LBGTQ - 4 out of 5 cats prefer lesbians

[Egalitarianism Always]

On 13/01/2016 at 4:40 PM, Hereward said:

Worth bearing in mind it was a Conservative led government that introduced gay marriage.

With over half of the conservatives opposing it, I think not.

Opposed
136 Conservatives MPs
22 Labour MPs
4 Lib Dem MPs

In favour
127 Conservatives MPs
217 Labour MPs
44 Lib Dem MPs

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-21346694

 

 

[HexMachina]

One of my tutors forwarded This to me today (one of my modules is the Russian Legal System, and last week we were looking at some of their anti-LGBTQ policies). Thought some of you might be interested 

[TrackerNeil]

On 2/11/2016 at 7:31 PM, Whitestripe said:

Re: Excluding males from FEMME performance

We're a pretty liberal campus, and I don't know if it's just that nobody reads the Womyn's Center emails or if people don't care,  but the gender neutral bathrooms on campus have gotten more press than this event has. There were a few Yik Yaks questioning the reasoning behind the exclusion.  Some responded that the content was pretty intense while others said that the audience would probably self-select. I dunno, I think anyone should be able to attend.

I feel as though this takes us into the topic of safe spaces. In my view, a safe space is defined not by who is present but who is in control. I don't have a problem with "outsiders" (meaning those who are not a member of the demographic for whom the safe space is intended) being present so long as they understand that, in these spaces, their point of view is not default or dominant, and that they are guests and should behave accordingly. When I go to someone else's house, I follow all reasonable rules and conduct myself with politeness and restraint, and I expect no less from outsiders in a safe space. 

[Robin Of House Hill]

Both the South Dakota House and Senate have passed an anti-transgender "bathroom bill." If the governor signs it, it becomes law and will set the stage for a legal battle.

[Shuvuuia]

On 14.02.2016 at 9:54 PM, HelenaExMachina said:

One of my tutors forwarded This to me today (one of my modules is the Russian Legal System, and last week we were looking at some of their anti-LGBTQ policies). Thought some of you might be interested 

and I don't get it's purpose. They are not in Russian or any other of the languages spoken here.  So they are not for made to fight homophobia in Russia. And older generations of LGBTAQ+ people (although not everyone) could be uncomfortable with using Soviet propaganda posters for this purpose anyway. 

As a bisexual woman from Russia , 90% of what I've seen in response to all this godawful situation is very unpleasant. Instead of supporting LGBTAQ+ people of Russia, it is mostly making fun of foreigners, sometimes with stereotypes harmful to real LGBTAQ people in Russia (or any marginalized people in general), or well-meaning but misinformed nonsense. Instead of listening to the actual people who are affected. Granted, mainstream community is very classist and racist/xenophobic, but foreign community also gives 0 moral support.

[HexMachina]

2 minutes ago, Shuvuuia said:

and I don't get it's purpose. They are not in Russian or any other of the languages spoken here.  So they are not for made to fight homophobia in Russia. And older generations of LGBTAQ+ people (although not everyone) could be uncomfortable with using Soviet propaganda posters for this purpose anyway. 

As a bisexual woman from Russia , 90% of what I've seen in response to all this godawful situation is very unpleasant. Instead of supporting LGBTAQ+ people of Russia, it is mostly making fun of foreigners, sometimes with stereotypes harmful to real LGBTAQ people in Russia (or any marginalized people in general), or well-meaning but misinformed nonsense. Instead of listening to the actual people who are affected. Granted, mainstream community is very classist and racist/xenophobic, but foreign community also gives 0 moral support.

I appreciate your perspective on this, thanks for responding. When I was looking through them, I did wonder about using Soviet propaganda and associating it with LGBTQ+ and whether it might actually be counter-productive. Sort of, the association with the Soviet regime and all of its negative connotations etc. may not be really helpful. Would you agree with that? 

Fwiw, this wasn't passed on to me with any comment, I was just among several things forwarded in an email. 

If you don't mind my asking (and feel free to not respond, or respond by pm if you would rather) do you still live in Russia now? If so, would you say the actual attitude towards LGBTQ+ is reflective of various poll results and media view that indicate overwhelming opposition? (I don't have the notes I took to hand, but I think one poll had as little as 30% or so in favour of same-sex marriage, as one example). Again, don't feel you have to answer at all! Thanks

[Shuvuuia]

5 minutes ago, HelenaExMachina said:

I appreciate your perspective on this, thanks for responding. When I was looking through them, I did wonder about using Soviet propaganda and associating it with LGBTQ+ and whether it might actually be counter-productive. Sort of, the association with the Soviet regime and all of its negative connotations etc. may not be really helpful. Would you agree with that? 

