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Best Jaime Lannister quotes


Abdallah

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Jamie talking about Cleos' burial to Genna:

 

Nowhere. The Bloody Mummers stripped his corpse and left his flesh to feast the carrion crows. "Beside a stream," he lied. "When this war is done, I will find the place and send him home." Bones were bones; these days, nothing was easier to come by.

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Jamie making the most out of his image:

"Your former bannermen will make up the first wave of attackers, so you'll start your day by killing the fathers and brothers of men who died for you at the Twins. The second wave will be Freys, I have no lack of those. My westermen will follow when your archers are short of arrows and your knights so weary they can hardly lift their blades. When the castle falls, all those inside will be put to the sword. Your herds will be butchered, your godswood will be felled, your keeps and towers will burn. I'll pull your walls down, and divert the Tumblestone over the ruins. By the time I'm done no man will ever know that a castle once stood here." Jaime got to his feet. "Your wife may whelp before that. You'll want your child, I expect. I'll send him to you when he's born. With a trebuchet."

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'Her name is Brienne' is still one of my favourite moments from the series. Not particularly witty, I just love it!

'And moonboy for all I know..."

'A horse'

'I'm the Queen of whores."
"No, my sister holds that title too"

The man is just a fountain of sassy gold.
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"So many vows...they make you swear and swear. Defend the king. Obey the king. Keep his secrets. Do his bidding. Your life for his. But obey your father. Love your sister. Protect the innocent. Defend the weak. Respect the gods. Obey the laws. It's too much. No matter what you do, you're forsaking one vow or the other."
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"So many vows...they make you swear and swear. Defend the king. Obey the king. Keep his secrets. Do his bidding. Your life for his. But obey your father. Love your sister. Protect the innocent. Defend the weak. Respect the gods. Obey the laws. It's too much. No matter what you do, you're forsaking one vow or the other."
 
 
“It was that white cloak that soiled me, not the other way around.” 
 
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When Jaime is questioning the grizzled old gaoler Rennifer Longwaters, who goes on a long boring ramble about how his family are descended from a Targaryen bastard. Jaime is getting impatient:

"...So I have a little dragon in me".

"Yes, I almost mistook you for Aegon the Conqueror", Jaime had answered.
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I agree with most of those mentioned already. Unlike Tyrion, Jaime tends to keep his best "gems" for himself rather than to say them out loud. 

 

Since it hasn't been mentioned yet and since I love it:

 

“Lady? I’m no lady. I’m the queen.”

“My sister will be surprised to hear that.”
“Lord Ryman crowned me his very self.” She gave a shake of her ample hips. “I’m the queen o’ whores.”
No, Jaime thought, my sweet sister holds that title too.”
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