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Tips on being less handsome


Nas!

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I've tried going bald, cultivating a beer gut, having terrible posture, and growing hair everywhere but my head, but nothing seems to be working. Men and women embarrass themselves to get my attention. Any suggestions?

 

Show people this post and that will do the trick :)

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Be a cat, all the time. Meow like a cat, groom yourself like a cat (you may need to take up yoga,) and yowl when you do the sexy time like a cat.

People may pet you a bit, but most will try not to have sex with you.

 

Let me get this straight:  Are you advocating that he implant spines upon his penis, like a cat?  And that during coitus these spines traumatize the orifice?

 

Damn, son.  That is bold.  Although advertising that your penis is spiny may not have the effect my friend desires...

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I went full on hobo beard. It helped a lot.


I HAVE found that my beard's length is directly related to how attractive I seem to be to others. Short: uncontrollably, medium: good, hobo: less good.

The problem is I've been forced to keep it short for work reasons for the last several years.
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I HAVE found that my beard's length is directly related to how attractive I seem to be to others. Short: uncontrollably, medium: good, hobo: less good.

The problem is I've been forced to keep it short for work reasons for the last several years.


I have recently gone nicely groomed goatee and mustache. The ladies have been eyeing me like nuts.

The more homeless you look the less likely they will be after you.
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I've tried going bald, cultivating a beer gut, having terrible posture, and growing hair everywhere but my head, but nothing seems to be working. Men and women embarrass themselves to get my attention. Any suggestions?


Not really. They just do it out of sympathy, nobody really finds you handsome. And no, this post has nothing to do with my inferiority complex or jealousy with regards to you being handsome.
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