Can one REALLY be celibate?

[Ordos]

This sounds like some kind of joke but I'm honestly curious. 

 

The short answer is of course yes. If you are castrated, elderly or asexual. What I want to know is can one be celibate even with perfectly good functioning reproductive tools and a strong desire for intercourse. 

 

What does it mean to be celibate anyway? Refraining from actual intercourse is easy. But does being celibate mean no masturbation? What about wet dreams? We men get those if we don't masturbate in a long time. Does having a wet dream mean you break your oath of celibacy? If not, I can imagine Catholic priests (who practice what they preach) go to bed with adult diapers! But if so, celibacy (for men anyway) does not exist!

 

I cannot speak for women so I'll ask you: is having no sex life easier for you than it is for men? I imagine it is because women are naturally more reluctant to engage in intercourse than men.

 

I'm trying to make this post as inoffensive as possible considering the subject.

[TerraPrime]

The short answer is of course yes. If you are castrated, elderly or asexual. What I want to know is can one be celibate even with perfectly good functioning reproductive tools and a strong desire for intercourse.

 

You're apparently ignorant of the long traditions in many religions, like Buddhism, Catholicism, where the people abstain from sex? 

 

 

We men get those if we don't masturbate in a long time.

 

Please educate yourself on human physiology. Nocturnal emission is not a given outcome as a result of celibacy. Some men do, and some men don't. The intensity and volume of discharge also do not increase with increasing duration of celibacy, hence, no need for diapers. 

 

 

I cannot speak for women so I'll ask you: is having no sex life easier for you than it is for men?

 

So you can't speak for women because you're not a woman, which is true enough and it's good you recognize that, but you want women to speak about men's experience? 

 

 

I imagine it is because women are naturally more reluctant to engage in intercourse than men.

 

What the suffering fuck is this bullshit sexism? 

[Ordos]

 

 

What the suffering fuck is this bullshit sexism? 

 

Simple social experiment: A man asks several women as a straightforward proposition 'would you like to have sex with me?' The answer he gets is a near unanimous no. A woman asks several men the same proposition and an overwhelming majority say yes. 

[Dr. Pepper]

Is this bullshit actually serious?  Wow.

 

Just in case.  

 

Strictly speaking, asexual means a lack of sexual attraction.  It doesn't address an individual's libido.  Some asexual people may be sex averse.  Many asexual people have an active libido.  This is true of sexual people as well.  Some sexual people may have a very low or non existent sex drive while others experience the opposite.  When you aren't looking through an ultra sexist lens, you'll discover that these facts can be true for both men and women.  

 

To answer the question in the title, yes one can really be celibate.  Duh.  People do it all the time.  

[TerraPrime]

 

Simple social experiment: A man asks several women as a straightforward proposition 'would you like to have sex with me?' The answer he gets is a near unanimous no. A woman asks several men the same proposition and an overwhelming majority say yes. 

 

Ae you unable to separate the conecpt of promiscuity from the concept of sexual desire? 

[Ordos]

 

Ae you unable to separate the conecpt of promiscuity from the concept of sexual desire? 

 

No. I saw that experiment on a documentary once. They say the reason for the result is women must carry the baby for nine months and hence are more careful in selection. While men can spread their seed to as many women without such consequence. Yes, yes parental responsibility but not physical consequence for men (STDs sure but when do other animals worry about that)

[Nas!]

Everyone knows that dreams are direct and literal transmissions from God Himself.  Therefore, wet dreams must be God's way of rewarding the celibate for their tireless work in His service.

 

Also, He is telling us that we should all go to school in our underwear.

[TerraPrime]

 

No. I saw that experiment on a documentary once. They say the reason for the result is women must carry the baby for nine months and hence are more careful in selection. While men can spread their seed to as many women without such consequence. Yes, yes parental responsibility but not physical consequence for men (STDs sure but when do other animals worry about that)

 

That's called evolutionary psychology, and that particular variant is the worst of the populist type. Human's mating rituals have long since escaped the constraints of biological reality that impacts on animals, because we have things like culture, laws, and free will. 

 

But taking it at face value, we know it is not true. Either the prorgram was horrendously wrong, or you're remembering it incorrectly. If we look at primates, which are the closest relatives to humans, the dominant male do NOT breed every single female in the social group. He picks a few, and he breeds with them. at the same time, the females in the group often will breed with other males behind the dominant male's back. So the whole narrative is flawed from the start. 

[Yagathai]

I have learned a lot from the breeding strategies of the omega baboon.

[ElizabethB.]

Ae you unable to separate the conecpt of double standards from the concept of sexual desire?

Fixed it!

[Magnar of Skagos]

The real question is; is celibacy healthy?

[Littlefingers In The Air]

Is the forum trying to assault my IQ today?

[The Killer Snark]

The question shouldn't be, 'Can you be celibate?', because many people are, and are not so through choice. They just can't get sex. The question should be, 'Can people who have a naturally functioning sex drive be celibate voluntarily with no adverse psychological effects?', because I don't believe they can. It goes against normal human desires and dispositions. A number of people might be voluntarily celibate on religious grounds but will always have trouble with the arrangement if they are sexually typical of most people. But of course they can maintain their abstinence, though they won't enjoy it, if their conviction is strong enough.

[.H.]

You really don't need psychology to answer this question. Can you be celibate for an hour? If yes, then you can be celibate for as long as you really want to be.

You can do, or not do, anything (within reason) you really want to. The question is, do you really want to be celibate?

The problem isn't some evolutionary defect, or constitutional weakness, or any other nonsense. The problem is commitment and fixity of purpose. If you have it, you could stop doing anything.

I was celibate for 10 years following the ending of my first relationship. It can be done, it has been done, it will be done again (by someone).

[Larry of the Lawn]

My uncle was a monk and he said they went back and looked up the monk rules in a first edition copy, and it was a typo. It originally said 'celebrate'.

[Tears of Lys]

Everyone knows that dreams are direct and literal transmissions from God Himself.  Therefore, wet dreams must be God's way of rewarding the celibate for their tireless work in His service.
 
Also, He is telling us that we should all go to school in our underwear.

"Like" :thumbsup:


The OP is obviously a very young person who assumes everyone is like himself and has absorbed a lot of false cultural "truisms." Be educational, not unkind.

[Littlefingers In The Air]

We have too many stories of women whose religion tied their virginity into their identity, leaving the woman depressed when she finally marries and loses it, to think that celibacy could ever be psychologically healthy for most people.

[sologdin]

trying to make this post as inoffensive as possible considering the subject.

we should attempt to make these things as offensive as possible, as the last thing we need is yet more anodyne formulary on banal subject matter.

[TerraPrime]

The OP is obviously a very young person 

 

No. He's a middle-aged man in Indonesia. With access to the internet. 

[Ordos]

 

Strictly speaking, asexual means a lack of sexual attraction.  It doesn't address an individual's libido.  Some asexual people may be sex averse.  Many asexual people have an active libido.  This is true of sexual people as well.  Some sexual people may have a very low or non existent sex drive while others experience the opposite.  When you aren't looking through an ultra sexist lens, you'll discover that these facts can be true for both men and women.  

 

 

What I get from this is you are saying that some people have more of something in them or less of it than others. Which means some people can be celibate while others cannot. I'm not even saying mentally but physically.