Yagathai Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 Carry on my wayward sons. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red Tiger Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 Think 400 posts also warrants a lock Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yagathai Posted June 18, 2015 Author Share Posted June 18, 2015 400, yes. Someone must be asleep at the stick! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seventh Pup Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 Okay reposting this from the last thread which will likely be locked any time now. Mandy and Chat's couldn't you just look for other bi, instead of lesbian, women who might understand they whole "I'm not used to this, but I'm not trying to waste anyone's time either. By the way I am not a "unicorn" so don't message me if you are in a relationship with a guy and want me to be a third party" ? I mean this message board is such a small slice of the internet, and already there are two of you who are looking for the same thing. Frankly both of you are such awesome ladies, I fairly sure you'd be able to at least get enough attention to explore that part of your sexuality a bit more if you wanted to. But then I am straight married lady, who did Match.com 7 years ago; so what do I know. But seriously you guys are awesome. That is all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ser Bucket the Voluminous Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 Reposting as well lol in case the other thread gets locked. 22 and never had a girlfriend. Or sex. I'm don't really care about being a virgin though; I'm perfectly happy waiting until I'm with the right person to have it. And its not that I care about being single, its that I just can't seem to meet a girl that either has an interest in me or isn't taken. There are a lot of reasons why, namely the region I'm in as well as the sort of things I'm interested in, but its still depressing nonetheless. Especially when almost everyone around you are in healthy, happy relationships, and every girl you meet that you're even remotely interested in is already taken. All my life (well, at least since I started liking girls) all I've ever wanted was to find a girl who cares about me and who I'd do anything for. Just to experience things like holding hands while watching the sunset, or singing your favorite songs together while driving in the car. I mean just dumb stuff like waking up and seeing that your partner texted you good morning, or them actually caring about how your day went rather then just asking because your coworkers and its the nice thing to do. Or the looking on her face when you buy her a nice gift, or be able to be there for her when she's going through a difficult time. All that...that's all I've ever wanted to experience. I can honestly, sincerely say that that's all I need from life, all I need to feel like I lived a good life. If you told me tomorrow that I could fall in love but would only get to be alive for one more year, or that I could live another 500 years but never fall in love, I would take the one year. I could trade away literally everything I have, the clothes on my back, hell, even maybe a couple limbs and fingers if it meant I could meet a girl who I could just sit on a bench with while watching the sunset, and not want to be with anyone else, and knowing that the person next to me felt the same. And so far I've never met anyone like that. Or the few girls that might have been good matches were already taken and happy. Its tough, and frustrating as hell and some days I don't know what to do, how much longer I can keep hoping. I keep doing the things people tell me to do like be more confident, go out more often, actually go up to that cute girl at the bar, but every time I do either the girl has no interest in me, I have nothing in common with them, or they already have a boyfriend. Its like I just keep walking into brick walls no matter which path I take. Anyways, yeah. It sucks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aceluby Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 Yeah, don't worry about it. Get some hobby's, do some things that are social, and stop fretting over being alone. People pick up on desperation. You need to be happy with yourself and be your own person, and when that happens people will pick up on the self-confidence, the good qualities you have, and someone will fall into your lap and you'll wonder how you got so lucky. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KiDisaster Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 Ser Bucket, Maybe try going to meetups for things you are interested in to meet more people you have things in common with? Meeting people at bars is, at least in own experience, a horrible way to make actual connections. Are you in college? There's bound to be on-campus groups you could go get involved in. If not, try meetup.com or something like that to find people into the same hobbies as you. Online dating could be something to try too, but it can be frustrating as all hell in its own way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ser Bucket the Voluminous Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 Ser Bucket, Maybe try going to meetups for things you are interested in to meet more people you have things in common with? Meeting people at bars is, at least in own experience, a horrible way to make actual connections. Are you in college? There's bound to be on-campus groups you could go get involved in. If not, try meetup.com or something like that to find people into the same hobbies as you. Online dating could be something to try too, but it can be frustrating as all hell in its own way. Yeah, I mean, I'm not really expecting to actually meet a girl at a bar. XD Most of the girls I end up seeing there