we had the crazy passionate and messy killing of the Frey guy at the campfire after the RW. I would have liked a more...passionless, strategic, cold kill this time around. Just doesn't seem like she matured/learned anything from the FM at all (as has already been discussed).

I won't lie. I missed her diarrhea. :(

Same :(

I also missed the grass. I expected like...plains of tall grass with some small hills/caves in the distance. Not...Ireland. Why does every location look like Ireland?

Loras was so wrong. That candle totally replaced the sun, the way Brienne could see it miles away and through a light blizzard

That candle was ungodly bright.

>On the grand battlefield of the siege of Winterfell, Brienne sees Stannis

>He is barking orders to his men

>"More men on the ladders! Send as many as it takes! Fathers first!"

>At a moment where he is unguarded, she charges with her horse

>Stannis turns his head to face her, his eyes burning bright red, his mouth twisted into a grimace resembling a smile

>She lands a true blow with her sword that should have cut any normal man in half

>The deep cut does not ooze blood, and suddenly burns bright red

>"Fool!" bellows Stannis, his voice now impossibly deep and guttural."Witness the power granted to me by the burning of Shireen!"

>"YOU HAVE ONLY DESTABILIZED THIS MORTAL BODY! COWER AT THE SIGHT OF MY TRUE FORM"

>Stannis' skin quickly falls apart, revealing a red-hot interior that looks like magma

>He starts growing taller and taller, his arms spread wide as dark power emanates from his gigantic body

>When he finally stabilizes, he stands tall beyond comprehension and is fully clad in a burning suit of molten, black armor.

>His face is covered by a thick flaming beard and horns have sprouted from his brow

>In his hands, he wields a giant flaming greatsword, etched with runes of darkness

>His gargantuan form begins to shift

>Suddenly, with impossible speed his foot moves, and a molten sabaton crushes Brienne.

>"GAZE UPON ME MORTALS, AND DESPAIR! FEEL THE UNSTOPPABLE MIGHT OF R'HLLOR!"

>As fire begins to rain from the sky and Winterfell is destroyed by a swift swipe of the demon's sword, Bolton men and Stannis' army begin to flee

>They flee knowing they cannot escape their doom, for the world of the living is forever lost

So, a guy managed to write a funnier scene in less than five minutes.

Holy shit, this made my entire week.

Ok try and put your writer hat on for a second and consider the NW or someone like Thorne. Jon has gone off to HH to bring back wildings, you disagree with that. Jon returns with 5000 wildings. ON THE NORTH SIDE OF THE WALL. You choose to let him through.

Then the next episode you kill him. So think, when was the choice to kill Jon made? When he was south of the wall? What happened during that time to make Thorne and the NW decide to kill Jon? Nothing as far as I can tell, except the withholding of information. But it is simply impossible for the NW to not be aware of what happened at HH, cause there are 5000 wildings and the NW who participated in the battle there. So the only thing different between Jon on the North side of the wall and the south side of the wall is 5000 wildings and knowledge of the threat against the NW.

So why would the NW suddenly decide to turn on Jon at this time? If bringing the wildings through was the tipping point, WHY LET HIM THROUGH. Letting him through puts the NW and the conspirators at risk. The wildings would be on Jon's side as he saved them from a fate worse than death.

IT JUST MAKES NO SENSE!

Apparently Thorne, Olly et al. really really wanted to personally kill Jon, at any cost :dunno:

[JonCon's Red Beard]

If people are cheering for Arya, then HBO fucked up her characterization.

I'm gonna go all graphic on her: she's like 10 and she had to masturbate a guy so she could kill him. We're supposed to feel sorry for her to have turned out this way, not celebrate it :dunno:

[Florina Laufeyson]

LOL; I've been thinking the same since the ep. finished.

There is NO WAY we won't see some D&Ds in the next book.

HAH. Dan Shett and Dayved Frey. Both mooks who die some really petty death.

I feel like Sansa has to singlehandedly kill the Boltons for this to have any real payoff.

[CarCrashFiance]

omg, I forgot...

Kevan and Pycelle are alive... :lol:

What the fuck is Varys doing in Meereen?????

Does anybody else kinda feel the show NEEDS Aegon to make some sense?

(also, some JonCon because I say so)

They are alive because the show ended the King's Landing storyline with the 'Walk of Shame' being the big finale. They want to make sure that Cersei's suffering is more important than the Small Council being killed and KL's being deliberately destabilized.

Also this is D&D we are dealing with. $1,000,000 says that they spend a few episodes or scenes building up Kevan and Pycelle again so that the shit-for-brains Unsullied remember who those characters are before Varys arrows them to death. Hell....D&D spent a fucking eternity building Ros-the-Whore up only to fill her with arrows. Varys can borrow Melisandre's Star Trek Teleportation Device and make it to King's Landing with his crossbow.

And adding in Aegon? Connington? Euron? Victarion? Bran? Meera? Jojen? Dothraki?

D&D can't handle dialog between two characters. Juggling dozens of new characters? Putting Bran back into the mix? Should be disastrous.

[Lord Bronn Stokeworth]

LOL; I've been thinking the same since the ep. finished.

There is NO WAY we won't see some D&Ds in the next book.

Preferably killed by Stannis.