Lies your mother told you

[polishgenius]

I dunno about nightmares, but eating Stilton in particular definitely gives me some fucking trippy dreams.

[SeanF]

Or your father. Or sister. Or brother. But lies your mother told you carry more gravitas, don't they?

I was just thinking about this when I made scrambled eggs for breakfast the other day, and managed to drop some egg shell into the bowl. As I painstakingly took the bits out, I remembered my mother trying to teach us the importance of not eating egg shells by explaining the Queen's own mother accidentally ate a piece of egg shell and had to be rushed into surgery, because otherwise those wicked eggshells would have cut up her stomach and she would have died. Really.

Actually, the danger from eggshells is salmonella and other bacteria being on the shell.

My example is pretty minor, but I have heard some bizarre stories about things their family told the. Take a break from the US election....

"Your name is Reek."

[Loge]

10 hours ago, ants said:

My understanding is that you shouldn't use hot water for cooking, because the hot water piping is different from the cold water piping. Its not as healthy. 

If the temperature isn't right (i.e. not hot enough) the hot water pipes will breed bacteria, which will make the water unsafe to drink. But then you shouldn't shower under it either. On the other hand, boiling water will deal with any bacteria in it, so there shouldn't be problem with using it for cooking.  

[Theda Baratheon]

if you cross your eyes in the wind you'll stay cross eyed forever lmao 

[Stannis Eats No Peaches]

Funny minor ones? Not really, apart from the old "starving children in Africa" spiel, Santa etc.

There was a lie told to me from a young age, but now that I know the truth, I wish I could go back to being ignorant. Bit too unpleasant to explain to the whole internet though.

[The King in Black]

That she wasn't a god awful parent, wasn't a cheater, wasn't emotionally abusive, and so many more. She was, in other words, a very good example of people worthy of being called a certain word rhyming with runt.

[Jo498]

It was probably not only my father (who believed it himself, I guess) but also little comic books one got for free from the local bank. But as a kid in the 1980s I grew up believing both in the gold standard for currencies and that banks would/could only lend the money that someone else (like little me) had put in their savings accounts. Because that's how they explained to us why paper money works and how saving accounts and bank credits work. Nothing about fiat money and absurd ratios of leverage...

And I bet that very many otherwise fairly smart and erudite people were told stuff like that and more or less believed it until 2007 or so... unless their jobs had to do with banking or finance.

There is probably another "folk" explanation of some social institution that was not quite right, but these two are the most blatant ones and the ones I remember most distinctly.

And that eating uncooked noodles/pasta could give you salmonella (which probably was never a real danger, even with egg noodles).

[DireWolfSpirit]

I feel like I must have missed out on a lot of these sort of mothers tales. I was a youngest child of three and mom was busy with her career as an hospital administrator, so I was on my own after school for the things like snacks and getting around the kitchen from as early as I can remember. Dad did have that superstition about "sitting too close to the TV" and seemed to think "sleeping in or waisting too much of your Saturday on cartoons would would turn us into monsters". Looking back on it, I think dad was definately the one more prone to pass on one of his old fashioned customs.  A couple others were "no elbows on the table" and "no hats at the dinner table", which is still an occasional holiday dinner table admonishment for his grandchildren . Lolol, I couldn't care less for any of those things that dear old dad thought were so important, but noone feels it's worth arguing over and pretty much humors the wishes.

[Jo498]

No hats/no elbows on table etc. are not particularly old-fashioned (at least not in Old Europe).

I remember that when my mom told us such rules she also mentioned that ideally the elbows should stay so close to the body during the meal that a book wedged in between arm and body would never fall down. So next time my sister (around 5 or 6 years old I guess) showed up with two picture books that were so big that they rested on the seat of her chair when she put them under her arms and could not possibly ever fall down. Everybody had a good laugh.

[polishgenius]

1 hour ago, DireWolfSpirit said:

 A couple others were "no elbows on the table" and "no hats at the dinner table", which is still an occasional holiday dinner table admonishment for his grandchildren . Lolol, I couldn't care less for any of those things that dear old dad thought were so important, but noone feels it's worth arguing over and pretty much humors the wishes.

