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WTF Moments


John Suburbs

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I know not everyone in the story is a genius, but sometimes I just scratch my head and wonder what the plan was.

A case in point is the wine merchant who tries to poison Dany. Either the poison was fast-acting and she would have dropped dead right at his feet, at which point he would be taken by her bloodriders to Khal Drogo, or it would have been longer acting and she would have died later that day. But then, how could he claim the reward? Who would believe that it was his poison and not someone else's, or just a natural occurrence? Very bad planning.

But the top prize goes to Doran Martell: send your kid halfway around the world with a moldy piece of paper that says her dead older brother was to marry his old sister and this is somehow going to convince Dany that she needs to marry Quent and race her and her dragons back to Dorne? Serious?

Any others?

 

 

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Literally everything Doran Martell does. His plans could (kind of) work in an ideal world, but he never actually does the practical stuff needed to make them a reality, which is just baffling.

Stannis not bothering to see what happened to the rest of Renly's troops before marching on King's Landing. I get that he was in a rush and assumed his envoys would bring them over, but why would not be certain before leaving your impregnable stronghold and risking the army you just acquired?

Ned telling Cersei about his plans. As honor-obsessed as Ned is, he's a good battle tactician. Why would telling your enemy your battle plans not encourage them to outflank you?

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7 minutes ago, Raisin' Bran said:

Ned confronting Cersei about her little illegitimates.

The more you think about this the dumber it is.

Ned is the Hand of the King, and by extension responsible for the running of the Baratheon rule. Once Ned found out that there was a legitimate threat to Robert's line of succession (Joffery is not a Baratheon), and that the Queen, and LC of the King's Guard were traitors then the first thing he should have done is sequester the King to keep him safe (his King's Guard has been compromised and his wife has access to his bed) and have them all arrested. The FIRST THING

instead, he pussy foots around, warns the Queen (who's family is the MOST POWERFUL family in Westeros) and generally fucks everything up.

 

Damn it Ned, you are a doofus.

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21 minutes ago, King Viserys Targaryen IV said:

The more you think about this the dumber it is.

Ned is the Hand of the King, and by extension responsible for the running of the Baratheon rule. Once Ned found out that there was a legitimate threat to Robert's line of succession (Joffery is not a Baratheon), and that the Queen, and LC of the King's Guard were traitors then the first thing he should have done is sequester the King to keep him safe (his King's Guard has been compromised and his wife has access to his bed) and have them all arrested. The FIRST THING

instead, he pussy foots around, warns the Queen (who's family is the MOST POWERFUL family in Westeros) and generally fucks everything up.

 

Damn it Ned, you are a doofus.

I agree but also must commend you on your use of pussy foots. It made me smile.

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Catelyn's plan to send Jaime back to Tyrion in return for her girls. I know she was grieving the "deaths" of Bran and Rickon, but there were so many ways that plan could go wrong. 

Jon distancing himself from all of his friends and allies at the Wall. I wanted to scream at him for the way he was interpreting Ned's wisdom on a lord not being friends with his men as needing to get rid of the only people he could really trust. When so many of your men openly object to most of the things you're doing, you need to have some supporters in the mix, or you'll end up exactly like Jon ended up.

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Arya wasting her wishes on two unimportant people.

Robert Baratheon not executing Littlefinger, Varys and Pycelle.

Tyrion not executing Littlefinger, Varys and Pycelle.

Jaime telling Tyrion about Tysha immediately after he rescued him from prison.

Cersei re-arming the religious nuts.

Stannis killing Renly.

Tyrion killing Tywin.

Mance not executing Jon.

Qhorin taking Jon with him on the ranging.

Jeor Mormont's Great Ranging Expedition.

Jon sending Aemon away.

Dany allowing people to sell themselves into slavery.

 

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Every single thing Daenerys does between the point where she is able to make decisions (basically, Drogo's injury) through flying off on Drogon. 

Oberyn basically having won the duel against Gregor, then (as if he's somehow been studying Monologue Moments for Dummies) just HAVING to go back for that one last word. 

Cat.  Just pretty much like Dany, everything she thinks is a great idea should be avoided at all costs. 

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6 minutes ago, LadyoftheNorth72 said:

Every single thing Daenerys does between the point where she is able to make decisions (basically, Drogo's injury) through flying off on Drogon. 

Oberyn basically having won the duel against Gregor, then (as if he's somehow been studying Monologue Moments for Dummies) just HAVING to go back for that one last word. 

