HexMachina Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 42 minutes ago, polishgenius said: I believe in a thing called love. Just listen to the rhythm of my heart. I like to think that (romantic) love does exist, though at times I struggle with that, likely because I have not experienced it myself yet. But then, I think that this idea of "love" is not going to be universal. So what I perceive as love, and believe exists, may differ from what polishgenius (as an example, since I quoted him) thinks love is. Interesting question though Red Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red Tiger Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 47 minutes ago, HelenaExMachina said: Just listen to the rhythm of my heart. I like to think that (romantic) love does exist, though at times I struggle with that, likely because I have not experienced it myself yet. But then, I think that this idea of "love" is not going to be universal. So what I perceive as love, and believe exists, may differ from what polishgenius (as an example, since I quoted him) thinks love is. Interesting question though Red I am surprised to read this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HexMachina Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 3 hours ago, Red Tiger said: I am surprised to read this. Well, only young so plenty of time, and it's not like I've really been actively seeking it or anything so it's not too surprising. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The guy from the Vale Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 Gonna ask my coworker (well, coworker for this week, then I'll be working for another firm at last) tomorrow if she's up for some drinks after work on Thursday. Wish me luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theda Baratheon Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wise Fool Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 4 hours ago, Mandy said: LMFAO Honestly, this is why I am not actively looking for anyone. Hanging/socializing with friends is plenty for me unless I happen to meet someone spectacular. Or even just not horrible lol ETA: To answer the above question, yes I believe in love. I've been in love a few times in my life. I'm glad you laughed. Honestly, it's pretty fucking hilarious, and I deeply respect anyone who gets it. I guess I won't be actively looking, per se, so much as... keeping an eye open and being open to possibilities. That's my new outlook. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JonSnow4President Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 Well, it's not really a date, but I'm taking the girl I have a major crush on (who as far as I can tell reciprocates, but doesn't want a relationship because of other factors in her life) to a ballet based on her favorite Disney Princess movie (Sleeping Beauty) in a little over a month thanks to an ad they sent through the firm we work for. At bare minimum, get to cross see a ballet off the list of things to do once, plus connect with a friend (with hopes for more) more. March 5th needs to hurry up and get here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frances Bean Corbray Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 On 1/25/2016 at 3:58 PM, Red Tiger said: Alright, a mini-survey question for the dating thread posters. Now I have heard the topic of love come up a lot amongst friends and family, but I basically just date for physical attraction. I dont really believe in it, but I find it interesting to hear other people's takes on it. Do you folks believe in love? I am not talking about the love for close friends or close familly, off course. Of course I do. I see evidence of its influence on people all the time. It's like The Moon. I don't have to go to the moon in order to prove its existence and thus believe in it. Which is a good thing, because I'm never going to go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buckwheat Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 Good luck, Vale guy! Congratulations on finding a new job too. I believe in love as well, and I do not think having a crush needs to be separated from that either. I see it as a start of being in love (that can then evolve into a more "serious"/"realistic" form or not). Therefore, I believe I have also been in love, though some might say I have only had a crush on somebody. I do not think there is a difference, or better, I see having a crush/being infatuated as a form of romantic love. It does not need to last for years before I will call it love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SerHaHa Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 Theda, I agree with others here, you don't owe him anything, and it sounded like you were very kind to him yet he still didn't pick up what you were putting down. IMO you're doing both you and him little good by not making it VERY clear that you and he just aren't vibing, not even as "friends". Him having brought up your private affairs in the manner he did so quickly also gives pause - this is possibly the sort that you shouldn't mess with in terms of being unclear in the slightest. I'm sure you'll work it out fine, but I do hope if he persists, you get extremely firm with him and let him know in NO uncertain terms that you aren't interested in interacting with him further, mostly for your sake, but also for his. Quote I probably won't find someone who "fits" well with me, I think it's rather difficult to find. Mandy, I have a very similar and dismal outlook. I was with my SO from 1996 until 2006, we owned a home, vehicles, pets, etc together. I left as my job took me off to war, and my SO essentially gave me an ultimatum, it was quit my line of work and stay out of the fracas, or call it quits with us. I chose to leave, and didn't really regret it until recently. It's been very difficult to find someone I wish to spend more than a short period of time with, and not for lack of trying. It shouldn't be this hard I keep telling myself, yet it seems to only be getting more difficult, at a depressingly increasing rate. The grass can seem greener on the other side, and sometimes for a while it is, but grass always ends up turning brown at some piont. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Datepalm Posted January 27, 2016 Author Share Posted January 27, 2016 Spontaneously asked Chemistry Guy for coffee when I found myself near his office today...caught up a bit, but kind of unenthusiastic? Or just nothing much to tell? I dunno. He's apparently still swamped and in the middle of some sort of farcical academic tragi-comedy involving deep layers of unhapiness and resentment in an a international crew of bickering physicists centered on someone moving a chair too loudly. I find this pleasing as a situation but other than that not sure this was a particularly successful date. Next move, if any, is his, I think. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arch-MaesterPhilip Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 I'm grabbing drinks tomorrow night after work with a member of my old gym. She is a therapist which should be interesting. I hope this is the opposite of my last night out with a lady. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SerHaHa Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 Mandy, for me I do feel as you described that brown grass to be - preferable to finding somebody knew, or at least more preferred than the huge effort and high failure rate involved. I don't have children, but I can understand how much more complex and difficult it could make an already difficult thing - finding that right "someone" again. IMO I believe woman have an advantage in the "search" as generally in the various ways people meet people, women have more opportunities come there way than men, be it men seeking women, or men seeking men. Just my observation of my local scene, I'm sure it could be different elsewhere, but overall I think women should be optimistic regardless of circumstance as there are always many decent men out looking for the same things. Men looking for another man however - diverging agendas seem to often shoot things down before they even get a chance to begin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The guy from the Vale Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 News. Some good, some bad. The bad news first: She's unavailable Thursday. The good news? She directly gave me a counter offer for next Wednesday. I guess that response could have been worse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HexMachina Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 45 minutes ago, theguyfromtheVale said: News. Some good, some bad. The bad news first: She's unavailable Thursday. The good news? She directly gave me a counter offer for next Wednesday. I guess that response could have been worse. Congrats! And this way, you are "officially" not coworkers when you go on your date too (if I've remembered your last post correctly anyway) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Datepalm Posted January 27, 2016 Author Share Posted January 27, 2016 FWIW, I'm a woman looking for something very, very casual, and much more interested in finding someone - also ok with multiple someones - I find attractive enough - whatever that means - to sleep around with and absolutely do not want any kind of settling down to be anywhere on, near, or in the same time zone as the table...and it's tricky and frustrating and not having a lot of luck. So I think my - and everyone's - impression of men (or women) having the 'upper hand' is simply due to sampling bias. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maithanet Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 I think it is very easy for people to think the opposite sex has things easier in dating. It is one of the tricks our brain plays on us to make us feel better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arch-MaesterPhilip Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 2 hours ago, Mandy said: I hope this date doesn't run outside of the restaurant/bar to buy some crack lmfao (kidding) But really, good luck. Theda - please don't feel obligated to spend time with ANYONE you don't want to. Go with your gut Datepalm - I think it was really great you had to confidence to invite him to coffee and I agree, the ball is in his court. Hopefully he won't just let it sit there. I am reasonably certain that isn't going to happen this time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The guy from the Vale Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 1 hour ago, HelenaExMachina said: Congrats! And this way, you are "officially" not coworkers when you go on your date too (if I've remembered your last post correctly anyway) I admit I'll be totally nervous. Haven't been dating for close to a decade so I feel a bit like a fish on land, flapping about helplessly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buckwheat Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 27 minutes ago, theguyfromtheVale said: I admit I'll be totally nervous. Haven't been dating for close to a decade so I feel a bit like a fish on land, flapping about helplessly. No need to be. Try being yourself and not forcing anything and I am sure everything will go just fine. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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