Vikings IX: The Bear Necessities [SPOILERS]

[The Unborn]

Oh right... I forgot about that one. 

 

And last week they were celebrating Yul and now suddenly there was no snow, or am I crazy ?

[Wmarshal]

Over all I liked mostly everything:

France is not that bad anymore, Rollo is wondering when he can go to his own castle as I thought he should, they are thinking of more then Paris, which makes me wonder why Rollo and Odo are the only nobles around and the weird sister twist could go a lot of ways.

Vikings stuff is awesome, Fairhair is a good replacement for our past vikings foes, he is smart, like able and actually looks like he is here for the long run. 

Lagertha is still a badass and her schemes continue to be prefect. 

Ivar, oh Ivar, what a monster you are going to be, the terror of Floki's influence.

Ragnar and Bjorn had great convo and both showed each others long hanging faults.

Yidu being a princess is actually not that bad to me. It expands where the show can go, a specially if she replace Ragnar's third bride and birth the remaining of his sons. 

now to the bad, oh sweet Wessex

Once I loved seeing Ecbert on screen.  Then he grew a unhealthy obession for a monk who was not really a monk  that basically picked Ragnar over him twice, continues to outright make terrible decisions when it comes to his son and their relationship only picking at the idea of a civil war, and giving Aethwulf's dead mother's ring to his wife and outright making her his mistress while looking to betray Kwen. Gee, if a brilliant king like Ecbert can't possibly see how this can blowup in his face, nothing can go wrong!

Edit: Oh and it looks Bjorn is going to kill Erlendur, so it is time to shut up and dance!

[Corvinus85]

1 hour ago, The Unborn said:

And last week they were celebrating Yul and now suddenly there was no snow, or am I crazy ?

Time tends to pass much faster in this series than we realize. Last week they celebrated Yul, and it was snowing. But I don't recall any snow when Harald arrived. And now his whole fleet arrived, which means another few weeks must have passed.

Also, Hirst, if he knows of it, can always back up to the fact that in those centuries Europe was going through a period of warming (long summers, mild winters), which lasted until the early 1300s, then followed by a mini ice age.

[Jaxom 1974]

59 minutes ago, Corvinus said:

 

Also, Hirst, if he knows of it, can always back up to the fact that in those centuries Europe was going through a period of warming (long summers, mild winters), which lasted until the early 1300s, then followed by a mini ice age.

Yeah. Thanks, Obama...

It was another solid episode for me. I wasn't surprised by the princess revelation at all. I was by Ivar.  Bjorn really wants to go to Italy, doesn't he...the way he stares at that map...

[Corvinus85]

2 minutes ago, Jaxom 1974 said:

Yeah. Thanks, Obama...

It was another solid episode for me. I wasn't surprised by the princess revelation at all. I was by Ivar.  Bjorn really wants to go to Italy, doesn't he...the way he stares at that map...

Yes, he does, except I don't think he can read the map. But the moment someone points Rome to him, he'll be on a boat.

[Buckwheat]

17 hours ago, The Unborn said:

I can't understand/don't remember why Ecbert and Aelle wants to help Kwenrith so much (well King Aelle not so much). They already had to help her once against her brother and uncle, and she brings NOTHING to the table, it seems. Why can't they just kill her and conquer her territory instead ?

That is ... a very good question.

13 hours ago, SpaceChampion said:

So wait, why can Lagertha just murder someone?  I assumed Bjorn told her about Erlendur but why is he still alive and the usurper not?  She killed him after all this time just because?  No pretense of lawful execution?

Maybe she wanted to wait till she was sure she is pregnant before murdering him?

Anyway, impressions:

Ivar. You monster ... that scene was painful. Poor little boy. And then Aslaug: "It's not your fault ..." Yeah, it very well damn is. I did not have such a strong dislike for Aslaug as many have till now, but now I am seriously questioning her parenting methods in regards to Ivar. Horrible.

"I have failed wholly at being a husband." Oh Ragnar. At least he has some self-criticism. I like that he reminded Bjorn of little Siggy. Rangar was/is so often shown caring for his babies, but it seems like Bjorn has not inherited any of his love for parenting. I wonder who is taking care of little Siggy now.

