Do you consider these characters villains?

[Petyr's Little Finger]

Jaime Lannister
Tywin Lannister
Tyrion Lannister
Cersei Lannister
Petyr Baelish
Varys 
Theon Greyjoy
Victarion Greyjoy
Aeron Greyjoy 
Bran Stark
Arya Stark
Stannis Baratheon
Daenerys Targaryan


 

Bold are the villains.

 

Jaime Lannister- No, he is on a redemption arc and I think he is too complex as a person to designate as a villain or a hero
Tywin Lannister- Harsh,competent but capable of cruelty and ready to kill thousands for his family name, villain
Tyrion Lannister- Does some very questionable things but capable of humanity and does have empathy so more of a hero.
Cersei Lannister- Selfish, greedy and nasty, definite villain
Petyr Baelish- I love him but he starts a devastating war to further his ambitions and only cares about himself, a definite villain
Varys-  Does some cruel things like cutting the tongues out of his little birds and is willing to create strife for Young Griff, still until I know why he supports YG, I can't judge him
Theon Greyjoy- Child murderer but he is redeeming himself, a reforming villain
Victarion Greyjoy- Rapist and murderer but he has some kind of moral code, more villainous than heroic but still not an outright villain
Aeron Greyjoy- A foolish lunatic but not a villain
Bran Stark- Eats human flesh and mind rapes Hodor for now hes more of a villain
Arya Stark- Kills people but still not evil deep down, grey character 
Stannis Baratheon- Burns people alive but he does seem to care for the realm and he is just albeit harsh- More heroic
Daenerys Targaryan- Does fucked up things like kill the 163 Masters but she doesn't have evil in her and like Stannis she does seem to care for her people, incompetent yes and foolish but not a villain.
 

[Lord Lannister]

Jaime Lannister: I consider him more of a fallen hero. A man in love with the romanticism of being a knight, a great warrior and a lover to find his whole life has been a lie and just stopped trying. It was only after losing his sword hand that he began a soul search and trying to improve upon himself. Rescuing Brienne from the bear was the most... knightly... thing in the story, I think.
Tywin Lannister: Definitely a villain. The villain of the first three novels. They wouldn't be the same without him. The cold calculating lord that ruthlessly presses his advantage on every level be it burning his enemies out, on the battlefield, or securing alliances by any means necessary. He "won" on every level except with his children, which ended up being his downfall... and it remains to be see if they're the downfall of his House and legacy.
Tyrion Lannister: More of an anti-hero. He has a conscience and is usually quite aware when he's crossing into morally gray territory. Yet he usually tries to restrain the excesses of his family when possible. Really at his core he just wants to be loved and that's his greatest strength and weakness simultaneously. He was loyal to his family, despite it all, until he literally had no other choice but to start lashing back.
Cersei Lannister: She fancies herself the "female Tywin Lannister." In reality she's an ill mannered kitten to Tywin's lion. She has no problem crossing any moral line to get what she wants, and unlike Tywin her ambitions are more petty and personal and her manipulations are wielded like a blunt hammer. So definitely a villain.
Petyr Baelish: The man who by his own admission wants everything and will do anything to get it. Without a doubt a villain.
Varys: The thing with Varys is, you just don't know what his real game is. He's the spider. He manipulates things quietly behind the scenes even better than Littlefinger. Has he been a Targaryen sympathizer this whole time? Really wants what is best for the realm? Or has his role in the Game been to move the pieces to his own plan and personal ambition? We don't know.
Theon Greyjoy: He's definitely done villainous things. But I can't label him as a villain. Even before the "Reek" transformation he was a person divided as the boy who was scorned from the Iron Islands and the outsider among the Starks. He always wanted to be included and all his terrible actions were towards that end. He literally put himself into a situation where in his mind he had to do terrible things even if he hated doing them because he had no other choice if he was going to be accepted.
Victarion Greyjoy: Without a doubt a villain. Loots, rapes, pillages. Not even an interesting villain, he's just a tool in other men's arsenals, be it Balon or Euron's.
Aeron Greyjoy: He's more interesting than Victarion, a true believer of the Drowned God and the old way. He has no problem looting and raping and even considers it his religious and holy duty. Definitely a villain, though I do wonder what happened to him as he seems to be acting against Euron.
Bran Stark: Is this really a question? Of course Bran isn't a villain and he's a good kid. Melisandre's little "vision" of him being the "champion" of the Great Other should be taken with a grain of salt the size of the Red Comet. I will say he's in a slippery slope morally given how often he wargs into Hodor.
Arya Stark: I'd have to say yes. We get to see Arya's dance with death throughout the first novels and how she slowly slips. She had a solid set of morals and values, but she is losing her respect for life and certainly has no inhibitions taking it.
Stannis Baratheon: Another excellently complicated character with both admirable and tragic traits. You could literally cast him as the hero or the villain in any story and not need to change his personality or character traits at all. At his core he's a fair and decent man, but he's willing to do whatever it takes to win. I cant consider him a villain, but I can see why others would. He's definitely not a saint, even if he is the best of the five original kings(dubious distinction).
Daenerys Targaryen: I don't know with Dany. She just seems so wishy washy on everything. Free the slaves, do as I say, torture is bad, now I'm going to torture you for being bad. She's definitely one of the most self made characters in the novels and with the exception of Mereen her story has been interesting. I just can't bring myself to like her though and definitely see the potential for her to be her father's daughter. He was said to be quite charming between his fits of madness too.

