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Mental Health Support Group


AsharyaTarstark

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I know this all too well. I was like...this closed off sentinel for a majority of my life until I just broke at some point in highschool. My parents tried sending me to church people to talk to and making me get more involved with the Lord to "get well". Not to knock religion, but it didn't work. Eventually they conceded defeat and took me to a real doctor and it was clinical depression and extreme insomnia. A few years later I got upgraded to Bipolar II and some life events later, a panic disorder and ptsd. 

 

I was unable to attend class my last semester at college due to extreme agoraphobia and anxiety, but I still passed thanks to lax teachers and still submitting work. No one knew. Even after I graduated, I would get so scared of my apartment roommates despite them being my close friends that I would only leave my room to go to work. When I started seeking help again, my doctor helped me with my anxiety and I moved in with a friend who is a social worker so I only have one person to deal with and we live in an isolated suburb, not the city. I was getting better, even though my city shut down my doctors practice because he also worked in a "troubled" area of town providing support for those from broken families, with anger issues, and with drug abuse. He was a saint, and I was okay for a year while I doctor hunted because I put what we did into practice and I got a new job and things were better. I was even off my medication and things were looking up.

 

Then I had a bad coworker. Long story short, he ended up triggering me back into a horrible state where I was unable to work due to constantly reliving trauma in my life, and he began to stalk and harass me with a few other coworkers when I reported his inappropriate behavior. I ended up having to quit my job and face unemployment, draining my grad school savings...and I'm with a new doctor now, on more medication with the added bonus of therapy soon. My parents think it's my fault, saying this happened because I'm irresponsible and can't take care of myself... It's rough.

 

But I know what it's like to go through this for years. For things to feel hopeless and for things to not work. For things to get better and then get bad again. But, I also know, that through all of that and as hard as it is sometimes and through the darkest time, even though we can't focus on them in the moment, we still have those fleeting moments of joy and perfection. So every time things get shitty, I try to look at those moments, and remember that there are so many more to come if those things were able to be light breaking through the clouds. And as this thread and countless other online forums and blogs and youtube videos prove, we're not alone. There are always others out there and like you guys and like me, we're all here to support each other and are all here to talk if someone needs it, because we get it.

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It seems depression is a really wide spread issue these days, is that true?

Can't say I have ever been depressed, don't have a predisposition for it I think. Only times is when my father died last year and when my sister of 11 had a month of extreme panic attacks which had me tense 24/7.

If anybody wants to talk though I might be able to help... Maybe? I am not a professional by any means. Just another person :P just talking about things might help.... Maybe? Perhaps. I don't know.
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It's kind of you but personally I don't find it helpful to speak to people who genuinely have never been depressed because I wouldn't feel comfortable as some people just don't understand; don't get me wrong I'm glad they don't in a way as I wouldn't wish it on anyone but it can be very frustrating and deeply upsetting opening up and talking to someone about it only for them to completely not get it and say things like "just do____" or "just choose to be happy" ...
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It's kind of you but personally I don't find it helpful to speak to people who genuinely have never been depressed because I wouldn't feel comfortable as some people just don't understand; don't get me wrong I'm glad they don't in a way as I wouldn't wish it on anyone but it can be very frustrating and deeply upsetting opening up and talking to someone about it only for them to completely not get it and say things like "just do____" or "just choose to be happy" ...

Ah I see.

 

I know not to say those things at the end of your post, many depressed people have said that talking like that doesn't help. :P

 

It's not just 'I am sad' , I understand that at least. But you're right, if I haven't experienced it I guess I can't be of much help. Guessing it's something you have to recover from one step at a time.

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I don't think depression is something you ever "recover" from actually Felguy. I'm sure you mean well, but I agree with Theda. Talking to someone who hasn't experienced this is quite often frustrating for both parties involved, not to mention difficult/distressing for the one who is suffering from the MH problems. Not all the time of course, I'm sure some people who haven't experienced these problems can be quite helpful. But in most cases...not so much.
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I don't think depression is something you ever "recover" from actually Felguy. I'm sure you mean well, but I agree with Theda. Talking to someone who hasn't experienced this is quite often frustrating for both parties involved, not to mention difficult/distressing for the one who is suffering from the MH problems. Not all the time of course, I'm sure some people who haven't experienced these problems can be quite helpful. But in most cases...not so much.