Lagertha, Lagertha - great, but what absolutely strongly horribly ruined that assassination scene for me was the setting. Please somebody show me some historical evidence that Vikings used to build white cloth pavillions with Empire-era furniture? I hoped this was a sign that it was a dream scene because it just seemed out of place. I am as happy with Lagertha's life decisions as the next person, but that scene failed for me because the setting looked so out of place and different than every other scene.

So I suppose we can expect Bjorn finally getting rid of Erlendur next week? About time! And now we know why Bjorn had to take Torvi with him - because she needed to provide information!

Paris is interesting as long as scenes involve Rollo. That other noble and his ... uhhhh, sister? Yeah, whatever.

England: Looks like Ekbert is having Aelle murdered on his way back. Lovely. Still do not see the connection between this storyline and the Vikings, though. Judith might want to stop talking about "freedom" one of these days, if it would please her, otherwise she will be waving the US flag around this forum's gun control thread any day soon.

Is anyone really surprised that Yidu/Idu/howeveryouspellhername is the emperor's daughter? How much of that drug has she brought with her?

Agree that Bjorn looks like he is the one that will be exploring new lands this time around. Rome would be great.

[HexMachina]

Also meant to comment that both Lodbroks like to be there and please there women. Oioi!  Though I have to say Torvi looked very unenthusiastic  

[Astromech]

5 minutes ago, HelenaExMachina said:

Also meant to comment that both Lodbroks like to be there and please there women. Oioi!  Though I have to say Torvi looked very unenthusiastic  

Haha, Torvi completely killed the mood by mentioning it was Erlendur's ring at that moment.

So is Lagertha actually pregnant, or was she just roping Kalf in? I was under the impression she couldn't have any more children.

[Corvinus85]

8 minutes ago, HelenaExMachina said:

Also meant to comment that both Lodbroks like to be there and please there women. Oioi!  Though I have to say Torvi looked very unenthusiastic  

Yes, that made me realize that Bjorn really is his father's son. Knows how to get the woman, but fucks it up later on. 

[HexMachina]

Just now, Astromech said:

Haha, Torvi completely killed the mood by mentioning it was Erlendur's ring at that moment.

So is Lagertha actually pregnant, or was she just roping Kalf in? I was under the impression she couldn't have any more children.

Ha! Seems she needs some lessons in dirty talk  

I think she can still conceive. But isn't it carrying e child to term that she struggled with previously?

[Buckwheat]

10 minutes ago, HelenaExMachina said:

Also meant to comment that both Lodbroks like to be there and please there women. Oioi!  Though I have to say Torvi looked very unenthusiastic  

Well, she just saw something that reminded her of Erlendur, what would you expect?

[wolverine]

14 hours ago, SpaceChampion said:

So wait, why can Lagertha just murder someone?  I assumed Bjorn told her about Erlendur but why is he still alive and the usurper not?  She killed him after all this time just because?  No pretense of lawful execution?

Agreed.  I thought that was a really convoluted and contrived scene.  She could have killed him whenever, instead she waits till their wedding?  The only logical reason being:  makes it more interesting for the audience thinking she is actually going to marry him.

 

Also don't understand why the other kings give a shit about Kwenfirth.  Really, I don't care about any of the scenes in England.

 

So a private audience with the king of France involves shouting really important secret information at the top of your lungs with a room full of guards and a crowd of people just outside the door?  That scene was stupid.  You wouldn't have to be Varys to know those "secrets."

 

I still really like the show.  For some reason, I cheer hardcore for Ragnar and still hope he does something worthy of my cheering.

 

[Astromech]

27 minutes ago, HelenaExMachina said:

Ha! Seems she needs some lessons in dirty talk  

I think she can still conceive. But isn't it carrying e child to term that she struggled with previously?

I'm not sure. She had trouble following her miscarriage and the belief she couldn't have children anymore was part of Ragnar's reasoning for his infidelity with and eventual marriage to Aslaug. However religion and superstition plays a much larger role for the characters than it does for any of us in the 21st C. I'm wondering how much was simply belief. Lagertha clearly embraced the warrior aspect of Freyja following the miscarriage and fertility issues. Maybe she can now and just had trouble following the miscarriage. Your guess is as good as mine.

 

17 minutes ago, wolverine said:

 

Also don't understand why the other kings give a shit about Kwenfirth.  Really, I don't care about any of the scenes in England

 

I don't really think they do. Both Ecbert and Aelle are using her and Mercia to keep each other honest. Both have wider ambitions.

