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Dating: Hell is Other People


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5 hours ago, Raja said:

Well, my situation is quite different. I didn't add her on facebook as I barely used it. The same goes for Skype. I feel like once you delete him from those channels, it's easier not to get in touch? True, you could just search for his name and send him a message, but that's too many steps for me and I'll have usually come to my senses by then! 

Well, it's worked so far, but it's a very small extra step. The plaintiveness of having to now 'request contact' first to say anything on the most spontaneous channels (facebook, skype) is offputting and an extra barrier, I guess, and I flat-out asked him to not contact me ever again, so that's that - but it's not a huge hurdle, and the oh-so-casual email remains annoyingly available, for example. And we're still Linkedin contacts. And both on Zotero, to get really esoteric. And someone innocently asked me just the other day if I'd read the paper he published and then I couldn't resist looking that up. (Dull but actually kind of citable for my barely-even-a-proposal-thesis. (Won't. (But wouldn't it be funny if...(No. (Although...(and then I was half way through drafting a sci-fi story where two people could only communicate by academic citations because there was an interplanetary cold war on and they both had to pursue increasingly convoluted avenues of complementary but not obviously corresponding research to be able to keep it up, and then the interplanetary KGB, who are actually the main characters, cracked the code but realized that it could lead to a breakthrough in contacting aliens or something like that and then I really start wondering what the hell goes on in my head.))))))

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This reminds me of the internet meme where the person's angry ex contacts them with a direct message to their ebay account because they've blocked them on all social media.

 

And I, too, have deleted numbers and un"friended" exes to avoid sending regrettable messages.  Having to find their number, or add them as a friend is usaully has always been enough to stop me from doing something foolish.

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I'm officially off of the market after two years. She works at the local theater and is studying for her Masters in Psychology, so we shall call her Ms. Theatre Psychologist going forward. I gotta say, I never figured I'd find anyone local who seemed to be such a perfect match for me, but it looks like I'm wrong here.  Without going into too much detail, I can say I'm genuinely happy with this aspect of my life for the first time in a while.

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dude, the platonist soulmate is always already local.  that's perfectly reasonable--as if your other half, as described in the symposium, will be so impolitic as to reside on the opposite side of the planet in this, the best of all possible worlds.  by contrast, were it a lovecraftian universe, maybe then, yeah, you're fucked.

On 5/30/2016 at 8:45 AM, Datepalm said:

The result will be weird. We always add up to weird. I'm obviously into that, I just think he's only tolerating me. Which sucks. Which is why i'm resisting. Sometimes I waver though.

i've been thoroughly chastised for encouraging you down the path of error.  maybe fire the philistine cappy (a fortiori the racist settler) and find a pleasant marxist instead?  

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5 hours ago, Littlefingers In The Air said:

I'm officially off of the market after two years. She works at the local theater and is studying for her Masters in Psychology, so we shall call her Ms. Theatre Psychologist going forward. I gotta say, I never figured I'd find anyone local who seemed to be such a perfect match for me, but it looks like I'm wrong here.  Without going into too much detail, I can say I'm genuinely happy with this aspect of my life for the first time in a while.

So happy for you! Long may it last. :)

3 hours ago, sologdin said:

dude, the platonist soulmate is always already local.  that's perfectly reasonable--as if your other half, as described in the symposium, will be so impolitic as to reside on the opposite side of the planet in this, the best of all possible worlds.  by contrast, were it a lovecraftian universe, maybe then, yeah, you're fucked.

Hmm... maybe I need to figure out which side of the planet counts as "local". 

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7 hours ago, Littlefingers In The Air said:

I'm officially off of the market after two years. She works at the local theater and is studying for her Masters in Psychology, so we shall call her Ms. Theatre Psychologist going forward.

Not Popcorn Psych?  I am disappointed.

Congrats though!

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Oh holy...I just...I mean...why...how? 

Yup, Indian Academic num. 4, being a guy randomly met on a bus months ago, for the love of Christ, found and asked me out on OKC. 

Naturally - but of course, how else - it's highly ambiguous whether it's a date or not. 

I'm clearly officially cursed.

(Seriously, did I ever tell the story of how I met the first one, Mad Economist Guy? I'd been wandering through the forest at night and things like that and then I got into an argument with a strange man with goats and a fedora on a trail outside Makamba and then the bus ride with the mystery little girl back to the city and then he was literally the first person I made eye contact with. It all makes sense to me.) 

ETA - Dammit his profile is funny. 

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Shhhhh! ;) Do not scare her off, she might stop posting these updates!

Datepalm, your life is very interesting to read about and I am sure somebody can construe it as educational or some kind of public service so that you are obliged to continue posting about it in here. :P (Disclaimer: If it is not clear, this is a joke. I do not want anybody to be forced to post or otherwise publically disclose any information they are not comfortable sharing.)

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There go the two most civil hours of my life. Was he Indian? Most definitely. An academic? Absolutely. Was it a date? I don't think a panel of experts, or me, or very possibly he could tell you. So, you know, par the course. 

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I wish I had video documentation of it, I'd like to have a crack at categorising it for you.

My cafe girl crush is finally progressing past just the 'really friendly, but still solely in the context of her work' stage, but just after this started happening she found out her ex was back in the country and now they're back together. It's all good though, she's adorably swoony at the moment and I'm enjoying this side of things, warm friendship is excellent!

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On 6/8/2016 at 3:15 PM, Datepalm said:

I can't be ridiculed by something as lilliputian as the forum when the universe - or some stunt of global demographics - is busy doing same. 

I was going to say a page in the Picayune, but carry on, or pick your teeth.  Tee hee.

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2 hours ago, karaddin said:

I wish I had video documentation of it, I'd like to have a crack at categorising it for you.

I wonder if I could ask the restaurant for video under some excuse...

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