Jon Fossoway Posted December 30, 2015 Share Posted December 30, 2015 Only woman I found grimmer than Selyse is Barbrey Dustin. The latter kicks some ass, so I would prefer her. Besides, her husband died in Bob's rebellion, fighting for Bob. I picture both as a married couple and some hellish teeth grinding is all I get. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Light a wight tonight Posted December 30, 2015 Share Posted December 30, 2015 Find the girl you want to drive to misery and then set her up with Stannis. Jk, Stannis is not Mr. Fun but he's better than that womanizer Robert. I'm saying Lady Dustin and Stannis. The bolded part would be easy: Lynette Hightower. Barbrey Ryswell was apparently pretty cool until Brandon was betrothed to Cat, then Ned married Cat, and she had to settle for William Dustin, a huge comedown. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dance of the Krackens Posted December 30, 2015 Share Posted December 30, 2015 The Baratheon hold is already tenuous in the Stormlands, as demonstrated by several lords not answering when Robert called his banners in rebellion, and later when Renly called his own in the Wot5k. If their hold on the Stormlands is limited, imagine how weak their dominion over the Crownlands would be.For this reason, I would betroth Stannis and Renly to the most powerful bannermen of each region. Renly to Swann or Caron, and Stannis to Velaryon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dariopatke Posted December 30, 2015 Share Posted December 30, 2015 The Baratheon hold is already tenuous in the Stormlands, as demonstrated by several lords not answering when Robert called his banners in rebellion, and later when Renly called his own in the Wot5k. If their hold on the Stormlands is limited, imagine how weak their dominion over the Crownlands would be.For this reason, I would betroth Stannis and Renly to the most powerful bannermen of each region. Renly to Swann or Caron, and Stannis to Velaryon. Completly agree! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Minsc Posted December 30, 2015 Share Posted December 30, 2015 Lysa Tully is a bitter and grumpy woman that actively dislikes her older sibling that overshadows her while appearing to have a poor relationship with her younger brother.Stannis Baratheon is a bitter and grumpy man that actively dislikes his older sibling that overshadows him while appearing to have a poor relationship with her younger brother. They are practically a match made in heaven, damn Jon Arryn for getting in their way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Good Guy Garlan Posted December 30, 2015 Share Posted December 30, 2015 Why get in the way of true love? Asha. Her cunt would be his world. A whole new world, if you will, and Asha would sing this to him (keep in mind that by "world" she means her vagina):I can show you the worldShining, shimmering, splendidTell me, king, now when didYou last let your heart decide?I can open your eyesTake you wonder by wonderOver, sideways and under (if you know what I mean)On a magic galley rideA whole new worldA new fantastic point of view (oh, you bet ya)No one to tell us noOr where to goOr say we're only dreaming Seriously, though, I'd say Lynesse Hightower to have ties to the Tyrells, or Ynys Yronwood as a not so subtle threat to the Martells Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Curled Finger Posted December 30, 2015 Share Posted December 30, 2015 That Barbery Ryswell/Stannis match is perfect. Short of that my 1st thought was a Dornish lass to loosen him up a little. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Wraith Posted December 30, 2015 Share Posted December 30, 2015 Robert is Crowned in 284, Stannis is married in 286/87.It depends who was willing. I am sure that a Hightower daughter would have been preferable but they may have been unwilling to deal with the Baratheons so soon after the wedding. Same with many other prominent Reach and Dornish Houses. Clearly relations were still a little frosty between the former royalists and the Usurper for a few years after the war. One of the main reasons Balon rebels is that he is convinced that Robert does not have the support of the entire realm.The Florents may have been the most powerful Reach House willing to male that kind of alliance.I agree that Hightower would have been a more a better match than the Florents. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Minsc Posted December 30, 2015 Share Posted December 30, 2015 A whole new world, if you will, and Asha would sing this to him (keep in mind that by "world" she means her vagina):I am pretty positive that song was already about sex even without replacing "world" for "vagina." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JonCon's Red Beard Posted December 30, 2015 Share Posted December 30, 2015 Why get in the way of true love? Asha. Her cunt would be his world. A whole new world, if you will, and Asha would sing this to him (keep in mind that by "world" she means her vagina): Wait... it doesn't mean vagina in the original song???? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Good Guy Garlan Posted December 30, 2015 Share Posted December 30, 2015 I am pretty positive that song was already about sex even without replacing "world" for "vagina."Oh, totally, but in the original "world" stands in for "Aladdin's penis". This is the feminist version. (I do cringe at what the poor magic carpet had to endure, though)JonCon, those verses are sung by Aladdin, so unless that movie was super progressive, I think it means his...ahem, magic lamp. