Mental Health Support Group

[Malik Ambar]

 Because People got the help and support they needed here, and this needs to be continued

[Arch-MaesterPhilip]

I've just been informed  that I've been scheduled for a follow up to my psych evaluation. I hope this is just a standard part of the screening process. 

[Wise Fool]

It doesn't take a psychiatrist to observe that all is not well in Wise Fool's mental sphere. The holidays are perhaps getting to him.

[The guy from the Vale]

Thank you, Malik.

That's all I got to say for now.

[Spring Bass]

I know this might jinx it, but I've been mostly feeling pretty good in the intrusive thoughts front for the past week or so. And they disappeared altogether temporarily when I hurt my ankle - principle of distraction at work, I guess.

[cdawnb]

How do you know the difference between losing hope and being realistic about a situation? 

I seem to have a hard time with this. I don't know if I'm being negative and depressed or if I should keep trying to hope someday it might change.

[Pro Augustis]

How do you know the difference between losing hope and being realistic about a situation? 

I seem to have a hard time with this. I don't know if I'm being negative and depressed or if I should keep trying to hope someday it might change.

I don't know if this is helpful, but my experience is that the different eventually stopped mattering. I am still not convinced at all that I was "wrong" or "unrealistic" in my evaluation of my situation a few years ago, but it eventually became clear that my behavior was only making it worse and that, whether I was logically right or wrong to act the way that I did, I needed to change if I wanted to ever not be miserable. 

[Spring Bass]

I jinxed it, and that's the problem. Whenever I start thinking about how well I'm doing, then I start having the intrusive thoughts again because I thought of the fear/anxiety. I just have to try and let it go, not dwell on it, and keep doing that for a very long time.

[Theda Baratheon]

i'm just so bored, i think that's like 50 percent of depression just being bored. i'm always in high spirits when i have plans and things to do. i say 50 percent though because sometimes i still find myself in a mood even when i'm with friends and in work and i just don't want anyone to look at me 

[HexMachina]

I'd like to ask a serious question that I am weary of asking because it sounds so absurd, but I feel somewhat comfortable with you all so here goes.

Does anyone ever feel 'frightened' of letting go of their mental health issues?(be they anxiety, depression, etc). Obviously I don't mean to imply I actually enjoy the horrible states those issues leave me in, but at times I feel like I am almost reluctant to let go. I've battled depression and an ED for...well, "officially"(post-diagnosis) for coming up 7 years, but if we are talking when my problems first started, it's closer to 10/11 years...more or less half my life. That is a long time, and it affected me throughout some of the most important stages of my life, as far as bodily changes ad development go. The idea of living a life without this is practically foreign to me. I can barely recall NOT living with these problems. 

Yet, now I find myself in that rarest lof places where things actually look hopeful. I feel comfortable and sociable with my new flatmates. I would happily call them friends. We go out for meals, to the cinemas, talk for hours on end in the kitchen about big bog all. We share common interests and the can read me like an open book, always know how to cheer me up. We are all moving in together again next year. It's all so wonderful. And for the first time in a long while, I feel I could accurately describe myself as "happy" for days/weeks at a time.

Yet, a part of my feels frightened. The idea of living life without the constant crippling sensations that depression and my ED inspire is very appealing, but also strange. It's different. And a small part of me fears that change.

Sorry for the lengthy and probably rambling post. I'm not very eloquent, but I hope I conveyed my point, and would appreciate any input you all may have.

[deleted01]

I'd like to ask a serious question that I am weary of asking because it sounds so absurd, but I feel somewhat comfortable with you all so here goes.

Does anyone ever feel 'frightened' of letting go of their mental health issues?(be they anxiety, depression, etc). Obviously I don't mean to imply I actually enjoy the horrible states those issues leave me in, but at times I feel like I am almost reluctant to let go. I've battled depression and an ED for...well, "officially"(post-diagnosis) for coming up 7 years, but if we are talking when my problems first started, it's closer to 10/11 years...more or less half my life. That is a long time, and it affected me throughout some of the most important stages of my life, as far as bodily changes ad development go. The idea of living a life without this is practically foreign to me. I can barely recall NOT living with these problems. 

Yet, now I find myself in that rarest lof places where things actually look hopeful. I feel comfortable and sociable with my new flatmates. I would happily call them friends. We go out for meals, to the cinemas, talk for hours on end in the kitchen about big bog all. We share common interests and the can read me like an open book, always know how to cheer me up. We are all moving in together again next year. It's all so wonderful. And for the first time in a long while, I feel I could accurately describe myself as "happy" for days/weeks at a time.

