Lily Valley Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 Trampoline gym! WOW! Interesting that you are noting the physical changes. I'm glad to hear you had fun. I've been thinking a lot about sexuality and identity lately. Stuff is brewing and I'm putting my thoughts together. In the meantime, I stumbled across this article and wanted to post it for my bi / queer pals here. This is a phenomenon I have definitely noticed about my own body image. I wondered if anyone else felt more body conscious when dating men than when dating women. https://medium.com/@emmalindsay/why-does-dating-men-make-me-feel-like-shit-12c25e539021#.vsmfjblrj Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ljkeane Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 25 minutes ago, Lily Valley said: https://medium.com/@emmalindsay/why-does-dating-men-make-me-feel-like-shit-12c25e539021#.vsmfjblrj Er, I'm not particularly convinced by that article. I can't speak to whether people are more body conscious when dating men or not but she seems to be building her whole theory on the assumption that most men consider their sexuality 'creepy' or something to be ashamed of. I can't say that's my opinion and I can't remember any of my male friends ever expressing anything like that sentiment so I'm not sure it's ubiquitous. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karaddin Posted February 22, 2017 Share Posted February 22, 2017 I think you're getting far too bogged down in the word and missing the argument then. I'm not sure if creepy is the right word for the majority, but the ideas behind what she's saying certainly ring true for a lot of what I know. Do you disagree that men feel ashamed for dating/fucking/being attracted to someone 'unattractive'? Or that at the very least society attempts to shame them for this, even if they don't feel it? I mean the only reason larger women are a 'fetish' in porn etc is because society has declared them conventionally unattractive, thus being attracted to their bodies is transgressive. Its one of the things I love in queer feminist porn, that it actively pushes back on all that shit and is just people of diverse bodies fucking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ljkeane Posted February 22, 2017 Share Posted February 22, 2017 11 hours ago, karaddin said: I think you're getting far too bogged down in the word and missing the argument then. I'm not sure if creepy is the right word for the majority, but the ideas behind what she's saying certainly ring true for a lot of what I know. Do you disagree that men feel ashamed for dating/fucking/being attracted to someone 'unattractive'? I don't think I am. Leaving aside the term 'creepy' the foundation of her argument is the assumption that men, or a sufficiently significant enough majority of men such that you can generalize it to all men, are ashamed of their sexuality or feelings of sexual attraction and that's just not my experience or the impression I get of the men I know. And no, I don't really agree that most men feel ashamed about their relationships with people who aren't conventionally very 'attractive'. Unsurprisingly I know a fair number of men who are in relationships with people who are, to some degree or another, overweight, as an example that might fall outside the strict parameters of society's definition of attractive. I wouldn't say I get the feeling that any of them are ashamed of their relationship. I appreciate my disagreement with the article is based on anecdotal evidence but 'you should go ahead and assume that most men feel like they are creepy for getting turned on' is a pretty big assumption to make and I think the author kinda needs a bit more to go on than having spoken to a few guys herself to base it on. 11 hours ago, karaddin said: Or that at the very least society attempts to shame them for this, even if they don't feel it? I mean the only reason larger women are a 'fetish' in porn etc is because society has declared them conventionally unattractive, thus being attracted to their bodies is transgressive. Don't get me wrong. There are obviously societal pressures to conform with certain definitions of what is good looking and there are almost certainly some men who are uncomfortable with their sexuality because of that. I expect that could contribute, as well as the societal pressures themselves, to body shame issues some people suffer from. I'm just not really convinced it's something you can extrapolate to all/most men or that there's the distinction between how men and women express their sexual urges she tries to make (describing people as hot etc.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sivin Posted March 10, 2017 Share Posted March 10, 2017 I have collected a rather extensive amount of makeup but have no idea what to do with it. Anyone have any you tubes they can recommend for application? I have literally no experience or understanding of the art. I've identified a young woman's video in which she explains exhaustively how she applies her own effects but thought I'd ask the board as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lily Valley Posted March 10, 2017 Share Posted March 10, 2017 3 hours ago, WinterFox said: I have collected a rather extensive amount of makeup but have no idea what to do with it. Anyone have any you tubes they can recommend for application? I have literally no experience or understanding of the art. I've identified a young woman's video in which she explains exhaustively how she applies her own effects but thought I'd ask the board as well. We need our own very beautiful and make-up fun loving @Theda Baratheon for this one! Her look is definitely influenced by late 80's and early 90's punk, but I don't know anyone else on the board who enjoys make-up as much. Theda, got any good vids? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theda Baratheon Posted March 10, 2017 Share Posted March 10, 2017 5 hours ago, Lily Valley said: We need our own very beautiful and make-up fun loving @Theda Baratheon for this one! Her look is definitely influenced by late 80's and early 90's punk, but I don't know anyone else on the board who enjoys make-up as much. Theda, got any good vids? Thank you for thinking of me! I'm actually not too skilled myself and ice recently bought some new makeup after using the same stuff for years lol ! @WinterFox- I am sure I have lots of youtubers who do makeup lists I'm subscribed to - what kind of looks do you enjoy/ want to go for? Like lily said I'm into punky / cute gothy looks always with EYELINER WINGS <3 <3 but I would suggest focusing on some pretty eyeshadow colours first but practise with eyeliner wings they're surprisingly easy when you get the practise in! I will find you some vids!