Cat.  Just pretty much like Dany, everything she thinks is a great idea should be avoided at all costs. 

I was going to talk about the Oberyn / Gregor moment but you nailed it wonderfully... made me laugh !

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6 minutes ago, LadyoftheNorth72 said:

Every single thing Daenerys does between the point where she is able to make decisions (basically, Drogo's injury) through flying off on Drogon. 

Oberyn basically having won the duel against Gregor, then (as if he's somehow been studying Monologue Moments for Dummies) just HAVING to go back for that one last word. 

Cat.  Just pretty much like Dany, everything she thinks is a great idea should be avoided at all costs. 

I was going to talk about the Oberyn / Gregor moment but you nailed it wonderfully... made me laugh !

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The Oberyn/Mountain deal was just like when people point guns at others in movies, but stand close enough for Bourne or whoever to snatch them out of their hands.  Bullets shoot very far very fast, and you can yell at someone just as effectively from far away.  Stay out of arm's reach dummies.  It's like you're just trying to advance the plot or something.

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2 hours ago, King Viserys Targaryen IV said:

The more you think about this the dumber it is.

Ned is the Hand of the King, and by extension responsible for the running of the Baratheon rule. Once Ned found out that there was a legitimate threat to Robert's line of succession (Joffery is not a Baratheon), and that the Queen, and LC of the King's Guard were traitors then the first thing he should have done is sequester the King to keep him safe (his King's Guard has been compromised and his wife has access to his bed) and have them all arrested. The FIRST THING

instead, he pussy foots around, warns the Queen (who's family is the MOST POWERFUL family in Westeros) and generally fucks everything up.

 

Damn it Ned, you are a doofus.;

PTSD (protect the children!) and the fact he is completely disillusioned with his best friend ... it is just very sad.

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2 hours ago, The Mountain That Flies said:

Literally everything Doran Martell does. His plans could (kind of) work in an ideal world, but he never actually does the practical stuff needed to make them a reality, which is just baffling.

Stannis not bothering to see what happened to the rest of Renly's troops before marching on King's Landing. I get that he was in a rush and assumed his envoys would bring them over, but why would not be certain before leaving your impregnable stronghold and risking the army you just acquired?

Ned telling Cersei about his plans. As honor-obsessed as Ned is, he's a good battle tactician. Why would telling your enemy your battle plans not encourage them to outflank you?

The bold especially.  

Stannis does the same mistake when besieging Storm's End IIRC (that's why he has to waste the shadowbaby on Penrose) and is willing to do it again with Dreadfort until Jon Snow of all people calls him on the stupidity of his actions.

I don't begrudge Ned on giving Cersei and her children a chance to flee the first time. He had zero reason to expect Robert to die on the hunt and it was nice of him to try to spare their lives. However, seeing that Cersei ignored his advice should have been a massive red flag. Not taking her and her kids in custody once Robert died (and refusing Renly's help) was just beyond ridiculous. 

Tyrion having an amnesia regarding Littlefinger's responsibility for his near death experience in the Vale. 

Most of Rodrik Cassel's actions in ACoK.

 

 

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1 hour ago, RoamingRonin said:

Arya wasting her wishes on two unimportant people.

Robert Baratheon not executing Littlefinger, Varys and Pycelle.

Tyrion not executing Littlefinger, Varys and Pycelle.

Jaime telling Tyrion about Tysha immediately after he rescued him from prison.

Cersei re-arming the religious nuts.

Stannis killing Renly.

Tyrion killing Tywin.

Mance not executing Jon.

Qhorin taking Jon with him on the ranging.

Jeor Mormont's Great Ranging Expedition.

Jon sending Aemon away.

Dany allowing people to sell themselves into slavery.

 

Why would Robert have executed LF?

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14 minutes ago, Hangover of the Morning said:

The bold especially.  

Stannis does the same mistake when besieging Storm's End IIRC (that's why he has to waste the shadowbaby on Penrose) and is willing to do it again with Dreadfort until Jon Snow of all people calls him on the stupidity of his actions.

I don't begrudge Ned on giving Cersei and her children a chance to flee the first time. He had zero reason to expect Robert to die on the hunt and it was nice of him to try to spare their lives. However, seeing that Cersei ignored his advice should have been a massive red flag. Not taking her and her kids in custody once Robert died (and refusing Renly's help) was just beyond ridiculous. 