 

Well, yes - for the long time homosexuality was considered a crime, so using a Soviet propaganda seems insensitive. Plus people from former Soviet Republics could have other issues with it because of other political and historical issues.

Not everyone - I think many LGBTAQ+ people would think it is harmless  (postcards, notebooks and memes that use Soviet propaganda posters are always popular here, but this situation is different and should be treated more seriously) and maybe even consider soviet times more safe than nowadays.

I'd have been ok with it, if it had a clear purpose/goal that could've helped actual people here.

5 minutes ago, HelenaExMachina said:

If you don't mind my asking (and feel free to not respond, or respond by pm if you would rather) do you still live in Russia now? If so, would you say the actual attitude towards LGBTQ+ is reflective of various poll results and media view that indicate overwhelming opposition? (I don't have the notes I took to hand, but I think one poll had as little as 30% or so in favour of same-sex marriage, as one example). Again, don't feel you have to answer at all! Thanks

Yes, I live in Russia. I can't really tell if it's reflective or not - mainstream media (mainly tv and newspapers) prefers to gloss it over and manipulate polls for their current political agenda. And independent sources and  even  LGBTAQ+ sources would also intentionally or simply because of non-random sampling bend data, so I don't really know how to tell without analizing every particular poll and it's method. 

From my personal experience, yes, people here are homophobic (or it is more acceptable to publically express homophobic attitude). 30% for same sex marriage, for example, seems believable. But I think that large proportion of population is misinformed about these new homophobic laws of the past years (like anti-propaganda laws are presented as protecting children from pornography ). It also would depend on the region, social position, education, etc.

I'd say most people here don't approve of samesex marriage, don't understand and don't approve pride parades, and would very much prefer the "don't ask-don't tell" policy, but wouldn't approve of violence or media censorship (although the latter likely because they wouldn't want to miss their new hipster movie). And lots of people are just apathetic. 

But I also don't have anything to compare it with, because I've never lived in another countries.

 

[Sivin]

Well, with any luck by March of 2018 I'll either be able to look in the mirror and see myself as I quit my job and go to school full time, or I'll swallow a handful of Vicodin or something (I don't want to leave a mess behind).

That's right, I'm getting ready to start hormones, hopefully as soon as next month, though realistically probably gonna be in late April. I've got appointments at the V.A. for my Primary Care Provider and Mental Health Provider next month. I had discussed with my previous providers in Indiana my desire to transition and they basically gave me the green light to start hormones, but I was trying to find a job and had to move for said job.

Now I'm in fucking Tennessee, so I'm looking forward to seeing if the Dr. looks at me like I'm a fucking mutant when I tell him I want to start hormones. Already got a nice -polite- speech planned ouft to make clear that I have no problem if he needs to send me to a more trans-friendly Dr (if such a thing exists in a place like this...) And I really won't have a problem with it. I've been following you guys for years, long before I even came out on this board a few years back, and you guys strike me as activist-types and I think that's awesome. But I don't want to deal with any bullshit if it can be avoided. I just want my hormones and a Dr. who won't sabotage me.

So yeah, gonna see the grand (totally trustworthy) V.A. next month and I'm saying fuck it, I'm going deep with my life. I'm tired of living like this, tired of hiding and whatnot. Tired of being sad about who I'm not.

I know I'll never be a 5 foot pixie of a girl who gets carried romantically through doorways, but I'm actually a bit optimistic. On Reddit (of all places) I found a number of women who were tall like me and have transitioned quite effectively. With the diet I plan to implement, a responsible waist-training regimen, and lots and lots of practice with makeup... I think I can be happy with the girl who comes out on the other side. 

I've already been practicing my voice with my roommate, and he says it "sounds fine. It's a woman's voice". I'm not convinced. When I listen to it recorded, I think it sounds like a cross between a woman, me, and a soft-spoken homosexual version of me, so I need to keep working on that and find a way to test it more effectively. He says the way I sound in the recording is not what he hears, but... It's not that I don't trust him... It's just that, well, I'm paranoid. I don't want to be beaten to death after having let estrogen eat away at my muscles for 2 years. To his credit though, he told me I should be a blonde, which I think is a great idea. If I get someone who knows such things to teach me how to style my hair in a way that frames my face favorably, it could help me pass, I think.