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xray the Enforcer Posted March 10, 2017 Share Posted March 10, 2017 Hi @WinterFox -- Lisa Eldridge does some really good tutorials. She covers all kinds of looks, so you can perfect something generally easy first, before you get into shit like liquid eyeliner, which requires a ton of practice and a good working knowledge of how makeup works with your face. Start with the Basics and then Everyday Looks. http://www.lisaeldridge.com/video/ (FWIW, I tend to go for dramatic/garish makeup, although for most days at work I just wear mascara and lipstick that is usually some glorious neon hue. I save the eyeshadow stuff for special occasions because it can sometimes irritate my eyes) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lily Valley Posted March 10, 2017 Share Posted March 10, 2017 @Xray the Enforcer Danm! I should have tagged you too! @WinterFox The board's make-up thread is a GREAT place for advice on products. Hanging out in there can be hard on the pocket book. :glares at Xray: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xray the Enforcer Posted March 10, 2017 Share Posted March 10, 2017 I had a totally awkward discussion with our VP of HR yesterday. I mean, it wasn't bad or anything (dude is a gay man living in NYC, so he's aware that there's a whole spectrum of things out there), but we were discussing some things and the concept of "gender outlaws" came up. He asked me how I identified, and I almost said "multi-gendered meat robot" but I thought that would make me look really fucking weird so I just said "multi-gender" and now I'm wondering if saying that shit out loud makes me sound insane. He took it in stride, so props to him. hahaha. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xray the Enforcer Posted March 10, 2017 Share Posted March 10, 2017 1 hour ago, Lily Valley said: @Xray the Enforcer Danm! I should have tagged you too! @WinterFox The board's make-up thread is a GREAT place for advice on products. Hanging out in there can be hard on the pocket book. :glares at Xray: I am unrepentant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theda Baratheon Posted March 10, 2017 Share Posted March 10, 2017 25 minutes ago, Xray the Enforcer said: I had a totally awkward discussion with our VP of HR yesterday. I mean, it wasn't bad or anything (dude is a gay man living in NYC, so he's aware that there's a whole spectrum of things out there), but we were discussing some things and the concept of "gender outlaws" came up. He asked me how I identified, and I almost said "multi-gendered meat robot" but I thought that would make me look really fucking weird so I just said "multi-gender" and now I'm wondering if saying that shit out loud makes me sound insane. He took it in stride, so props to him. hahaha. If someone said that to me I would love them even more lol It doesn't make you sound insane Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TerraPrime Posted March 10, 2017 Author Share Posted March 10, 2017 35 minutes ago, Xray the Enforcer said: I had a totally awkward discussion with our VP of HR yesterday. I mean, it wasn't bad or anything (dude is a gay man living in NYC, so he's aware that there's a whole spectrum of things out there), but we were discussing some things and the concept of "gender outlaws" came up. He asked me how I identified, and I almost said "multi-gendered meat robot" but I thought that would make me look really fucking weird so I just said "multi-gender" and now I'm wondering if saying that shit out loud makes me sound insane. He took it in stride, so props to him. hahaha. He probably Googled it after the meeting lol. But mad props for sharing the truth of your identity. :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theda Baratheon Posted March 10, 2017 Share Posted March 10, 2017 Yep totally Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robin Of House Hill Posted March 10, 2017 Share Posted March 10, 2017 I would think that a VP of HR would know the potential legal ramifications of asking such a question. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sivin Posted March 10, 2017 Share Posted March 10, 2017 Just popping in quick before an appointment. I don't really know what look I want. Normal, I guess? Thanks for the responses, will return later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xray the Enforcer Posted March 10, 2017 Share Posted March 10, 2017 3 hours ago, Robin Of House Hill said: I would think that a VP of HR would know the potential legal ramifications of asking such a question. Oh, for sure. For some context: He and I are part of our organization's diversity, equity, and inclusion program, so he has prior knowledge of my non-binary status and also my bisexuality, because I volunteered that information to the group when we formed it. As such, his query was part of an already-consented-to ongoing conversation. But yes, your comment is a good reminder to everyone that there are very good reasons not to ask or volunteer that information in situations where it can be harmful to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xray the Enforcer Posted March 10, 2017 Share Posted March 10, 2017 4 hours ago, WinterFox said: Just popping in quick before an appointment. I don't really know what look I want. Normal, I guess? Thanks for the responses, will return later. Cool. You might want to find some photos of makeup looks you like and post links here or in the makeup thread. We can then direct you to the relevant tutorials. Here's one for the basic "no-makeup makeup look" which works really well for pretty much every occasion. http://www.lisaeldridge.com/video/17770/no-make-up-look-tutorial/#.WMM2DhIrJmA Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robin Of House Hill Posted March 10, 2017 Share Posted March 10, 2017 1 hour ago, Xray the Enforcer said: Oh, for sure. For some context: He and I are part of our organization's diversity, equity, and inclusion program, so he has prior knowledge of my non-binary status and also my bisexuality, because I volunteered that information to the group when we formed it. As such, his query was part of an already-consented-to ongoing conversation. But yes, your comment is a good reminder to everyone that there are very good reasons not to ask or volunteer that information in situations where it can be harmful to you. That makes a difference from a legal standpoint. Considering the current political and social climate. I wouldn't share such information with anyone in real life. If fact, if I had known in 2013, what the world would be like today, I'd have kept my mouth shut on this board. I don't even share such information about myself with my doctor, despite the fact that the medical group she's with has on their patient data form: Male, Female, Male (FtM), Female (MtF), and Intersex. I checked "Female." There is no medical condition that I require treatment for, that anything else would be relevant. If she should ever hint at anything, I will not confirm it. I'll then find another way to obtain the medication I require. I don't trust HIPAA to guarantee my privacy. Yep, I know that no one agrees. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manhole Eunuchsbane Posted March 10, 2017 Share Posted March 10, 2017 7 minutes ago, Robin Of House Hill said: Yep, I know that no one agrees. Eh, the only real issue I have with that is that I'd hope you'd have a close enough relationship with your doc to divulge that. That said, I can understand why you might not dependent upon that relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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