Raja Posted August 3, 2015 Share Posted August 3, 2015 How do y'all feel about modesty as a trait in a dating partner? Is it something y'all look for? I can appreciate the trait, but it's not something I look for, personally. I like blunt women. What does modesty have to do with being blunt? Or am I just missing something? Also, my date is 20ish minutes late - no response on her phone. Not sure how long I should wait here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KiDisaster Posted August 3, 2015 Share Posted August 3, 2015 I'd give her another 5-10 max and then leave. Text her to let her know you left and that she can get in touch to reschedule if she wants to. Then leave that ball in her court and move along. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
All-for-Joffrey Posted August 3, 2015 Share Posted August 3, 2015 I'd give her another 5-10 max and then leave. Text her to let her know you left and that she can get in touch to reschedule if she wants to. Then leave that ball in her court and move along. Or don't. 30 minutes late without any notification would definitely be a deal breaker for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lessthanluke Posted August 3, 2015 Share Posted August 3, 2015 Or don't. 30 minutes late without any notification would definitely be a deal breaker for me. Seems a bit of an overreaction. Sometimes unavoidable shit happens. Could be something as simple as being stuck in traffic and the battery in their phone died. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inigima Posted August 3, 2015 Share Posted August 3, 2015 If they're way, way late -- 30+ minutes -- and don't even have the decency to let me know they're behind I don't know that I'd even afford them a courtesy text. I would probably just leave, and if they reach out then maybe I'd give it another go. It's rude and I don't care to be in a relationship where that kind of behavior is the norm. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lessthanluke Posted August 3, 2015 Share Posted August 3, 2015 If they're way, way late -- 30+ minutes -- and don't even have the decency to let me know they're behind I don't know that I'd even afford them a courtesy text. I would probably just leave, and if they reach out then maybe I'd give it another go. It's rude and I don't care to be in a relationship where that kind of behavior is the norm. Or they have no way of letting you know. People in this thread always seem to assume the worst. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inigima Posted August 3, 2015 Share Posted August 3, 2015 Or they have no way of letting you know. People in this thread always seem to assume the worst. It is difficult to have no way to let someone know that in this day and age. Are you really so disorganized that you let your phone die on the way to something as important as a date? And you don't have a car charger? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aceluby Posted August 3, 2015 Share Posted August 3, 2015 I'd still give them another chance and not even expect an excuse, if they called me later and actually wanted to reschedule. But then again.... I'd be pretty surprised if they actually wanted to reschedule. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lessthanluke Posted August 3, 2015 Share Posted August 3, 2015 It is difficult to have no way to let someone know that in this day and age. Are you really so disorganized that you let your phone die on the way to something as important as a date? And you don't have a car charger? Lighten the fuck up dude. Sometimes people forget to charge their phones. SHOCK HORROR. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elder Sister Posted August 3, 2015 Share Posted August 3, 2015 I will admit; I'm a stickler when it comes to being on time. I try not to be rude about it, but I hate HATE it when people are late for things. On a first date, I would probably smile and see how they handled it, and then depending on the vibe I was getting, I would probably chuck the whole thing. I should probably lighten up about it - if it happens once, no big deal. If it happens more than that, it shows an issue I don't feel like dealing with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NestorMakhnosLovechild Posted August 3, 2015 Share Posted August 3, 2015 Lighten the fuck up dude. Sometimes people forget to charge their phones. SHOCK HORROR. Sure - forgetting a charger and letting your phone die completely is a thing that happens like getting struck by lightning is a thing that happens. It really does happen, it's just incredibly rare. And whenever someone tells me that their phone died as an excuse as to why they haven't called or texted me back, I simply take it for what it is - a bit of face-saving social fiction that sounds a lot better than "I just didn't care enough to respond to you." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lessthanluke Posted August 3, 2015 Share Posted August 3, 2015 I guess I live in a different world to you guys. I'm ok with that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lessthanluke Posted August 3, 2015 Share Posted August 3, 2015 whenever someone tells me that their phone died as an excuse as to why they haven't called or texted me back, I simply take it for what it is - a bit of face-saving social fiction that sounds a lot better than "I just didn't care enough to respond to you." More likely in my experience it is the truth and you are just extremely pessimistic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aceluby Posted August 3, 2015 Share Posted August 3, 2015 Sure - forgetting a charger and letting your phone die completely is a thing that happens like getting struck by lightning is a thing that happens. It really does happen, it's just incredibly rare. And whenever someone tells me that their phone died as an excuse as to why they haven't called or texted me back, I simply take it for what it is - a bit of face-saving social fiction that sounds a lot better than "I just didn't care enough to respond to you." I'm notorious for having this happen. I'm just not tied to my phone and prefer my life to be that way. I'll go an entire weekend and not check or charge it. My friends hate it, but shit man... if you wanted to hang out why didn't you make plans more than 20 minutes before? Being single again I'm getting better at it, but I really hate needing to be around my phone 100% of the time. ETA: But if I have plans, I'll be there; regardless of whether my phone is around and charged. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kalbear Posted August 3, 2015 Share Posted August 3, 2015 If someone doesn't have the respect for you to call you to let you know they'll be late, and they are late in the first place - chances are pretty decent they won't have a whole lot of respect for you in any dating that goes along, either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lessthanluke Posted August 3, 2015 Share Posted August 3, 2015 If someone doesn't have the respect for you to call you to let you know they'll be late, and they are late in the first place - chances are pretty decent they won't have a whole lot of respect for you in any dating that goes along, either. Such a ridiculous statement. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kalbear Posted August 3, 2015 Share Posted August 3, 2015 Such a ridiculous statement. Why? Yes, it's possible that all sorts of bad things might happen to someone along the way to a date. Their phone might run out of charge and they might run out of gas or get a flat and they might have lost your phone number and, and, and. At the same time, the chances of that being the main reason are not that likely. Chances are pretty decent - like I said - that if they didn't plan ahead enough to charge their phone that they weren't thinking about that date that much. Chances are that if they were running late to the date, they weren't thinking that much about it - because if they were, they'd probably have taken precautions to not be late. If they don't do that sort of thing, they're probably not the kind of people that respect other's time all that much to begin with, anyway, and in my experience people that don't respect your time won't respect you all that much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lessthanluke Posted August 3, 2015 Share Posted August 3, 2015 We'll have to agree to disagree. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inigima Posted August 3, 2015 Share Posted August 3, 2015 Such a ridiculous statement. Uh... Good argument? Being on time is about respect. If you're a few minutes late, I get that. If you're a few minutes late all the time, I get that too. If you're really late because some shit came up and you let me know, I still get it and I appreciate that I'm not sitting here wondering if you stood me up or how long I should wait. If you're really late and you didn't let me know, then you didn't have any respect for my time. I don't know about you, but I'm a busy guy and my time is valuable to me. It's basic courtesy not to waste it. Standing someone up isn't just rude, it's insulting. If this happens and I get an apologetic text later explaining that they were kidnapped by bandits or something, and that's why they couldn't let me know, then I get it again. But your reasons for standing me up had better be good or you aren't getting a second chance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raja Posted August 3, 2015 Share Posted August 3, 2015 She called me saying that it was something personal with her sister - she didn't get into too much detail ( and that's okay, it was a second date. And we don't really know each other that well. Also said she'll tell me more when I see her). She seemed pretty apologetic and wants to reschedule for this weekend. I've agreed because I think it's genuine and not something she's just making up. And hey, I could be wrong, but I'm willing to take the chance. I like that she called - she could have just as easily left a text instead. I'm not sure what 'taking steps not to be late' means - I've been late for a date before - sometimes things happen that you can't control. Also, I don't own a car charger. I don't know many people who do, tbh. Yeah, got to say I agree with some of the rest here - as arkhangel says below, stuff like that happens. I've forgotten my phone at home plenty of times. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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