So diet, waist-training, makeup, voice, and hair. I have timelines for what I'd like to accomplish when for each of those, including electrolysis, which will probably be a major scheduling pain with my new job but not unmanageable.

So yeah, I hope to start hormones by the end of April, and 24 months or less from then I should be ready to go to college full time with a fucking lot of money in my pocket and my GI bill still unused. Brighter days ahead, I hope. And you guys have given me hope and courage over the years. Thank you.

[TerraPrime]

Congratulations on taking such an important step. I hope things will go well for you, or as well as anything this arduous can be.

If you haven't considered it yet or if you don't have one yet, may I suggest that you look for a trans-supportive counselor with experience in working with clients who are undergoing transitioning? This process is not easy at the best of times, and having a counselor who is supportive and who cam help you in the process can be very helpful.

Best of luck and keep us posted if you can.

 

*hugs*

[karaddin]

I'm glad to hear you are progressing things, but the attitude of the doctor is awful to deal with. Your room mate sounds helpful and supportive though so that's excellent.

On the facial hair front, if your skin is pale and the hairs dark I'd try get rid of the bulk of it with laser before turning to electrolysis as it's faster, cheaper and less painful. You can also start on that as soon as you can afford it.

I hope over time you get more comfortable with your voice, I find we can be a lot more sensitive and paranoid about it than is needed. I put far more scrutiny on my voice than on any cis girls voice. Speech patterns etc are actually more important than pitch for the way your voice is read and if you keep working at it, it will change over time.

[Sivin]

6 hours ago, TerraPrime said:

Congratulations on taking such an important step. I hope things will go well for you, or as well as anything this arduous can be.

If you haven't considered it yet or if you don't have one yet, may I suggest that you look for a trans-supportive counselor with experience in working with clients who are undergoing transitioning? This process is not easy at the best of times, and having a counselor who is supportive and who cam help you in the process can be very helpful.

Best of luck and keep us posted if you can.

 

*hugs*

Thanks. I don't think I'll have time for a trans-specific counselor, as I will be out of town Monday through Friday every week and I'll need the Saturday for Dr.s appointments and electrolysis.

2 hours ago, karaddin said:

I'm glad to hear you are progressing things, but the attitude of the doctor is awful to deal with. Your room mate sounds helpful and supportive though so that's excellent.

On the facial hair front, if your skin is pale and the hairs dark I'd try get rid of the bulk of it with laser before turning to electrolysis as it's faster, cheaper and less painful. You can also start on that as soon as you can afford it.

I hope over time you get more comfortable with your voice, I find we can be a lot more sensitive and paranoid about it than is needed. I put far more scrutiny on my voice than on any cis girls voice. Speech patterns etc are actually more important than pitch for the way your voice is read and if you keep working at it, it will change over time.

I need to pick your brain on a number of things if you're willing to indulge, but let's start with the facial hair. I was given to understand that laser removal wasn't permanent? I will be able to afford electrolysis (scheduling will be the issue), and my research suggests that it takes as much as 400 hours of treatment to completely clear the facial hair. I intended to start on that as soon as humanly possible. What's the benefit of laser removal in this situation?

[karaddin]

Laser is semi-permanent, some of the hair comes back but I got rid of about 90% of mine with laser (and deal with what remains by shaving every second day - electrolysis is too painful for me). It took probably 12-15 rounds of laser (at 5-10minutes per session) to achieve that reduction, and I've had another 3-6 sessions maintaining it.  It's been almost 18 months since I last had it, and I have had a little come back to the point it does bother me and I need to arrange another, but its actually still a very small amount...I'm just very paranoid and bothered by it.  At my best just after surgery I had almost no hair growth and went over a week without shaving.

Even if you only went for 6 sessions you would probably achieve ~80% reduction in hair, and the stuff that goes the easiest is the stuff that goes permanently. It's the stubborn hair that takes the most sessions to get rid of and that's the same hair that comes back.

So the benefit of the laser is that over say 3-6 months (session every 2-4 weeks) you get rid of 75% of the hair with only 1hour of time on the laser table (lowballing efficacy and taking the 10minutes per session rather than 5) leaving you with 100hours of electrolysis instead of 400.  It does hurt, but if I can tolerate it then it doesn't hurt too bad and the pain fades in seconds from each zap rather than being sustained.