[Mythrel]

Jaime Lannister-grey
Tywin Lannister-grey
Tyrion Lannister-grey
Cersei Lannister-grey
Petyr Baelish-grey
Varys-grey
Theon Greyjoy-grey
Victarion Greyjoy-grey
Aeron Greyjoy-grey
Bran Stark-grey
Arya Stark-grey
Stannis Baratheon-grey
Daenerys Targaryan-grey

[Sydney Mae]

There are a lot of Grey characters in asoiaf, it's one of the things I love about it. and I think it'd be interesting to know how many people consider certain (or all) of these grey characters villains. i've made a list with characters that I've seen debates about on the subject. I'm leaving out obvious characters (goodguys and badguys) but if you have a controversial opinion on one feel free to mention them and explain why. i'm also sure that i've missed some one this list so feel free to add anyone you think fits. So here we go, do you consider these characters villains and why? also, it would be handy to add your personal definition of what a villain is, because I've noticed that it depends from person to person, which values you hold highest and so on.

Jaime Lannister
Tywin Lannister
Tyrion Lannister
Cersei Lannister
Petyr Baelish
Varys
Theon Greyjoy
Victarion Greyjoy
Aeron Greyjoy
Bran Stark
Arya Stark
Stannis Baratheon
Daenerys Targaryan

note: please refrain from personal attacks, I know this is a subject that could get out of hand as people tend to take it personal when others say negativve things about their favs (myself included) but let's try to have a civil discussion about this.
 

I don't like your list.  You excluded Jon Snow, Roose Bolton, Mellisandre, Hizdahr, Mirri Maz Duur, and Robb Stark.  Here's my list

Villain(s):

1. Jaime - kingslayer and back-stabber, child crippler
2. Petyr - just an all out bad guy
3. Roose
4. Ramsay
5. Walder
6. Gregor
7. Brandon Stark - triggered the rebellion, plotting to increase his house power beyond his king, threatened to kill his prince.
8. Mance Rayder
9. Lyanna Stark - irresponsible, selfish, self-centered
10. Rhaegar Targaryen - irresponsible, selfish
11. Mirri Maz Duur
12. Hizdahr
13. Victarion
14. Euron
15. Bronn