Oh I thought you could :/ I will just stop talking now.

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Anyone ever get those days where everything feels certain and solid, but the next morning everything just goes to shit again? It's like a once a week holiday from being depressed hah.

Yes. I prefer a once or twice a week holiday to constancy!

Got given a long awaited appointment to see someone but need to change it as I'll be on an aeroplane at the time. Sigh. And a pharmacist refused to sell me something I'd had recommended, though not prescribed, by a medical professional, so I'm not having much luck at the moment.
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I don't know whether it's good or bad, but the intrusive thoughts and anxiety seems to just show up in a burst (usually after a "trigger"), stick around for a time, then gradually fade away. At least it's not accompanied by that awful depressed numbness and apathy. Still working on not "feeding" them or dwelling on them. That's a hard habit to break, since I've always been prone to rumination and dwelling on my mistakes. Careful breathing seems to help. 

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Anyone ever get those days where everything feels certain and solid, but the next morning everything just goes to shit again? It's like a once a week holiday from being depressed hah.

Yep. I wouldn't be able to cope if it was completely 24/7 depression. I mean, of course it's always there but when I'm with friends I'm momentarily really happy and excited and laughing and sometimes something little will happen and I'll feel okay, and think my life is alright and then the next day all that positive energy is gone. But mostly I feel awful and at my worst in the evenings like I might do something stupid and I wake up the next day and feel embarrassed at being so "dramatic" it was that kind of feeling that stopped me and does still stop me from going to the doctor or anything, because I'm not depressed "enough"
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It's my day off and it's 2 in the afternoon and I'm still in bed. I have been awake for hours, since about half 9 but I haven't been able to leave my bed...just couldn't do it...

 

then plainly you aren't drinking enough fluids.

 

[spoiler]

and?  So you've spent the day in day tief verstecht in diener neste to misquote somebody

 

the essence here is that you find it necessary to blame yourself for doing it, the ideal Theda Baratheon of course never spends a day in day, she bounces around from brilliant achievement to brilliant achievement generally being all sparkly and inspirational.  For the real woman, however, a day in bed is a fact of life.

 

The hardest thing is break away from blaming yourself and to be able to accept yourself days in bed and all.  OK if you want objectively there will always be someone worse off - such is the scale of suffering in the world, there'll always be someone like that old woman in Candide born the illegitimate daughter of a Pope who ends up having one of her buttocks eaten during the siege of Azov.  But you don't get to lead all those lives (unless you are the illegitimate daughter of a pope).  We have only our own lives, our own difficulties which really we can only measure of the scale of ourselves.

 

What is difficult to us.  What feels hard to ourselves.  What we find challenging.  How we want or expect ourselves to feel.  Where you are on your own scale of normalcy, where you'd rather be.

 

Do you know the joke about how many psychiatrists it takes to change a lightbulb?  When you are ready, you will find what you need to be able to change yourself.  Change though is scary, even the unpleasant can be a comfortable and familiar space.  It is easy to make that part of ones own personality, to hold back from accepting what whatshisname said about not being able to cross the same river twice.  [/spoiler]

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Yep. I wouldn't be able to cope if it was completely 24/7 depression. I mean, of course it's always there but when I'm with friends I'm momentarily really happy and excited and laughing and sometimes something little will happen and I'll feel okay, and think my life is alright and then the next day all that positive energy is gone. But mostly I feel awful and at my worst in the evenings like I might do something stupid and I wake up the next day and feel embarrassed at being so "dramatic" it was that kind of feeling that stopped me and does still stop me from going to the doctor or anything, because I'm not depressed "enough"

Yeah that's pretty much near identical to the way I carry on most days, I think it's the good vibes off some people you meet or socialize with rub off on you and you feel pretty good. Then once the silence sets in and you're sitting by yourself, your thoughts start fucking your head up with shit so you feel worse all of a sudden. Yeah still feel like I'm wasting the doctors time and people I know by trying to talk about anything relating to mental health, It's a weird cycle that no matter how bad I can get I still sorta think I'm just wasting others times and effort.

