How to deal with people not liking your (own life) decisions?

[Tears of Lys]

4 hours ago, larrytheimp said:

Great now we're all deprived of horror stories of your awful job at a call-center.  Thanks a lot, guy. 

Yeah - there's that too.  Damn it.   THANKS, FELGUY.   

OT, I hated this one job I had so much that I went to lunch and didn't come back.  Thinking back on it, it was a douche move on my part, but I felt justified at the time.  I felt physically ill the few hours I had to spend there. 

[litechick]

Quote

How can I make them see that I really made the right decision for myself here? Or is that useless?

It's useless.  People are people.  You are a person.  You have probably been on the other side of that coin, disapproving of someone else's decision.  Let it go. 

I also worked at a call center once.  I lasted at least 3-4 days but it made me feel dirty and I didn't need the money that bad.  I made a stand, bringing my supervisor into the office to tell him exactly why I thought what they were doing was crap.  He didn't convince me, I didn't convince him.  We parted ways and I have never given a crap.

I am reminded of a song lyric*.  "You're everything you dreamed you'd be.  What a civilized way to be angry."

The larger question of dealing with the judgement of others is more interesting than the small question of the call center.  All I can say is age, baby.  The older you get and the more shit you've seen, the easier it is to not give a crap when people doubt you.  The more you don't care, the more other people doubt themselves instead of you.  Does that make sense?  I think I'm talking about confidence.  Sometimes 'I don't care anymore' is the definition of confidence.  YMMV.

 

*Chromakey--'Another Permanent Address' (Kevin Moore, formerly of Dream Theater.)

[Felguy]

6 hours ago, Tears of Lys said:

Yeah - there's that too.  Damn it.   THANKS, FELGUY.   

OT, I hated this one job I had so much that I went to lunch and didn't come back.  Thinking back on it, it was a douche move on my part, but I felt justified at the time.  I felt physically ill the few hours I had to spend there. 

That's actually pretty cool.

[Felguy]

4 hours ago, litechick said:

It's useless.  People are people.  You are a person.  You have probably been on the other side of that coin, disapproving of someone else's decision.  Let it go. 

I also worked at a call center once.  I lasted at least 3-4 days but it made me feel dirty and I didn't need the money that bad.  I made a stand, bringing my supervisor into the office to tell him exactly why I thought what they were doing was crap.  He didn't convince me, I didn't convince him.  We parted ways and I have never given a crap.

I am reminded of a song lyric*.  "You're everything you dreamed you'd be.  What a civilized way to be angry."

The larger question of dealing with the judgement of others is more interesting than the small question of the call center.  All I can say is age, baby.  The older you get and the more shit you've seen, the easier it is to not give a crap when people doubt you.  The more you don't care, the more other people doubt themselves instead of you.  Does that make sense?  I think I'm talking about confidence.  Sometimes 'I don't care anymore' is the definition of confidence.  YMMV.

 

*Chromakey--'Another Permanent Address' (Kevin Moore, formerly of Dream Theater.)

Yep,  making a stand is exactly what I am doing and I am proud of it. 

 

The callcenter work made me feel dirty as well, being pushy and trying to sell things in that manner isn't in my nature. 

[Tears of Lys]

6 hours ago, Felguy said:

Yep,  making a stand is exactly what I am doing and I am proud of it. 

 

The callcenter work made me feel dirty as well, being pushy and trying to sell things in that manner isn't in my nature. 

Whoa.  You didn't make THAT part clear in your OP.  I assumed it was some sort of customer service call center.

One of my earliest jobs out of school was clerical at a magazine place.  They had a staff that made sales calls.  Well, one day the state attorney general's office showed up and closed the place down.  All of us peons had to just grab our personal belongings and leave immediately.  And like THAT, I and everyone else working there was out of a job. 

Turns out the methods they used to sell magazines were underhanded.  We office staff didn't know much about what the salespeople had to do.  I guess they were strong-arming little old ladies and other despicable things.  They even had an enforcer type who wouldn't take no for an answer when the little old ladies couldn't pay.  This all came out afterwards, of course, or else I wouldn't have worked there, but back then I was pretty naïve to a point. 

 

ETA:  Thinking back on this, I wonder if the AG's of various states take the time to monitor this kind of stuff anymore.  They should.

[Felguy]

1 minute ago, Tears of Lys said:

Whoa.  You didn't make THAT part clear in your OP.  I assumed it was some sort of customer service call center.

One of my earliest jobs out of school was clerical at a magazine place.  They had a staff that made sales calls.  Well, one day the state attorney general's office showed up and closed the place down.  All of us peons had to just grab our personal belongings and leave immediately.  And like THAT, I and everyone else working there was out of a job. 

Turns out the methods they used to sell magazines were underhanded.  We office staff didn't know much about what the salespeople had to do.  I guess they were strong-arming little old ladies and other despicable things.  They even had an enforcer type who wouldn't take no for an answer when the little old ladies couldn't pay.  This all came out afterwards, of course, or else I wouldn't have worked there, but back then I was pretty naïve to a point. 