The Greys

1. Theon
2. Cersei
3. Khal Drogo
4. Tyrion
5. Tywin - brutal, but he's a leader and must thus be judged somewhat differently as he has to look out for the people, red wedding ended a bloody war.  Technically should be a villain but he did a lot of good and put the needs of the realm ahead of guest-rights to stop a bloody war.
6. Robb Stark
7. Jon Snow - nice guy but he did something bad when he attacked the Boltons, a big sin for a crow.
8. Arya Stark
9. Renly Baratheon - attempted to steal his brother's rights
10. Bowen Marsh - only did what he did to protect the seven kingdoms from Jon's lunacy, but assassination is still treason, treason for treason.
11. Hoster Tully
12. Lyssa Tully
13. Varys
14. Jorah
15. Wayman Manderly

The Good Guys and Gals

1. Daenerys Targaryen
2. Davos Seaworth
3. Missandei
4. Stannis - sticks to his rules, carries out his justice, killed his brother but saved a lot of people in the process.  
5. Ser Barristan
6. Brienne
7. Catelyn
8. Sansa - dumb isn't a sin
9. Belwas - simpleton but loyal to Dany
10. Ned Stark
11. Willem Darry - gave up everything to protect his Prince and Princess, a good, loyal man.
12. Jeor Mormont
13. Sam Tarly
14. Edd Tollett
15. Gerold Hightower

[Maid So Fair]

 

I don't like your list.  You excluded Jon Snow, Roose Bolton, Mellisandre, Hizdahr, Mirri Maz Duur, and Robb Stark.  Here's my list

1. Tywin - brutal, but he's a leader and must thus be judged somewhat differently as he has to look out for the people, red wedding ended a bloody war.  Technically should be a villain but he did a lot of good and put the needs of the realm ahead of guest-rights to stop a bloody war
2. Stannis - sticks to4 his rules, carries out his justice, killed his brother but saved a lot of people in the process

1.  Tywin - I can't believe people are still arguing about this. Yes, Tywin stopped the war - the war he started and in the most bloody way possible. And its not even over - there is still plenty of fighting in the North. Why is it somehow mode moral to slaughter thousands (not a dozen) men at a seeing than at a battlefield. All he saved is his pride. And its not like the RedbWedding is even the worst thing he's done - this is a guy who drowned hundreds of people because their Lady  disrespected him, put a city that opened gates to him to the sack. He cared nothing for the needs of the realm or the people of River lands when he sicked Gregor Clegane and the Bloody Mummers on them. He had a girl who his son married gang raped. There's absolutely nothing gray about Tywin -its all black. Also, how does Tywin get the excuse of being a leader and having to look out for his people and not Mance, who is tryi g to save his people from. Zombie Apocalypse? 

Stannis- which people did murdering Renly save? 

[INCBlackbird]

 

Kyra wasn't exactly willing.

There's also the imbalance of power - he's a noble and a future Lord and the women largely commoners. If a teacher sleeps with a willing student or a boss with a subordinate, are they taking advantage? Very grey area. I don't think it's necessarily him taking advantage, but saying there's nothing wrong with Theons treatment of women is going way too far. He acts like a dick to every women we see him with.

Kyra was very willing, not counting that one incident in Theon V.

There's a difference between age and there being a difference in class, if we saw Theon coerce a woman by saying "I'm a high lord and i'll give you this and that." or worse "if you don't sleep with me i'll do this and that to you" than I would agree. but we don't see him do that, in fact he's quite proud of not having to do that. he derives confidense from women willingly wanting to sleep with him. These women are old enough to make their own choices so I see no taking advantage here.

I also didn't say that there was nothing wrong with his treatment of women, he's often a dick to them (then again he's also a dick to people of lower class to him, he puts people down to make himself feel better) but I don't think you can make an argument of him taking advantage of women.

