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AFFC=A Feast of Burns


Abdallah

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I've officially finished reading a Feast for Crows and it seems to me that the best part of this book is all the burns that take place. I don't know who got it worse, Cersei or the Freys? Heres all the burns i can remember please add some if u see some i missed.

Burn 1.

Cersei: "Rule? I said naught of ruling. I shall rule until my son comes of age."

Jaime: "I don't know who I pity more, Tommen, or the Seven Kingdoms"

Pity me the most Jaime, the rest of the Lannister fans and I had to read how this idiot destroyed the Lannister dynasty while all we could is read about it.

Burn 2.

Cersei: The King is My Son!

Kevan: Aye, and from what I saw of Joffrey, you are as unfit a mother as you are a ruler.

Kevan Lannister never lie.

Burn 3 (kinda)

Cersei: You would abandon Tommen?

Kevan: Tommen has his mother. Aye, and his father too, I think. 

Ouch, just ouch

Burn 4

(Lyn Cobray pulls out his sword on Littlefinger)

Bronze Yohn Royce: Put up your steel Ser! Are you a Corbray or a Frey? We are guests here.

this one burnt the freys and they weren't even present. 

Burn 5

Jon Myre: This girl forgets herslf, Balon let her believe she was a man.

Asha: Your father made the same mistake with you.

Comeback of the century. 

Burn 6. 

Edwyn: He....my father has a bad belly, my lord. Red wine helps with his digestion.

Daven: He must be digesting a bloody mammoth.

C'mon GRRM let Daven live, he burns the freys well.

Burn 7

Asshole Edwyn: If my lord of Piper means to imply-"

Piper: I don't imply, Frey. I say what I mean straight out, like an honest man. But what would you know of the ways of honest men? You're a treacherous lying weasel, like all your kin. I'd sooner drink a pint of piss than take the word of any Frey.

I love Piper

Burn 8

Edwyn: Traitors and rebels all, you mean.

Jaime gave him a cold look. "The Twins took up the Young Wolf's cause as well," he reminded the Freys. "Then you betrayed him. That makes you twice as treacherous as Piper." He enjoyed seeing Edwyn's thin smile curdle up and die.

Thank God Jamie burnt Edwyn, i hate Edwyn so much.

Burn 9

Ryman's girl: Lady? I'm no lady. I'm the Queen.

Jaime: My Sister will be suprised to hear that.

Girl: Lord Ryman crowned me his very self. I'm the queen o'whores.

No, Jaime thought, my sweet sister holds that title too.

Too bad Jaime couldn't just say that. 

Burn 10

Sybell: You want a Westerling to wed a bastard?

Jaime: No more than I want Joy to marry the son of some scheming turncloak bitch. She deserves better. Your daughter is worth ten of you, my lady.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Asha is the Queen of Burns in this book:

"I am unwed," announced Left-Hand Lucas Codd.

"And for good reason," Asha said. "All women do despise the Codds as well. Don't look at me so mournful, Lucas. You still have your famous hand." She made a pumping motion with her fist.

Codd cursed, till the Crow's Eye put a hand upon his chest. "Was that courteous, Asha? You have wounded Lucas to the quick."

"Easier than wounding him in the prick. I throw an axe as well as any man, but when the target is so small . . ."

And:

Asha: "You all know me."

Random dick: "I'd like to know you better!"

Asha: "Go home and meet your wife!" (Paraphrasing)

And the Blackfish almost makes Jaime cry like a little girl:

"You must be blind as well as maimed, Ser."

"You always disappoint, Kingslayer."

 

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4 minutes ago, Good Guy Garlan said:

Asha is the Queen of Burns in this book:

"I am unwed," announced Left-Hand Lucas Codd.

"And for good reason," Asha said. "All women do despise the Codds as well. Don't look at me so mournful, Lucas. You still have your famous hand." She made a pumping motion with her fist.

Codd cursed, till the Crow's Eye put a hand upon his chest. "Was that courteous, Asha? You have wounded Lucas to the quick."

"Easier than wounding him in the prick. I throw an axe as well as any man, but when the target is so small . . ."

And:

Asha: "You all know me."

Random dick: "I'd like to know you better!"

Asha: "Go home and meet your wife!" (Paraphrasing)

And the Blackfish almost makes Jaime cry like a little girl:

"You must be blind as well as maimed, Ser."

"You always disappoint, Kingslayer."

 

I knew i was light on the Asha burns. Blackfish is a badass. Still jaime was trying to give him good terms. 

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