Tyrion having an amnesia regarding Littlefinger's responsibility for his near death experience in the Vale. 

Most of Rodrik Cassel's actions in ACoK.

 

 

In Tyrion's defense he did remember, he just gave vague reasons on why he would wait to move against Littlefinger (which I suppose is pretty bafflingly stupid in its own right since Tywin gave him full authority as acting Hand).

Spot on with Rodrick. I get that he was working with limited resources and intel, but the guy is supposed to be one of the best military minds in the North.

Your point on Ned is well taken, and thinking on it turning down Renly's was in fact way more absurd (especially since Stannis had actually hurt Ned's efforts by hiding on Dragonstone and Ned owed him nothing).

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3 hours ago, John Suburbs said:

I know not everyone in the story is a genius, but sometimes I just scratch my head and wonder what the plan was.

A case in point is the wine merchant who tries to poison Dany. Either the poison was fast-acting and she would have dropped dead right at his feet, at which point he would be taken by her bloodriders to Khal Drogo, or it would have been longer acting and she would have died later that day. But then, how could he claim the reward? Who would believe that it was his poison and not someone else's, or just a natural occurrence? Very bad planning.

But the top prize goes to Doran Martell: send your kid halfway around the world with a moldy piece of paper that says her dead older brother was to marry his old sister and this is somehow going to convince Dany that she needs to marry Quent and race her and her dragons back to Dorne? Serious?

Any others?

 

 

Actually, the wine merchant intended for her to the the poisoned wine back with her, presumably to share with Drogo...

“Rise,” Dany commanded him. “I would still like to taste that summerwine you spoke of.”

The man bounded to his feet. “That? Dornish swill. It is not worthy of a princess. I have a dry red from the Arbor, crisp and delectable. Please, let me give you a cask.”

Khal Drogo’s visits to the Free Cities had given him a taste for good wine, and Dany knew that such a noble vintage would please him. “You honor me, ser,” she murmured sweetly.

“The honor is mine.” The merchant rummaged about in the back of his stall and produced a small oaken cask. Burned into the wood was a cluster of grapes. “The Redwyne sigil,” he said, pointing, “for the Arbor. There is no finer drink.”

“Khal Drogo and I will share it together. Aggo, take this back to my litter, if you’d be so kind.” The wineseller beamed as the Dothraki hefted the cask.

She did not realize that Ser Jorah had returned until she heard the knight say, “No.” His voice was strange, brusque. “Aggo, put down that cask.”

Apparently, he got the idea from Varys...

"He stroked a powdered cheek. “Now, poison … the tears of Lys, let us say. Khal Drogo need never know it was not a natural death.”

And that makes sense since Varys did not want the assassination attempt to succeed. 

As to Doran's plan, it might have worked if she had received him in Qarth. 

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13 minutes ago, Lost Melnibonean said:

Actually, the wine merchant intended for her to the the poisoned wine back with her, presumably to share with Drogo...

 

 

Apparently, he got the idea from Varys...

 

 

And that makes sense since Varys did not want the assassination attempt to succeed. 

As to Doran's plan, it might have worked if she had received him in Qarth. 

Yes, but I can't believe Dany happened upon the only person that Varys put the word out to, or the only one who would use poison. So unless she drops right in front of him, sending her back with a crate of poisoned wine does him no good as far as getting the reward goes.

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Jaime telling Tyrion about Tysha. That was a new height in the realm of idiocy. And he didn't even release him out of guilt as he claimed.

Theon being sent home to be the Stark king's envoy.

Doran Martell sending Oberyn to KL. Sure, you told him to make no mischief and he promised. So far, so good. But dude, you actually trusted him to practice restraint why? Did he pinky swear or what?

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Catelyn letting her grief get the better of her and releasing and trusting in Jamie behind Robb's back severly undermining him.

Doran showing hes as big a coward as Walder Frey

Jon sending every single on of his friends away and leaving himself surrounded by strangers

People having a hardon for Rhaegar cause he was handsome even though he never did anything except ignite the war

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58 minutes ago, John Suburbs said:

Yes, but I can't believe Dany happened upon the only person that Varys put the word out to, or the only one who would use poison. So unless she drops right in front of him, sending her back with a crate of poisoned wine does him no good as far as getting the reward goes.

A plot device (plot mechanism) can be anything which moves the plot forward. A contrived or arbitrary plot device may annoy or confuse the reader, causing a loss of the suspension of disbelief.
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