are usually not really my type. :P And no I'm not in college, which I'm sure doesn't help. I somehow suspect that my chances would be greatly improved if I were still attending college. I hope to go back at some point but at the moment its just not financially feasible. Hah, as far online dating goes...might be more useful if I were in a bigger city. Anyone that I might actually be a match with is at minimum a few hundred miles away. Also online dating doesn't necessarily change a whole lot of things about dating. It seems nice on paper: "oh, I can meet someone based on her personality!" But really, you're just gonna end up clicking on whoever's most attractive, and being someone that, while not exactly hideous also not exactly Ryan Gosling, getting girls to respond to you is difficult. Probably more difficult than in real life, actually. At least in real life most girls are polite enough to at least acknowledge your existence. Online they can simply choose to not reply. =/ Btw Mandy that's an excellent quote in your signature. xD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maithanet Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 If you feel like you aren't meeting any single people, you should join more activities that involve women your age. By the law of averages, some of them will be single. These activities should also be something you enjoy (or at least want to try), so that you have a good reason to be there other than meeting women, and you'll be more relaxed while you're doing it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KiDisaster Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 Well that is one of the ways in which online dating is frustrating for us guys at least. As a fellow not-so-great-looking guy you do have to expect to send out a lot of messages that aren't going to get replied to, that's true, but it doesn't mean it won't work. I've had some success with it but am currently on a break from it. I saw you post in the other thread that your circle of friends is limited and spread out across the country. Honestly I feel like the best thing for you is to just meet more people. In general. Not just women and not with the explicit goal of finding someone to date. Just meet people. Make friends. Make good impressions and show people why you're a cool person who's worth spending time with. If you don't feel like you are a cool person who's worth spending time with, then you've got much more important things to work on before you can hope to find a meaningful relationship. You might find that what you're feeling now is more loneliness in general than a specific need for a romantic partner (I've been there, being lonely is one of the worst feelings in the world). Even if you don't, meeting more people can only increase your chances of meeting someone you click with as more than a friend, and give you plenty more interesting stories to tell when you do. Plus, convince enough people you're awesome and eventually one of them may have a single friend/relative they're dying to set you up with :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ser Bucket the Voluminous Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 Well that is one of the ways in which online dating is frustrating for us guys at least. As a fellow not-so-great-looking guy you do have to expect to send out a lot of messages that aren't going to get replied to, that's true, but it doesn't mean it won't work. I've had some success with it but am currently on a break from it. I saw you post in the other thread that your circle of friends is limited and spread out across the country. Honestly I feel like the best thing for you is to just meet more people. In general. Not just women and not with the explicit goal of finding someone to date. Just meet people. Make friends. Make good impressions and show people why you're a cool person who's worth spending time with. If you don't feel like you are a cool person who's worth spending time with, then you've got much more important things to work on before you can hope to find a meaningful relationship. You might find that what you're feeling now is more loneliness in general than a specific need for a romantic partner (I've been there, being lonely is one of the worst feelings in the world). Even if you don't, meeting more people can only increase your chances of meeting someone you click with as more than a friend, and give you plenty more interesting stories to tell when you do. Plus, convince enough people you're awesome and eventually one of them may have a single friend/relative they're dying to set you up with :P Yeah, meeting more people would be good. Part of my small group of friends is my fault though. I have a hard time taking an interest in most people because most people I meet tend not to be interested in the same sort of things I am (video games, obscure 80's movies, singing disney songs loudly). Obviously there are a lot of people who like those things out in the world but meeting them can be difficult. I am hoping to move at some point in the near future, hopefully to a place where more of these people exist. :P I'm also just the sort of person who doesn't particularly enjoy smalltalk, and if you're not willing to have long discussions of philosophy or character motivations in whatever movie we just saw, chances are I'm not going to want to be friends with you. I do try to just be a nice, fun guy when I'm at work or in public or whatever. I grew up being an annoying twat and not realizing that I was an annoying twat, so I've spent the better part of my adult life trying to be a better person, with (I hope, at least? >_< ) some modest success. I don't feel like I'm universally loathed, at least. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dog-days Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 Hi Ser Bucket. Your post struck a chord with me. I had my first and so far only relationship in my mid twenties. My ex was in the same position as me, and a couple of years older. We met via online dating, but I don't think either of us would make it in Hollywood. We used OK Cupid. The site's questionnaire-based compatibility match is quite good - it's a quick way of filtering through people to find the ones with whom you have something in common, and makes things less shallow. Ex and I were quite similar in some ways, but rather different in our attitudes to love and sex. I read somewhere that people either view their virginity as a gift or a curse. He, despite being older, liked to describe himself as a romantic, and took the former view. I took the latter. He was very much about looking for a first perfect girlfriend - a perfect fit - to marry and have kids with. I was/am about a few years of serial monogamy and experimentation. From that first relationship, I learnt that I need to sort out myself and my own situation in life before I think about getting involved with anyone else. Perhaps in later ones I'll learn more about what I can offer someone and what I need from them. One downside of internet dating is that it's so deliberate that it's hard - at least for me - to have any feelings of attraction towards the dates when I meet them in person. The closest I ever came to falling in love was with someone at work who was totally off limits; interacting with him frequently without the fakeness of arranged dates, talking about things, and learning to trust him organically were what made a few neurons in my brain go rogue from the general pack. The stuff people here are saying about making an effort to get involved in social activities that you find interesting is very sensible advice. I've only recently been able to follow it, having been too poor/too peripatetic/too shy to be able to do much of it before now, but I've found that social hobbies have improved both my self-confidence and powers of small talk. Anyway, best of luck. Being proactive is the most important thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lessthanluke Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 Well that is one of the ways in which online dating is frustrating for us guys at least. As a fellow not-so-great-looking guy you do have to expect to send out a lot of messages that aren't going to get replied to, that's true, but it doesn't mean it won't work. I've had some success with it but am currently on a break from it. I saw you post in the other thread that your circle of friends is limited and spread out across the country. Honestly I feel like the best thing for you is to just meet more people. In general. Not just women and not with the explicit goal of finding someone to date. Just meet people. Make friends. Make good impressions and show people why you're a cool person who's worth spending time with. If you don't feel like you are a cool person who's worth spending time with, then you've got much more important things to work on before you can hope to find a meaningful relationship. You might find that what you're feeling now is more loneliness in general than a specific need for a romantic partner (I've been there, being lonely is one of the worst feelings in the world). Even if you don't, meeting more people can only increase your chances of meeting someone you click with as more than a friend, and give you plenty more interesting stories to tell when you do. Plus, convince enough people you're awesome and eventually one of them may have a single friend/relative they're dying to set you up with :P I think I got a total of maybe 5 replies and 2 dates in about 6 months of online "dating" not worth the effort for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ser Bucket the Voluminous Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 Hi Ser Bucket. Your post struck a chord with me. I had my first and so far only relationship in my mid twenties. My ex was in the same position as me, and a couple of years older. We met via online dating, but I don't think either of us would make it in Hollywood. We used OK Cupid. The site's questionnaire-based compatibility match is quite good - it's a quick way of filtering through people to find the ones with whom you have something in common, and makes things less shallow. Ex and I were quite similar in some ways, but rather different in our attitudes to love and sex. I read somewhere that people either view their virginity as a gift or a curse. He, despite being older, liked to describe himself as a romantic, and took the former view. I took the latter. He was very much about looking for a first perfect girlfriend - a perfect fit - to marry and have kids with. I was/am about a few years of serial monogamy and experimentation. From that first relationship, I learnt that I need to sort out myself and my own situation in life before I think about getting involved with anyone else. Perhaps in later ones I'll learn more about what I can offer someone and what I need from them. One downside of internet dating is that it's so deliberate that it's hard - at least for me - to have any feelings of attraction towards the dates when I meet them in person. The closest I ever came to falling in love was with someone at work who was totally off limits; interacting with him frequently without the fakeness of arranged dates, talking about things, and learning to trust him organically were what made a few neurons in my brain go rogue from the general pack. The stuff people here are saying about making an effort to get involved in social activities that you find interesting is very sensible advice. I've only recently been able to follow it, having been too poor/too peripatetic/too shy to be able to do much of it before now, but I've found that social hobbies have