 

 

No elbows at the dinner table is a pretty standard 'good manners' thing that no-one actually cares about once they grow up (although in a formal setting you'd avoid it), but wearing a hat at the dinner table is just rude.

Mind you, I'm of a 'always take your headgear off inside' bent, so the dinner table is just an extra step in uncouthness.

[Magnar of Skagos]

My grandfather would always say vegetables are "good for your capustacles." Still trying to figure out exactly which body part that is, haha.

Anybody else get this? Nobody I know was ever told something like this haha.

[HexMachina]

1 hour ago, polishgenius said:

 

 

No elbows at the dinner table is a pretty standard 'good manners' thing that no-one actually cares about once they grow up (although in a formal setting you'd avoid it), but wearing a hat at the dinner table is just rude.

Mind you, I'm of a 'always take your headgear off inside' bent, so the dinner table is just an extra step in uncouthness.

Never understood the hat rule. I meant, I don't really care either way since I don't wear hats, but I never understood why it was considered rude to wear a hat at the table. It's not like it gets in anyone's way. Does the sight of a hat really bother people so much when they are eating their food? (I do find various other "good manners" very strange too fwiw)

[Fragile Bird]

14 minutes ago, HelenaExMachina said:

Never understood the hat rule. I meant, I don't really care either way since I don't wear hats, but I never understood why it was considered rude to wear a hat at the table. It's not like it gets in anyone's way. Does the sight of a hat really bother people so much when they are eating their food? (I do find various other "good manners" very strange too fwiw)

That comes from ancient custom.  Knights wore helmets to protect themselves in battle.  Taking off your helmet meant you were with people you trusted.  It became a sign of respect that continued with time even when most men wore hats, not helmets.  Wearing a hat while you are seated with friends having a meal is just rude and inappropriate, because of custom.

[SkynJay]

Not sure my parents meant to lie but a lot of urban legends were taught to me by them.  Daddy Longlegs are the mist venomous spiders, Ring around the Rosie was about black death, etc.

[Lily Valley]

3 minutes ago, SkynJay said:

Not sure my parents meant to lie but a lot of urban legends were taught to me by them.  Daddy Longlegs are the mist venomous spiders, Ring around the Rosie was about black death, etc.

Wait.  That's not true? 

[First of My Name]

My mom was also a fan of the starving children in Africa speeches. And she was fond of 'don't sit too close to the TV or you'll get square eyes' too, though she mostly told my sister that because she'd sit literally five inches away from the screen.

[Astromech]

The typical ones most people are mentioning. However, I had a great uncle who had gangrene and lost a toe. My family would tell us children it fell off because he stubbed his toe. So we all thought toes could fall off after being stubbed.

[Kalbear]

Serious time.

• She had never been married. (she was married twice before having me out of wedlock)
• I had been vaccinated. (She chose not to vaccinate me because she was worried about side effects - and even forged the records to prove that I had)
• Told me I started school when I was 6. Nope, started at 8.

Oh yeah, one I literally just found out: PELE WAS NOT THE BRAZILIAN PRESIDENT AT ANY TIME

[Magnar of Skagos]

2 hours ago, SkynJay said:

Not sure my parents meant to lie but a lot of urban legends were taught to me by them.  Daddy Longlegs are the mist venomous spiders, Ring around the Rosie was about black death, etc.

 

2 hours ago, Lily Valley said:

Wait.  That's not true? 

I thought Daddy Longlegs' actually are the most venomous (or atleast, among the most venomous), they just don't have the strength in their fangs to due much damage to a human.

[SkynJay]

6 hours ago, Lily Valley said:

36 minutes ago, Hrokkan of Skagos said:

 

I thought Daddy Longlegs' actually are the most venomous (or atleast, among the most venomous), they just don't have the strength in their fangs to due much damage to a human.

Wait.  That's not true? 

Nope.

(Or if you don't like Snopes Google Daddy Longlegs Poison and find several .edu websites saying the same thing).