Kojiro Posted July 10, 2015 Share Posted July 10, 2015 a while ago in an LGBT space I ran into a realtor who really tried to sell me on renting this room from a gay couple he knew. it was cheaper than where I'm staying now and not too far away from school (though if I walked I'd have to go through a really dangerous area). But I wasn't sure, I definitely would rather not have roommates I don't already know, and something just seemed ... I was sure it wasn't a good idea but wasn't sure why. He kept talking about how supportive and welcoming an environment it would be because the landlords were gay and they had drag queens and trans people over at parties all the time ... anyway, I declined, saying I already had a space of my own and he should try to offer it to someone who would otherwise have nothing. Then like three minutes later he moves on to talking with another trans woman who was there and he goes into "Well to be honest I don't really understand transgenders" and then to "So, like, do you still have your ... down there?"Which is exactly what I was afraid of about living with a couple older gay guys. The good old performative acceptance / objectification bait & switch. Sound advice is which is why I intend to screen people in advance. If my randomly roundabout way of searching actually pays off with any prospectives at all. I'm kind of using PMs and the like on the Internet that are essentially "do you know someone that knows someone that knows someone" inquiries. As for SE VA, I don't live anywhere near Virginia. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HairBearHero Posted July 10, 2015 Share Posted July 10, 2015 Touching on GD's flag cube thingy from a couple of pages ago, but what is the significance behind the varied stripe colours? Like, why/when did the rainbow flag become an LGBT symbol? Is it just a reference to accepting everybody across the whole spectrum or is it more complicated than that? (Same question for the trans/agender/genderfluid flags in GD's cube) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robin Of House Hill Posted July 10, 2015 Share Posted July 10, 2015 Touching on GD's flag cube thingy from a couple of pages ago, but what is the significance behind the varied stripe colours? Like, why/when did the rainbow flag become an LGBT symbol? Is it just a reference to accepting everybody across the whole spectrum or is it more complicated than that? (Same question for the trans/agender/genderfluid flags in GD's cube) From Wikipedia. Transgender Pride flag The most prominent[3] of these flag designs is known as the "Transgender Pride flag" which is a symbol of transgender pride and diversity, and transgender rights. Transgender Pride flag The Transgender Pride flag was created by American trans woman Monica Helms in 1999, and was first shown at a pride parade in Phoenix, Arizona, United States in 2000.[6] The flag represents the transgender community and consists of five horizontal stripes: two light blue, two pink, and one white in the center. Helms describes the meaning of the transgender flag as follows: "The stripes at the top and bottom are light blue, the traditional color for baby boys. The stripes next to them are pink, the traditional color for baby girls. The stripe in the middle is white, for those who are intersex, transitioning or consider themselves having a neutral or undefined gender. The pattern is such that no matter which way you fly it, it is always correct, signifying us finding correctness in our lives. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robin Of House Hill Posted July 10, 2015 Share Posted July 10, 2015 Nevertheless, it has sent my paranoia into overdrive and it hasn't been a comfortable feeling. First, I agree with karaddin, that establishing a new online presence is a very good idea. Having a means to communicate with people you trust and who are supportive, is very helpful. Second, and I hope you don't mind my getting a bit clinical, here, but it isn't paranoia. Paranoia is irrational. What you are dealing with is anxiety, based on fear of what may happen due to your uncle's discovery. So sit down, take a deep breath and figure out, what actually is happening and how you can handle it, what is likely to happen and how you can handle it and what is the worst case scenario, and how you can handle that. Here is the important thing. The only thing that is real, is what is actually happening. Everything you fear may happen, is an assumption. Assumptions aren't real. It's okay to be concerned about what may happen and to consider what you may do if it should happen, but don't let it overwhelm you. Okay, that's what my therapist told me and I confess that I don't always believe her, but it has worked for me and I'm not charging you what she charges me :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robin Of House Hill Posted July 10, 2015 Share Posted July 10, 2015 Sorry for the triple post but I got this notification regarding my friend in hospital.This is ######'s sister,#######. Ijust wanted to let everyone know, we have a new angel, ###### completed her journey into heaven. She passed just before 4am.