Yet, a part of my feels frightened. The idea of living life without the constant crippling sensations that depression and my ED inspire is very appealing, but also strange. It's different. And a small part of me fears that change.

Sorry for the lengthy and probably rambling post. I'm not very eloquent, but I hope I conveyed my point, and would appreciate any input you all may have.

I think I understand what you mean. It's like the depression/anxiety/insert mental health problem here is a part of you. It informs at least a part of your actions, reactions, decisions. Without it, what would you do in X/Y/Z scenario? Who would you be?

I very much get it in terms of my past. When I moved away to university, I spent a lot of time letting go of who I was, of who I had been made into, and discovering what I would do, who I really was. It's hard. You have to be prepared to forgive yourself for a lot. For example, I was fairly aggressive, because that was how I had learned to be. It took some time to discover when anger was an appropriate reaction, when my reactions were still being informed by my past, and when I was, quite frankly, just being a dick. 

I actually had this conversation with my SO yesterday. Xmas is coming, and it never brings happy memories or emotions with it. My concern now is that, since being back home for so long, I'm not going to be able to rediscover the real me, the one I found and shaped while I was at university. The "Plymouth Me", as I say. How much of my depression is attached to me, and how much is forced upon me by my environment and the people around me? Can I let go of it all? And how will I feel when I do?

I don't have all the answers - I don't fully know the answers to my own questions - but I just wanted to say that I get it, and I think you should be prepared for any eventuality. So you're happy and it feels weird? It's not surprising, and you shouldn't feel guilty. 

 

[cdawnb]

Dracarya pretty much nailed it on the head. Change is scary. When you identify with something so strongly, letting that go can be difficult.

I have learned a lot of work arounds to simply function on a day to day basis. So if someone suddenly took away the reason for those work arounds, what do I do then? Who am I? What do I do now?

You aren't strange or weird, I think that is a normal process someone with a mental health issue may face.

[Joe Pesci]

How do you know the difference between losing hope and being realistic about a situation? 

I seem to have a hard time with this. I don't know if I'm being negative and depressed or if I should keep trying to hope someday it might change.

Being realistic about a situation (at least in my experiences) meant that while I could see what the worst case scenario would be, I sure as hell never plan on letting it consume my thoughts. In my recovery from a work accident that almost cost me a leg, I've stayed positive and set goals that were reachable, and continued to set new ones as I progress. Laying in a hospital bed for 6 weeks and relearning to walk is a humbling experience that really changed how I think about things. There's a good chance that I won't ever run again or maybe even jog normally, and I can totally accept that because I look at the alternatives of what could be and know how lucky I am. Never give up the idea that things can change, because being positive even about the worst of things can have an impact. As for losing hope, my answer would be simple, don't fucking do it. Ever.

[HexMachina]

Thank you for the responses, and not thinking me strange, or a bad person for my position and fear. I'll think on what you have said and try to move forward with an open mind.

Drac, Christmas, and more specifically my birthday a couple of weeks before Christmas, are tough for me too. My birthday several years ago marked the beginning of a nightmarish time of hospital admissions after I was rushed in to hospital late one night, the night before/morning of my birthday in critical condition, and not released until Christmas Eve. It was an awful experience, and every year without fail has left me soured and Ill-tempered on my birthday. Since then, I do my best not to acknowledge it - no cards, no well wishes, no party, nothing. But, this year, in th spirit of "moving forward" and my newfound friends, I am making birthday plans. Nothing big, and it will be a shared celebration, as it also marks end of semester and my friends birthday is a few days before...but it's a start. My hope is, I get over the negative memories. Don't forget them, because awful as they are, they are an important part of my life. But...make new memories. Be able to look at this day and be happy, have fond memories, rather than mope about it forever. Fingers crossed this goes to plan.

[Joe Pesci]

Thank you for the responses, and not thinking me strange, or a bad person for my position and fear. I'll think on what you have said and try to move forward with an open mind.

Drac, Christmas, and more specifically my birthday a couple of weeks before Christmas, are tough for me too. My birthday several years ago marked the beginning of a nightmarish time of hospital admissions after I was rushed in to hospital late one night, the night before/morning of my birthday in critical condition, and not released until Christmas Eve. It was an awful experience, and every year without fail has left me soured and Ill-tempered on my birthday. Since then, I do my best not to acknowledge it - no cards, no well wishes, no party, nothing. But, this year, in th spirit of "moving forward" and my newfound friends, I am making birthday plans. Nothing big, and it will be a shared celebration, as it also marks end of semester and my friends birthday is a few days before...but it's a start. My hope is, I get over the negative memories. Don't forget them, because awful as they are, they are an important part of my life. But...make new memories. Be able to look at this day and be happy, have fond memories, rather than mope about it forever. Fingers crossed this goes to plan.