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then plainly you aren't drinking enough fluids.

 

[spoiler]

and?  So you've spent the day in day tief verstecht in diener neste to misquote somebody

 

the essence here is that you find it necessary to blame yourself for doing it, the ideal Theda Baratheon of course never spends a day in day, she bounces around from brilliant achievement to brilliant achievement generally being all sparkly and inspirational.  For the real woman, however, a day in bed is a fact of life.

 

The hardest thing is break away from blaming yourself and to be able to accept yourself days in bed and all.  OK if you want objectively there will always be someone worse off - such is the scale of suffering in the world, there'll always be someone like that old woman in Candide born the illegitimate daughter of a Pope who ends up having one of her buttocks eaten during the siege of Azov.  But you don't get to lead all those lives (unless you are the illegitimate daughter of a pope).  We have only our own lives, our own difficulties which really we can only measure of the scale of ourselves.

 

What is difficult to us.  What feels hard to ourselves.  What we find challenging.  How we want or expect ourselves to feel.  Where you are on your own scale of normalcy, where you'd rather be.

 

Do you know the joke about how many psychiatrists it takes to change a lightbulb?  When you are ready, you will find what you need to be able to change yourself.  Change though is scary, even the unpleasant can be a comfortable and familiar space.  It is easy to make that part of ones own personality, to hold back from accepting what whatshisname said about not being able to cross the same river twice.  [/spoiler]

i really appreciate the sentiment but it's just so hard to genuinely be nice to oneself when you're depressed i constantly go through about 100 nasty things i say to myself a day but if it was easy and i could just click a switch to not do that then i totally would. i don't want to come across as a miserable cow just feeling sorry for herself but this is the one thread where i feel like i can just put down the nasty things im thinking or feeling and not feel like im intruding on peoples time....

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Yeah still feel like I'm wasting the doctors time and people I know by trying to talk about anything relating to mental health, It's a weird cycle that no matter how bad I can get I still sorta think I'm just wasting others times and effort.

Which is a classic symptom of depressive disorders. *huggles everyone*
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Yeah that's pretty much near identical to the way I carry on most days, I think it's the good vibes off some people you meet or socialize with rub off on you and you feel pretty good. Then once the silence sets in and you're sitting by yourself, your thoughts start fucking your head up with shit so you feel worse all of a sudden. Yeah still feel like I'm wasting the doctors time and people I know by trying to talk about anything relating to mental health, It's a weird cycle that no matter how bad I can get I still sorta think I'm just wasting others times and effort.


I know what you mean about feeling like you are wasting a doctors time. There are also certain doctors/nurses I've encountered (this was in a general ward so they weren't MH specialists) who just don't seem to have the time of day for you. It's really disheartening, and contributes to that feeling that there's nothing really wrong with you and you are just wasting everyone's time. Not pleasant to experience at all
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I know what you mean about feeling like you are wasting a doctors time. There are also certain doctors/nurses I've encountered (this was in a general ward so they weren't MH specialists) who just don't seem to have the time of day for you. It's really disheartening, and contributes to that feeling that there's nothing really wrong with you and you are just wasting everyone's time. Not pleasant to experience at all

It can really put people off looking for help honestly, I've thought about it a lot and I still haven't the nerve to go to my G.P to see what my options are. Don't feel like I have a right to ask my friends or family for help either, I still have the idea that it isn't right to push my problems onto them. I should probably go to the G.P soon but I'm hoping once I find work I have a steadier balanced state of mind.

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i really appreciate the sentiment but it's just so hard to genuinely be nice to oneself when you're depressed i constantly go through about 100 nasty things i say to myself a day but if it was easy and i could just click a switch to not do that then i totally would. i don't want to come across as a miserable cow just feeling sorry for herself but this is the one thread where i feel like i can just put down the nasty things im thinking or feeling and not feel like im intruding on peoples time....


I don't ever worry about people saying cruel things to me because I'm capable of so much worse. I feel safe sharing that sort of stuff here for the same reasons here. Even my oldest and dearest have trouble understanding I can't simply turn this part of myself off.
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