[Veltigar]

Well, this episode was mostly terrible. Aside from Ivarr's little shocking moment, some of Ragnar's stuff and Aslaug's new beau it sucked donkey balls. A shame, I hoped they'd built on what was excellent last week instead of throwing a lot of stuff down the crapper.

First of all, what was up with the cringe-inducing dialogue this episode. Who fucking writes stuff like this:

Quote

 Judith d'Arc to Aelle “I will always listen to you father, but also to my own conscience, and weigh such things in the balance if it please you.”

She should shut the fuck up already. The feminist angle an sich doesn't bother me that much, but if you have a character who's that stupid spout shit like this, it just pisses me off. The rest of Wessex was just as worse. Ecbert's confessions was lazy and unnecessary. We didn't learn anything new, we didn't get any cool visuals or something like that. It was just yapping, yapping without purpose. Aethelwulf's spark of light was extinguished this week. What a push-over. How would any nobleman respect the opinion of a man who allows his unfaithful wife to make a fool of him like that. The only thing good about Wessex was the following exchange between Kwentrith and Ecbert:

Quote

Ecbert: “Why would you doubt me?”
Kwentrith: “I doubt you for one reason only. That you and I are somewhat alike.”
Ecbert: “Then do not judge yourself too harshly.”

 

Paris was even more awful than we're used too (although not quite as soulcrushingly bad as Rollo killing his own men). Court intrigues don't happen like this, because if you don't want to get killed, you have to play it smart. Why is anything Roland says credible to King Fop? Especially since he's pimping out his own sister and seems to be the primary benificiary of Histoire d'Odo's fall. And when has Histoire d'Odo done anything to indicate his "ambitions"? If he wanted to be Emperor, he had his chance during Ragnar's assault. 

Also, if you don't want to get killed, you might want to talk with the king without having his guards on hands. You know, those soldiers Odo quite capably lead during the Viking assault and who probably have a million times more respect for him than for Emperor Whimpey. 

And Rollo's stuf was almost as weak. We get it Hirst, the Vikings pagan and macho ways trump the morales of those dirty, corrupted christians. The romcom nature of this plot also keeps disappointing. This should have got 

The Hedeby stuff was retarded as well. Pregnant "girlpower" is no excuse for shafting Lagertha for the last couple of episodes. Hirst took this whole plotpoint straight from D&D's "Shlockpower!" playbook for GoT.  She brutally murdered her husband to be and father of her child on her wedding day. There should have been more dissenters. This was just lazy.

Bjorn was bad as well. Hirst's daughter can't act, but there was also a lot of poorly delivered dialogue from him like: 

Quote

“I will never give you any cause to kill me.”

“That’s not for you to say. I may find cause where others do not. Who knows?”

Some of Ragnar's stuff was poor too. Fimmel continue to acts the shit out of this, but come on, now Yidu is a Chinese princess. How cliche! It also beggers believe that no one knows about the faith of those English settlers. They must have been slaughtered years ago in this show's wonky timeline. Somebody should have known. And I hope to God his 'I'm old schtick' is just an act. I felt the show played that a bit straight, he should be salivating over the possibility of plunderin China. 

I quite liked halfdane, he was pretty funny.

The best scene was definitely Ivarr freaking out. It had that eerie strangeness I like about Vikings. I also enjoyed seeing Floki's 'oh fuck' face. He was definitely shocked by Ivar's action. And Aslaug is a horrible parent. she's making a Francis Dollarhyde out of the boy with all that 'it's not your fault Ivar, that stupid boy just fell on your axe' 

 

20 hours ago, Wmarshal said:

http://deadline.com/2016/03/vikings-renewed-season-5-history-jonathan-rhys-meyers-1201722220/

http://variety.com/2016/tv/news/vikings-renewed-season-5-jonathan-rhys-meyers-cast-1201733044/

Well I guess we are in it to win it.

 

 Hirst + Rhys-Meyers. We already got that once and it was awful. Besides, Rhys-Meyers is a total shitmagnet. The guy can act, but aside from Matchpoint he's never been in anything good. 