I got released two days before my birthday and was in bad shape, but when it came back around this year I used it as point to look at how far I had come and celebrated it as a jumping off point to being in a better physical/mental state than I was the year before. Being released was a difficult adjustment for me after such a long stay and really had me screwed up for a bit despite being pretty positive during my hospital stay in spite of everything. Just try your best to move forward at your own pace and stay positive. I may come across as beating the positive drum to death, but if you can work at it, it is amazing what it will do for you.

[cdawnb]

i'm just so bored, i think that's like 50 percent of depression just being bored. i'm always in high spirits when i have plans and things to do. i say 50 percent though because sometimes i still find myself in a mood even when i'm with friends and in work and i just don't want anyone to look at me 

Boredom will contribute to my depression or feelings of inadequacy. 

Going out and doing something won't cure the feeling per say, but it will ease it.

Heck, even reading a book on a bad day will help.

[deleted01]

Thank you for the responses, and not thinking me strange, or a bad person for my position and fear. I'll think on what you have said and try to move forward with an open mind.

Drac, Christmas, and more specifically my birthday a couple of weeks before Christmas, are tough for me too. My birthday several years ago marked the beginning of a nightmarish time of hospital admissions after I was rushed in to hospital late one night, the night before/morning of my birthday in critical condition, and not released until Christmas Eve. It was an awful experience, and every year without fail has left me soured and Ill-tempered on my birthday. Since then, I do my best not to acknowledge it - no cards, no well wishes, no party, nothing. But, this year, in th spirit of "moving forward" and my newfound friends, I am making birthday plans. Nothing big, and it will be a shared celebration, as it also marks end of semester and my friends birthday is a few days before...but it's a start. My hope is, I get over the negative memories. Don't forget them, because awful as they are, they are an important part of my life. But...make new memories. Be able to look at this day and be happy, have fond memories, rather than mope about it forever. Fingers crossed this goes to plan.

You're a December baby too? Mine's on the 18th, and it has always been shite. Forget the usual "here's a joint present!" crap you can somewhat laugh off, I'd regularly get something small, like a CD or hair stuff, for both occasions. And no, it isn't just about presents, but it further showed how I was always treated differently by my family. I got a stereo one year, which I loved. It was mirrored, and pretty high-tech for the time. I often listened to late-night radio shows, you know the old advice shows they had on Radio 1? Anyway, a few years later, my dad took it from me, saying that I wasn't using it any more, and gave it to my sister (who, incidentally, had drawn over the speakers and flicked nail varnish all over it not long beforehand). Seems small, but I never felt like anything was truly mine. And that's how I still feel about my birthday. And Christmas is no better. A time of pressure, got to get the right things, got to smile the right way and be enthusiastic enough, but not too much. But no matter how I acted, it was always wrong. I'm a fairly subdued person anyway, but now I find very little excitement in me at the prospect of my birthday and Xmas. I try - I enjoy Christmas songs, I like giving cards, and I love decorating the tree - but there's always an undercurrent of sadness, of wondering what I'll do wrong for it all to blow up in my face. In my family, there's always something. That's our motto. This year, we're moving on my birthday, so my SO and I are celebrating on the Saturday before. But I can't say I'm too bothered. Getting away from this place is the best birthday present ever. 

I'm sorry you had to go through what you did. But I'm glad you feel able to move forward and celebrate this year. One step at a time. I can't tell you what to do, but I will say that I hope to be in a position once again where I can accept my past, accept the effect it has on me, forgive myself for how it affects me, and use it, for the most part, in a positive way. I hope you can too.

[Syrio.Forel]

I wasn't sure if this was real or not, but I read everyone's posts and I have to say there is absolute nothing wrong with any of you and how you are feeling. We all have ups and downs, doubt and anxiety, bad days and worse. Never let that make you feel like you're not worth your weight. I do not personally know you, but I have no doubt you're awesome. I know it sounds corny, but sometimes you have to remind yourself that you are. Don't be embarrassed to look in the mirror and tell yourself that. Do it alone so ppl don't think you're weird, which we all are. I wish you all the best and will keep checking this board for updates.

[Syrio.Forel]

P.s. I'm sad too... lol but my woes and struggles can wait...

[zeppelincheetah]

Reading ASOIAF every fall/winter really helps with seasonal depression. I am currently reading ACOK.