Dating: a thing people are forced to do that no ethics committee would allow

[sologdin]

With the right pill(s), election is no longer a barrier against coitus nowadays.

as we may recall from 2000, electile dysfunction is no laughing matter, sir.

 

Scalia has no problem with necrophilia or paedophilia?

you fell for one of the classic blunders, the most famous of which is never get involved in a land war in asia, but only slight less well known is never go against a sicilian when sex with the dead is on the line.

[Lily Valley]

as we may recall from 2000, electile dysfunction is no laughing matter, sir.

 

Are you still talking about poles?  Grow up.

Here for a rant on dating etiquette.  

It is NEVER acceptable to tell someone you are no longer sleeping with about how boring your new lover is.  It is the worst combination of whining while hinting around for a booty call.  This tactic is especially infuriating if the person you are complaining to is age-appropriate (me) and the person you are complaining about is a 24 year old.  

If you are going to date someone 15 years your junior, you should expect them to be less experienced and have precious little in common in terms of life experience. 

What the fuck is wrong with people.

 

[Red Tiger]

as we may recall from 2000, electile dysfunction is no laughing matter, sir.

 

you fell for one of the classic blunders, the most famous of which is never get involved in a land war in asia, but only slight less well known is never go against a sicilian when sex with the dead is on the line.

Princess Bride was indeed a great film.

[TerraPrime]

 

It is NEVER acceptable to tell someone you are no longer sleeping with about how boring your new lover is.  It is the worst combination of whining while hinting around for a booty call.

It's just gauche to talk smack of people like that any way. Who goes around bad-mouthing their current fuck partners? Christ on a pogo stick.

[The guy from the Vale]

My dating life is still a mess. Since I haven't found a better job than the one I have so far, I'm still stuck with living with my ex as I can't afford to move out. At least she stopped smoking a week ago. The smell was getting unbearable. 

Cute coworker has turned out to be cute and nerdy coworker, which doesn't help in getting over her. And as long as I'm stuck in this job, I won't start anything with a coworker, thankyouverymuch.

In essence, I need a better job but can't get one so far. And that has direct effects on my dating life. Sucks, but that's what it is. 

[Arch-MaesterPhilip]

 

 

My dating life is still a mess. Since I haven't found a better job than the one I have so far, I'm still stuck with living with my ex as I can't afford to move out. At least she stopped smoking a week ago. The smell was getting unbearable. 

Cute coworker has turned out to be cute and nerdy coworker, which doesn't help in getting over her. And as long as I'm stuck in this job, I won't start anything with a coworker, thankyouverymuch.

In essence, I need a better job but can't get one so far. And that has direct effects on my dating life. Sucks, but that's what it is. 

I have reservations about dating women from work as well. Josie was one of those women. My situation is changing soon and I hope you find a better one too. 

[ithanos]

/nevermind, carry on.

I only ever dropped in to read this thread in the past out of curiosity, never lingering much as I couldn't relate. But this past week has opened my eyes to the minefield of our condition. What cruel maker would pull our strings like that? I have a greater appreciation for what you regulars put yourselves through out there. Best of luck people.  
     

[The guy from the Vale]

I feel with you, ithanos. I'd fully expect to have things going similarly in my case. Which is precisely why I refrain from making any move whatsoever. It makes my job suck even more than it already does, seeing how I'm both underpaid and underemployed (willing, but not able to do, full time at my current work place). But the alternative would be so much worse. It just adds incentive to find a new place. 

I just left my work place for Christmas, visiting my parents for the next few days. She'll be gone for the holidays while I'll be there between Christmas and New Year's Eve. Two weeks of rest from all that emotional turmoil will hopefully help me get over all this. OTOH, her reaction to my Christmas gift (I didn't just give her one, mind, but all three of my closest coworkers, and none of them worth more than €10) rather made me doubt if I had given too much away... but oh well.

[MinDonner]

On the topic of inappropriate office crushes... Hot Work Dude was my Secret Santa this year; I know this because a) I organised it, and b ) he rummaged right through the hat to dig my name out specifically. He spent a week or so threatening to just wrap up the books I'd lent him instead of getting a real present, but in the end I got some really nice bottles of beer, worth about 3 times the value of the suggested spending limit. Sigh.

I know, I know!

[Datepalm]

Noooo! Hot terrible men are the worst! Hot terrible men bearing alcohol and sending mixed signal=even more the worst. Min, you know I want to be you when I grow up, right? Set an example, woman!

Yeah, food today consisted of the worst salad i've ever had at dinner (no, no breakfast or lunch,) at the most overpriced cafe in Africa, a slice of cheese and wine. And now some more wine. It's not, per se, that the food here is bad. Nor, per se, that it's expensive (though it's both,) it's that the ratio of bad/expensive is just ridiculous. I was supposed to be taking out the guy from city hall i'm not-entirely-not-bribing for a nice meal to keep him feeling involved and mollified and generally cooperative, and it was the most frustrating two hours of my life. And it was all in French, which no offense, is just an awful language. Except actually it wasn't that bad, because that's how it goes, and I could be bribing him in actual money instead of in meals, so as these things go this is merely a company being generous with it's per diems to keep things smooth and basically fine, and I got some kind of results, and I had a really exhausting but overall productive day before that and none of my students were threatened with getting arrested and I got all my map points down at last and had the tough talk about people not actually doing the work they were, uh, hired to do and it went ok, I think, so ok.