20 hours ago, Astromech said:

Oh fuck, Hirst and Johnathan Rhys Meyers. Tudors flashbacks. NOT COOL! I like Jonathan Rhys Meyers, but this is starting to scare me. I hope they don't cast Henry Cavill and his one facial expression . . . lost. 

I think Cavill would be a great addition to Vikings, if he doesn't have to open his mouth or move or anything. Basically, he would be a good corpse I think. 

18 hours ago, Astromech said:

 Erlendur's days are numbered. Blood Eagle II I hope.

That would be a waste of the Blood eagle. If you're just blood eagling everyone, it just loses a lot of its dramatic strength. 

17 hours ago, Nictarion said:

Liked that we got a glimpse of how ruthless Ivar will become as well. 

I don't know if I'd call his actions here ruthless per se. His screaming and Aslaug's 'it's not your fault' don't turn a boy into a ruthless and cunning leader. Right now he seems on his way to become a murdering douchebag. I think Floki will have to guide his capacity for violence in more productive ways. 

14 hours ago, SpaceChampion said:

So wait, why can Lagertha just murder someone?  I assumed Bjorn told her about Erlendur but why is he still alive and the usurper not?  She killed him after all this time just because?  No pretense of lawful execution?

This whole plotline smelled bad. 

44 minutes ago, Buckwheat said:

"I have failed wholly at being a husband." Oh Ragnar. At least he has some self-criticism. I like that he reminded Bjorn of little Siggy. Rangar was/is so often shown caring for his babies, but it seems like Bjorn has not inherited any of his love for parenting. I wonder who is taking care of little Siggy now.

[Spockydog]

That was fucking dreadful. Hands down, the worst ever episode of what was once a brilliant show. So much filler, and none of it good. Wtf was up with that neverending bath scene? Are they trying to tap into the 14-year-old kleenex kids? Enough with the shitty sex scenes.

The 20 episode run is ruining this show. It's almost as if they had the plot mapped all mapped out for ten episodes, then some dumbass doubled the order and they just padded it out with shit.

 

[RhaenysBee]

Just when I say nothing happened in this episode, everything happens. 

Ivar... Wow.  Just wow. All the questions. Why is there an axe in his cart? Why is Floki teaching that child? Does Ragnar know of this? Does he not mind? Ivar would have been better off if Aslaug just let Ragnar parent when he tried to. 

Lagertha slays. Literally. And why would she not when those men are stupid enough to let her train her own army of shield maidens. Lagertha is not stupid, she knows Kalf betrayed her once and she knows Erlandur holds grudge against them. The two of them getting ever closer is a clear sign that it's time to make a move. By the way, I am convinced that she is not with child. And I must say it is a slightly bit interesting to see Lagertha as a blushing (or not) bride while Ragnar (who is by all reason around the same age/not much older than her) complaining about how he got old and tired. 

I can't get over the fact that Gisla changed to the exact opposite of herself in ONE episode. Rollo with the short hair though. With that chest though. With those tattoos though... Ah. 

Bjorn is Ragnar's mini me. I'm a little confused about why he took Torvi with him though. Just to give the finger to Erlandur? Or just to get laid and forget Porunn? Or did it just seem like a good two in one option to cover both? 

I don't really know what I think about the Chinese girl. It was made obvious that she isn't a random slave, but how does an emperor's daughter end up in chains in Kattegat?  

More confusion. So Judith and Ecbert will make this Facebook official now? And wtf with Aethelwulf and the flogging? My friend, why would you flog yoself for sleeping with a woman you like when there is not one person around you who doesn't sleep with whoever they like? Ecbert and Aelle helping Kwenthryth makes zero sense. 

[Wmarshal]

7 minutes ago, BB-Rhae said:

More confusion. So Judith and Ecbert will make this Facebook official now? And wtf with Aethelwulf and the flogging? My friend, why would you flog yoself for sleeping with a woman you like when there is not one person around you who doesn't sleep with whoever they like? Ecbert and Aelle helping Kwenthryth makes zero sense. 

I am preview spoiled, but it never made sense. Like at all. In the past two campaigns they could have easily made it a war of conquest be it they were ask to do everything. Her contentiously  showing she can't hold Mercia better then a upjump peasant hero shows just how terrible a queen she is, the fact she keeps asking for foreign only makes her more useless in holding control of Mercia.