improved both my self-confidence and powers of small talk. Anyway, best of luck. Being proactive is the most important thing. I'm sorry your last relationship didn't work out. :( I'm on OkCupid as well, and I do like the way its set up, and for what its worth I have found a couple people that seem like, if I were to meet them in real life, would probably end being at least a good friend, if not something more. Sadly they've all been located quite a ways away. =/ I wouldn't necessarily view my virginity as a gift, per se, but its definitely far from a curse. I guess I do take a measure of pride in it. I can honestly say I'm not in just for the short game, and that I'm not one to "sleep around" so to speak. Having sex to me just never seemed all the important or like something I need to chase after. Not that I don't want to eventually have it; I'm just for more concerned with finding a girl I actually like spending time with. :) I know how you feel about having feelings for a coworker. I'm kind of interested in this girl I work with, buuuuut she's kind of dating someone else right now. Now, I'm definitely not the sort of guy to try and break people up or convince a girl to cheat on her boyfriend or anything like that. This guy she's dating, however, is complete tool and flirts with almost every attractive coworker that works there. And thats not just me trying to be jealous and smear him, literally no one that works there likes the guy, and the couple girls that I'm friends with thinks its super douchey that he's always flirting with them. Anyway, she messaged me the other night and we got to talking about him and she admitted she's not sure about him, and that she has her doubts and that other people have talked to her about her boyfriend and how they think he's not a good guy. She also told me she thinks I'm a really good guy and not the sort of guy who would sleep around and who be devoted and stuff like that. I think we spent about three hours total messaging each other last night. So yeah, its a complicated situation to say the least. I flat out told her I didn't like her boyfriend, but that she should be with whoever makes her the happiest, and if that guy was the guy she's dating now then she should absolutely stay with him. Her being happy is ultimately the most important thing. Thing is though she admitted she wasn't sure if she was happy... tl:dr; This girl I kinda like is taken, but obviously has at least some feelings for me and is considering, at least somewhat, leaving her current bf, and I'm struggling with not being at douchey guy who breaks people up and my feelings for her, which would obviously benefit from their breaking up. Ugh. Chemicals in my brain, I hate you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dog-days Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 I'm sorry your last relationship didn't work out. :( Oh, don't be. At least, not for me. On my part, it was never truly serious, and I often didn't like him very much. I was in it for the experience. I would feel sorry for him because he wasted his virginity on a non-ideal woman, but I don't think he was that bothered in the end, and he will no doubt find someone who ticks all his boxes in future. I'm on OkCupid as well, and I do like the way its set up, and for what its worth I have found a couple people that seem like, if I were to meet them in real life, would probably end being at least a good friend, if not something more. Sadly they've all been located quite a ways away. =/ I wouldn't necessarily view my virginity as a gift, per se, but its definitely far from a curse. I guess I do take a measure of pride in it. I can honestly say I'm not in just for the short game, and that I'm not one to "sleep around" so to speak. Having sex to me just never seemed all the important or like something I need to chase after. Not that I don't want to eventually have it; I'm just for more concerned with finding a girl I actually like spending time with. :) That's quite an unusual and rather mature attitude. I hope it works out for you as you would like it to. :) This girl I kinda like is taken, but obviously has at least some feelings for me and is considering, at least somewhat, leaving her current bf, and I'm struggling with not being at douchey guy who breaks people up and my feelings for her, which would obviously benefit from their breaking up. Ugh. Chemicals in my brain, I hate you. Evil chemicals. I'd offer advice, but it'd probably lead to disaster. If I weren't worried about that, then I'd tell you to make sure in a non creepy way that she knows you admire her. Then, whether or not she wants to be with you, the little self-esteem boost might encourage her to leave her horrible boyfriend. However, I think the more romantically adept people on this thread will be able to offer some better suggestions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelli Fury Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 My dad is 58 and he goes on plenty of dates Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Littlefingers In The Air Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 I'd date a 58 year old me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larry of the Lawn Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 My dad is 58 and he goes on plenty of dates Your dad is hot, Kay, and I would totally date him. I'm telling you, masons are where it's at. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelli Fury Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 Yeah, he's been in the Union for I believe almost 35 years, still working Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelli Fury Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 I WAS AT YOUR BIRTHDAY Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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