[INCBlackbird]

 

Arya, Bran, Dany - hell no. Being occasionally misguided doesn't make iu a villain. These are the heroes. And I mean, Bran of all people? He hasn't done anything villainous at all. Dany makes mistakes but tries her best an she genuinely cares about her subjects unlike many other rulers in the story. Arya is a little girl in a terrible situation who hasn't yet lost her empathy or sense of justice. 

ok but why are Arya, Bran and Dany "occsionally misguided" and not Jaime, Theon, Tyrion... When is someone "occasionally misguided" and when is someone evil according to you? Because I would agree with you that being misguided doesn't make you a villain. I don't consider any of thse characters villains nor do I think they ever were villains. With Jaime because he was misguided when pushing Bran out the window, which was his worst act by far. it's not like he enjoyed it. With Theon because he was a complete emotional mess due to things out of his control and therefor worked himself into a terrible situation convinced he had to do terrible things to get out of it. He was the very definition of misguided. And Tyrion because overal he's not so bad, just extremely bitter and I can understand why, which doesn't excuse him but he's not evil. (btw, I know you didn't say these characters are villains, I'm just making a point and clarifying with I mean with these three because they're the clearest examples to me)

[sweetsunray]

This is a good point. I mean...yeah, you put psychopaths who harm others away so that they won't continue doing that, but can you hold them responsible, if whatever disease is affecting their brain takes away their free will?

I guess to be a villain, you need free will. I'm not sure if Cersei does, which would make her perfect for an institution, but possibly not for villain status. LF is trickier. I think he did love Cat, in a way that (imo) Cersei couldn't love Jaime or her kids. That makes him more culpable.

Psychopaths have free will. They are fully capable to do "good deeds" if it serves their purpose (appearance, mask). They know right from wrong. They either just don't care, or like doing wrong.

[Winter's Cold]

ok but why are Arya, Bran and Dany "occsionally misguided" and not Jaime, Theon, Tyrion... When is someone "occasionally misguided" and when is someone evil according to you? Because I would agree with you that being misguided doesn't make you a villain. I don't consider any of thse characters villains nor do I think they ever were villains. With Jaime because he was misguided when pushing Bran out the window, which was his worst act by far. it's not like he enjoyed it. With Theon because he was a complete emotional mess due to things out of his control and therefor worked himself into a terrible situation convinced he had to do terrible things to get out of it. He was the very definition of misguided. And Tyrion because overal he's not so bad, just extremely bitter and I can understand why, which doesn't excuse him but he's not evil. (btw, I know you didn't say these characters are villains, I'm just making a point and clarifying with I mean with these three because they're the clearest examples to me)

What Theon did to those miller boys, children who were no threat to him, is inexcusable. That's what cemented him as a dark grey character. That was one of his character defining moments.

[Maxxine]

Tywin, Petyr, & to a certain extent Cersei are villains. No gray about them even though I'll withhold judgement on Cersei bc idk if/how much she will change after her walk of shame. People like Jaime & Theon were villains but they're on the path to redemption. We don't know enough about Varys, Victarion, & Aeron and their intentions to put them in a certain box. I think Varys' ultimate goal is one of the biggest & most interesting mysteries of the series. The rest of the characters are what make this book so great. There so grey. The do some good things & do some bad things. Sometimes they do good things the wrong way. You can't put them in either box. Based on their actions you can say whether you like them or not. For instance, I can't stand Stannis but I wouldn't characterize him as a hero or villain. Hes just a regular person who makes good & bad decisions.

[INCBlackbird]

What Theon did to those miller boys, children who were no threat to him, is inexcusable. That's what cemented him as a dark grey character. That was one of his character defining moments.

Again I have to ask why is it to you inexcusable? And Arya killing Dareon (for example) isn't inexcusable? They both had their reasons but both were still terrible things to do. What is the difference, is it because in Theon's case they were children?

Personally, I try not to judge too harshly, the world they live in is cruel and many characters have to do cruel things to survive (that includes Theon) not to mention that a society like theirs can cause all kinds of emotional problems. I don't consider acts inexcuseable unless they were completely selfless and the person commiting them felt no regret whatsoever.