Now results do vary due to skin tone, hair colour etc, but the biggest cause of variation is probably the laser being used.  People who have gone to cheap clinics that use lesser lasers, or especially if its not a laser at all but instead IPL, do have less permanent results.  IPL in particular just stunts it for a year or two from what I've read.  I went to an expensive clinic in the middle of sydney with the top grade laser for pale skin tones, which is the GentleLase Candela Alexandrite laser.  For darker skin tones I believe the laser is a LightSheer Diode laser.  I wouldnt recommend bothering with IPL, but if you have a good place available it's definitely worth it from my experience.

Disclaimer: My hair was light to begin with, so getting to 90% rather than 80% may be more important if you have more baseline hair.

ETA: And happy to answer any more questions I have the answers to!

[Xray the Enforcer]

Good luck in your journey Sivin!

[Sivin]

39 minutes ago, karaddin said:

Laser is semi-permanent, some of the hair comes back but I got rid of about 90% of mine with laser (and deal with what remains by shaving every second day - electrolysis is too painful for me). It took probably 12-15 rounds of laser (at 5-10minutes per session) to achieve that reduction, and I've had another 3-6 sessions maintaining it.  It's been almost 18 months since I last had it, and I have had a little come back to the point it does bother me and I need to arrange another, but its actually still a very small amount...I'm just very paranoid and bothered by it.  At my best just after surgery I had almost no hair growth and went over a week without shaving.

Even if you only went for 6 sessions you would probably achieve ~80% reduction in hair, and the stuff that goes the easiest is the stuff that goes permanently. It's the stubborn hair that takes the most sessions to get rid of and that's the same hair that comes back.

So the benefit of the laser is that over say 3-6 months (session every 2-4 weeks) you get rid of 75% of the hair with only 1hour of time on the laser table (lowballing efficacy and taking the 10minutes per session rather than 5) leaving you with 100hours of electrolysis instead of 400.  It does hurt, but if I can tolerate it then it doesn't hurt too bad and the pain fades in seconds from each zap rather than being sustained.

Now results do vary due to skin tone, hair colour etc, but the biggest cause of variation is probably the laser being used.  People who have gone to cheap clinics that use lesser lasers, or especially if its not a laser at all but instead IPL, do have less permanent results.  IPL in particular just stunts it for a year or two from what I've read.  I went to an expensive clinic in the middle of sydney with the top grade laser for pale skin tones, which is the GentleLase Candela Alexandrite laser.  For darker skin tones I believe the laser is a LightSheer Diode laser.  I wouldnt recommend bothering with IPL, but if you have a good place available it's definitely worth it from my experience.

Disclaimer: My hair was light to begin with, so getting to 90% rather than 80% may be more important if you have more baseline hair.

ETA: And happy to answer any more questions I have the answers to!

I appreciate the technical details very much, thank you. I have a very dark and thick beard (not half bad looking to be honest), so to be clear you're saying I should do the laser to clear up for electrolysis?

As for other questions, I've got some specific inquiries about being post-op (you're about a year, right?), timeline for effects, and of course boobs. Of course there's a host of other questions from proper skin and hair care to things like disclosure, but those questions will come in due time. If you're willing to answer said questions but would prefer to have those conversations via PM, lemme know. And obviously thank you in advance.

21 minutes ago, Xray the Enforcer said:

Good luck in your journey Sivin!

Thanks

[karaddin]

Yeah, I would definitely at least try a few rounds of laser to try clear up the less stubborn hair and reduce how much electrolysis is needed *if* there is a good laser place available.

As for other questions, yup - shoot through a PM whenever you need.  I don't know that my answers on boobs will be particularly helpful as I'm an outlier on the lots of growth side of things, and from how tender/sore theyve been in the last week they are growing again after over 3 years on hormones (which is also unusual).

[Robin Of House Hill]

Sivin,

Congrats on the progress you're making. Since I transitioned in "prehistoric" times (laser was in its infancy), and went the electrolysis only route (200+ hours), I might not be much of a resource on the subject of facial hair removal. Similarly, the science of endocrinology has advanced since then, as well, so karaddin has more information, there. I do, however, have a lot of experience in being tall. [emoji3]

I don't know about the VA in your state, but do know that a number of VA centers do have transgender programs, so they might actually be helpful.

If I can be of any help, just ask.

[karaddin]

On the hormones side of things (since Robin prompted :p) the big thing to try ensure is that you end up on bioidentical estrogen (and progesterone if that happens). Most of the side defects of HRT in the infamous 2002 study were actually due to the synthetic hormones in the study not being bioidentical.