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JonCon's Red Beard Posted December 30, 2015 Share Posted December 30, 2015 Oh, totally, but in the original "world" stands in for "Aladdin's penis". This is the feminist version. (I do cringe at what the poor magic carpet had to endure, though)JonCon, those verses are sung by Aladdin, so unless that movie was super progressive, I think it means his...ahem, magic lamp. Jasmine's verses:Unbelievable sightsIndescribable feelingsSoaring, tumbling, freewheelingThrough an endless diamond sky what is he doing?? Is his dick magical too?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Good Guy Garlan Posted December 30, 2015 Share Posted December 30, 2015 Jasmine's verses:Unbelievable sightsIndescribable feelingsSoaring, tumbling, freewheelingThrough an endless diamond sky what is he doing?? Is his dick magical too?? It's like a magic lamp. If you rub it all your wishes come true. Apparently Jasmine's wish was to have an orgasm filtered by Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilentDystopia Posted December 30, 2015 Share Posted December 30, 2015 It's like a magic lamp. If you rub it all your wishes come true. Apparently Jasmine's wish was to have an orgasm filtered by Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds. Jasmine's verses:Unbelievable sightsIndescribable feelingsSoaring, tumbling, freewheelingThrough an endless diamond sky what is he doing?? Is his dick magical too?? NO NO NO!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO YOU BOTH RUINED MY CHILDHOOD! Jk but omg that is HILARIOUS! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batman Posted December 30, 2015 Share Posted December 30, 2015 A Florent match was not a bad idea, in theory. A Hightower or a Yronwood might be a better match. A Yronwood is basically the Dornish equivalent of a Florent, in that they still had a claim to Dorne (and serious enmity towards the Martells). Get in with an alliance before Doran could heel their rift and it keeps the Martells honest. Better than the Florents anyway since Yronwood is the second strongest house in Dorne and the Florents are not in the Reach. Either way, I don't think Stannis is built for marriage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
purple-eyes Posted December 30, 2015 Share Posted December 30, 2015 Now I think the reason that he married florent is just GRRM wanted to keep house hightower separately from these plots so that he can use them later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bob Sacamano Posted December 30, 2015 Share Posted December 30, 2015 Robert is Crowned in 284, Stannis is married in 286/87.It depends who was willing. I am sure that a Hightower daughter would have been preferable but they may have been unwilling to deal with the Baratheons so soon after the wedding. Same with many other prominent Reach and Dornish Houses. Clearly relations were still a little frosty between the former royalists and the Usurper for a few years after the war. One of the main reasons Balon rebels is that he is convinced that Robert does not have the support of the entire realm.The Florents may have been the most powerful Reach House willing to male that kind of alliance.If you're Balon, don't you realize that the West, Riverlands and North all have VERY strong ties with each other and the crown?? I know this has been discussed before, but God bless, Balon's IQ is lower than Forrest Gump's. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shuvuuia Posted December 30, 2015 Share Posted December 30, 2015 Rhaegar. Everything happened because Stannis wasn't born a girl.does he need to be a girl? If only Melisandre or Quburn appeared earlier, they could've given them nice shadow/frankenbabies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A spoon of knife and fork Posted December 30, 2015 Share Posted December 30, 2015 Davos - Stannis' knight in shining armor. Timeline doesn't work since they didn't know each other before Stannis married Selyse.Who should Robert marry Stannis to... Choose one of his own bannermens daughters, perhaps. That way, when Roberts son comes of age, taking DS as his seat following the tradition of the IT, there will be support for Stannis taking back his seat at S.E. (Which I assume was Roberts/Jons ultimate plan?). As it was, Stannis had no political connection to the stormlands so there was no check on ambitious schemers to try to use young Renly for political purposes... Which of course is what happened. With a wife from a strong stormlands house, There would at least be division among the bannermen if Renly tries to declare himself king or Lord of SE. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beorn Snow Posted December 30, 2015 Author Share Posted December 30, 2015 A Florent might have been a good match. Selyse was not. She was a Florent girl of no consequence. Stannis was a lord and the King's brother with thousands of swords that could be rallied to his side. He married far below his station. Had he married one of Alester's daughters I'd think that would fit.As to who he should have married, that depends. Given his status as brother to a King, a LP family would seem right, but none to marry in his age group. Perhaps a Hightower daughter.I agree. A daughter of the Florent lord ... his sister perhaps ... his niece? No.Only woman I found grimmer than Selyse is Barbrey Dustin. The latter kicks some ass, so I would prefer her. Besides, her husband died in Bob's rebellion, fighting for Bob. I picture both as a married couple and some hellish teeth grinding is all I get.Barbrey might have fitted. But the north is pretty strongly opposed to Targaryen rule and Ned is not the type to betray Robert.The bolded part would be easy: Lynette Hightower. Barbrey Ryswell was apparently pretty cool until Brandon was betrothed to Cat, then Ned married Cat, and she had to settle for William Dustin, a huge comedown.Many mention the Hightowers.I agree that would be a good match. It´s a powerful family and it actually would bring the Baratheons and Tyrrels closer as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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