[Winter's Cold]

Again I have to ask why is it to you inexcusable? And Arya killing Dareon (for example) isn't inexcusable? They both had their reasons but both were still terrible things to do. What is the difference, is it because in Theon's case they were children?
Personally, I try not to judge too harshly, the world they live in is cruel and many characters have to do cruel things to survive (that includes Theon) not to mention that a society like theirs can cause all kinds of emotional problems. I don't consider acts inexcuseable unless they were completely selfless and the person commiting them felt no regret whatsoever.

Killing a Night's Watch deserter is not child murder. They're not comparable. Dareon was no innocent. He knew that the penalty for deserting the Night's Watch was death. The children that Theon murdered were not guilty of any crime. Inexcusable means an unjustifiable act. Do you believe that Theon's murder of those children was justifiable?

[khal drogon]

It is too hard to draw a line between a grey character and a villain in this story. In my list the villains are people who lack or show very little empathy. Tywin, Petyr, Cersei, Ramsay, Roose comes to my mind. Stannis, Jaime and Theon comes close to villains but they are too complex for me to consider them as one. And I think it all depends on perspective.

[kimim]

Killing a Night's Watch deserter is not child murder. They're not comparable. Dareon was no innocent. He knew that the penalty for deserting the Night's Watch was death. The children that Theon murdered were not guilty of any crime. Inexcusable means an unjustifiable act. Do you believe that Theon's murder of those children was justifiable?

Sorry to barge into your discussion, but child murder seems to be a special case for GRRM, in that it's treated as THE bad thing to do, so no excuses can be made for it. However, people can redeem themselves even from that. Jaime cripples Bran, suffers, enters redemptive arc. Ditto for Theon and Sandor.

I think you have to accept that what these characters do is evil, for suffering and redemptive arc to have any meaning. I also think you have to accept the possibility that they may be redeemed and return from what they did for that arc to have meaning.

Without either, there's no point to the arc.

[Batbob45]

Jaime Lannister-he almost redeem
Tywin Lannister-he is of the biggest  evildoer
Tyrion Lannister-he did abused that slave
Cersei Lannister-evildoer
Petyr Baelish-he is an evildoer for his treatment of Jeyne Poole alone.
Varys-less of an evildoer than LF.
Theon Greyjoy-he is not  one now
Victarion Greyjoy-he is a product of his upbringing and is a little less evil than Euron.
Aeron Greyjoy-not evil, just a little out there
Bran Stark-he not evil
Arya Stark-she more like an antihero
Stannis Baratheon-He is a less evil version of Tywin(both are stern men who have done some questionable things),
Daenerys Targaryan-While i not a fan of hers, she is not an evildoer

[talvikorppi]

Jaime Lannister - victim, villain, redeeming himself
Tywin Lannister - ruthless... near villain
Tyrion Lannister - pathetic
Cersei Lannister - mad and paranoid, does a lot of bad but no grand scheme
Petyr Baelish - true villain. Unscrupulous, self-seeking
Varys -no idea. What is he up to?
Theon Greyjoy - stupid, confused boy. He's paid enough for his villaneous acts.
Victarion Greyjoy - pawn
Aeron Greyjoy - religious nut
Bran Stark - becoming a tree. We need to know if it's bad or not.
Arya Stark - horrible little killer but understandable.
Stannis Baratheon - [grinds teeth] (self)righteous, not evil
Daenerys Targaryan - entitled magical young girl who wreaks havoc wherever she goes

 

Of that list, Littlefinger is the only true villain.

Roose Bolton is a good villain. He was planning on betraying Robb long before the Red Wedding. He sent the Tallharts and Glovers on a futile, suicidal mission to Duskendale, just to have Robb-loyalist out of the way. His conversation with Jaime (and Brienne) in Harrenhal is instructive.