But! All I can think now is...i'd like to talk to crazy economist dude about it. I'd like to talk to someone about it. I'd like to be back from work and having this glass of wine (soon second glass of wine) not on my own and I'd like some actual human interaction that isn't with someone i'm employing or being employed by, and Crazy Economist is who my mind keeps wandering back to, and it's the worst. I'll tell you why it's the worst - because I've been angry with him and hurt by him and that's all fine. That's great. That's a weird, obsessive complex and I totally get that I would have one of those. (honestly, I keep thinking I use this as a more hygenic alternative to cutting, sometimes,) But this thing where I'm just missing him and thinking, gosh, It would be nice to chat and all that, that's just terrible, and that makes no sense after all this time and all that angry water under the confusing bridge and I don't know what to make of it or how to make it go away. And there's no talking to him. It's not like I can send a text and say hey let's chat, and he'll be there and we'll have some mildly friendly, banal chat for a few minutes and I'll be reminded that really this is just a distant acquaintance from that one time and that's it and move the hell on. Nooooo.....he'll get back to me after ten days saying we should talk in two weeks, then he'll vanish, then i'll get annoyed, then he'll apologize and reschedule, then he'll stand me up again with some explanation about a crisis of academia requiring total devotion of mind, body and soul, that will just make me pity him and want to dig around in what passes for his personality some more, but then I'll get mad at him, and then something weird and damaged and incredibly painful will happen - very slowly - probably with a remarkable economy of actual communication. And that's not worth it. Hence this post instead.

There's lots of people who are actual friends who I should want to talk to more. There are lots of people I haven't seen in a year that I don't want to talk to at all with any kind of urgency, which how I see it as how it should be. So. I'm really unhappy with this here situation.

Ugh do we still have a drunk thread?

(Just so we're clear, i've had half a glass of white wine diluted in a cup of chamomile tea. (you should have seen my French roommate's face when she found out that this is how I consume alcohol.) I just have hilariously low alcohol tolerance.)

Good grief what has happened to me?

[Buckwheat]

Aw Datepalm. I do not really have useful advice, but it seems you might need a hug.

I can only repeat what a good friend told me when I had a breakdown about a certain gentleman, and that was not to drink alcohol.

[Arch-MaesterPhilip]

I can't drink when I'm sad about a lady. It works for a while but then I sober up and I'm sad again. 

[Liffguard]

I can't drink when I'm sad about a lady. It works for a while but then I sober up and I'm sad again. 

It seems that the obvious solution would be to not sober up. Problem solved, I'll PM you an invoice.

[The guy from the Vale]

Darn. I had hoped time with my family would help me calm down. Instead, I'm constantly fantasizing (not even on a sexual level) about her. It also doesn't help that a rather well-known pop song is named like her, so I'm humming that one in my head all the time. Last time I was that infatuated was way back when I was 16. Yep, feeling like a hormone-driven teenager again. Not a particularly pleasant experience by any stretch.

So, Datepalm, while I'm not quite as far down the rabbit hole as you are I still want to cheer to you, from one doomed infatuation to another

[zelticgar]

Darn. I had hoped time with my family would help me calm down. Instead, I'm constantly fantasizing (not even on a sexual level) about her. It also doesn't help that a rather well-known pop song is named like her, so I'm humming that one in my head all the time. Last time I was that infatuated was way back when I was 16. Yep, feeling like a hormone-driven teenager again. Not a particularly pleasant experience by any stretch.

So, Datepalm, while I'm not quite as far down the rabbit hole as you are I still want to cheer to you, from one doomed infatuation to another

Okay, I'll guess - Rosanna from Toto or Sweet Caroline!

 

[The guy from the Vale]

Not gonna answer that one

[Prosesskrift]

I'm having another day with the younger lawyer closer to new years. I've been feeling rather melancholy lately, so it's good to have something to look forwards to. Although buying gifts have cheered me up too.

Buying a christmas present for my wife was one of my favourite parts of christmas. Her delight when you found something she truly liked was so very lovely. It would keep me warm for weeks. This year I've poured all of that into buying presents for my nephews and nieses. I fear I might have gone a little overboard, but it made me happy and, I think, will make me all the more so when they unwrap it. I'm especially looking forwards to my seven year old nephew unwrapping the massive, truly massive, lego star destroyer I found.

 

 

 

[Datepalm]

I feel like I should say, right, I'm never drinking again, (my roomates boyfriend came by, asked if I wanted a glass of wine, and when I said "I've already had a few" took that to mean yes rather than no and handed me another,) but to be honest except for a fairly mild headache now, I feel ok. Got through the evening. Texted no one. All's well. Melancholy, but well, and that might only be because it's raining.

[sologdin]

Crazy Economist is who my mind keeps wandering back to

comradely advice:  merciless materialist analysis of underlying libidinal economy is condition precedent to sending out schmaltzy messages.  mind wanders against the will otherwise; that's a dialectical tension in need of resolution.

[Datepalm]

Analyses have been preformed, trust me. I'm wondering if a fitter approach at present is simply to follow emotional irrationality - want to text/do something else (drinking if must.)  Angry/be angry, etc. Disallow all self-examination or broader musings on the human condition. Evidently analysis simply engages the intellect and maintains that state of nerdish need to puzzle solve, regarding both parties (Ie: "What's wrong with that guy!?" leading to "What's wrong with me?!") Hormones must be well out of system by now, after all.