Ouch.

 

Well they don't work in underhanded ways luckily, but still you have to be pushy, ask questions etc. It's honest sales but still.... being that pushy is annoying. 

[scotcat]

22 hours ago, Felguy said:

How can I make them see that I really made the right decision for myself here? Or is that useless?

You can't, I'm afraid. 

As as someone who has been in the exact same situation - only I stuck it out for 3 agonising weeks- they'll never get it. 

You did the right thing for you, as a person, if they can't see that (despite calling themself a friend), don't try to convince them. 

[Felguy]

1 minute ago, scotcat said:

You can't, I'm afraid. 

As as someone who has been in the exact same situation - only I stuck it out for 3 agonising weeks- they'll never get it. 

You did the right thing for you, as a person, if they can't see that (despite calling themself a friend), don't try to convince them. 

Wow, same thing?

 

Callcenters really must suck, glad I got out.

[scotcat]

Call centres are the devil as far as I am concerned.

You dodged a bullet there. 

[Larry of the Lawn]

3 hours ago, scotcat said:

Call centres are the devil as far as I am concerned.

 

Clearly, you've never consumed an energy drink.   The devil makes hisself known by the neon blue color of your pee.

[TheMightyKC]

Boy, could I tell you about people not accepting my life choices LOL 

The best advice I can offer is trust in the will God, trust that He is looking after you, and guiding down the path He wants you to walk. After all, who do you think is really looking out for you, some "friend" or Our Lord? Lol winky smiley

[Kelli Fury]

I am really having a hard time understanding what is going on with the board lately. I'm not sure if things seem incoherent because of a high influx of new members who are non native English speakers, or members who are pretending not to be 12 years old, or emotionally unbalanced people. But there are a lot of people around who have me scratching my head.

 

My advice to you, assuming you are not a robot sophisticated enough to pretend to be human or a troll and actually a real human being seeking guidance is this-

If you in any way told the people who hired you that you know your friend who works there, it was a dick move. If they had no reason to know except for him telling them it is understandable he would be annoyed at you but it's merely a misunderstanding. In any case, his opinion, even on your life, is not your business at all unless he keeps harping you about it. Apologize if you should, thank him for certain, and move on.

[Theda Baratheon]

I gotta admit - I also struggle with worrying about what other people think of me. But really, it's none of their business. I mean, I sympathise with your mate but you never knew he put in a word for you so you aren't to BLAME or anything. Also - my mate worked in a call centre when she was 16 and they made her work completely illegal hours and she was so depressed and nervous he whole time working there so good call leaving tbh 

[MercenaryChef]

if your friend put his neck out for you and helped you get a job you owe that friend an apology. you bailing after a day makes your pal look bad. 

but, your friend if really a friend should accept your apology and understand that it just was not a job for you. 

[Felguy]

35 minutes ago, MercifulChief said:

if your friend put his neck out for you and helped you get a job you owe that friend an apology. you bailing after a day makes your pal look bad. 

but, your friend if really a friend should accept your apology and understand that it just was not a job for you. 

I did tell him I am sorry right after he told me though. so.... but he seems to have accepted it now.

[Felguy]

1 hour ago, Theda Baratheon said:

I gotta admit - I also struggle with worrying about what other people think of me. But really, it's none of their business. I mean, I sympathise with your mate but you never knew he put in a word for you so you aren't to BLAME or anything. Also - my mate worked in a call centre when she was 16 and they made her work completely illegal hours and she was so depressed and nervous he whole time working there so good call leaving tbh 

I think he's over it, but indeed shouldn't care about what he thinks either way  and nice pun at the end. : P

[CryptofCthulhu]

Being a misanthrope tends to solve the issue. Though for me it's more about disgust and not so much about hatred.

[Crixus]

I once got my little sis an internship where I worked. She went for half a day, never returning after lunch. At first I was pissed, but it all worked out because I ended up leaving not just the company, but the entire frackin' sector. So I'm actually grateful! 

As for people questioning or disapproving of your decisions, fuck 'em. Really. People have a right to think what they want and one of life's key lessons, in my opinion, is simply letting go. The more one dwells on changing other's views or making them think/do what one wants, the more miserable one is. I learnt that the hard way with the same sibling i referred to up-top. 

I mean, I still have people incredulously question our decision to not have kids, and we've been married for nearly 15 years, so yeah. Fuck 'em. 

[Theda Baratheon]

7 hours ago, CryptofCthulhu said:

Being a misanthrope tends to solve the issue. Though for me it's more about disgust and not so much about hatred.

Misanthropes are just boring. Don't be boring.

[CryptofCthulhu]

34 minutes ago, Theda Baratheon said:

Misanthropes are just boring. Don't be boring.

Nah I can be amusing from time to time. I still have a sense of humor.