[Maid So Fair]

Kyra was very willing, not counting that one incident in Theon V.
There's a difference between age and there being a difference in class, if we saw Theon coerce a woman by saying "I'm a high lord and i'll give you this and that." or worse "if you don't sleep with me i'll do this and that to you" than I would agree. but we don't see him do that, in fact he's quite proud of not having to do that. he derives confidense from women willingly wanting to sleep with him. These women are old enough to make their own choices so I see no taking advantage here.

I also didn't say that there was nothing wrong with his treatment of women, he's often a dick to them (then again he's also a dick to people of lower class to him, he puts people down to make himself feel better) but I don't think you can make an argument of him taking advantage of women.

It is that 'one incident' (aka borderline rape) that I was referring to. That scene also illustrates why given the huge imbalance of power and the social status gulf between them her consent is somewhat illusory.

It doesn't have to be outright manipulation/coercion for someone to take advantage of someone else's vulnerability. To dismiss this as the women making their own choices ignores the influence of the patriarchal society they live in  - most of these girls would have received no formal education, travelled no further than the next village and live in a pretty desperate economic situation. They're obviously not responding to his flirting (because it's not as if the women are throwing themselves at him - he goes out of his way to get into Asha's pants) just because he's such a heartthrob. Whether or not you believe this amounts to him taking advantage or falls (just) short, it is not exactly exemplary behaviour. And we also see at the example of the captain's daughter, Asha and Kyra (ie all the women we see him with) that he has little regard for their honor, life or happiness and feels no responsibility for it either. Victarion's wife found herself feeding the crabs for what Theon was about to do with the alleged shipwright's wife and the captain's daughter, had she conceived, would now be a single mother in a society with no social security. 

ok but why are Arya, Bran and Dany "occsionally misguided" and not Jaime, Theon, Tyrion... When is someone "occasionally misguided" and when is someone evil according to you? Because I would agree with you that being misguided doesn't make you a villain. I don't consider any of thse characters villains nor do I think they ever were villains. With Jaime because he was misguided when pushing Bran out the window, which was his worst act by far. it's not like he enjoyed it. With Theon because he was a complete emotional mess due to things out of his control and therefor worked himself into a terrible situation convinced he had to do terrible things to get out of it. He was the very definition of misguided. And Tyrion because overal he's not so bad, just extremely bitter and I can understand why, which doesn't excuse him but he's not evil. (btw, I know you didn't say these characters are villains, I'm just making a point and clarifying with I mean with these three because they're the clearest examples to me)

You will note that I listed Tyrion as more of an anti-hero than a villain and Theon and Jaime as reforming/former villains. Tyrion, for all his flaws  and greyness is also capable of kindness and mostly tries to be a decent person. Theon and Jaime seem to have realised the error of their earlier ways and are striving towards this as well. Jaime wasn't misguided - he knew exactly what he was doing and didn't care that an innocent boy would die because he couldn't keep it in his pants. For years Jaime put his own selfish lust for his sister above the needs of the realm, not caring about the death and suffering this might cause, not just to strangers, but his own children and family. It wasn't an isolated incident either - he shows complete disregard for death and suffering of others as long as his selfish desires are met - until he meets Brienne who reminds him what kind of person he wanted to become. It's ridiculous to say that Theon's situation was out of his control - the plan to attack Winterfell was of his own devising. No one forced him to do it. When it went pear shaped he had multiple opportunities to turn back from that path, but he didn't take any of them. He traded lives of two innocent boys (among others) for his vanity. So that people wouldn't think him weak. That's not misguided. That's child murder committed on the back of the flimsiest of excuses. 

What makes Bran, Arya and Dany merely misguided as opposed to evil/villainous is the fact that while their behaviour is sometimes far from exemplary, they never cross the moral horizon into being truly criminal as far as I can see it, due to a mixture of good intentions and mitigating circumstances. Their bad choices and actions pale in comparison to those of the true villains surrounding them. 

