What is the difference between concubine, paramour and mistress?

[purple-eyes]

These titles sound similar. 

If we say a long-term stable mistress is called paramour (Ellaria), then why those women of Aegon IV were called mistresses? One of them even lasted for 10 years. 

Joanna was also rumored to be paramour of Aerys for a while. So it is not a special term in Dorne. 

And in westeros, nobody call them concubine. Only in Essos.  so I guess concubine is more closer to a wife, she can live with the man at home, like Lynesse or salty wife, but how about her children? can they inherit? 

 

 

[Lord Fauntleroy]

You love a paramour. Thus the "amour" part.

You typically employ or enslave a concubine, think slave Leia with Jabba in Star Wars.

A mistress is an officially acknowledged fuck-buddy.

[purple-eyes]

 

 

You love a paramour. Thus the "amour" part.

 

You typically employ or enslave a concubine, think slave Leia with Jabba in Star Wars.

 

A mistress is an officially acknowledged fuck-buddy.

 

 

Aegon IV said he loved his nine mistresses out of all of his women. Missy is well known as his beloved mistress and had a statue. 

I feel paramour is more likely in a more stable relationship and higher social status.

 

 

 

[The Ned's Little Girl]

A concubine is kept for the sole purpose of sexual relations and is kept firmly in the background, out of sight.

A paramour can appear with her lover in public but otherwise is kept in the background.

A mistress can appear in public with or without her lover and has the possibility of exercising political power and influence.

 

[Jon's Queen Consort]

I think paramour and mistress are more formal relationships with higher status when concubine is just a sexual relationship.

[SeanF]

Aegon IV said he loved his nine mistresses out of all of his women. Missy is well known as his beloved mistress and had a statue. 

I feel paramour is more likely in a more stable relationship and higher social status.

 

 

 

I doubt if Aegon IV loved anyone, really.

Edit, apart from himself, obviously.

[Lord Fauntleroy]

Aegon IV said he loved his nine mistresses out of all of his women. Missy is well known as his beloved mistress and had a statue. 

I feel paramour is more likely in a more stable relationship and higher social status.

 

 

 

I wouldn't really trust Aegon IV on anything, he's a huge womanizer and terrible person who likely lied through his teeth to excuse his sexual exploits.

I agree on the paramour part, seems like the next best status after wife.

[Ferocious Veldt Roarer]

All the same. "Paramour" just sounds nicer. And is almost exclusively Dornish: I found but one example of the word used not in Dornish context.

[purple-eyes]

All the same. "Paramour" just sounds nicer. And is almost exclusively Dornish: I found but one example of the word used not in Dornish context.

there were at lease Joanna and sheira seastar being called paramour. 

[Jak Scaletongue]

A concubine is kept for the sole purpose of sexual relations and is kept firmly in the background, out of sight.

A paramour can appear with her lover in public but otherwise is kept in the background.

A mistress can appear in public with or without her lover and has the possibility of exercising political power and influence.

 

This, *technically* - though the terms "paramour" and "mistress" can, and often will be, used interchangeably by everyone who does not care for the semantics!  Technically, they mean slightly different things, but for a lot of people (in Westeros and in real life), "close enough" is close enough!  "Same shit, different pile" basically!  "Concubine" is different shit and different pile, though.

"Paramour" does seem to be used to imply "I wish I *could* marry her, but I can't" whereas as "Mistress" seems to imply "I really, really like/love her, but I don't want to marry her."

[purple-eyes]

So looks like I  wrong about concubine. 

Your guys said it is more like a bed slave. 

But lynesse Hightower is a concubine and his wife feared of her. 

I always felt this meant she was held as some thing close to wife. Like secondary wife. 

[kimim]

Differences are not clear. My take would be paramour=mistress. They can be open or secret. They can wield influence in your life/reign or not. You might be madly in love with them or not. Depends on you. Whether their children can be legitimate heirs depends on your legal code. Neither can be a slave, though. They can't belong to you; both need to be free agents.

Concubine=slave, used as a sexual partner. You might be in love with them or not. They can be hidden or not. Their children can be legitimate heirs or not; depends on society.

[Blind Beth the Cat Lady]

The main difference is that the children of a concubine will be considered legitimate. That's part of her purpose, to boost the number of legit offspring a man can have. But while legitimate they don't have as high of standing as the wife's children. This isn't a thing in Westeros, but some Esossi societies do it.

Mistress/paramour...well, it just depends on how much you like the woman. Less = mistress, more = paramour.

[Ferocious Veldt Roarer]

there were at lease Joanna and sheira seastar being called paramour. 

Egg likely could have learned the word from his mum (a Dayne).

[purple-eyes]

So lynesse finally became a slave herself....

but sh is certainly a favored one. She was called chief concubine. 

[Jak Scaletongue]

So looks like I  wrong about concubine. 

Your guys said it is more like a bed slave. 

But lynesse Hightower is a concubine and his wife feared of her. 

I always felt this meant she was held as some thing close to wife. Like secondary wife. 

I got the impression that Lynesse Hightower was just looking for a "sugar daddy" - though I'll admit, the info we've been given is quite biased against her.  In one of Sam's Oldtown chapter's, she's referred to as a "whore," but again, it is a very biased source! 

It does depend on the society - in Westeros, a concubine isn't likely to have much in the way of political power or even personal security.  And it doesn't sound like her children would be able to inherit in Westeros, not without the kids being legitimized by the King like any other bastard.  Though I think the Iron Islands, with their two different types of "wives" might be slightly different.

But Lys is a different society and culture.  In some places (Ancient China, Ancient Egypt) concubines weren't "equal" to wives politically, but their children were able to inherit everything, up to and including the throne.  I wouldn't be surprised if Lynesse's status as a high Lord's* concubine in Lys is greater than her status as Lady of Bear Island in Westeros!

*I know they aren't "Lords" in Lys, but I'm too lazy to look up the right word on the wiki!

[Lord Lannister]

There's obviously overlap between the three words and they're open to interpretation among different people and cultures. It's kinda like comparing and contrasting the differences between a warrior, a fighter and a soldier.

[purple-eyes]

Egg likely could have learned the word from his mum (a Dayne).

I doubt if everybody else call sheira mistress, egg would call her paramour just because his mom's home country had paramour. 

 

[purple-eyes]

There's obviously overlap between the three words and they're open to interpretation among different people and cultures. It's kinda like comparing and contrasting the differences between a warrior, a fighter and a soldier.

but grrm seems to be quite careful to use these three titles. 

They do look different. Especially concubine. I think their children are legit. But children of mistress and paramour are badtards. 

[Blind Beth the Cat Lady]

Yes, a concubine can have a wide range of standing in the household, from bedslave to a Lynesse Hightower-like sway over the man. The defining feature of a concubine is that it is a legal relationship resulting in legitimate children. If you want to get rid of a concubine you have to go through a legal process (or a very sketchy process like having her killed), you can't just dump her like a mistress or paramour.

No one in Westeros has a concubine, it is not a recognized institution there.

Paramour is a more respectful term, implies higher respect for the woman and higher social approval for the relationship. Mistress implies illegitimate relationship and less respect for the woman. But if you're openly the king's mistress, well, anyone who doesn't approve or respect you can go cry in a corner.