1 hour ago, Veltigar said:

She should shut the fuck up already. The feminist angle an sich doesn't bother me that much, but if you have a character who's that stupid spout shit like this, it just pisses me off. The rest of Wessex was just as worse. Ecbert's confessions was lazy and unnecessary. We didn't learn anything new, we didn't get any cool visuals or something like that. It was just yapping, yapping without purpose. Aethelwulf's spark of light was extinguished this week. What a push-over. How would any nobleman respect the opinion of a man who allows his unfaithful wife to make a fool of him like that. The only thing good about Wessex was the following exchange between Kwentrith and Ecbert:

In Aethelwulf defense his only option now is to murder his father, he seems to honestly care for Ecbert, even though Ecbert tries his damness to show he is undeserving of it. Though he cuckhold Aethelwulf, had his friend cuckhold him, try to get him killed,  pushed him aside for a guy he new for a week, pushed his son aside for bastard of Aethelwulf's wife and the guy he knew for a week, and gave Aethelwulf's mom's ring to his mistress/Aethelwulf's wife, Aethelwulf just doesn't seem he wants to kill his dad. Though we are only a quarter in, and Ecbert being a poor king and father is bound to continue forward.

[Jack Bauer 24]

54 minutes ago, Spockydog said:

That was fucking dreadful. Hands down, the worst ever episode of what was once a brilliant show. So much filler, and none of it good. Wtf was up with that neverending bath scene? Are they trying to tap into the 14-year-old kleenex kids? Enough with the shitty sex scenes.

The 20 episode run is ruining this show. It's almost as if they had the plot mapped all mapped out for ten episodes, then some dumbass doubled the order and they just padded it out with shit.

 

Couldn't agree more. That bath scene was cringey and Charle's acting was horrible in this episode. This show has regressed so much since Season 2 it's saddening.

[Alia of the knife]

57 minutes ago, BB-Rhae said:

Just when I say nothing happened in this episode, everything happens. 

Ivar... Wow.  Just wow. All the questions. Why is there an axe in his cart? Why is Floki teaching that child? Does Ragnar know of this? Does he not mind? Ivar would have been better off if Aslaug just let Ragnar parent when he tried to. 

Lagertha slays. Literally. And why would she not when those men are stupid enough to let her train her own army of shield maidens. Lagertha is not stupid, she knows Kalf betrayed her once and she knows Erlandur holds grudge against them. The two of them getting ever closer is a clear sign that it's time to make a move. By the way, I am convinced that she is not with child. And I must say it is a slightly bit interesting to see Lagertha as a blushing (or not) bride while Ragnar (who is by all reason around the same age/not much older than her) complaining about how he got old and tired. 

I can't get over the fact that Gisla changed to the exact opposite of herself in ONE episode. Rollo with the short hair though. With that chest though. With those tattoos though... Ah. 

Bjorn is Ragnar's mini me. I'm a little confused about why he took Torvi with him though. Just to give the finger to Erlandur? Or just to get laid and forget Porunn? Or did it just seem like a good two in one option to cover both? 

I don't really know what I think about the Chinese girl. It was made obvious that she isn't a random slave, but how does an emperor's daughter end up in chains in Kattegat?  

More confusion. So Judith and Ecbert will make this Facebook official now? And wtf with Aethelwulf and the flogging? My friend, why would you flog yoself for sleeping with a woman you like when there is not one person around you who doesn't sleep with whoever they like? Ecbert and Aelle helping Kwenthryth makes zero sense. 

I'm not going to lie, I won't say I was drunk, but after celebrating St. Patrick's Day, everything was a little fuzzy. Ragnar is a junkie now and his new girlfriend is a Princess from China?

Wow, he just seems to fall into Princess's, (literally).

Ivar reminded me of the reason why I don't have kids, (because you never know if they're going to go all "heeeeere's Johnny" on you despite your best parenting efforts).

Floki's still alive I see.

How did Floki's daughter die?

Why would any sane man who watched a woman poison her brother in front of a live audience decide to throw his lot in with her?

I could go on, but you've captured my outrage. I'm not sure if I want to watch it sober.

It appears after a couple of years of solid writing which gained the show such credibility, he decided to go all "Tudor" on us.  He couldn't help himself I guess.

[Alia of the knife]

Is there a brother/sister thing going on, or was that the alcohol?