######## and I want to thank you for all the warm thoughts and prayers. We will be in contact with memorial arrangements. God's blessings to all.ETA: For those unfamiliar, her death was due to a medical condition and not due to violence of any sort. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weeping Sore Posted July 10, 2015 Share Posted July 10, 2015 Robin, so sorry for your loss(es) in recent days. That's horrible. @Kojiro - it sounds like a roommate or two is likely in the cards given your income situation. And roommates do suck, but whatever their predilictions they don't have the psychic weight of family. As long as they aren't bigots, hopefully they can take you at face value without a memory of your past to drag you down. Maybe you could find a way to do some cash-only work to supplement the SSI. @everyone - sorry about the identity vacillation, but apparently that is my thing. In fact, one of the most disconcerting things about being bigender (pretty sure that's what I really am) is that I can go around as a functioning cisgender person for days on end, to the point where I'm actually saying to myself "Hmmm, maybe this whole being a woman thing was a form of temporary insanity..." and then wham! Nope. I'm female and it's hard to remember thinking I was male. But therapy's going well and I'm cautiously optimistic about how to negotiate the future... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robin Of House Hill Posted July 10, 2015 Share Posted July 10, 2015 WSNo apologies needed. I will talk more when I get home. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lily Valley Posted July 10, 2015 Share Posted July 10, 2015 Robin, I'm so sorry for your loss. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kojiro Posted July 10, 2015 Share Posted July 10, 2015 Robin, so sorry for your loss(es) in recent days. That's horrible. @Kojiro - it sounds like a roommate or two is likely in the cards given your income situation. And roommates do suck, but whatever their predilictions they don't have the psychic weight of family. As long as they aren't bigots, hopefully they can take you at face value without a memory of your past to drag you down. Well, it's one of the reasons why I'm looking for people who actually understand the problems I'm going through and not just any Tom, Dick, and Harry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robin Of House Hill Posted July 10, 2015 Share Posted July 10, 2015 WS & LV, Thanks for caring. You and the others here, are some of the best folks I could hope to know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HairBearHero Posted July 10, 2015 Share Posted July 10, 2015 Sorry to hear about your loss Robin and thank you for the information Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karaddin Posted July 10, 2015 Author Share Posted July 10, 2015 I'm sorry to hear that Robin, the double hits close together can't be easy.WS - the way you put it sounds an awful lot like the bigender people I know so I suspect you are on the money now. My offer to put you in touch with someone stands, but for all I know you've already found some on your own. Hope you get things more under control. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lany Freelove Cassandra Posted July 11, 2015 Share Posted July 11, 2015 Sorry for the triple post but I got this notification regarding my friend in hospital. ETA: For those unfamiliar, her death was due to a medical condition and not due to violence of any sort. Robin, so sorry for you losses :grouphug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
protar Posted July 11, 2015 Share Posted July 11, 2015 I'm really sorry for your losses Robin :( we're here if you need us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robin Of House Hill Posted July 11, 2015 Share Posted July 11, 2015 Robin, so sorry for you losses :grouphug: I'm really sorry for your losses Robin :( we're here if you need us. Thanks folks. I'm okay. I seem to handle unpleasant events better than pleasant ones. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted July 11, 2015 Share Posted July 11, 2015 [mod] If you're in a thread, you're expected to read the whole thread, including the original post, not just jump in at the end. This is derailing the thread as per the OP, so I have deleted this subthread. [/mod] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deedles Posted July 11, 2015 Share Posted July 11, 2015 Robin, I'm sorry for your loss. Regardless of how well you deal with it, it's still horrid to lose a friend. Transatlantic hugs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gillio Posted July 13, 2015 Share Posted July 13, 2015 Robin, I'm sorry for your loss. Regardless of how well you deal with it, it's still horrid to lose a friend. Transatlantic hugs. Deedles has put this so well, so I'm just going to repeat it! - cept the hugs are across a different ocean! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robin Of House Hill Posted July 13, 2015 Share Posted July 13, 2015 Thanks to all of you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seli Posted July 13, 2015 Share Posted July 13, 2015 Damn Robin, take care. *hugs* offered. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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