Bran never does anything that I would call especially terrible - his worst action seem to be warging Hodor, which seems more like a taboo than a true crime. And while it (rightfully) upsets Hodor when it happens, it doesn't seem to have left any lasting damage. There's also the fact that that on most occasions, it is motivated by higher concerns, such as trying to keep their party (Hodor included) alive. Not nice, but it's no cold-blooded murder either. The second thing people list is eating human flesh - while not being 100% certain where it came from and being half-starved to death. (Good) people have resorted to worse in far less desperate circumstances.

Arya does kill people - usually in self-defence, while trying to escape from some horrific abuse or another. She could kill a 100 Pollivers and I wouldn't call her anything but a hero. Again, the only questionable choices are Daeron and the Insurance man, neither of which was a decent human being and at least in the latter case she was goaded into it by an assassin cult, leaving here with the choice of braving the streets or doing the work that someone else would have doen had she refused and ended up on the run again. Did their crimes warrant death? That's debatable.  But she doesn't kill them for the enjoyment of it or personal gain but because she considers it justice. She's misguided because it shouldn't be up to her to pass judgement and because vigilante justice is a problematic concept, but there is no doubt that Arya, after all that she's been through is a little girl with a huge heart, empathy to spare and a highly developed sense of justice. She's also a child in a desperate situation and shouldn't therefore be judged as harshly as we would an adult doing the same. (Same goes for Bran)

Dany is in different position to Arya and Bran, being a military leader and a ruler. Her decisions affect thousands and, yes, she makes mistakes. But while her methods sometimes aren't, her cause is definitely just and her heart is usually in the right place. She has to temper mercy with justice. Most importantly, we know that her motives are not selfish and that she's really trying to do good - as we can see when she balks at killing her (innocent) child hostages or when she represses and compromises her own desires (like reclaiming the throne of Westeros) in the name of doing the right thing, ie. giving her subjects peace and freedom. Unlike say Theon or Jaime she never commits an atrocity for personal gain or because it's an easy way out. 

Doing something that causes suffering to other people, with no regard for them, and for selfish/bad reasons is what makes you a villain. Combination of the severity of the crime and the motivation behind it as well. 

[INCBlackbird]

Killing a Night's Watch deserter is not child murder. They're not comparable. Dareon was no innocent. He knew that the penalty for deserting the Night's Watch was death. The children that Theon murdered were not guilty of any crime. Inexcusable means an unjustifiable act. Do you believe that Theon's murder of those children was justifiable?

I think they are comparable, they're both murder. And for me for example (and I'm not asking you to think the same way, just explaining myself) Dareon was a victim of the system, he said he was innocent and there's no reason to believe he wasn't, we know that the system is messed up and there must be many innocent people a the night's watch who were forced to swear their fealty to save their lives. I don't think that in that case they have any obligation to keep their vows. So I don't consider him guilty of any crime, let alone worthy of death.

To answer your question I think neither are unjustifiable, but I think they're excusable in the sense that both Arya and Theon had their reasons for what they did. Arya is a traumatised 12 year old trying to do right by her family and Theon is an emotionally unstable young man who felt like he had no choice in the matter but felt so guilty about that the GRRM found it nessacary to dedicate an entire chapter to Theon's resulting guilt nightmares and paranoia. The crimes are injustifiable but when juding the person commiting those crimes and the context in which they were commited it's not quite as simple as that.

[Maid So Fair]

I think they are comparable, they're both murder. And for me for example (and I'm not asking you to think the same way, just explaining myself) Dareon was a victim of the system, he said he was innocent and there's no reason to believe he wasn't, we know that the system is messed up and there must be many innocent people a the night's watch who were forced to swear their fealty to save their lives. I don't think that in that case they have any obligation to keep their vows. So I don't consider him guilty of any crime, let alone worthy of death.
To answer your question I think neither are unjustifiable, but I think they're excusable in the sense that both Arya and Theon had their reasons for what they did. Arya is a traumatised 12 year old trying to do right by her family and Theon is an emotionally unstable young man who felt like he had no choice in the matter but felt so guilty about that the GRRM found it nessacary to dedicate an entire chapter to Theon's resulting guilt nightmares and paranoia. The crimes are injustifiable but when juding the person commiting those crimes and the context in which they were commited it's not quite as simple as that.