Delivery method - transdermal estrogen is definitely better than oral, eliminating the liver pass through eliminates the blood clot risk.  I've actually got an implant in my butt now and that's amazing. I'm not sure whether it has the clot risk as it's use is very limited so it's not in the studies, but I've heard it is more potent in terms of feminising effect. It's also super convenient. The theory on why it does that is that human growth hormone (iirc, was definitely a growth hormone) is a vital component of the body changes. If estrogen spikes too high in the liver it actually harms the growth hormone levels in the body, and the hormone profile from oral estrogen results in a brief massive spike doing just this. Estrogen levels from an implant however sit in the sweet spot 24/7. Transdermal would be better than oral if this is right but still not as good as implant.

[Sivin]

I didn't even know there was a transdermal option... What's the implantation method?

I'd been expecting to fight for intravenous, as I've heard good things about injection over oral, but transdermal has me quite interested.

 

17 hours ago, Robin Of House Hill said:

Sivin,

Congrats on the progress you're making. Since I transitioned in "prehistoric" times (laser was in its infancy), and went the electrolysis only route (200+ hours), I might not be much of a resource on the subject of facial hair removal. Similarly, the science of endocrinology has advanced since then, as well, so karaddin has more information, there. I do, however, have a lot of experience in being tall.

I don't know about the VA in your state, but do know that a number of VA centers do have transgender programs, so they might actually be helpful.

If I can be of any help, just ask.

How do you know so much about stuff? Aren't you like Canadian?

I know that the V.A. has to treat me, and I'm prepared to spout off regulations as/if needed to ensure my proper care, but what of these 'transgender programs' you speak of? Are you referring to their compulsion to treat me or something else?

To be completely honest, I'm not much of the 'group' type, and that includes support groups. If that's what you're describing.

[Robin Of House Hill]

I didn't even know there was a transdermal option... What's the implantation method?

I'd been expecting to fight for intravenous, as I've heard good things about injection over oral, but transdermal has me quite interested.

 

Sivin,

Congrats on the progress you're making. Since I transitioned in "prehistoric" times (laser was in its infancy), and went the electrolysis only route (200+ hours), I might not be much of a resource on the subject of facial hair removal. Similarly, the science of endocrinology has advanced since then, as well, so karaddin has more information, there. I do, however, have a lot of experience in being tall. [emoji3]

I don't know about the VA in your state, but do know that a number of VA centers do have transgender programs, so they might actually be helpful.

If I can be of any help, just ask.

How do you know so much about stuff? Aren't you like Canadian? [emoji14]

I know that the V.A. has to treat me, and I'm prepared to spout off regulations as/if needed to ensure my proper care, but what of these 'transgender programs' you speak of? Are you referring to their compulsion to treat me or something else?

To be completely honest, I'm not much of the 'group' type, and that includes support groups. If that's what you're describing.

LOL. Unless Canada annexed Arizona, not Canadian. To be honest, while I've heard these programs mentioned by friends on Facebook and seen articles on the web, I haven't paid much attention to the details since I didn't know anyone who might have need of them. I believe I know someone who knows of them and can inquire.

ETA: looks like I screwed up the quote function, using tapatalk on my phone.

ETA2: I happened to spot this. Don't know if there is anything similar near you

http://m.tucson.com/news/tucson-va-launches-clinic-for-transgender-veterans/article_69a93024-f314-50e0-8c49-e3e476df0c5b.html?mobile_touch=true

[Dr. Pepper]

Robin is talking about the standalone clinics for transgender vets available at a couple of VA hospitals.  There's one in Tuscon and one in Cleveland and there might be one or two others elsewhere in the country.  For the most part, though, you'd be going through the primary care provider you are assigned to.  Most VA centers will likely have some sort of speciality primary care unit, like women's clinics (I've found these to be the best and I'm hopeful you can access these).  

Reading through your comments, Sivin, I'm a bit concerned about your plan to schedule doctor appointments on Saturdays only.  The VA already has a problem retaining doctors so in perfect circumstances, you're likely to have a change in primary care doctors frequently anyway.  You're almost certain to not have the same doctor each visit if you only go Saturdays (and that's assuming your assigned primary care clinic is even open on Saturdays).  

You may have already worked all this out so this advice would be moot, but I'd really recommend seeing if you can adjust the days of the week you can visit the doctor.  If you haven't done so already, get assigned to a primary care clinic and doctor as soon as possible.  **This is the person who will be the gatekeeper to your access for everything in the VA health care system and you might need to try out more than one doctor before you find one you click with.  My personal opinion is that in the long run, it's better to have a doctor who isn't going to require you to inform them of the regulations every time you try to access care.  

ETA:**sorry, just reread your post and saw you've already been assigned to a PCP.