And not all reasons are created equal by a long shot. You might not agree with Arya's notion of justice but there is no question that was what she had in mind.She stood to gain nothing from it. And even if Daeron was innocent of whatever he was originally accused of (which it's just as if not more likely he's guilty especially considering his story changes with every telling), he was hardly an innocent or even a very nice person, abandoning his companions in a foreign land so he could drink and whore. 

Theon kills two boys who have caused no harm to anybody, even alleged, and he did it for completely selfish reasons. He's also unlike Arya an adult, who should by now know when to take responsibility for his actions. He had options. He chose what was easy over what was right (or in this case not outright evil). He SHOULD feel guilty - just a shame he didn't actually feel enough guilt not to do it in the first place. He has no excuse. 

ETA: There's also a nice parallel between Arya, who truly owed the NW nothing, going out of her way to help Lommy, Hot Pie and Weasel and Daeron, who abandoned his duties at the earliest opportunity. 

[INCBlackbird]

It is that 'one incident' (aka borderline rape) that I was referring to. That scene also illustrates why given the huge imbalance of power and the social status gulf between them her consent is somewhat illusory.

It doesn't have to be outright manipulation/coercion for someone to take advantage of someone else's vulnerability. To dismiss this as the women making their own choices ignores the influence of the patriarchal society they live in  - most of these girls would have received no formal education, travelled no further than the next village and live in a pretty desperate economic situation. They're obviously not responding to his flirting (because it's not as if the women are throwing themselves at him - he goes out of his way to get into Asha's pants) just because he's such a heartthrob. Whether or not you believe this amounts to him taking advantage or falls (just) short, it is not exactly exemplary behaviour. And we also see at the example of the captain's daughter, Asha and Kyra (ie all the women we see him with) that he has little regard for their honor, life or happiness and feels no responsibility for it either. Victarion's wife found herself feeding the crabs for what Theon was about to do with the alleged shipwright's wife and the captain's daughter, had she conceived, would now be a single mother in a society with no social security.

I agree with that, there is a power inbalance and he took advantage of Kyra that one time. The thing is that he CAN take advantage of them, but most of the time he doesn't. The person I was argueing with specifically said that Theon took advantage of the miller's wife and the captain's daughter.

The thing I disagree with is that these women were nessacarily vulnearable. What makes you think that they didn't have sex with Theon simply because they wanted to? Because THEY enjoyed it as well. Kyra certainly seems to (not counting the one aforementioned incident), I also have to ask what a formal education has to do with it. Having sex is a natural act, it's a desire everyone has no matter what education they've had. Why are you so convinced that the women Theon had sex with didn't want to when the ones we see him do it with seem extremely willing.

About the thing with Asha: Notice the very different way he treats her and thinks about her from the captain's daughter. Theon appears to be into more domineering girls, he was extremely attracted to "Esgred" and very much wanted to please her. He even thinks about love once or twice, while the captain's daughter was more of a distraction to him, he wasn't actually attracted to her personality (not at all) he just wanted to do her and she wanted to do him so they did it.

true he feels no responsibility for their honor, happiness and so on. Because it's not his responsiblity, he's not trying to have a relationship with them, he just wants to have sex and if his "relationship" with Kyra is anything to go by, these girls know that too. This might not be nice of him to not care, then again I said before that Theon is not exactly nice to the women he sleeps with, he puts people down all the time. But morally I don't think there's anything wrong with that. There's quite a stigma against having random sex with strangers in our society, people look down on it. But personally I don't think there's anything wrong with it. and I don't think grown women of any class are children who can't decide who they should or should not have sex with. If both party's are willing, what is the problem?